Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Poon is a great word.

Really the title says it all. Poon is just an awesome word. It lends itself well to having endings added on (like poontastic, poonish, poon fever) and it pretty much can go anywhere in a sentence. So three cheers to poon, one of the greatest words of all time.

Random Poon Note 1: I think my ESPN the magazine has at least 100 McDonald's "dollar menuaire" ads. Really, I don't think being a dollar menuaire is going to help me do anything other than die sooner, so I'll pass. Don't get me wrong, double cheeseburgers for $1 are fucking awesome, but if the lady behind the counter starts to recognize you, well you go there way too much.

So before I start talking about football let me talk about Greg Oden. Knee surgery. Minor WTF. I guess it is just minor knee surgery but any kind of cutting on a 40 year old's knees is not good. Blazers fans should be poonishly worried.

Random Poon Note 2: My softball team plays at 9:20pm and then again at 10:10pm tomorrow. WTF is with the late start? There is a 0% chance that I will be sober come game time. The field is down by my work, so I ain't driving all the way home just to turn around. I'm gonna drink down here. Hopefully someone has a kick ass happy hour with some good food to keep me vertical.

This is the time of year when I totally forget what is going on in baseball. Sportscenter doesn't help because they hype shit that ain't real. They pretend the Mets are in a close race. Are they? I thought they were like 6 games up. The season has to be ending soon. For the love of poon, I just want Sportscenter to kick out some facts and move on.

Now football time: As everyone knows the Colts looked great this week. That shouldn't surprise many, when you have a good veteran QB your team has a great chance to start out the season like gangbusters. It doesn't hurt that their defense apparently doesn't suck. Pats looked great too at least after halftime. I won't talk much about them because elretardo is sure to. Chargers looked OK against a tough Bears D, the AFC is going to be awesome this year. It's the equivalent of the Western Conference in basketball. I never thought I'd see it in the NFL, but one conference is clearly vastly superior to the other. Of course this means the NFC wins the Super Bowl. Anyway, nothing beats football, well maybe poon, but other than that football is tops and I am all pooned up for the season.


OK well I am done typing. The people who pay me want me to do some pooneriffic work. Have at it bee snatches.

520 comments:

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blue said...

great tem-diary of the early game last night tem

ToddPacker said...

yeah, good LoVad

ToddPacker said...

blue what happened to the rockies last night.... they need to be beating the phils

tem said...

lov ad was solid.

TC talks too little.

ToddPacker said...

fitzgerald crapped the bed last night.... i lost my money league because of him... and benching lamont

blue said...

the rockies bullpen blew up...sometimes I hate the bullpen...why don't they still have those little cars that were shaped like helmets...maybe that is why relief pitchers suck nowadays, it's a long walk

ToddPacker said...

i didn't watch any of the 1st game last night.... mets/braves instead

blue said...

wtf is with yahoo! and even lines...aren't almost all spreads .5 that way there aren't any ties?

ToddPacker said...

those golf cart/helmets were great

tem said...

they need to bring back the cart for sure blue. that walk takes the poon out of you.

tem said...

meiz and I had an epic battle in the espn league.

ToddPacker said...

poonrific post, tem

blue said...

the post was poontastic

blue said...

i'm glad Jug made up the word poon

ToddPacker said...

"meiz and I had an epic battle in the espn league"


who won?

blue said...

how long is eli out? This fucks me over in my money league, I think

El Padrino said...

they say maybe one start, mort says a month

El Padrino said...

today sucks

fuck you al qaeda

El Padrino said...

if they had poon on a regular basis maybe they wouldnt be so hostile

blue said...

I guess I hang my hopes on Matt Shaub

blue said...

everybody in NY has today off don't they?

tem said...

i won 92-90.

El Padrino said...

not that i know of
alot of people take off though

i am off, but i've been off since last week, go back thursday

blue said...

so, with the exact same picks, only slightly different lines, I won 12 games in elretardo's pick'em league, and only 9 in Yahoo!...yahoo! is gay

tem said...

it was 90-90 then fitz caught a 12 yarder which got me 2pts.


then the niners didn't give it to gore on the GL at the end.

blue said...

gore is weak

blue said...

i'm in 1000th-ish place in elretardo's league.

the front page rankings on that thing are all whacked out.

blue said...

ESPN's pick'em needs a poon-directory, or some how you can look up poon teamnames

blue said...

what's the deal with today? did something happen today in history?

tem said...

yeah blue, it is one day after kevin everett's injury.

tem said...

err i mean 2 days.

blue said...

oh...i thought today was the 10th anniversary of Mike Utley's injury

blue said...

fyi...i'm not going to call players pussies when they don't play because of turf toe.

I have it and it fucking sucks

tem said...

we apparently just hired a smoking hot consultant. i must poonvestigate.

blue said...

you don't realize how much weight and pressure you put on your toes until they are injured.

tem said...

what turf did you get said toe on?

tem said...

i can't bend my left big toe. i seem to get by fine without bending it.

El Padrino said...

pussy

El Padrino said...

knight rider is awesome

tem said...

knight rider never had turf toe.

blue said...

"what turf did you get said toe on?"

I have no idea how I injured it. The doctor laughs at me. I'm telling everyone at work it's from a football injury in a pickup game over the weekend.

I think it's probably truely from poon-hunting

El Padrino said...

i took nebraska +10.5

it's in lincoln, wanted to get that half a point

worth a shot

blue said...

hahahaha

corbin's football team scored the second least amount of points....not quite like baseball is it corby.

I think his team in our keeper league got beat too

blue said...

nebraska looked shaky against Wake....but being at home will help them.

USC didn't look good against Idaho though either

tem said...

yeah whoever scored the least amount of poons in yahoo! has a poon damn terrible team.

blue said...

that last place yahoo! team needs some poonerific help

tem said...

yeah the poon cat who owns that team is in trouble.

blue said...

well, at least he's getting his poon worth out of the team.

blue said...

poon is like smurf


the smurfs always replaced words with smurf....poon is an effective replacement for words.

blue said...

smurfette was poonalicious

tem said...

poonette was smurfalicious as well.

tem said...

I bet they were going to name them The Poons instead of The Smurfs.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I hate you Tem.

And Jug

tem said...

you should hate Nolan.

if he gives that last carry to Gore you win.

blue said...

meiz hates jug, but loves poon

blue said...

i'm going to root against coaches wearing suits all season.

so far the suits are 1-1. I believe that is the full reason that jacksonville lost to Tenn. not because of vince young, but because Del Rio wore a suit.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I do love poon.

blue said...

pac-10 poon has more poon today...

tem said...

suits can't go > .500.

tem said...

sometimes quanity is nice.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I lost my fantasy matchups by 2 & 2.5

I'm less than happy with Billick & Nolan.

tem said...

if you have willis you should have won by 10.

blue said...

can you see the pictures on Pac-10 poon?

tem said...

no blue, when i looked they were not showing.

tem said...

it was a disapoonment.

tem said...

too bad beth is missing this. we are sticking poon everyhwere, that's her kind of day.

blue said...

this is a poon-tastrophe.

i'm fixing it now

blue said...

ok. now the pictures should be there. I added a bonus picture

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

just right-click where the pic goes and select view image

blue said...

"too bad beth is missing this. we are sticking poon everyhwere, that's her kind of day."

she calls those days "tuesday"

Beth said...

What's that??? Did someone throw out the Beth Poon Signal? :-)

blue said...

BPS works every time

Beth said...

BPS > TPS.

tem said...

poon signal is nice.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I love boobs

tem said...

female ref poon is nice too

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Pac10 poon got its first ever comment.

Spaceman Spiff said...

leinart and davis co-MVPoons for champ-yun last night

JFreak said...

"I love boobs"

Beth said...

"female ref poon is nice too"

I agree, slutty looking but nice. :-) But what exactly makes it pac10 poon other than blue saying it is? In SECpoon I think all the poon is clearly SEC marked.

blue said...

there's a guy in the background wearing a university of washington football pants.

SECpoon had a bunch of random pictures before of just boobs wearing "colors" but that didn't mean they were SEC boobs

blue said...

no team affiliations

and i'm not sure that poon even makes me interested

Beth said...

Ok, I agree with you on the Garden of SEC Poon pic blue, I was disappointed in that one too.

tem said...

this is a poonerama.

tem said...

now i am POONGRY.

Beth said...

You think one of the attorneys here would notice if when I typed his next letter I had him sign it "poonfully yours"?

isiah thomas said...

Never Forget.

isiah thomas said...

Beazy don't make jokes about 9/11 you fucking douchebag.

blue said...

somebody needs to get the poon stick out of his ass

Spaceman Spiff said...

vladdy daddy is back zeke

isiah thomas said...

just try to have a little respect that's all.......

ToddPacker said...

is this officially the poon era?

ToddPacker said...

"vladdy daddy"

funny

isiah thomas said...

for as schloppy as those games were yesterday, they had good endings.

isiah thomas said...

thanks for the update spiffg, I'll put him back in the chonies lineup.

Spaceman Spiff said...

weazy, its the 5th place game, you want to win so much that youll pick up mussina?

Spaceman Spiff said...

he's been awful

blue said...

I can't believe the Yanks are letting mussina get the start even

Spaceman Spiff said...

jessica's headlights are on

simpson not alba

Beth said...

Poonness.

blue said...

ah good one Beth

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

LoV AD kicks regular LoV's ass.

tem said...

that is because LOV AD has alcohol.

and Kod. Who has been missing lately. Someone check the missing poonsons reports for Kod.

tem said...

show me some biel headlights.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

boooooorrrrring. boooooooooring.

tem said...

also lesson number 14832 of the office: never ever ever go into the men's restroom immediately after the seriously fat IT guy exits the place.

blue said...

biel headlights are a thing to behold..that's some poon for ya

tem said...

meiz wants a little more talk and a lot more action.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I want porn.

blue said...

did IT guy poonerize the bathroom?

blue said...

I liked your pac10 poon comment Deke.

isiah thomas said...

American PG starting for Russia

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Me too.

tem said...

he did something to the bathroom. i had to go use another bathroom.

blue said...

Basketball Jesus is pissed

this kid was all kinds of stupid

blue said...

I will now attempt to read TMQ..see you guys tomorrow

tem said...

sounds like he sucked anyway.

tem said...

not enough poon in TMQ.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm gonna "read" TMQ also.

JFreak said...

"Somehow, I do not want to contemplate a burning, yearning Hillary Clinton."

tem said...

i can only skim TMQ now. I used to be able to read the whole thing, but not any more.

tem said...

i want to contemplate poon.

Spaceman Spiff said...

with an LOV like today you might actually have to read the whole thing

tem said...

TMQ's challenge is to name the universe.

the answer seems obvious. Poonville.

tem said...

actually when there is only 1 of something, why the fuck do you need to name it?

tem said...

take the catholic God. there is only 1 of him. They don't call him Fred or anything, they just say God and since there is only one (to them) everyone knows what the fuck they are talking about.

TMQ is poontarted.

Spaceman Spiff said...

nvm reading the whole thing word for word, impossible, first question for TMQ chat

-easterbrook, are you a virgin ?

tem said...

no names needed when there is only 1.

put that in haiku form and email it to TMQ. He'll jizz in his pants.

tem said...

put it in haiku form spiff or he can't read it.

tem said...

TMQ on the BS report would cause listeners to die.

Spaceman Spiff said...

easterbrook are you
a virgin or have you had
tasty wet poon pie?

tem said...

spiff is a poetic genius.

blue said...

" If spreading were in itself a good idea, all five offensive linemen wouldn't always be together."

I thought there was a rule as to how wide offensive lineman can have their splits?

ToddPacker said...

meiz has a good point LoVad > regular LoV lately

Spaceman Spiff said...

baltimore why the
fuck did you sign willie emm
if not to pound rock

tem said...

its the LoV AD era.

Spaceman Spiff said...

beth was a slave yes
kod likes stick meat in man ass
el-oh-vees fucked up

tem said...

poetry day at the appollo.

ToddPacker said...

was that a poon-ku

tem said...

Charlie Frye to Seattle?

wtf

isiah thomas said...

What's up with Greg Oden? Knee surgery now?

ToddPacker said...

he's pretty old

tem said...

yeah knee surgery for oden. blazers fan should be poonishly worried.

isiah thomas said...

Shammy nugget du jour:

but the real story was Cincinnati's defense, which racked up 6 takeaways. A consistently great D combined with that explosive offense makes the Bengals an early Team to Watch.

tem said...

those were not take aways. they were give aways by the ravens O.

good lookin' out shamford.

blue said...

finished..in just under an hour

Spaceman Spiff said...

wtf,

ravens basically decided to lose that game by not running it all game, even after 6 TO's, if they run it at the goal line that last series, they win guaranteed.

tem said...

ravens = dumb.

Tyler said...

Awesome day already today. I've had three people come into my office with changes to "finished" projects that they knew about while we were working on each project. And they've been testing the fire alarm. It's gone off three times already and it's loud as shit. And it's not even 11am. Gotdamn this place.

blue said...

So TMQ isn't going to write "one thing" about every game each week. Because it's his hobby. But he thinks we all want to read about the fucking universe and detective tv shows?

isiah thomas said...

more warm goodness from the Shamster:

Reminder: There's no shame in winning the week with the lowest point total in your league.

I guess he doesn't even watch his own fantasy teams either.

blue said...

tyler is having a poon day

blue said...

how can you win a week if you have the overall lowest point total? Doesn't somebody have to have a lower total?

blue said...

DS does not like the poon

tem said...

I guess Shamford meant lowest among the winners in a head to head.

ToddPacker said...

maybe he meant 2nd lowest point total

tem said...

tyler tell them fucks to poon up and get their heads outta the poon and start doing some pooning good work, for poon's sake.

blue said...

he could have said "I scored fewer points than most teams who lost, but thanks to my matchup...1-0 still means 1-0"

Spaceman Spiff said...

if tyler gets poon tonight, itll all be ok

blue said...

Zeke mentioned it earlier, but the Browns just traded their "starting QB" to seattle

I guess Mrs. Quinn's time is upon us.

blue said...

Romeo Crennel couldn't stand all the poon the reporters were giving him for last weeks poonny performance

Spaceman Spiff said...

zeke, it cant feel good to know that shammy was all over vernon davis in his fantasy drafts

blue said...

I called out Vernon Davis before the draft last year. If dude was worth his weight in poon he would have been a stud and everyone know who he was before the combine.

blue said...

shammy is all pole and no poon

ToddPacker said...

college gameday will be in nebraska this week... i though for sure they would be in gainesville, but i guess 1 v 14 is better than 5 v 22

ToddPacker said...

i would reverse that blue

tem said...

anderson will start at first, then quinn.

ToddPacker said...

i really did poorly in the pick'ems last week

ToddPacker said...

did i beat ep in both leagues?

tem said...

panda dick all stars had a good showing. i was proud of them. they really came together and picked some good games.

ToddPacker said...

i guees so.... 2-0 vs bagz, inc

tem said...

sometimes it takes all star teams some time to gel, but not the panda dicks. they gelled right off the bat.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Spiff's a good haiku-er because he's partly Asian.

ToddPacker said...

i was 7/20 in ncaa and 7/16 in nfl.... not good

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

and lots of youse won't say god damn.

It entertains me.

ToddPacker said...

god damn

ToddPacker said...

nice use of "youse", meiz

tem said...

poon damn.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Those are just observations of the day.

ToddPacker said...

"poon damn"


is that like a dental dam

tem said...

it's like a diaphragm

Mills said...

weazy, its the 5th place game, you want to win so much that youll pick up mussina?
----------
no. i just was pissed at some of by dudes, so i dropped 'em.

tem said...

that'll learn 'em.

tem said...

seems like a good day for skittles betting.


O/U for yellow plus green is set at 22.5.

blue said...

you should send them an e-mail

Dear Brad Thompson,
You're performance over the last month has left me no choice. I'm going to have to cut you from my fantasy team. It was a tough decision, but one that had to be made. I wish you luck in future baseball fantasy teams.

Regards,
Weazy

blue said...

i'm feeling the over, because OU is green and yellow and they scored a lot of points against Michigan

tem said...

8 purple

tem said...

13 orange

Spaceman Spiff said...

broxton has shit the bed badly lately, diarrhea style

tem said...

16 red

tem said...

10 green and 12 yellow.

under wins.

tem said...

that was all kinds of poon.

keith s said...

Damn, I hate missing the Skittles challenge

tem said...

keith you would have won for sure.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Tem is an awesome Skilttles handicapper.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

*Skittles

keith s said...

Gottamn it!!

tem said...

i know skittles.

tem said...

time to put 22 skittles in my mouth at once.

tem said...

pooness 2.

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