Friday, September 28, 2007

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Column

Reflections of a de-generate...........

Take the Bye over the Saints this weekend, lay the 3 points.

Looks like Carr will be the guy vs Tampa, get the shovel out.

Kenny Watson getting the start in Cincy on Monday night, it's elementary.

The Blue Powder strikes again, also just in - RB Ian Johnson proposes to his fiance again. She said yes.

Wilfork got a fine, got pissed and ate a whole hog.

Be careful Winslow owners....he says he's a go but Doctor's say otherwise at the moment.

Where I stand.

Last week : 4-8
College: 1-2
Pros: 1-3
Parlay: 0-1
Tease: 1-1
Suicide: 2-0
Overall: 8-13 ( I don't count the suicide picks)

College:

SO. CAROLINA -14 over Miss St. ($50)
Click Clack.

Cal +6 over OREGON ($50)
Outside of last year the previous 3 meetings have been decided by 7, 1 & 4. So I'll grab the TD without the extra point in hopes of Cal straight up beating the Ducks. It will be touch though. Those Ducks can fly.

Alabama -3 over FSU ($50)
Big test for Saban's squad. Learning to beat teams you are better than in their own building is a big jump for this team. Wilson has been throwing well and his favorite target D.J Hall is a primetime player.

Pros:

Kansas City +14 over WHALE'S VAGINA ($100)
That's a whole lot of points to be giving. Espeacially when you are 1-2. The higest point differential in this series was KC winning by 13 in 2005. Other than that SD won last year by 11 at home. Pass defense of SD is not exactly good right now so I think Huard can get some yeardage and hopefully some scores out of his anemic unit. Herm call a pass play you punk.

Seattle -2 over SAN FRAN ($50)
Seahawks must have some revenge on their mind have losing 2 games to San Fran last year. SA is banged up but that passing game seems to be coming around for Seattle and with Vernon Davis out I figure Lofa has some free reign on harrassing Smith into some mistakes. Look for a tight game until the 4 minute mark in the 4th quarter.

CLEVELAND +5 over Baltimore ($50)
Baltimore has choked away leads in the past two games......at home! Jamal Lewis with an axe to grind. Baltimore nearly went down last year at the Dogg Pound, 15-14. I remember that cuz I had the Ravens in a knockout pool. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice.........

Green Bay -3 over MINNESOTA ($50)
Pack keep on rollin'. A.J Hawk vs Adrian "All Day" Peterson. Forget those dome stats as Farve has gone 3 out 4 the past 4 years.



Just teasing (4 teams, 12 points):
Pack +9
Seattle +10
Colts even or pick em'


Parlay ($50 to bring back $300):
Bama -3, Over 40 points in the SD/KC game, Pack -3


Suicide Picks : Chargers / Steelers

Good Luck. Hi Bill.

687 comments:

1 – 200 of 687   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

I need to relieve some stress. I may head to the Hustler club tonight and make it rain.

ToddPacker said...

do it, ep.... make is rain

Lou said...

I'm sooooo fucking hung over.




just saying

ToddPacker said...

the 'bama/fsu game is not a home game for fsu... the game is in jax.... i bet there will be more 'bama fans than fsu fans there... and for the record i think fsu to win the game

blue said...

John Parker Wilson is the QB for Bama, not Dick...he's the QB at Arkansas

El Padrino said...

i changed my mind on it a couple of times tp, it's a tough call

blue said...

the mets have EP off his game

El Padrino said...

correct, I blame the mets bullpen for that oversight

blue said...

I wish somebody would beat the padres or the phillies so the Rockies can at least say they were tied for the WC before they blow this thing

tem said...

i wish i weren't so busy.

blue said...

I wish that too teminator...i miss your musk

El Padrino said...

I wish

you had

more time.

El Padrino said...

i'm kimd of in the mood for Man on Fire right now.

El Padrino said...

tp you dont have it nearly as bad bro, you dont live here

this is pain

blue said...

i'm working on getting tickets to the game tomorrow night. might be the only time in my lifetime that the rockies have a legit shot at the playoffs.

blue said...

Rev wanting to bet on the NL East championship is funny now.

ToddPacker said...

i hear ya, ep.... i still have lots of friends from the ny area and some that still live there... most of the bastards are yankee fans.... i got 4 phone calls and 6 emails making fun of the mets last night... i got a buddy coming in from ny tonight for the auburn game, he's a huge yankee fan, so i'll being hearing crap all weekend

Beth said...

So Blue, don't you have a b-day on Sunday? Are the tickets an early b-day present to yourself?

blue said...

yes, my birthday is sunday...the tickets wouldn't be a birthday present, my wife always tries to do something sneaky or whatever...i just play along...like I don't know it's my birthday

El Padrino said...

i wonder what willie would do if someone punched his wife in the face while he was standing there

ToddPacker said...

Willie's response:

well ya know, her face was in the way and what can you do, if she can't move her face then we just gotta keep getting punched.... excuse me it's time for my nap

El Padrino said...

TP that was pulitzer prize material

you are getting funnier with age.

well done.

ToddPacker said...

if/when the mets complete the choke, i'm ready for the randolph era to end

El Padrino said...

dont hold your breath

ToddPacker said...

so... a full day of tailgating(auburn game is at 8:00 pm) + the mets choking might = alcohol poisoning for me tomorrow

blue said...

imagine if the gay-tors lost too

Beth said...

TP & EP, I'm curious. Trying to set aside the emotions, what's your gut feelings on the Mets? Do they pull it out and squeak into the playoffs or does the slide continue all the way down and out?

(ns)

blue said...

I know beth didn't axe me, but...i think if the mets fall a game behind, it's over.

blue said...

tonight is a gut check game, if they win tonight against the fish, then they have a shot.

and they have to hope the Nats continue to play well agains the phils

ToddPacker said...

before last night i was pretty sure that they would still squeak into the playoffs, but after watching the game last night it was like dead man walking... now all i know is that if they win out (hahahhahahaha) they can still force a 1-game playoff with the phils

Big Brother's Brother said...

FYI, i'll be out next week, so someone else needs to copy and paste Wednesday's post.

i nominate beth to come up with something.

ToddPacker said...

"imagine if the gators lost too"


that's not even funny, blue... if that happens the dog is d e a d

ToddPacker said...

and yeah... i corrected blue's spelting of gators

El Padrino said...

They make the playoffs.

El Padrino said...

btw i rambled and typed this in repsonse to beth's question then erased it (copied it first) and just wrote "they will make the playoffs". Obviously I am a mess right now:


Beth I keep hearing that this happened to the 03 white sox and the 06 cardinals but I cant remember a time where i've watched the mets and not known what to expect.

I mean what's the right answer here? I have to beleive they can pull it out. But the way it's gone it seems as if they will fail. Is this a time where the fans count? Do we show up at shea tonight and cheer from start to finish or do we boo the minute something bad happens?

ToddPacker said...

"They make the playoffs"


i like the sound of that

ToddPacker said...

i2i with ep

ToddPacker said...

"Obviously I am a mess right now"


me too, i've already messed up some tps today and i'm sick to my stomach today.... bad combo of mets and chinese food last night

ToddPacker said...

the office was some nice comic relief after the mets game.... i rewound the part when michael hit meredith about 10 times

blue said...

Griese or Leinart this week?

ToddPacker said...

vacation, bbb?

El Padrino said...

I signed off on something this am that went bad. Operation damage control in full effect.

blue said...

office was pretty funny last night

El Padrino said...

"i nominate beth to come up with something."

beth perfect opportunity to show off those tits of yours

blue said...

or ass

El Padrino said...

Ass would do.

tem said...

look at my yahoo! team for football. it is shitty times 100.

blue said...

new PTP

blue said...

let me know if that pac10poon picture sucks, because if it does, I may have to find some "bonus" posts for the weekend

Beth said...

"beth perfect opportunity to show off those tits of yours"
"or ass"

What the hell, if you don't mind a CLOTHED pic of one of those areas that does NOT show my face, I'll do it. Of course that means you'll have to trust me that it really is me, but it will be.

(ns)

blue said...

where did the righteous indignation come from?

Beth said...

Blue, no surprise but I like the PTP picture. :-)

blue said...

and, I have no idea if i used that in the correct context

Beth said...

"righteous indignation"

You mean me? If so, I'm just a cautious gal.

El Padrino said...

Beth:

Fine. Just make sure the clothes are white and wet.

Thanks in advance for your assistance.

Beth said...

"and, I have no idea if i used that in the correct context"

I don't think you did.

El Padrino said...

where's the link blew

tem said...

so next wednesday is pics of beth's body without her head?

Beth said...

Now I'm having second thoughts, I've seen how brutal y'all can be about celeb's who don't have 100% perfect bodies. Maybe we can get a pic of one of you guys bodies first. :-)

blue said...

pac 10 poon

blue said...

we're much less harsh on "real" people.

celebrities have nothing to do but hire personal trainers and work out all day

Beth said...

But if I do such a post, I'll be setting women's rights back and contributing to the objectifying of women...

(s)

El Padrino said...

beth are you saying you want a pic of my bulge?

El Padrino said...

i just took a cell shot of my bicep

do you want it?

NS

blue said...

please send your bicep picture to Kod...he appreciates your business

Beth said...

Yeah EP, I want to see your bicep.

(ns)

But I don't need to see your "bulge", I can see guys with guts anytime I walk around Atlanta... :-)

blue said...

ohhhh burn

Nails said...

alright, this pic will bring one team good luck.

LET'S GO METS!!!!1111111!!!!1!1!!!!

OR

WHY NOT US!?!?!?!?!?!11?!11/!!!?1?!

and this song will be dedicated to the losing team and their fans.

blue said...

hilarity ensues

El Padrino said...

your definiton of bulge is not accurate

El Padrino said...

My Bicep

ToddPacker said...

zeke is going to be touble today

Beth said...

EP, if you send me a pic of the bulge I know you're thinking of, then when I post my boob shot I get to pad my bra like you'll have stuffed socks in your pants. :-)

Spaceman Spiff said...

im not fat

Beth said...

Nice bicep EP, you obviously jack off with your right hand.
:-)

Spaceman Spiff said...

i though EP wore suits, is it casual friday

El Padrino said...

causal friday it is

El Padrino said...

actually my left is the whore
you can tell by the forearms not biceps

Spaceman Spiff said...

if its gonna be a well clothed body part, i vote for the bottom half in some tight pants, but it doesnt matter as beth and i will be meeting up for tea and krumpets on saturday

Nails said...

I'll be out for most of the morning, you're lucky.

El Padrino said...

i would never stuff my undies

Nails said...

do Met(s) fans really want their team in the playoffs? The way they're playing they'll get their fucking teeth kicked in. And don't say anything about the Cards last season and how they played down the stretch.

Spaceman Spiff said...

tea and krumpets = slap and pickle

El Padrino said...

anything can happen in the playoffs
if we went by that the yankees would win every year, except for last year, tigers should be champs

Beth said...

I'll work on choosing a couple pics between now and Wednesday a.m. Of course they have to be flattering :-) and not too exposing but also not too hidden or I know I'll catch hell for that.

Spaceman Spiff said...

most brutal finish for the mets would be to lose the possible 1 game playoff with the phillies

blue said...

a poll has been posted on LoF to determine what beth should us a picture of

Spaceman Spiff said...

B-E-T-H

Beth Beth Beth

Nails said...

beth we've already seen your face, a full bikini shot will work.

Nails said...

B-E-T-H

Beth Beth Beth

ditto

El Padrino said...

I just hit the polls

Beth said...

Guys are soooo predictable. :-)

Spaceman Spiff said...

tulowitzki for NL rookie of the year, cuz he can field too

El Padrino said...

If you could bend over to the fron and touch your toes that'd be ideal.

YEAHHH!!!!!!!!

Beth said...

EP, you do know I weigh about 300, right?

(s)

El Padrino said...

Fat girls need love too.

El Padrino said...

no 300 pounder can run X amount of miles you said you ran that one time

Beth said...

But a fat girl could eat 6 Krispy Kremes at once...

blue said...

"tulowitzki for NL rookie of the year, cuz he can field too"

the kid is a hell of a shortstop...not the same offensive numbers as Braun, but he's made about 3 or 4 huge plays this last week.

El Padrino said...

fluke

kobyashi is 150, he eats 53 hot dogs

blue said...

now is the 6 KK in one sitting, or all at once in your mouth...because the latter would be kind of impressive.

Big Brother's Brother said...

elizbethany, youre welcome.

Tyler said...

I went to the Dodgers game last night. Someone was a last minute scratch and I got the call up. Anyway, Tulowitzki blew a tough grounder in the first (I thought it could have been an error) but then he had a sick play later on and then another one in the 7th or 8th. He's pretty impressive.

Beth said...

Sorry blue, it's just in 1 sitting, and that was probably over 20 minutes or so (Kobyashi I'm not).

El Padrino said...

"Mom pulls off pants, baby #9 hits car floor"

ok

Beth said...

BBB, aren't you the one who's supposed to be thanking me?

El Padrino said...

maybe she had a gaping garage hole too?

Spaceman Spiff said...

tulowitzki has the best fielding percentage for SS in the NL, Braun has the worst for 3B, the only guy under 90%

Tyler said...

When it was still somewhat close and the Dodgers had two guys on, the Rockies brought in three pitchers in a row and they each got an out. Looking at the box score there were three holds. It was annoying though because that inning took forever.

Nails said...

Deke's going to blow his top when he reads these Tulowitski/ROY comments.

why bait the kid?

Nails said...

if the Met(s) can't win these playoff games no way they win one in the real playoffs.

it's over.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Fuck the Brew Crew.

5 fucking errors?

3 from Brauntosaurus' leaden glove.

Nails said...

Wes Anderson's short film Hotel Chevalier was released on iTunes earlier this week for free, but since iTunes doesn't work for everybody, now Google Video has the entire thing up also. The short stars Jason Schwartzman and Natalie Portman or, more specifically, Natalie Portman's naked butt.

blue said...

2 months ago Braun was a lock, with the way Tulo has played both offensively and defensively the last 2 months, he's gotten back into the discussion.

Big Brother's Brother said...

beth, "youre welcome" cause i know you enjoy being an attention whore.

and we love you for it. winwin. :)

Big Brother's Brother said...

plus, i aint even gonna be hurr..

Nails said...

I'd like to give a 3rd place vote to Chris Young of the D Bags.

he's 4 SB's short of 30/30.

ToddPacker said...

if he's gonna start being refered to as tulo, he doesn't deserve anything except a beating

blue said...

he'll get some votes too, of course he's hitting like .240

Nails said...

that's why I gave him a 3rd place vote

blue said...

what's that TP...i can't hear you on account of all the winning

Nails said...

Shamhoff is now rooting for the "rox"......

I'd be pissed if I was you bleu.

blue said...

to go back to a comment that "nails" made last night...at what point do you drop the "y" at the end of your name...this goes for the 35 year old jennys and timmys

blue said...

"Shamhoff is now rooting for the "rox"......"

what do you expect, he always gets on the bandwagon as soon as it fills up.

Nails said...

"If you were giving the scholarship to an intellectually brilliant kid who happens to play a sport, that's fine," Dowling said. "But they give it to a functional illiterate who can't read a cereal box, and then make him spend 50 hours a week on physical skills. That's not opportunity. If you want to give financial help to minorities, go find the ones who are at the library after school."


re: Rutgers trying to go big time with ath-a-let-ics.

This is some engrish professor. And of course the AD is crying racism.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Blue, the new picture sooo does not suck.

Put more up anyway.

Nails said...

Boise St. had a Tad.

I say that by age 13, all Tad's and -y's need to change their names.

Big Brother's Brother said...

negro pleeeeeeeeeeze

Big Brother's Brother said...

deke, new pic is brilliant

Nails said...

I hope C. Vivian Stringer gets involved.

El Padrino said...

is that the curse of the goat?

brillant!

Big Brother's Brother said...

i hope Vivian Banks gets involved. she was highly respected in her field.

blue said...

I think Tad is his actual name, not a nickname...he's from Boise so what do you expect.

El Padrino said...

i have no energy on racism right now and fuck tulo and his fancy glove

Nails said...

one of the "supervisors" here is wearing jorts today.

brilliant.

El Padrino said...

Tulowitski is a nice ball player.

Tulo is a midget fag.

Nails said...

Tulo sounds like a trapeze artists name.

Nails said...

Tad sounds like a carney's name.

ToddPacker said...

tulo sounds like someone that likes to 'host'

Nails said...

alright I'm out for a bit.

Met(s) fans....

maybe change the rallying cry to

WHY NOT US???

El Padrino said...

"Hollywood star Tom Cruise is planning to build a bunker at his Colorado home to protect his family in the event of an intergalactic alien attack, according to new reports.

The Mission Impossible actor, who is a dedicated follower of Scientology, is reportedly fearful that deposed galactic ruler 'Xenu' is plotting an evil revenge attack on Earth."



W T F

blue said...

at least tulowitzki speaks the engrish

Spaceman Spiff said...

EP, the joke will be on us if anything crazy happens and he has money to burn

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

It it the actual goat, yes.

blue said...

where is freak? I need to talk shit about the colts going to lose to the broncos this weekend.

El Padrino said...

spiff that's crazy talk

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Tulowitzki's career is almost over.

El Padrino said...

blue that's crazy talk too

El Padrino said...

meiz is funny

Spaceman Spiff said...

yea, it is

blue said...

this broncos team was built to beat one team...and that's the colts, now will they actually beat them...probably not, but it'll be closer than the 9.5 pt line

Spaceman Spiff said...

did beth go hit the treadmill or something, to prepare

blue said...

the broncos have the best pass D in the league, they just can't stop the run....no way peyton hands the ball off 35-40 times like Jacksonville did.

El Padrino said...

peyton will audible to a run 100 times if it means the broncos will come up ini the box a bit

then, bam

41-24 final before you can say "tulo"

blue said...

the broncos defense will not come up...their MO this year is to hang back and not give up the big play...Addai may rush for 200 yards, but I still don't think Peyton has the discipline to keep handing the ball off

blue said...

last year's game came down to a last minute drive/FG for the colts...I think it will be similar this season

El Padrino said...

pretty sure peyton is disciplined

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

The Broncos-

last second FG to beat Buffalo

Cheap trickery & FG to beat Oakland by 3.

Not beating the Colts indoors.

El Padrino said...

we'll see i guess but i'd lay the points, in denver i wouldnt

blue said...

I think if the Broncos went 4-12 this year and only beat the raiders twice and the colts once, Shanahan would be happy...mission accomplished

blue said...

"pretty sure peyton is disciplined"

this is the same guy who almost blows games because he won't run the ball at the end to run out clock and thus gives the other team the ball back with a chance to win...(see tennessee and Houston game)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I think if the Broncos went 4-12 this year and only beat the raiders twice and the colts once, Shanahan would be happy...mission accomplished"

Are you retarded?

What kind of goals are those?

blue said...

honestly, I don't think they'll win, but as a fan you have to at least hope and make arguments that they will win right?

unless you're a browns fan

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!

blue said...

"What kind of goals are those?"

those are shanahan's goals it seems every year. He wants to beat the raiders, and beat the colts. Those are the only 2 teams he cares about.

it was hyperbole to say that he'd be happy with just those wins, but sometimes it seems that way.

El Padrino said...

Thank you Herman.

blue said...

I wonder if Herm has given that speech to LJ yet?

blue said...

from the eltardo column last week...

how does herm edwards not know how to use the internet? this boggles my mind. It's not like he's lou holth age either.

blue said...

and re: broncos

I said before the season that 10-6 would be a solid season for them, but 9-7 is more likely

El Padrino said...

Tits

Keith The S said...

EA

Keith The S said...

Hilarious video

El Padrino said...

she was looking good last night at the boise game

El Padrino said...

swedes cant hold thier liqour down

Keith The S said...

blue
Solid A on the P10P today.

blue said...

Thanks Keith the S...i try

El Padrino said...

Rangers want Barroid.

Keith The S said...

Nobody mentioned that it's Friiiiiiidddaaaaaayyyyy!!!!!

Tyler said...

How's it goin'?

Tyler said...

It's Friiiiiiidddaaaaaayyyyy!!!!!

Big Brother's Brother said...

this is one of the only times i could wish this... but i wish it was monday (i'd be gone)

El Padrino said...

u going to some island or something?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"it's Friday...you ain't got no job...and you ain't got shit to do!"

this only applies to freak

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Life sucks.

blue said...

"Life sucks."

only if you're a brewer fan

blue said...

I think i'm going to have a "tribute to cheerleaders" next week on PTP...i've got a lot of good pics of them

El Padrino said...

meetin'

El Padrino said...

do it

tem said...

i have no missed much today.

although there are some links that i am looking forward to viewing later today.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"That's the beauty of it! I-I grab a dog...and...I-I choke him, and I-I...kick the shit out of him! All day long - my foot up a dog's ass! Yes, BANG BANG BANG up his ass! ...That's my plea-sure!"

friday must be vick's favorite movie

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Lemme answer for Tem.

"I've never seen Friday."

Keith The S said...

QT didn't write it so I've seen it.

Big Brother's Brother said...

myrtle beach wedding.

Keith The S said...

And I like it

Lou said...

Press Release -

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants. The iTit will cost $499 or $599 depending on size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

ToddPacker said...

thanks you, steve will be here all week

Spaceman Spiff said...

willi randolph

tem said...

i have seen friday.

and next friday.


but not the friday after next.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Page 2 has some nice Mets features today.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I am the recent recipient of an unprovoked attack by some cunt customer.

God, I hate women.

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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino