Wednesday, August 29, 2007

You're the next contestant on....

...STFU and sit down in your seat! Sit on down, yaaaaay! Now shadd-up.

-Ok, since we are allegedly attempting to put effort into putting actual posts up, I will join in with the fun. I guess I am doing this by default, as I cant get any hOt ShOtz oF AzZ at work, so I dont really care to help those that can get em. Really, WTF do I care? Yes, I could help out my fellow man (and woman), but where will that get me? I'll end up with absolute ska-doosh (other than a warm, fuzzy feeling inside and who wants that) and you'll just end up getting all aroused at work. I'm actually doing you a favor. I think this is best for both parties. Kinda like how when I left my wife and yet I got to keep the house and most of the money cause she showed that she was as vindictive, money-grubbing bitch. This hurts me more than it hurts you. But hitting you with that switch the other day? Well that hurt you more than it hurt me, I aint gonna lie. That shit didnt hurt me at all. Hell, I wasnt the one getting hit with no damn switch!

Now stop your crying or I'll really give you something to cry about!

-The Vick thing is nasty and all.. but let me tell you something. I am on Grandma Patrol this week because my parents are out of town. Check up on her and make sure she's ok and all that crap... so anyways, she obviously sits around and watches the news and daytime soaps all day, so her and I have plenty to talk about (sar-kaz-em). Actually I do like Granny as a person, she is actually mad cool. Dont think my ass is trying to shit-talk my Granny, cause she's hype (do that "hand by face" dance from the 80s). Actually an amazing cook too, which fits nicely into the grandmother stereotype and my belly enjoys it too.

Which was making me think.. and this will be a little random, do you truly expect anything else? Of all the things that mankind has succeeded and failed at (well, moreso reached or not reached its full potential at..) I think one thing that we have reached the greatest heights at is food. Yes, food. We can't get people to like each other or even be remotely tolerant, but got'amn, we can make em fat and happy and just make some perfect meals. Even skinny and happy too, I guess, cause I enjoy a nice concoction that involves fruit and healthy shit as well. I used to think that all the terrorist douchebags needed to concentrate on getting laid in THIS life rather than hoping the remains of their spirit gets a tweak in the afterlife and then everything would be alot better. But now, I'm thinking food could be a replacement for that too. Look at all the positives. You already have a towel (wipe your mouth), your ladies cover themselves up (so if they get fat, you dont have to look at them), and youre all really skinny (so you can either stay skinny or get as fat as you want). Take a break from being filmed doing barrel rolls in a dusty field with a automatic weapons for a few minutes and have a piece of pie. Maybe try this one jello-with-strawberries and preztel shit that Gma makes. You will sit back full but content underneath your parachute-turned-canopy and just enjoy the breeze that only 112º weather can provide. Sweet, sweet life. Food. Mark it down, kids. You can be too insecure to let Jenny or Billy see your pee-pee or your fat little tummy, but you youre never ashamed to open your mouth for a tasty snack. And in this instance, you really need to think outside of things that come in a box from the corner store or other ish that you have sitting around your house. I'm talking about those assmunches on the cooking networks and in expensive, famous restaurants. Foods that take you to another level of piggery. Of course I dont exactly frequent those places or eat that type of food all that much ..ever, but maybe I should. That's the reason I steal money from friends and relatives, or at least i tell myself that. It started out to be the reason, but then with the meth, rocks and then needles getting so expensive, it's hard. Plus sex has gotten far too expensive as well. Kids these days are becoming entrepreneurs so young, it's almost becoming a deterrent. But we work hard so we can play hard. Or in my case, others work hard to I can play hard. Either way, I can afford to go buy nice things. It's a circle of.. something. Trust me.

-So anyways, back to this Vick thing and me taking a few minutes out of my day to connect with Gee-maw (I'm so selfless). She starts to tell me that its disgusting and all "that" and how she thinks they should give him the max (the 5 years). She's not being a lunactic knee-jerker though, she just loves dogs and my Gpa always had a bunch at any given time. But still, I'm like right right.. not really concernced... murders are happening to people and dogs are not as high on my list. While I love my golden retriever and I *guarantee* that I would literally (literally-literally) beat someone close to death if they ever harmed my own pup, theres just more shocking and appauling things out there.

But then she busts out this little story. Somebody around here was in the news for Dog Crime as well. Aww shit, do we have a new trend or new venacular to add to the rotation? Well, be ready for Debbie Downer now..

They took a non-fighting dog and *threw it through a window* (glass/screen/open?) into a house that had an aggressive fighting dog in it and they let the dog get attacked and killed. The raging Bonds dog obviously kicked the living hell out of the other one but then proceeded to drag it outside into the front yard, leaving blood down the steps and out of the house. I dont know if they meant it as a way to "teach" the dog how to fight or if it was simply a sacrifice to the Gods of Dumb Fucks. But yeah, blood on your front steps and one dog killing another in your front yard? Thats gonna get you found out pretty quickly.. havent seen the story online yet, it was just on the local nobody-watches crap.. and ya know, I dont exactly expect to be able to link to this story ever cause it didnt involve anybody that was worthy of note. It just included some scummy people from The D. Maybe we should hand out press passes and get some people out there ASAP and see if we can get this guy that did this to the dog fired from his job or at least convicted in the court of public opinion. We can follow him to the gas station each morning and then wait for him to get off @ 6. Or send a couple reporters in there to grab the bathroom key and see if you can maybe get a quote out of him. Erin Andrews and her beautiful, plentiful.. lips... could go in there and try to talk to him. She's got extremely beautiful... lips.

-And since beggars cant be choosers, if you thought this was too long and are going to complain and/or whine about it, save yourself the time: I dont want to hear your opinion. Hey, at least I'm honest.

Hugs and kisses.

581 comments:

1 – 200 of 581   Newer›   Newest»
isiah thomas-holth said...

at least blue can't cry about not having a long post to read.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I barely got thru a quarter of that.

You're an ass.

isiah thomas-holth said...

*CYBER FUCKING STANDING O FOR THAT POST*

isiah thomas-holth said...

Look at all the positives. You already have a towel (wipe your mouth), your ladies cover themselves up (so if they get face, you dont have to look at them), and youre all really skinny (so you can either stay skinny or get as fat as you want). Take a break from being filmed doing barrel rolls in a dusty field with a automatic weapons for a few minutes and have a piece of pie. Maybe try this one jello-with-strawberries and preztel shit that Gma makes.

I hope Osama reads this part.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm out

JFreak said...

Zeke, I'll repeat what I said Monday re: number of playoff teams.

"4 playoff teams in the keeper.

8 teams was for if it was a 20 team league, which didn't happen."

I'm terribly sorry I didn't change it earlier, but do you have to piss and moan so much? You complained about it being too many people with eight, but then whined about it when I reduced it to four. You can't be outraged at both, pick one or the other.

JFreak said...

three helmet stickers to Tyler for "The Sherm" and the corresponding wiki.

El Padrino said...

this is fantastic journalism
i'm sure Lou would have just wanted some titties instead but goddam jug you nailed this one

El Padrino said...

and in honor of this post i will eat like a road hog today

tem said...

jug did great today.

i am slightly hungover. that is disappointing.

tem said...

that EA pic is great.

Although I was unsure at first if it was really her. Blair and Jo looked fantabulous though.

El Padrino said...

get some greasy ass eggs with bacon

works.everytime.

tem said...

we have neither at work.

but if i eat some ice cream that might help.

blue said...

Great post. I particularly enjoyed the grandma part. From this post I have learnt that people who participate in dog fights need to eat more so they can look like Erin Andrews.

blue said...

"at least blue can't cry about not having a long post to read."


oh, look at the little baby, he's sad because he's not creative enough to write a paragraph...poor zeke. Let's all give him a hug


(s)

tem said...

nobody won the megamillions.

it is up to like 325 million $

tem said...

my streak of not getting a single number right on the mega millions now goes to at least 100 games in a row.

tem said...

what are the odds on that?

probably like 85%.

tem said...

it's too hard to win the lottery.

tem said...

ha! the never before seen, bitching about the lottery Z.

tem said...

b a s k

El Padrino said...

only white trash people win lotteries, or very very old people

El Padrino said...

i got eggs

and bacon

El Padrino said...

for lunch i was thinking a giant italian hero

maybe a godfather or something like that

El Padrino said...

mota stinks

good call using him the next inning willie

good call

El Padrino said...

Castro wants Obama and hillary to run the country

NS

blue said...

Castro is practically dead

El Padrino said...

Osama reads LOV?

wow, we are Bigtime

tem said...

lunch today will be at a dive of a bar.

tem said...

its dark and the food tastes OK.

the waitresses have nice racks.

blue said...

don't you go eat with the sr. citizens? how do you get them to a dive bar?

El Padrino said...

deke yuengling signed with the Bucks

blue said...

i'm not sold that the picture is EA....blair and jo look nice, but they also look fake, and EA ain't no faker

El Padrino said...

"its dark and the food tastes OK.

the waitresses have nice racks."

now that's a ringing endorsement

blue said...

tem-

that Jen girl over at DS isn't getting into the contest. She used to have a picture, it's not hot.

tem said...

they like the dive bar because the waitresses have nice racks.

they are the epitome of the dirty old man.

blue said...

my grandpa always made me eat at this one diner when we would go to the mountains when I was a kid.

His reason: the nice racks on the waitresses. He thought it was something in the water.

tem said...

i think the jen era is over then.

before there was hope that she was hot. now you took that away from me.

tem said...

the nose on the chick is EAish.

EAs nose is wierd.

tem said...

really i don't look at her nose too much though.

tem said...

*the chick bbb linked.

tem said...

grandpas are always good at finding places with nice racks.

blue said...

today is the 2 year anniversary of hurricane katrina and guess what, 2 years later...George Bush still doesn't care about black people.

El Padrino said...

neither does blue

tem said...

but i swear if i hear this exchange again imma gonna kilt someone:

old man 1: those are nice tits, but too bad i can't do anything about it anymore.

old man 2: you wouldn't know what to do even if you could.

both old men: ((laugh hysterically))

tem said...

i hear that exchange once a week.

tem said...

what's a black person?

blue said...

why can't that guy do anything about it? Bob Dole uses viagra, and he has a hand that doesn't work.

I'm guessing those guys hands work

tem said...

that's something i don't want to axe them.

blue said...

just ask them if it's true that "if you don't use it you lose it"

blue said...

then guffaw

tem said...

maybe they haven't heard of those things.

they aren't into email so they probably don't get 100s of SPAM emails about viagra.

and NPR doesn't play any ads for it. actually i suspect NPR constantly plays ads for viagra and other old people drugs.

tem said...

my guffawing needs work. i will practice for awhile.

blue said...

a chortle works good too

blue said...

I need to update my college picks now that the lines are updated

ToddPacker said...

mota sucks
heilman sucks

blue said...

what does (off) mean? Is that off the board? How do you pick against a line that is off the board?

ToddPacker said...

rev sucks

ToddPacker said...

lots of LoV action last night

tem said...

the columbus parks and rec department determined that our softball team name of "Snatch Masters" was inappropriate.

Lou said...

That was a rev worthy post right there.



Don't know who she is but she's in my top five for this week.

tem said...

CFB pick 'em with lines just became too much work.

imma leaving them how they are for now.

ToddPacker said...

how did the brew crew drop below .500..... maybe sheets coming back will help

tem said...

it can't hurt.

blue said...

pennants aren't won in august.

El Padrino said...

Mr 3000 is not walking thru that door

tem said...

*Mr. 2999

Beth said...

Nice link Lou, she's gorgeous. And per Wiki, she's a French journalist.

Here's a quote from wiki about her, "Mélissa Theuriau has become an internet phenomenon, with her YouTube videos reportedly receiving millions of hits from male and female admirers."

Count me as one of the female admirers. :-)

tem said...

The Pirates are only 8.5 out.

tem said...

per wiki:

In 2006, Voici, a French tabloid, published pictures showing her topless at a beach. Her lawyers are reportedly attempting to purge these images from the Internet.

Lou said...

Oh and speaking of food:

- 1 bar of cream cheese
- 1 roll of spicy sausage (I like Jimmy Deans)
- Canned tomatoes (the spicy Mexican kind, can't remember what there called) add to taste.
- ground the sausage up like hamburger, mix all that shit together and bam!!!

This is one of the best dips on the planet, I had it this weekend.

You can also do the same thing with chedder cheese/hamburger instead of cream cheese/sausage


ya'll can thank me later.

tem said...

rev just puts that all in his mouth at once

tem said...

my friend makes a similar thing with the sausage and cheddar cheese. also cream cheese i think.

same basic recipe though.

meat + cheese = dip.

tem said...

** meat + cheese + tomatoes = dip.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Goddamn I drank a lot last night.

Big Brother's Brother said...

Lou's chick is smokin.

Big Brother's Brother said...

-cream cheese
-hormel chili w/o the beans
-lots of your favorite type of cheese

= dip

El Padrino said...

open mouth
insert balls

= ball dip

Big Brother's Brother said...

aaaaaaaawh Yi!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

That is not EA.

Fuck the brewers. Linebrink sucks dick.

Big Brother's Brother said...

my link is appropriate for a ball dip. welcome to being posterized, ChinaManDan.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

cubed Velveeta + Hormel chili + warmth = diiiiiip

blue said...

i'm writing down all these dips

blue said...

a bunch of racheal rays here today

Big Brother's Brother said...

google EA and then blame the internets if that link is wrong, cause thats the first thing that comes up.

*absolve me of my sin, father.

Big Brother's Brother said...

me and the african are i2i. now i just need some Tostitos minis.

blue said...

that chick's name is Ivon Gaete...

here are some more pics

tem said...

irregardless she is nice to look at.

Lou said...

John Edwards asks Americans to give up their SUVs. He then gets a ride in his limo to get on his private jet, to take him to his 10,000 square foot home.


I hate politicians.

Big Brother's Brother said...

*the correction is now noted.

blue said...

did john edwards toe tap though? does he have a "wide stance"?

these are the questions the american public needs answers for.

El Padrino said...

vavooom

tem said...

"did john edwards toe tap though? does he have a "wide stance"?"

next time they do a youtube question thing you can axe them.

blue said...

that chick is on ESPN deportes, I guess. I would watch her speak in spanish.

These are the angles that deportes needs to take to get higher viewership.

blue said...

that chick could give EA a run for her money in the "who would you do" contest

tem said...

more tits less tafoya.

tem said...

blue my answer for that would be "can't it be both????"

blue said...

*at the same time

blue said...

now we're getting somewhere

tem said...

exactly.

Lou said...

i don't think EA can hold a candle to the french chick

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

My fart smells like jalepenos

tem said...

if EA wanted to I'd let her.

but french chick > EA.

tem said...

mine smell like beer farts.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm makin' keeper moves. I like it. got myself a competitive team now.

tem said...

is that so?

El Padrino said...

i rode mike furrey to a championship last season

NS

tem said...

good story

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Mike Furrey will not repeat last season's feats.

El Padrino said...

I know. But I miss him already.

blue said...

doesn't fmtem like furrey?

blue said...

I'm gonna put vick on IR

tem said...

i'll have to axe her.

El Padrino said...

dont kill her man!

tem said...

ok

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Well, I'm gonna be fucling gone for a while. This fucking douche is bringing in a bunch of steel blades that weigh at least 15lbs each.

I'm fucking pissed.

Get a shipping/receiving dept @ your company. Fuck head.

El Padrino said...

zeke is it hot outsdie?

tem said...

throw the blades at him.

blue said...

blades of glory?

Big Brother's Brother said...

shorts everyday because of great, comfortable temperatures = ideal.


shorts everyday because otherwise you may die from heat exhaustion while walking to your mailbox = not so ideal.

isiah thomas-holth said...

I'm terribly sorry I didn't change it earlier, but do you have to piss and moan so much?


Sorry freak, I don't think I was pissed about 8 teams, I'm just wondering why you continue to make changes to the rules without telling us about it. That's all.

tem said...

From yahoo!

"Leona Helmsley's will leaves a fortune to her dog and nothing to two of her grandchildren"


hahahaahahahahahahahahahaha (typo is Yahoo!'s as well)

tem said...

HUNgry

isiah thomas-holth said...

oh, look at the little baby, he's sad because he's not creative enough to write a paragraph...poor zeke. Let's all give him a hug


oh beazy, relax buddy, don't get your shammy jammies in a bunch.

Spaceman Spiff said...

im bitter about the fantasy beizbol having 6/18 playoff teams, my team is shitting the bed, dont think im gonna make it

THE CHAMP. said...

speaking of blades of glory.

i want to plow amy pohler. just once. i wouldn't take her out or anyhthing. just nail her and leave.

isiah thomas-holth said...

open mouth
insert balls

= ball dip


keep it simple like this. This is funny.

isiah thomas-holth said...

oh, NS

isiah thomas-holth said...

Deke - PBF is going to be on the next installment of Dancing with the Stars this September....

WTF....

way to get prepared for your fight.

Tyler said...

They're saying it could top 110 degrees in The Sherm today. That's crazy hot.

THE CHAMP. said...

reportedly Brock Lesnar has signed a UFC deal.

I wonder if he'll wear his WWE outfit. or a vikings jersey.

Tyler said...

I'm disappointed that some wiki nazi already deleted my entry. What kind of a world do we live in where you can't make up stuff and post it on wikipedia?

Lou said...

Blades Of Glory -

Anybody seen it? Worth a buy/rent?

isiah thomas-holth said...

Whoa, CFB pick'em is with the spread and confidence points?

I'm calling last place now.

blue said...

agree with champ on the Amy Pohler thing.

Also Pam from "the office" is pretty hot in that movie.

blue said...

I am disappointed that the Iowa game is not one of the choices in Pick'em this week.

blue said...

"Blades Of Glory -

Anybody seen it? Worth a buy/rent?"

It sounds like i'm one of the few who have seen it. It's worth a rental.

blue said...

kod would enjoy BoG just because Scott Hamilton makes a few appearances.

I know Kod loves him some Scott Hamilton.

El Padrino said...

not much thinking this week zeke
just take all the favs

this is college footballs version of pre-season, only these games count

big conferences dont schedule conference games right out of the shoot, they'd rather practice on the Youngstown St.'s of the world first

isiah thomas-holth said...

that's what I did this week EP, all chalk.

blue said...

Tennessee/Cal should be a good game..if Ainge isn't hurt

blue said...

On the local sports radio yesterday they were talking to some okie state supporter, and he was going on and on about how they could upset UGA this weekend.

he was laughable.

blue said...

going back to tem's comment from last night about Necessary Roughness and the "tie"

when the movie was filmed back then college football didn't have OT, just ties.

isiah thomas-holth said...

Ron Ron coming to Vick's rescue

Spaceman Spiff said...

i cant believe yi signed

Big Brother's Brother said...

if im mike vick, i call Ron Ron and tell him to leave my name out his mouf.

Big Brother's Brother said...

*and to go promote his album

El Padrino said...

ron artest used the word classy

now that is comedy

Big Brother's Brother said...

i heard he just shaved "classy" into his hair.

El Padrino said...

Queenie Dmello

name of some mumbai-bian in india

El Padrino said...

Why do i have to talk to these people?

isiah thomas-holth said...

One of the other names that has surfaced during the investigation, sources confirmed, is Bruce Gradkowski, the Rockets' starting quarterback in the 2003-05 seasons who now is a backup with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Authorities have not spoken about Gradkowski's possible connection, but sources say investigators are examining his playing time in a number of games under scrutiny as they follow up on an allegation that Manni had offered a Toledo player $10,000 to sit out particular games.

isiah thomas-holth said...

Toledo Point Shaving?

tem said...

kathy ireland's kicking motion entertains me endlessley.

Spaceman Spiff said...

skillz

*youtube clip

tem said...

YES! The value both entertainment and financial of my Gradkowski jersey went up!

Spaceman Spiff said...

i could go for some skittles

tem said...

Toledo is awesome.

tem said...

damn that espn.com article is tooooooooo long.

blue said...

as long as no dogs were injured in that toledo betting scandal...all the players involved will be OK

blue said...

brevity is a concept that is lost on some WWL writers...like TMQ

tem said...

scooter mc doogle.

who's name sounds fake as can be, ain't alright.

isiah thomas-holth said...

that's a good read, sounds like it might blow up.

blue said...

Mark Cuban is going to be on dancing with the stars?



hahahahahahah

that's funnier than jerry springer.

imagine him getting super pissed at the judges.

isiah thomas-holth said...

actually the article says that mcdougale guy had 3 pittbulls at an off campus house he was renting and there are some dogs buried on the property....could be some dog fighting mixed up in it also.

tem said...

we used to own an apartment complex at UT.

we sold it this year though.

El Padrino said...

big time WTF on the PBF DWTS shit

tem said...

Dancing with the stars:

Melanie Brown, aka "Scary Spice" and Mel B.

• Sabrina Bryan of Disney Channel's "Cheetah Girls."

• Indianapolis 500 champion Helio Castroneves.

• Actress Jennie Garth ("Beverly Hills, 90210").

• Model-actress Josie Maran.

• Soap star Cameron Mathison ("All My Children").

• Singer Marie Osmond.

• Model Albert Reed.

• Actress Jane Seymour ("Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman").

And Cuban and PBF.

tem said...

jennie garth means teejer will be all over that show.

El Padrino said...

("Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman").

So this is not Brady Quinn?

blue said...

I was hoping Cuban would address DWTS on his blog, but he didn't...just talked about how much of a nerd he actually is

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm back. And black.

El Padrino said...

PUKE

i want DWTS gone and the host to die

blue said...

Brady Quinn would be on DWTS...he's dress up as the Village People every week.

El Padrino said...

Josie i think is hot so that's good

let me take a look

isiah thomas-holth said...

I thought Jeannie Garth was uber hot in the 90210 days.

El Padrino said...

confirmed, she's hot

El Padrino said...

kelly was hot

she's like 50 now though

blue said...

OH YES!!!!..new BIO..and it's filled with great quotes...

like:

"the hot water is the only thing that can dissolve the dried-on sediment from the previous mugful. It can be a couple of weeks in between servings, so the bottom of the mug (which I keep at my desk, a 24-ounce Scooby-Doo "mystery brew" model) gets brown and gunky."

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

PBF gon' lose to rick for sure now.

tem said...

wtf with helio castroneves?

blue said...

"One of my favorite things to do when a spell-checker is turned on is to right-click and view suggestions from the program. For instance, Scooby in the paragraph above is underlined and I'm given four alternatives: Booby, Booby's, Jacoby, or Jacoby's. I can just imagine the porn possibilities of a character named Booby-Doo. Oh, and the alternatives for "Doo" are Dew, Du, Doro, too, or coo. Hey Blogger, wouldn't "Do" be a legitimate word one might *accidentally* type for Doo? Assuming, of course, that I didn't actually mean Scooby-Doo"


the hits just keep on coming

tem said...

there was no diary for BIOs last 2 posts. will there be for this one?

tem said...

or am i gonna have to read it myself?

blue said...

the previous 2 posts sucked...this one is probably worth a read....just for the internet mad libs portion

Spaceman Spiff said...

jane seymour in old school made me wanna do her

blue said...

jane seymour is definitely a cougar

blue said...

"you motor-boatin sumbitch"

tem said...

from BIO:

"The CT show is a Friday, so being out late isn't a big deal...it's a weekend my kids are with their mom."


he sounds like a divorced fella. what a shock.

tem said...

jane seymour was in old school?

tem said...

motorboatin line was from Wedding Crashers.

tem said...

I stopped reading after this line, I am too scared to find out where it leads

"Speaking of porn possibilities, one evening a few years ago my ex-boss and I were waiting to start a poker night at the office. "

blue said...

old school, wedding crashers, it has a wilson brother and vince vaughn....they're all the same

blue said...

the porn line led into the internet mad libs...it was durrty

tem said...

he fucked his boss and played mad libs?

blue said...

that's the story we're telling...

JFreak said...

It's still up Tyler

tem said...

yay tyler.

tem said...

i mean good job with the wiki thing Jug.

tem said...

200

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 581   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino