Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I had a really quirky title... 2 days ago

And I forgot it.

Pistons and C's tonight. Tune in mofo's. Best shit in the East in on display 2-niz-ight. I may or may not watch. I might be doing some other shit (ns). I'll try to make "other shit" include swinging by a pub with sports entertainment on broadcast television, but we will have to see.

Clemens is talking mess about how he didn't take it the seat cheek. Roger, you're what.. 45? You've been humming along these last few years like you're 18. Plus, you're the pitching equivalent of Barry. We don't need you to treat us like we're complete idiots. We can tell. We get it. Notice that we still paid really good ass money to pack out stadiums to see you guys though? Stop with the BS. We like our atheletes to be crazy physical specimens no matter how they get there. We like our drugs, we like our sports. You're telling me that if American Gladiators comes on ESPN Classic, you're not watching it for at least one episode? I rest my case. F*ck it. Everybody should just be allowed to cheat. You know like half the guys in the leagues are on shit anyway, who are we fooling? They're just on the crap that isn't tested for or is ahead of the curve and is undetectable. And the only reason these rules are in place is so the commissioners can feign shock and disbelief and play dumb that anyone would use enhancement substances and they won't be culpable. Although nowadays, it's on the books for media purposes and for legal purposes. "Media purposes" meaning that they don't want to have their name branded in the history books of our sports. Take the money, don't take the blame. Stay away from infamy. I guess I can respect that. Hell, it's the American Way! Of course we all know it's all for show. I hate show. I hate the dance, I hate the fake politician-smiles that come with it, I hate watching affaleets DENOUNCE THESE ACCUSATIONS!!... and then 6 months later come back and say "ok ya know what, I was scurred.. I lied, I so sorry...". Everybody in this world realizes that hard work gets you absolute shit and it doesn't really pay off. There is no way some human being is gonna be able to outrun a cheetah or a zorse by just hitting some weights and ordering one of those "training parachutes" from Eastbay. Maybe get some hot cross-trainers or something.. then that'll help it though. But we like it that way. And we repeatedly tell you this by using our cash mooooooney.

In a sidenote to this.. there was an article in the local paper that the Red Wings are finally supposed to be dropping ticket prices for playoff games. They used to jack em up like 4 times the amount of regular season games. The only reason they're changing.. cause ain't no ma'fuggers showin' up! Last year you could get tickets at the door. Walk up... buy playoff tickets for the number one seed? Shit, you better change something. Point being, until people show a change wif their wallets.. ain't jack shizzle gonna change.

This was 2 totally unrelated issues, but I tied them together with a little Christmas bow for ya.

I'm sure there's other shit to mention, but I'm not gonna do it since it's late now. Sorry, I saw Roger Clemens' stupid fat face on the WWL and I couldn't help myself. I'd like to stomp on his fat little neck. I am just beyond fed up with people lying about shit and putting up these fake ass fronts. Shit just doesn't add up mayyyyyne. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and paddles around in your pond like a duck... fuckin' shoot it and eat it, cause it's a duck and that's what it deserves. Survival of the fittest, bitch!

Hope you all have a mary xmas and happi new yeer. Yer all so speciul in my hart!!!211!!11!!!!!(

854 comments:

1 – 200 of 854   Newer›   Newest»
Steve said...

lot's of anger in that post.

Steve said...

Well, if i'm gonna have control of the top how about some Linkage

Steve said...

quasi NSFW

Steve said...

I can't be stopped, I'm like Chuck Norris in that movie (it doesn't matter which, just pick one)

Beth said...

Vanna is still hot.

blue said...

chuck norris told me that I should go to training to be a border patrol agent....and by told me, i mean he was on a commercial on the radio telling me.

Beth said...

Enough Steve.

(That's what she said.)

Steve said...

"(That's what she said.)"


how did she talk with that gag in her mouth?

Beth said...

Steve is feisty today. Either that or he's confessing waaaaaay too much.

Jugdish said...

At the end yesterday's post I posted some links to hall of fame voting procedures for the baseball writer's association if you're interested.

Steve said...

i'm in a mood...which is to say, i'm really really bored at work.

blue said...

I'm nominating Angelina Jolie for the LoV HoF. Her and Pete Rose can be the first members

Jugdish said...

AJ is not a first ballot HOFer.

Steve said...

"I'm nominating Angelina Jolie "


because she's old?

Steve said...

before we have LOV HOF we need guidelines for entry.


Like for example:

1) The applicant must have presented herself full frontal nude in at least one movie.

blue said...

Pete Rose never presented himself full frontal

Beth said...

"Pete Rose never presented himself full frontal"

Thank god for that.

blue said...

My reasoning for her nomination is that she is probably the most discussed celebrity on here. Her circle of LoV rating is unparalleled...

Steve said...

indeed.

iamacunninglinguist said...

has it been mentioned that Britney's 16 yr old sister is preggo?

blue said...

guidelines would not be a bad thing though...

blue said...

"has it been mentioned that Britney's 16 yr old sister is preggo?"

I think jug linked it yesterday..way to keep in country there jamie Lynn.

and she met the father.....wait for it.....at church

blue said...

*keep it country

Steve said...

Yea, I don't think Mrs. Spears is gonna be winning any Mother Of The Year awards anytime soon.

El Padrino said...

nice post

Beth said...

"and she met the father.....wait for it.....at church"

When she was 13 & 1/2 years old and he was 3 years older.

El Padrino said...

count me in on the jenna fischer bangwagon

El Padrino said...

i was in a meeting just now with a dood who breathe-ded like a bear

it was distracting

iamacunninglinguist said...

in all fairness Beth, she was a "hot thirteen".

and she was asking for it. we all saw the way she was doodling in her devotional...

Jugdish said...

elp...was it a big fat guy...like a heart attack waiting to happen?

blue said...

If you're her mom, how do you not have her on the pill?

and if you're jamie lynn, how do you not see how fucked up your sister is since having kids.

El Padrino said...

jug, not really
nowhere near rev size

a big italian dood though
like 6"3, 250

bouncer type

tem said...

i ♥ iam posts

El Padrino said...

Spears family = White Trash

El Padrino said...

fertile bitches too

godam

ToddPacker said...

good stuff, bbb

back to the tps

tem said...

16yr old pregnant chicks brings backs the memories...

blue said...

thinking about yer mom, huh tem?

El Padrino said...

TPT are very fertile

i was on red alert everytime i engaged in romantic sessions in south florida

hell who knows, there might be a little el pad or too running around that mofo

iamacunninglinguist said...

look for the chesthair

tem said...

ATTENTION:

Final TCS rankings and TCS bowl schedule to be announced today.

tem said...

and by bowl schedule i mean playoff schedule.

Beth said...

"look for the chesthair"

And that's just on the girls.

(Sorry, that was too easy.)

Jugdish said...

I wonder who is in the TCS championship game against Zeke.

I think we should have a playoff system.

tem said...

it will be a playoff. i meant playoff.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'SSSSSSSSS

WEDNESDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!


Number of people I've seen wearing Santa hats today: 1

Number of people I've seen wearing Santa hats today who I need to punch in the face: 0 (but I'm working on it)

blue said...

was that one person you zeke?

did you just look in the mirror, it's ok you can admit it

BROTHER THOMAS said...

playoffs? (Jim Mora voice)

BROTHER THOMAS said...

wasn't me, I'm wearing the yarmulke, not the santa hat.

Jugdish said...

Will this playoff take place after the first of the year?

tem said...

i am pretty sure zeke has the #1 seed wrapped up.

tem said...

must be a chick in the hat.

or his boss.

or fmzeke.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

britney's sister didn't even get to the "not legal yet extremely hot and you'd do her" phase.

she jumped straight to "downside of your career/letting yourself go 'my life is crumbling'" phase.

that's impressive

tem said...

"Will this playoff take place after the first of the year?"

they will be before and after.

El Padrino said...

whore

BROTHER THOMAS said...

"There is no way some human being is gonna be able to outrun a cheetah or a zorse by just hitting some weights and ordering one of those "training parachutes" from Eastbay. "

Classic.

I'm going to create a Mitch Albom "Wednesday's with FH" type book.

I will give you no royalties.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

Britney Spear's mom had a book about parenting coming out....now its on hold.

NS

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

"How 2 raze ur chillin'" by Britney's Moms

tem said...

cummy will probably make the playoffs.

haha.

tem said...

they need to edit it to just say "do the opposite of what this here bitch says to do"

El Padrino said...

failed to mention that the bear wears cologne that smells like puke

vomit

El Padrino said...

and wears a mink coat under his shirt

all the sterotypes match

guido

El Padrino said...

chest hair out
a christhead nestled in it
bad cologne
looks like a henchman in the Campanella family

blue said...

they're changing the name of the book to "how to promote your children into celebrity only to watch them crash and burn and destroy their lives before they're 25"

it's a long title

BROTHER THOMAS said...

EP - what color IROC does he drive?

iamacunninglinguist said...

xmas luncheon today. i aints brings'd shit.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

bought and peeped game on The Simpsons.

solid to very good.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

xmas luncheon today. i aints brings'd shit.

go get chicken mcnuggets

ns

tem said...

everyone ♥s mcnuggets.

El Padrino said...

fantastic idea

IROC-Z is hilarious

BROTHER THOMAS said...

at my old job we'd have pot lucks every few months, I'd always bring mcnuggets. people would try to clown and crack jokes about it, but they'd be the first thing gone everytime.

mcnuggets are clutch.

iamacunninglinguist said...

i think i'll go with "bring nothing, eat everything" instead.

iamacunninglinguist said...

but if i wasnt a selfish, ungrateful fuck McNuggs would be killer.

iamacunninglinguist said...

and i liked the days of "what sauces?"... "one of each please!" much better. screw McD's and their getting all 'holier then before' with their sauce giving.

iamacunninglinguist said...

super size me ZZZZZZZZ

Morgan Spurlock is sitting in a dumpster somewhere being proud.

El Padrino said...

havent had mc nuggs in a hot minute
tonight have party sounds like a good time for them

El Padrino said...

*after

iamacunninglinguist said...

i'm giving it to ya in the morning and youre not even awake... bask!

(beth knows what that's like)

iamacunninglinguist said...

the fake chicken absorbs alcohol like a champ

tem said...

HUNGRY

iamacunninglinguist said...

grub time all up in this bitch

iamacunninglinguist said...

hope they brought stuff i like (s, but ns.. but still mostly S)

El Padrino said...

Diner is go to

sloppy burger, greasy fries
cuts right thru a pint of whiskey

El Padrino said...

please report back with a menu list

El Padrino said...

GET OFF THE SHED!

Jugdish said...

McNuggets are the Mariano Rivera (of 5 years ago) of hangover food.

El Padrino said...

IF YOU DONT OFF THAT GODAMN SHED I WILL DRIVE YOU TO THE DSERT IN AUGUST AND LEAVE YOU THERE!

GET
OFF
THE SHED!

El Padrino said...

Get off the shed

early snl will

Jugdish said...

Mutombo'd

El Padrino said...

finally we put to use, the fat people

BROTHER THOMAS said...

Number of people I've seen wearing Santa hats today: 2

the other person is a guy, the office "doofus", he stopped by my door and said "have you been a good boy?".

WFT!

this guy must be stopped

El Padrino said...

beth you have to be happy about the tuna

El Padrino said...

finally some football professionalism will be brought to atlanta

i'm happy for you

blue said...

Cher's daughter is a grizzly bear

JFreak said...

I think I'm gonna take a nap.

JFreak said...

"Cher's daughter is a grizzly bear"

That's a man, baby.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

Cher must be very happy.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

if Parcells isn't the GM what's the point of going to ATL?

blue said...

if you name your daughter chastity...aren't you just begging for that to come back and bite you in the ass?

Beth said...

See EP, I don't even know if that's a good thing. I know he was hot shit many years ago but is that still the case?

If nothing else though, it does bring some respectability to a franchise in desperate need of it.

blue said...

"if Parcells isn't the GM what's the point of going to ATL?"

he's going to hire a GM, but you know that Parcells will be the man making all the calls on players and coaches.

Jugdish said...

Thats a good thing...not a bad thing.

blue said...

parcells has said that his first order of business was to get a sandwich.

then he wanted to talk to the judge who sentenced vick and see if he'd let him out on some sort of "work release"

El Padrino said...

Parcells in in the upper echelon of football guys the league has ever seen

and zeke he will be making all the moves anyway, the GM title is the same as a dentists wife

trophy job

El Padrino said...

the team he built (this years cowboys) is doing well this yeat isnt it?

El Padrino said...

i was hoping he'd take over for Acorsi, instead of this fool Reese that we have now

BROTHER THOMAS said...

Det/Boston followed by Suns/Mavs on ESPN tonight.

El Padrino said...

DEEEE troit is a lock tonight, +6

shit
gimme dat!

El Padrino said...

suns/are going to dismantle the Mavs

El Padrino said...

there is a fire isiah poster today in the NY Daily News, they are encouraging the fans to bring it and wave it around tonight at the game

El Padrino said...

bron bron is in town

El Padrino said...

zeke Suns plus 3, i'm all over that like cummy on the sheep dog

blue said...

mavs are not good this year...not good

blue said...

not good

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"count me in on the jenna fischer bangwagon"

Finally!

Pam's hot

BROTHER THOMAS said...

Dallas is still 17-9.

Jugdish said...

Someone called Clemens "Roidger Clemens" on Rome.

tem said...

Final TCS have been calculated.

tem said...

Final 3 teams that didn't make the cut.

AKA the Snubs:

Rev
Steve
WC

sucks for steve because he was active today.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

tem don't release the results at once...release some matchups then take a break....like they do on TV.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

is this YTD, MTD, this week?

please advice?

Jugdish said...

So no appearence for Rev in the Cheez wiz bowl huh?

BROTHER THOMAS said...

Rev
Steve
WC

unlike his cholesterol, rev's SOS was too low.

Jugdish said...

I am curious about the bowl names.

tem said...

"is this YTD, MTD, this week?

please advice?"

this is based on oct 27th until last friday.

except for the days I forgot. which are like 3 and i am too lazy to change them.

tem said...

it takes into account almost 23K comments. so it is a good sample size.

tem said...

in the classic juggernaut vs playoff fodder matchup of the number 1 overall seed vs. the number 16 seed we find Zeke taking on Iam.

Herbstriet's Analysis:
Iam is a former powerhouse who has slipped this year. An upset could happen, but really I just don't see anyone taking down Zeke this year. He has been dominant from start to finish.

Lee Corso's Analysis:
Not so fast my friend. Iam has been saving up his energy for a playoff run. This is a veteran team that knows when to turn it on and now is the time to turn it on. I expect Iam to pull off the upset of the year.

blue said...

that paul shirley chat was "long and distinguished.

like my johnson"

blue said...

"not so fast my friend" is classic

blue said...

did Corso put on the "Iam" mascot head?

BROTHER THOMAS said...

corso whipped out the "Self Help" t-shirt

iamacunninglinguist said...

hopefully corso just pulled out the actual gun and did the deed.

ah ah ah... kill kill kill

DO IT LEE!!

iamacunninglinguist said...

i'm gonna stomp zeke out. just let me know when and where.

blue said...

any good grub at the potluck Iam?

El Padrino said...

hilarity

tem said...

1st round is thursday and friday.

tem said...

sucks if you are on vacation

Jugdish said...

You better get some poop on your hands iam. Talk to Beth.

blue said...

beth does a great impression of one of the cupchicks gals

iamacunninglinguist said...

feces up in dis bitch.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

sucks if you are on vacation


actually I'm out Friday, the upset could happen.

tomorrow I've got meetings all day.

blue said...

is the TCS brought to us by a corporate sponsor...say like AXE?

tem said...

2nd round is 26th through 28th

3rd round is 31st through 4th

championship is 7th through 11th

iamacunninglinguist said...

dessert... there was some good ass chocolate cake, thats fo sho. had some crumbly chunks of choco. on top of it. little cherry dipping sauce stuff and a bucket of like this brown-sugar kinda stuff. good shit.

food.. ham, turkey, salad, noodle shit.. very typical pot-lucky.. but there were some deviled eggs, but crab stuffed. tasty little morsels.

Jugdish said...

I think the TCS games should be the first full week in Jan.

tem said...

if we want i can extend rounds 1 and 2 a bit.

blue said...

crab stuffed deviled eggs sound intriguing

tem said...

the TCS is brought to us by Summer's Eve.

iamacunninglinguist said...

dont make pre-rape excuses zeke. youre gettin no reach around and youre gonna like it.

tem said...

you want them to start then jug?

on jan 7th?

blue said...

"I think the TCS games should be the first full week in Jan."

this is a playoff, you gotta give up the old bowl system jug...it's the modern era of LoV

iamacunninglinguist said...

fuck that tem, if Jordan was hurt they didnt stop the playoffs..

YOU PLAY TO WIN THA GAYME!

Jugdish said...

You can pencil me in for a forfeit anytime between This Saturday and the first of the year.

blue said...

I like how it's set up because it's going to be a slow next couple of weeks anyway

iamacunninglinguist said...

actually, i'll take my wins however i need to take em. i dont need no asterisk on my name..

Jugdish said...

Start them whenever...I'll be out of town the 26th through the 30th. I don't normally log on on weekends or at night either.

blue said...

Question:

I can't remember, but is the Y! FNFL championship 2 weeks combined, or just this week?

I think just this week, but I thought that about beisbol too, and it went 2 weeks.

iamacunninglinguist said...

crab stuffed eggs still = egg farts.

gotamn, and i have a training session to go to... sorry in advance to those ma'fuggers

blue said...

tem-

are you posting on christmas and new years day?

blue said...

I don't know if I can go 3 weeks without a tem movie review

BROTHER THOMAS said...

crab stuffed eggs still = egg farts.


egg farts = A+

iamacunninglinguist said...

i'm game for whatever the most level playing field is..

cause i'm draggin my nutz to the champeeyonship no matter which way ya cut it.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

what are the rest of the matchups?

iamacunninglinguist said...

gotta wait til the highlight montage ends, then the next matchups will be released..

blue said...

tem went to commercial break before revealing the next matchup

BROTHER THOMAS said...

don't forget to have at least one segment of the TCS matchup show devoted to fallen homies.

eb
jay scott
rev
etc

El Padrino said...

iam is motivated

tem said...

"
are you posting on christmas and new years day?"

yes.

tem said...

i'm sticking with this:

1st round is 20th and 21st

2nd round is 26th through 28th

3rd round is 31st through 4th

championship is 7th through 11th


weekends don't count, there are no weekends in the above dates. but there are some holidays. tough.

blue said...

boxing day will be the toughest day to overcome

Spaceman Spiff said...

just eliminate me, i will be on vacation next week

El Padrino said...

damn, i got a dirty on my tie

El Padrino said...

march madness got nothing on TCS

tem said...

it was a tight battle between our 2-4 seeds, but Blue was able to pull out the #2 ranking. He will face the #15 team Beth.

John Madden Analysis:
Blue just had a baby, so he might get distracted. Then again he might be motivated. You never know. But if you look right here, right here, you can see Blue taking it right upfield. BOOM. That's what he is going to do to Beth.

Al Michaels Analysis:
But you never can underestimate the female competitor. She is fighting for her whole gender so she might be able to pull of the upset. Whatever happens it will be exciting to watch.

blue said...

*cue the "battle of the two chicks" comments

blue said...

did eracist make the final 16?

Jugdish said...

Do first round this Thursday and Friday, and the rest of the rounds after the first of the year.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

it was a tight battle between our 2-4 seeds, but Blue was able to pull out the #2 ranking. He will face the #15 team Beth.

wow, tight and beth in the same sentence/paragraph.

she's got to like that, no doubt its been a while since you could say that.

must.stop. fighting...urge...so...many...jokes...must.stop.

tem said...

The #3 seed went to Keith making the Arizona area a hotbed for teams this year. Keith will be up against one of the most hated teams in the league, the #14 seed Cummy.


Keyshawn Johnson Analysis:
Keith reminds me of me when I played, except he isn't quite as good. Look for him to steamroll Cummy because ain't nobody likes Cummy.

Emmit Smiff Analysis:
Now Cummy is gonna be motivated. He relishes the role of the hated team and will use that as billboard material. I got one thing to say to Cummy. Don't give up, don't even give up.

tem said...

"did eracist make the final 16?"

no, even WC beat out erascist.

also Marcomarco did, but sparty did not.

blue said...

This matchup is great. This is one of those rivalry games. Keith was always a big hater of cummy, as referenced with all the grammatical corrections, and the banishment bet....lots to look forward to.

tem said...

"Do first round this Thursday and Friday, and the rest of the rounds after the first of the year."

fine.

1st Round 20th and 21st

2nd Round 2nd through 4th

3rd Round 7th through 11th

champ 14th trough 18th.

i'm on vacation 7-10 so expect tem (assuming he makes it) to peter out in the 3rd round.

that bit of info is just in case el pad starts betting on the TCS.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

I vote to exclude cummy from the TCS, it gives him a reason to post here.

Jugdish said...

If you make it to that round, just reschedule your game.

We're all about flexibility.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

we need to make special ND like rules for Cummy in the TCS, except the exact opposite.

tem said...

there is no rescheduling.

i'm done rearranging the schedule.

i couldn't put spiffsg out in the cold though while he was on vacation. he'd write bad things about us on espn.com

tem said...

we now pause for a commercial break brought to you by Sara Lee Apple Pie and The movie American Pie.

El Padrino said...

tem your on the ball today

well fucking done sir

blue said...

it wouldn't be the TCS without whining about scheduling and matchups

tem said...

if people are bitching then the TCS is doing its job.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

I saw a commercial the other day for a straight to DVD American Pie movie.

that series will live on forever

BROTHER THOMAS said...

tem, I'm creating a "bracket" to post on LOF for this.

tell me if you're already working on one and I'll stop

Jugdish said...

OK elp, for someone like my wife and I coming to NYC for a few days wanting to see some sites, are these explorer passes pretty good?

I'm sure you've never been on them, but maybe you've heard about them some.

Jugdish said...

Did they have a Stiffler character in there?

BROTHER THOMAS said...

Does that pass include getting mugged, pissed/vomitted on by a bum, acosted (sp) by an illegal immigrant taxi driver, etc?

or are those complimentary?

BROTHER THOMAS said...

the only character that I recognized was the father.

Jugdish said...

I think they just give those to you Zeke...you don't even have to ask.

BROTHER THOMAS said...

tem will the TCS work like a tourney bracket, 1/16 winner vs 8/9 winner, or will you re-seed?

ToddPacker said...

RE: TCS games

standing O to tem... great work

i'll be out 12/26 and 12/31-1/4, not that it matters, TPS has me falling hard in the TCS rankings

BROTHER THOMAS said...

rome's riff on Britney's sister is hysterical

BROTHER THOMAS said...

200?

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