Friday, October 26, 2007

EL Padrino's Weekly Betting Guide


Rockies blue-it. Big time. Had a nice chance to take a split in that bullshit ballpark. The team with a .280 team batting avg couldn't get a fucking hit when it mattered. Now they must win all three at home. Tough to do. I must say though. Not having the DH will really hurt the Sox...also Manny will like a screaming child in Macy's during the xmas shopping season. Just lost.

If someone says it's the rox vs sox WS again I will bludgeon them with a pipe.

WWL is garbage lately, moreso than ever. I rely mostly on the fine reporting of this blog and all local news outlets. You know, LA Times, Rocky Mountain whatever, Detroit Free Press and so on.

What's this Slingbox they talk about?

Did I really need to see Matt Ryan throw up? And then they kept the cameras on him when he was about to chuck it again.....WTF.

EA was cute in that little fleece/hat combo. And it was all wet and shit.

Who's doing the NBA preview? Can I do just the Knicks? Nevermind. I don't want to go back on the Zoloft.

Hockey started last night. I think.

I guess I should publish this now. I could go on, I'll be highly ineffective at work today due to my impending trip this weekend.

Where I stand
Last week:
College 3-2
Pros 5-1
Overall: 29-28


College:
RUTGERS +7 over Wvu ($50)
RUTG are 7-1 ATS vs. a team with a winning record. RUTG are 7-2 ATS in their last 9 games overall. ANNND I feel that there are maybe 4 or 5 teams that know how to defend WVU's rushing attack. Rutgers is one of them. I'm confident they will cover this number. They might not win the football game but they will cover this number.

OREGON -2.5 over Usc ($50)
The Ducks have lost 3 in a row to the Trojans, are 10-3 ATS in thier past 13 October games and have a chance to leap into the National Title pic with a win. No to mention they are home, tough tough place to play. Hopefully they got thier mulligan out of thier system with that home loss to Cal.

MICHIGAN -24 over Minnesota ($100)
The Gophers are *Bill Walton voice*, TEERRRIIIBBLLLEEE.

I also like Hawaii -26 at home over New Mexico State and South Carolina getting 3 over the Vols. I might also take a flier on Georgia +9.5 over the Gators. I think it's too high for a SEC game at a neutral site. One more thing before I tackle the pros, you can't think Nebraska can keep it within 21 points at Austin, can you?

Pros
Philly - 1 over VIKINGS ($50)
If Minnestoa had a QB they would be scary good. For real. Philly must win this game to stay afloat in the NFC East battle royal. They'll use Dallas blueprint on stopping Peterson and McNabb will be winging the ball all over the place in that dome. Minny is 2-6 ATS in thier last 8 at home. Not good.

Houston +11.5 over Whale's Vagina ($50)
Turn tragedy into money. No way Norv Turner keeps these guys focused for what has been a distracting week. No way.

BUCS -4.5 over Jax ($100)
If Tampa stops the run early this game will be over faster than the biscuits at Warren Sapp's house. Quinn Gray looks great. Except not. So there's that going for him.

Skins +17 over PATS ($25)
You'll be saying "El Pad told me the redskins would cover". Watch. 30-17 final, with the garbage TD coming at the 3 minute mark for New England.

TEASER! (love these)

South Florida +5, Giants @ pickem, Colts +3


My suicide picks, Giants and Titans.

Soilder Field here I come.




1,007 comments:

1 – 200 of 1007   Newer›   Newest»
blue said...

Tim McCarver is an idiot...and Joe Buck is worse

Beth said...

EP, how can you not pick the UF/UGA game? And with TP there too, shame on you.

blue said...

4 "Revs" in a row...can we go for the clean sweep for the week?

Beth said...

Blue, McCarver has always been an idiot. I still remember when Deion Sanders soaked him with ice water in the Braves locker room one year. I can't stand McCarver.

Big Brother's Brother said...

5 dolla make you holla

(beth, i absolutely loved that drenching)

tem said...

ok so new stuff is up.

stats from yesterday soon.

blue said...

I honestly think that mccarver just says whatever pitch he can think of when the pitcher throws it.

More than once did Okajima throw an over the top curveball and McCarver say..."changeup"

and with Jiminez, he didn't have a clue which pitch was his slider (clue: the one that breaks) and which was his straight change (the one that goes straight)

tem said...

Zeke 148 17.56%
Blue 116 13.76%
Keith 96 11.39%
Deke 89 10.56%
El Pad 88 10.44%
tem 81 9.61%
TP 43 5.10%
Spiff 38 4.51%
Mills 37 4.39%
Tyler 34 4.03%
freak 31 3.68%
BBB 18 2.14%
WC 11 1.30%
Beth 8 0.95%
Cummy 5 0.59%
Kod 0 0.00%
Rev 0 0.00%
Lou 0 0.00%

tem said...

did the world series start?

blue said...

in regards to tem's question about daily stats. Just cut and Paste and then sort was all I was doing

tem said...

stats don't include some of me running up the score early this morning.

or beth's block.


tfb

blue said...

you know what is sad, Lou left a comment at PtP yesterday, but didn't visit LoV.

tem said...

now i just set it up and all i need to do is cut n paste in one column and then the stats will automatically calculate for me.

tem said...

lou like poon more than lov.

blue said...

that's good. I thought about building a macro, but then decided that would be too much effort.

tem said...

i just have a series of countif lines.

no macro.

macros are too much work. at least for me.

tem said...

anyway tmet.

too much excel talk.

blue said...

macrodamia nut cookies are good though

blue said...

the guy whose sister is friends with one of the gals on PtP did not write back when I axed if his sister was hot..or if he had any nekkid pics of said girl

tem said...

that sucks.

oh well, at least he knows now that his voice was heard, he should appreciate that.

blue said...

if there was a british unspeakables list, gemma atkinson would be on it

what language do they speak in Britain?

tem said...

today i heard this from commercial for a "haunted farm":


"and the kids will love getting lost in the haunted maize maze and they'll enjoy making pumpkin moonshine."

blue said...

I answer all of my PtP emails...I'm not shanoff...i like to interact with my "readers"

blue said...

i'd like to interact with some of my "subjects" too, but alas....

tem said...

is gemma sfw?

tem said...

PtP is quality stuff.

you got a site meter on that thing?

blue said...

gemma is sfw

there is a site meter on PtP...gets about 1K unique visitors a day

tem said...

a couple days ago i checked the site meter here and at shamfords.

we were down 26% from last october (because it isn't over yet).

shamford was down 28%.

sadly he still gets like 40 times for visits than we do. but i think most are cummy exiting explorer when his boss walks by and then firing it back up.

tem said...

PtP gets more than Lov.

i guess that tells us that we need more poon.

blue said...

the average "visitors" at PtP has slowly started to drop

that's ok though...I use shamhoff's site to promote my manifestos...it's read by more people.

Beth said...

"i guess that tells us that we need more poon"

Hey, I've told some of my friends about this site, but none have apparently shown up yet.

tem said...

are they literate friends?

tem said...

actually that doesn't matter.

blue said...

me may need to start another creampie war to gain some more members...who do we hate enough?

blue said...

are they hot friends?

El Padrino said...

what a great post

tem said...

yeah el pad, i just just thinking that jug did a great job today with the post.

El Padrino said...

"EP, how can you not pick the UF/UGA game? And with TP there too, shame on you."

i guess beth doesnt read my posts
i'm sad

"I might also take a flier on Georgia +9.5 over the Gators. I think it's too high for a SEC game at a neutral site."

I even bolded it

tem said...

puking matt ryan got me in trouble with fmtem, she was quite upset they showed that and blamed me for not seeing it coming.

blue said...

beth just comes here for the pictures

El Padrino said...

TP's at every gator game

tem said...

we can creampie that Pac 10 poon site. the guy that runs it is not cool.

blue said...

you should make fmtem watch "any given sunday" then, and when they get to the jamie foxx puking part...make her watch that

El Padrino said...

woman place blame like no one's business

El Padrino said...

got blinsided by a meeting

wtf

unannounced, rugged, and loud

blue said...

I got blamed once for raising interest rates...my wife asked...

why did you make the interest rates go up?

me: you mean on our credit card or just in general?

her: in general.

me: because i'm evil

tem said...

that was you?

bastard.

blue said...

CNN has breaking news...that kid that WWL did all those stories about in Georgia, who was sent to jail for getting a BJ...is being released.

tem said...

this is from last thread, but it is important:

fyi i just requested that all my paychecks come on super sized checks. like happy gilmore got.


so far my idea has not gained too much traction.

tem said...

didn't he get released like 5 months ago?

Big Brother's Brother said...

deke, may the mail be with you n'shit

blue said...

he was supposed to get released, but the state of GA kept appealing or some shit, so whilst they were appealing he had to remain incarcerated.

tem said...

well that sucks for him.

maybe they will give him $$$ for making him sit in jail so long.

Big Brother's Brother said...

he gets a free bj on release

Beth said...

"i guess beth doesnt read my posts
i'm sad...i even bolded it"

Ok, I missed it when I quickly skimmed your post initially, but in my defense it was NOT in bold.

But EP, it's just so hard to focus on your posts cause you get me all flustered.

Beth said...

"are they hot friends?"

And blue, shouldn't you ask first if they are male or female friends? :-)

blue said...

no

tem said...

blue doesn't care.


i totally forgot to check out that hotchickswithdouchebags.com thing.

El Padrino said...

"But EP, it's just so hard to focus on your posts cause you get me all flustered."

it's called Sex Panther, 50% of the time it works everytime

Beth said...

"it's called Sex Panther"

Come on EP, we both know it's Axe but you're just scared to get Tem riled up...

El Padrino said...

fuck axe

blue said...

actually it's "driven"

El Padrino said...

i support my brothers

tem said...

fuck axe indeed.

tem said...

good show el pad.

10 helmet stickers.

blue said...

I enjoy axe

blue said...

not

blue said...

there was supposed to be a borat length pause there.

Beth said...

"there was supposed to be a borat length pause there"

Also known as a Wayne and Garth length pause.

Beth said...

Tem, I remember your hatred for Axe but can't remember why. Care to refresh my memory or am I going to have to wait til TDILOVH reaches it?

blue said...

no...wayne and garth's pauses were properly timed for the "not"

borat's was much longer.

tem said...

i think that day for TDiLH will explain it all.

but since that is months away it is because their commercials are so fucking dumb.

and probably something else too.

blue said...

I think it should be because they gave that chick free tickets to the superbowl.

blue said...

and the fact that they had free tickets to give away in the first place.

tem said...

oh yeah that was the other reason.

blue has a good memory.

tem said...

fucking free superbowl tickets.

FUCK AXE.

tem said...

stats:

tem 29 38.16%
Blue 28 36.84%
El Pad 8 10.53%
Beth 8 10.53%
BBB 3 3.95%
Zeke 0 0.00%
Keith 0 0.00%
Deke 0 0.00%
TP 0 0.00%
Spiff 0 0.00%
Mills 0 0.00%
Tyler 0 0.00%
freak 0 0.00%
WC 0 0.00%
Cummy 0 0.00%
Kod 0 0.00%
Rev 0 0.00%
Lou 0 0.00%

Mills said...

I have but one piece of advice for you this weekend ELP.

Giordano's Chicago Style Pizza.

Find it. Eat It/Make love to it.

Mills said...

Blue, McCarver has always been an idiot. I still remember when Deion Sanders soaked him with ice water in the Braves locker room one year. I can't stand McCarver.
----------
You're a big man now Deion!!!

Mills said...

WC was here yesterday? When? LOVAD?

blue said...

weazy misses WC's musk

Mills said...

I answer all of my PtP emails...I'm not shanoff...i like to interact with my "readers"
--------
Shanoff emails if you have something with some hotness.

tem said...

hmm, a minor wtf.

Natalie Portman might star with Jet Li in a movie retelling "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" set in British colonial China, where Shaolin monks take in a refuge girl.

tem said...

mills would know, him and shamford are pen pals now.

blue said...

the one time i emailed him, he never wrote back.

tem said...

sigh i just got a "your welcome" email from someone in the office.

Mills said...

weazy misses WC's musk
-----
i do. he was like the lone sane, even-keeled person in here. maybe tem is, but probably not anybody else.

blue said...

WC was an elitist

Mills said...

the one time i emailed him, he never wrote back.
--------
inviting him to model for ptp was probably not a good idea in the first place.

i know it made me feel uncomfortable when you emailed me about it.

Mills said...

WC was an elitist
----------
i thought he played with top-flite?

Mills said...

see what i did there? pretty awesome huh? yeah, i thought so.

blue said...

nope

Mills said...

just trying to get my stats up.

call me ricky davis.

tem said...

i'm not really sane. any sanity you see is just a front.

El Padrino said...

TPS climbing top rope, gonna drop the elbow on my solarplex

tem said...

roll el pad, make TPS elbow the canvas!

tem said...

mills is shooting at the wrong hoop padding the rebound stats.

El Padrino said...

OHHHH

TPS hits canvas hard
I stumble up and apply cross-face chicken.....TPS is tapping!!!!

IT's OVER, IT's OVER

OH MY GOD!!!!

Mills said...

mills is shooting at the wrong hoop padding the rebound stats.
--------
very good memory.

bonus question: where did ricky davis grow up, and then attend his one year of college?

blue said...

probably Iowa

blue said...

and PtP is back

Mills said...

Grew up in Davenport, IA aka part of the "Quad Cities" 2 from Iowa, 2 from Illinois.

Attended the University of Iowa and averaged around 16 pts a game in his one season with Hawks.

Was a freshman teammate with the immortal Dean Oliver.

El Padrino said...

And NNNNNEWWWWWWW
Champion of the WWWWWORRRRRRRLLLLDDD


EL PADRINO

Mills said...

Dean Oliver was the best Highschool basketball player I ever saw. better than Kirk Heinrich.

Mills said...

ELP -- where you guys going in chitown?

Mills said...

guess what TEM? Cake time. Be back with a full report in 12 minutes. If I am not back at that time...just wait longer.

blue said...

I have a guy in one of my online classes named Jegadish...I call him Jug

blue said...

weazy doesn't get out much

Tyler said...

"also Manny will like a screaming child in Macy's during the xmas shopping season."

This made me laugh out loud. Mayne.

Mills said...

weazy doesn't get out much
--------
cake time was delayed, but bleux's comment is untrue.

for instance, last night I partook in an evening of concert last night at the new Sprint with headlining guest, Rascal Flatts. There were many more cowboy hats than I am accustomed too, but I held strong.

El Padrino said...

job accomplished then

Mills said...

They have a QuickTrip inside of the Sprint Center, where you can get your big gulps (yes, I realize that is actually a 7/11 thing, I think..) for like .89$ (ps....I was suprised to find that my keyboard does not have a cents sign...only dollar sign)

Mills said...

I would probably rather have a cents sign over ^ or ` or {}. I mean, why do I need {}, when you already give me [] and (). How many more ways do I need to bracket something?

tem said...

mills learnt something.

knowing is knowledge.

tem said...

rascal flats is OK.

who opened for them?

tem said...

.158 rev

tem said...

{ has a very specifc meaning.

you should know that.

tem said...

it is vastly different from ( and [

Mills said...

Good site to kill some time and increase your beisbol knowledge.

El Padrino said...

weazy going to Soilder Field
Bears/Lions

tem said...

mills is shooting for a top 5 on the stats today.

at least he has a goal.

Mills said...

"Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women, and Irish whiskey.
The other ten percent I'll probably waste."
- Phillies pitcher Tug McGraw, on his plans for his $75,000 salary

Mills said...

weazy going to Soilder Field
Bears/Lions
-----
i know... what else are you doing?

tem said...

el pad, congrats on winning the title.

Mills said...

{ has a very specifc meaning.
-----
for math. i don't do math on my keyboard or in word. you know?

Spaceman Spiff said...

do the red sox give gagne a WS ring? would he take pride in one?

he's not one of those guys that just sat on the bench all year, he's just not used because playing him sabotages the team.

Mills said...

do the red sox give gagne a WS ring? would he take pride in one?

he's not one of those guys that just sat on the bench all year, he's just not used because playing him sabotages the team.
-------------
why would the sox keep him on the WS roster AND NOT Wakefield.

That seems dumb. Wake can pitch in relief.

blue said...

besides Manny taking an hour to get to balls in Left field at Coors, having to sit either Ortiz or Youklis is going to hurt the Sawks

tem said...

"why would the sox keep him on the WS roster AND NOT Wakefield.

That seems dumb. Wake can pitch in relief."

that's what i said when the decision was made to leave wake off.

tem said...

who opened for rascal flats mills?

tem said...

{ has a grammar rule.

tem said...

HUNGRY

JFreak said...

Wakefield's shoulder is about to fall off.

At least that's what they gave as the reason.

tem said...

{ and this one is used in programming i think.

Spaceman Spiff said...

fuck the red sox

Spaceman Spiff said...

halloween party tonight, hope to see many sluts

Spaceman Spiff said...

weazy, no one uses cents symbol, have you ever heard anyone else complain about this. many people use the brackets just not you

blue said...

wake can't pitch at coors, so that's 3 games he has to sit out. Francona chose to use Schilling in game 2 over wake, and it worked out. There wouldn't be a point to having him on the roster if he can't play for 3 games

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

40 minutes late to work

Spaceman Spiff said...

¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢

blue said...

¢

El Padrino said...

"i know... what else are you doing?"


WTF, drinking, eating, callin in bets, wathcing college football at bars and shit

standard guy shit

El Padrino said...

oh we might check out the art museuem or go shopping






or not.

blue said...

the guy in the office next to me is having a ginormous whiteboard put up on one of his walls. It's hilarious because the maintenance guy is trying to put it up by himself and its not working too well.

El Padrino said...

i hear there is a riverboat there
you know, casino

true or false?

if so i'm hunting that sucka down

blue said...

you should go to the top of the sears tower so you can see what it's like to be in a tall building

(s)

isiah thomas said...

PAGE WAR! PAGE WAR!

blue said...

take one of those tours of the city by boat.

blue said...

I don't have a pager

CMFost said...

Wow, you guys do not pay attention, Wakefield is not on the Roster due to an injury otherwise he would be on it and Kyle Snyder would not. But WTF do you care.

isiah thomas said...

please tell me someone saw 30 Rock last night, Alec Baldwin was hysterical.

(NS)

blue said...

Wakefield is not on the roster because he can't pitch at Coors you homo...francona can blame an "injury"...but a knuckleballer having a shoulder injury is like a QB having a left toe injury...it's insignificant.

isiah thomas said...

damn cummy laid nuts on blue's chin

blue said...

how so?

CMFost said...

actually Blue if you had heard anything about Wakefields press conference he said that if he continued pitching it could of ended his career plus the Red Sox do not need Wakefield to win this series. Dice-K and Jon Lester will finish this off over the weekend and if they don't Beckett will on Monday

blue said...

"it would have ended his career" my ass...the truth is Francona wasn't comfortable throwing him in game 2...so there wasn't a spot for him on the roster.

Big Brother's Brother said...

com'on Creeeig

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"deke, may the mail be with you n'shit"


Boo USPS

Hooray Yoda.

isiah thomas said...

I finally peeped game on some preseason hoops last night, it felt good.

Big Brother's Brother said...

conspiracy theory up in this bitch. see Cummy, we pay attention to the stuff that aint paid attention to.


knowwhatimsayin? u down? U DOWN?? or are u five-O?

CMFost said...

believe what you want Blue but he is injured he missed most of September and the first round of the playoffs. Your just mad because the Rockies are shitting the bed.

Nice job by Holliday staying awake on first base yesterday

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

EP, The Office? Yes or no?

Big Brother's Brother said...

40 minutes less to kick the shit outta packages.. sucks.

Spaceman Spiff said...

if the red sox win the WS, you will still just be cummy, cummy

El Padrino said...

Deke....

I dvr'd it, peep it tonight

BC game
World Series
Air force game

no chance i was wathcing network tv over 3 live sporting events

isiah thomas said...

cummy is defecating on blue

El Padrino said...

weazy we might play hopscotch and jump rope as well

wtf

Big Brother's Brother said...

randy moss signed with the Pats

CMFost said...

Spaceman Spiff said...

if the red sox win the WS, you will still just be cummy, cummy




So What is your point?


The Red Sox win great, call me what ever you want it does not really bother me.

Big Brother's Brother said...

get blew a dental 'raincoat' so it dont get in the mouf.

its a respek thang.

Big Brother's Brother said...

Cummy is defiant to the last breff!


GO SAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111

Tyler said...

So I tried to see this play the last time I was in NYC, but it closed the week before I was there. It's now in L.A. It's called Point Break Live! They pull an audience member up from the crowd to play Keanu and make him read cue cards. I've heard it's awesome. Can't wait to get tickets.

blue said...

what do you expect from cummy anyway...he blindly believes everything he sees.

he's perfect for shammy...he's also believes in the ass fairy, and BIO

blue said...

cumfast, do you think that BIO is a real person?

cummy who has a faster 40 time, you or Teej?

If shanoff was to choose one of your orifices to penetrate, which would be your choice....AND WHY?

isiah thomas said...

let's hope cummy didn't eat corn last night.

CMFost said...

No Blue, I am just smart enough not to look for a conspiracy theory in everything I see or read.

Spaceman Spiff said...

blue, its the buttfuck fairy

blue said...

I bet you believed Michael Vick too...and OJ? What about Britney Spears.

People tell you what they want you to hear...if you haven't learnt this yet, maybe santa will bring you common sense.

blue said...

my apologies...the buttfuck fairy

Big Brother's Brother said...

T, sit close and on an aisle.

Bloo, dont u dare talk about the ass fairy like that. now youre just being mean.

CMFost said...

cumfast, do you think that BIO is a real person?

I could care less

cummy who has a faster 40 time, you or Teej?

Probably teej, I more of a long distance runner and I tend to take my time to do things right.

If shanoff was to choose one of your orifices to penetrate, which would be your choice....AND WHY?

None, Since your are his #1 Fan he to busy pentrating any orifice of yours he wants to.

isiah thomas said...

*****NEW BIO******

he made pizza

blue said...

Hey cumfast...have you found those Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq yet.

but Bush told us they were there, he wouldn't lie about it...

do I need to go on?

isiah thomas said...

advantage : cummy

isiah thomas said...

ZE SLAPPER!


*Friday edition too, niiiiice

blue said...

re: #1 Fan...obviously cumfast does not understand sarcasm...eat some more chowdah and braig about ya wicked cool sneakahs too

CMFost said...

Wow, wrong place to go, as a life long democrat I would not believe that Bush just took a shit even if I saw him coming out of the stall.

isiah thomas said...

cummy's blog is usually dedicated to the dem's....

30 Rock or The Office took a shot at Howard Dean last night, it was funny, can't remember which show though.

CMFost said...

see I have from the suburbs of Boston and only people from southie talk like that.

Big Brother's Brother said...

if you heard clicking in the stall, it was prolly him toe-tapping.

blue said...

I have a feeling that weazy and cumfast would be friends in real life...they'd brush each other's hair and play with their my little ponies

cumfast: my favorite is the starlight pony

weazy: starlight is gay, I like the purple pony, her hair is the best to braid.

cumfast: oh weazy, you're right, sex me now.

isiah thomas said...

give me a break....give me a break...break me off a piece of that....

?

Spaceman Spiff said...

cummy, if the red sox win, will you celebrate by putting on a strap-on and doing your 'wife', or will it just be the usual, your 'wife' gagging you with her cock.

Big Brother's Brother said...

cummy grew up in money, no streetz in him

isiah thomas said...

blue how close is Westminster to Denver?

Spaceman Spiff said...

byaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

blue said...

but you said you don't look for consipiracy theories in anything...everyone speaks the truth.

ESPN told me that El Retardo was funny...so I believe them

Big Brother's Brother said...

{kitkatbar}

CMFost said...

Blue are you talking about what you and weazy did last night since that comment sounds like it comes from experience.

Tyler said...

BIO has been very disappointing lately. He hasn't brought his A-game for the last couple of posts.

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"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino