Friday, August 24, 2007

top 68, i'm tired

Fantasy TOP 0ne hunnit (only got to 68, too long) :
Tomlinson - no shit.
Stephen Jackson - Zorse.
S. Alexander - If someone takes Gore third make sure you laugh heartily. King Alexander is healthy and scores more TD's than any other back outside of the top 2.
L.J - Aging line and pourous team dropped him below Shaun.
Gore - not in love with him @5 but i'm a perfectionist. Couldnt blame you if you took the next guy.
Westbrook - dyno-mite, when he's not hurt
Addai - goaline carries hurt him, peyton so good inside the 20
fast willie parker - aaaaaahhhh SUPERFLY.
Peyton Manning - facial expressions = classic, outside shot at 40 TD's = priceless
RUDI, RUDI - Consistent back, 12-14td's and 20-25 carries a game
Reginald BUSH - caught 88 balls last year.....he's a double threat
Travis Henry - Workzorse who now gets to run in that Shanahan system, could be a huge year for Travis
Maroney - #1 back--with all the WR's NE has who knows if they will need him (s)
McGahee - Avoid him if you could (injuries). they do pound the shit out of the ball though
Carson Palmer - 4500 yards, 30+ TD's = possible
Cedric Benson - Lots of draftnik's low on Benson, cant figure out why... the team runs the ball at a 70-30 clip.
Ronnie Brown - another guy who you hope can make it to thanksgiving in one piece
Marvin Harrison - marvin be starvin for out routes and td's and P-bone makes it rain
Chad Johnson - For TD celebrations of course
Torry Holt - guy can catch an egg thrown to him via post route and it wont break, soft hands
Edge - Avoid. Unless board dictates otherwise
Jones-drew - dont forget that he's tiny, had a great rookie year and also takes returns kicks, buyer beware
Roy Willams - STUD
Reggie Wayne - P bone makes it rain, dont forget it
Tom Brady - Brady and friends could put on a dazzlying display on any given sunday and he plays the Jets two times so you have that
Brees - Easy breeesssey is as accurate as a rolex
Bulger - holt. Jackson. Bennet. McMichael. dome.
Deuce - i wish he were white, deuce as a name for a whiteboy would be awesome
Portis - he gets the rock, plain and simple
Marshawn Lynch - high for a rookie i know but dude is sick, gonna be a top 5 pick one day
Thomas Jones - can be a hell of a back when motivated
Steve Smith - game breaking skillz
Larry Fitz - awesome, hope Leinart gets him the rock early and your in for a 50 point day
T.O - the bonds of NFL (jerk)
Brandon Jacobs - all goaline duties
Rex Grossman - joking, just trying to see if your still paying attention
Jon Kitna - i gaurantee he has a good year, stat wise
anquan boldin - solid, real solid-- sort of like a good roast beef sammich
T J Houshhhh - chad gets the fame but housh plays the game
andre Johnson - give me the ball SCHAUBBIIIEEEE
Donald Driver - one night he hung 60 on me, the next year i drafted him and we went all the way, i love you donald driver your a beautiful man
McNabb - if healthy you got a great fantasy qb, my suggestion is grabbing a Alex Smith or Manning somewhere arounf round 4 or 5 to backup Donovan
Lee Evans - guy put together some huge games last year
Ahman Green - shit, might turn out to be a steal
Plax - he's tall
Randy Moss - hope those piano string hammies hold tight
Marion Barber - see Brandon Jacobs
Marques Colston - Sophmore slump? I'll have none of it
Cadillac Williams - needs to be more consistent but best back on the board right now
DeAngelo Willaims - will be starting by week 5, your welcome
Brandon Jackson - gonna surprise some people
Antonio Gates - used to play basketball, or so they say
Adrian Peterson - risky but could bump Chester the molester to the bench
jamal lewis - rejuvenation or the end of the road
Hines Ward - on the decline but the guy catches everything
Hasselback -unsexy pick but hey it's like frosted flakes, always good
Reggie Brown - the bulldog has improved every year
Tatum Bell - very nice line, starting because of KJ's injury
L Coles - eh, if you must
Tony Gonzo - will be the security blanket for young Brodie
Phillip Rivers - off the play action, the plays are there and he can make those throws
Santana Moss - i wish his little bro was as good as him
Julius jones - barber takes his thunder
Cutler - kid can fling the rock, for real tho
tomy homo - fuck you
ladell betts - portis annual insurance policy
alex smith - i like what i see
Galloway - deep threat, garcia's scrambling ability, all good things
vincent jackson - could put together a nice season


i like big latin booty



with baby oil on it







only disagree with a few fdrom this top 200

538 comments:

1 – 200 of 538   Newer›   Newest»
Lou said...

Time For Deep Thoughts By Lou -

How come it's called High School, Middle School, and Elementary School. Why not Low School?

Beth said...

Lou obviously has too much time on his hands...

ToddPacker said...

beth was too slow for the 1st comment

Lou said...

another one of those days.

Beth said...

And EP, I know VERY little about fantasy leagues, but I was surprised not to see Vince Young in your top 68. Isn't he supposed to be the "next big thing"?

El Padrino said...

i dont know what middle school is

in nyc

middle school = junior high school

makes more sense
morons

Lou said...

you yankees are silly...

El Padrino said...

"And EP, I know VERY little about fantasy leagues, but I was surprised not to see Vince Young in your top 68. Isn't he supposed to be the "next big thing"?"

not this year, a rushing qb is just not a good fantasy option
he would have made the top 75 if i didnt get winded

Beth said...

I have to tell you Lou, your pic creeps me out, reminds me too much of a clown.

ToddPacker said...

"middle school = junior high school"



i never heard the term middle school until i moved to florida.... like ep said it was always called it jr high

Lou said...

gotta think against clowns beth?

Beth said...

The obvious joke here:

EP, not a good sign if you get winded right before you reach 69...

Lou said...

ya'll are putting too much thought into my deep thought...

Lou said...

"EP, not a good sign if you get winded right before you reach 69... "


hahah

ToddPacker said...

"reminds me too much of a clown"



it reminds me of an albino kermit

El Padrino said...

someone had to say it

ToddPacker said...

heilman is reminding more and more of doug sisk

Beth said...

"gotta think against clowns beth?"

Yep, ever since I read "It" by Stephen King. It's got a very creepy killer clown in it.

ToddPacker said...

the book clown was much more scary than the made for tv movie clown

blue said...

Good list EP. I'd have put Calvin Johnson on there, and maybe moved Brandon Jackson and AP up a little higher...but you da man

El Padrino said...

no big boss, no middle boss, no work

ha

and i'm out at 5 on the dizot
cyclone game then Totonno's

El Padrino said...

calvin would have been at or around 72, 73

El Padrino said...

shotsky was a clown

El Padrino said...

doug sisk, nooooooooooooooooooooo

blue said...

Junior High...that's what we called it...middle school is for quakers

El Padrino said...

i've tried oatmeal several times and i just dont get it

El Padrino said...

i hate when people yawn when i'm talkin to them

i should put my fist in thier mouth

Lou said...

noone is in my office yet, i'm starting to wonder if I didn't get the memo.

Lou said...

I bet it said something like: Take the day off and go to the beach


I should leave.

blue said...

so I went to the doctor with my wife yesterday for her normal pregnancy checkup and come to find out her cervix is shortening so they have to do this today.

The doctor says it will be cool, and no problem, but it still makes me stressed.

blue said...

btw, her condition is very different than what is described in wiki, but I'm going to have to believe the bible.

ToddPacker said...

get the hell out of there, steve.... while you have the chance

El Padrino said...

hope that works out blue

people take having babies for granted

blue said...

so, I came into work for only an hour or so.

one hour of work rocks the house

Lou said...

good luck blue, I'm sure it'll be no worries.

But that's more information than I ever need to know about anything like that...ever.

blue said...

If I had an iphone I could LoV all day...damn you apple.

Lou said...

yea I'm TP, I'm starting to think it's like in college, if the professor doesn't show up within 15 minutes, class is canceled.

ToddPacker said...

"The doctor says it will be cool, and no problem, but it still makes me stressed"


good luck to ya blue.... cmtp had complications with both of her pregnancies.... i know the feeling

ToddPacker said...

"if the professor doesn't show up within 15 minutes, class is canceled"


i ♥ed that rule

El Padrino said...

lou, apply rule

blue said...

lou, my office was that way yesterday, nobody showed up until like 9. I was very confused.

blue said...

I blame daylight savings time

El Padrino said...

maybe if i put bacon in the oatmeal it'd taste better

blue said...

oatmeal sucks

When I got a high cholesterol count at my physical, the doctor suggested I eat oatmeal every day.

That lasted about 2 months, and I said fuck that, i'd rather die

blue said...

my exact question after eating oatmeal for 2 months:

"don't they make a cholesterol lowering pill, i see them on tv, that's gotta be better than oatmeal"

Lou said...

bossman just showed up.


Oatmeal -

Bacon and cheeze are for Gritz. Brown Sugar and apple slices are for Oatmeal

blue said...

I ate that maple and brown sugar one...it's not as bad as just plain...but I wanted to put a lot of butter in it, and that kind of defeated the purpose.

El Padrino said...

"That lasted about 2 months, and I said fuck that, i'd rather die"

if a person would rather die than eat oatmeal it says everyhting i need to know

El Padrino said...

oatmeal < dirt

blue said...

btw, it should not come as a shock to anyone that my trade with TP was vetoed at the very last minute last night.

Sad, sad day

tem said...

Good post. I enjoyed the Grossman joke.

tem said...

we call it middle school and junior high.

elementary school is sometimes primary school.

tem said...

"it reminds me of an albino kermit"

not albino, rowlf just blew it all over his face.

blue said...

Shanoff picked VA TECH as the number 1 team in the land.

super major WHAT THE FUCK?

tem said...

"i hate when people yawn when i'm talkin to them

i should put my fist in thier mouth"

I do this to the cat, but just a finger because the fist don't fit.

and yes i realize where the jokes will go with this one.

tem said...

"btw, it should not come as a shock to anyone that my trade with TP was vetoed at the very last minute last night."

last minute vetos make me think that freak is just fucking with everyone and still can veto trades.

if this is the case, standing fucking O to freak.

El Padrino said...

no comment on shammy

tem said...

shanoff is a dolt.

El Padrino said...

hahaha grossman

Beth said...

"Bacon and cheeze are for Gritz. Brown Sugar and apple slices are for Oatmeal"

Lou knows his stuff. I actually feel sorry for people who've never had good cheese grits.

tem said...

2-3 days bed rest for cmblue.

El Padrino said...

then feel sorry for me

blue said...

grits are disgusting...and this coming from a guy whose step-mom grew up in the south, and who married a southern woman and has a southern mother in law

tem said...

zeke just picked up the guy i was going to pick up...bastard.

blue said...

"2-3 days bed rest for cmblue."

actually like 5 days I think is what the doctor told her...the good news is that i'm gonna try and parlay this episode into a new tv for the bedroom.

we need HD in there

El Padrino said...

that would be wise blue

tem said...

damn zeke is digging to protect that 9-2 lead.

blue said...

"damn zeke is digging to protect that 9-2 lead."

with that score, and weazy getting pimp slapped, zeke is in 2nd place right now...which means a bye in the first round of the playoffs.

I'm guessing that's why he's pushing so hard.

Beth said...

"then feel sorry for me"

EP, I'll add that to the already long list of why I feel sorry for you. :-)

blue said...

it's real to him

tem said...

weazy is getting slapped around right now.

eft.

tem said...

hohan got 1 day in prison. i hope she gets shanked.

blue said...

nicole richie served 80 some minutes for her dui

blue said...

she should have at least served "all night long...all night..."

blue said...

Ok, i'm out

i'll be around for some LoVAD and weekend edition though i'm sure.

El Padrino said...

"EP, I'll add that to the already long list of why I feel sorry for you. :-)"

ouch

tem said...

el pad, you got fast willie ranked pretty high.

and that's a lot of faith in kitna.

El Padrino said...

true story, i drafted kitna in my cash league ($500 entry)

so you know i'm serious

El Padrino said...

and as far as Parker you dont think he's gonna have a good year...stillers say they will be more explosive on O this year

El Padrino said...

Roy Williams
Calvin Johnson
Furrey

Mike Martz pisses plays that make QB's total up 4000 yards

El Padrino said...

my back up is Alex Smifff
though, btw

tem said...

kitna is solid, he was good for cinci and the martz thing is true.

i was just surprised to see him that high.

tem said...

i fear lack of TDs for FWP.

El Padrino said...

ah, td's
understood

El Padrino said...

good luck david wells
your going to need it

tem said...

thinking more about kitna i guess that is the right place for him.

i wouldn't really move any other QB above him.

El Padrino said...

i aint got a motor boat but i can float your boat

El Padrino said...

common sense takes time

tem said...

d wells? please advise.

tem said...

remember i am a rube. it takes a bit longer.

tem said...

ah i see, dodgers deal.

tem said...

d. wells > b. tomko ?


i guess. maybe.

tem said...

wells will definitely bring beer to the party at least.

El Padrino said...

true, that's always a plus

jugdish said...

Good post, people are low on Cedric Benson because he hasn't been the number one guy and he has been injured the last two seasons. If health wasn't a concern for him he'd be ranked a bit higher.

jugdish said...

I'm going to Jeff Bagwell's retirement ceremony this weekend (retiring his number). first 40,000 fans get a commemoritive shot of cortisone in the right shoulder.

jugdish said...

Pennywise was the clown in IT...not sure if that had been said or not.

El Padrino said...

funny jug

ToddPacker said...

i think the jug era is back

jugdish said...

So TJW doesn't bag 3 chicks in a week so he pulls down his blog?

tem said...

he didn't bag the chicks so his mom made him pull the blog down.

tem said...

jug madneww just happened.

ToddPacker said...

after this weekend of doing nothing, i have a very busy weekend schedule in september.... 4 home gators games in 5 weeks....

ToddPacker said...

and no home games in october (unless you count the UGA game in jax)

ToddPacker said...

"madneww"


i still don't know the origin of that.... i think it was the week i was out... when did madness become madneww?

Professor Chaos said...

I think it was blue who hit had his hands off of Home Key Row and hit the Dubs instead of the S's.

Madneww was born

tem said...

jug typed madess wrong and hit 'w' instead of 's'.


its just a typo thing.

tem said...

but of course jug did it on purpose because it is asewome.

ToddPacker said...

thankw

tem said...

tp is a fast learner.

tem said...

blue is all hat and no cattle.

leaving in the middle of the day.

El Padrino said...

trying to accept mvn
add drop shit

El Padrino said...

VIVA!

El Padrino said...

wading small tps wave

tem said...

TPS rocks my world for sept 1 - oct 15.

this year it started early.

isiah thomas-holth said...

Blue's gone for the rest of the day? LOV is really going to suffer without him.


(utmost, extreme, uber S)

isiah thomas-holth said...

I picked up the SP's in a pre-emptive move against MLMC, nothing more, nothing less.

ToddPacker said...

so i guess reggie is not making a comeback

ToddPacker said...

miller

ToddPacker said...

funny trade

Professor Chaos said...

Mantoothz and EP have hit rock bottom

El Padrino said...

my best trade yet

Professor Chaos said...

Zeke...With my beat down of Weazy the stage has been set for next weeks battle dome.

Two men enter, one man leaves, with a BYE hanging in the balance. Two mortal enemies...vying for one prize.

It kinda seems like something else should be on the line...maybe you and weazy throw on top of that bet a name change for a week?

isiah thomas-holth said...

thumbs up to EP and Marty's trade, finally someone thinking outside the box.

isiah thomas-holth said...

usually a bad week for you team means they'll have a good week the next. Next week's match-up will be a good one.

El Padrino said...

i will be watching





(s)

Professor Chaos said...

I will not be vetoing the deal, because frankly it doesn't have playoff implications.

The GM's of the respective clubs must have been the problem, i bet your new players will adapt to your playing style for the...one week that you have them. If only you guys would have thought of this sooner perhaps you wouldn't be back 45.5/46.5 games respectively

El Padrino said...

serious anyone think we could do a cash league

anyone feel umcomfortable mailing a check to me?

i swear i wont steal it

El Padrino said...

really, throw out the sterotypes of a brooklyn italian guy for a minute

were talking smalltime
maybe $50-$100

isiah thomas-holth said...

I'm in for a cash league, mailing checks or pay via paypal....both work.

isiah thomas-holth said...

but if we put money on the line, some people couldn't hide behind their indifference....

El Padrino said...

right

we would need legit names
no dan the mans or other aliases

isiah thomas-holth said...

and I'll make a bet on next week's matchup if weasel finally man's up and makes his Iowa will win 11 (or whatever he said) bet

El Padrino said...

i bought a $500 suicide box today

El Padrino said...

there is 1000 people in it

El Padrino said...

i got a woody just thinking about what ima do with it if i win

also got 2 $100 suicide boxes with 4000 people in it

ToddPacker said...

cash league is good.... but we might need a few rule changes for next year.... limited roster moves and some type of better system for vetoing trades

isiah thomas-holth said...

winner take all on the suicide?

isiah thomas-holth said...

good call EP, if we do a money league we'd have to iron out all the rules, etc ahead of time.

isiah thomas-holth said...

*good call TP

EP to for the suggestion

Professor Chaos said...

Freak's already working on his cloning machine to get a few physical bodies to claim his multiple teams

El Padrino said...

yes unless your down to 10 or so and people want to split

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Fuck

ToddPacker said...

meiz is the best

El Padrino said...

i'm in the $100 one every year
if anyone wants in let me know

it's run off a website, you mail the guy a check, you make your pick by thrusday, totally legit

my unles won 3 years ago and bought a house with the winnings (40K)

El Padrino said...

*uncle

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'd do a LOV cash league for less than $50.

El Padrino said...

that's 3 peeps
who else

ToddPacker said...

regular suicide pool rules, ep

El Padrino said...

www.officefootballpool.com

i'm blocked here on this but this is the site for the $100 suicide pool, if anyone is interested let me know and we'll trade emails

Spaceman Spiff said...

im in for a cash league, 100$ or less

El Padrino said...

yeah pick one team, no spread, cant use the same team twice

Spaceman Spiff said...

you know i cant resist the ac-tion

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Last night was my first completely sober night since May. I'm not kidding.

Spaceman Spiff said...

Biel

Hayden

nuff said

isiah thomas-holth said...

Last night was my first completely sober night since May. I'm not kidding.

I'm sorry for your loss deke.

El Padrino said...

wow deke, you had a nice run

isiah thomas-holth said...

did anyone see the highlight of that jap little leaguer - hit a walk off and it hit that statue in center field straight in the dome piece.

El Padrino said...

saw that zeke
he tattooed it

JFreak said...

Standing ovation for the EP/MVN trade.

El Padrino said...

*bowing

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm not drinking tonight either. Gotta prepare for a long weekend.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Don't know if it was mentioned, but Donald Driver got hurt last night.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Wow. I just looked at that trade. Out fucking standing.

El Padrino said...

driver with a bad injury

still dont know why money players play more than 2 quarters the entire pre-season

El Padrino said...

i cant tell you how pumped i am for footyball

Lou said...

I don't know who she is but I'm adding her to my top 5.

El Padrino said...

and my rogh touch league starts up this sun (exhibtion)

El Padrino said...

nice!

keith s said...

Next weekend is money. Start of college football season and 3-day weekend on top of that.

El Padrino said...

Jonathan Brady

JFreak said...

NASCAR being dumb again

This is ridiculous. NASCAR is renaming it's Cup series Sprint after Spring bought out Nextel.

But when AT&T buys out Cingular, they can't change their name.

Hypocrites.

keith s said...

Forcing NASCAR upon us won't make us like it.

Big Brother's Brother said...

RE: the new top 5er


HFS. wow.

JFreak said...

Mike Vick trading cards.

El Padrino said...

oh yeah i forgot i had to burn my vick jersey and put in on the internet

keith s said...

Just put it outside for the dogs to shit all over it.

keith s said...

Does anyone in our league want Calvin Johnson?

El Padrino said...

for free?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I hate when you go to the pub, and the fucking car race is on. I usually sit there and stare off into space.

keith s said...

Um no. I would just drop him if that were the case. I should probably do this at home since I can't login to my roster at work.

tem said...

NASCAR is dumb.

NASCAR.com is dumber.

and I am a big fan of NASCAR, but lately, they are dumb.

The Ghost of MVN said...

From the WWL:
(statement from press conference)

Sometimes you have to make a decision. Will it be the season or the franchise? Sometimes you have to sacrifice a battle to win the war. In this instance the battle is an entire roster. The Dorothy Mantoothz are in a rebuilding year. Ownership feelz it is in the best interest of the fans, the heart and soul of the Mantoothz, to focus on the future. With those backbones of humanity in mind it was deemd necessary to trade our entire team to the Buttknuckles for their entire squad.

These guys have played hard all season and we are greatful for everything they have brought to the franchise. When facing the Buttknuckles in the future I can't say it will not be a bit awkward. That said, we all run into chicks at the supermarket that we have banged and then slipped out of their apartment while they were in the bafroom. Only this time we can't make up a story about hearing someone in the hall calling for help and going to investigate only to end up in a tangled web of international espionage and deceit that the government forbids us to speak about. Really we wanted you tell you but did not think you would believe us (sorry Beth). No this is different, this is real, this is real life fantasy not real baseball...and it's fun.

So now we turn to the future and welcome the new faces of the Mantoothz to our organization. The players from the Buttknuckles already have great chemistry and we all know you can't teach chemistry, minus several thousand teachers and professors. Anyway we feel they will have a strong and immediate impact on the franchise and within the community. Many business have embraced the change as well offering such promos as half price lap dances everytime Reyes steals a base and 2 for 1 pints every time Sean Casey goes 0 for 5. We think our fans will be pleased.

All this points to a road in the future with an empty horizion. We can not tell what's on the horizion but we do know it's there. With that we say "Welcome" to our new players, our sons of Dorothy, and give a hearty shout of LETS PLAY BALL!!!!

keith s said...

i-2-i with you deke

tem said...

i'd do a money league.

Big Brother's Brother said...

my pants will soiled for months starting next weekend. deitydamn, do i LOVE college footy.

JFreak said...

Keeper league is set at 10 teams.

The draft is Sunday at 10:45 PM ET

JFreak said...

MVN is my hero.

El Padrino said...

what a mission statement

El Padrino said...

keef, i might be
gotta look at your roster

keith s said...

ep
I'll put together an Eli/CJ package for you when I can login there.

The Ghost of MVN said...

someone in the Manthoothz front office is getting fired for their lack of grammar and spell checking.

Spaceman Spiff said...

we have 5 for the cash league, how many do we want, 8?

El Padrino said...

i'll be on the lookout for that keef, i have luke warm interest

El Padrino said...

8 would be good, 8 or 10 is ideal

what about the espn keeper?
cant we make that cash or do we have some john doe's involved

JFreak said...

Depending on how much cash we have to put up, I might be in.

keith s said...

hick hops? hick hops anonymous?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Fantastic

JFreak said...

keeper roster is

freak
blue
el p
spiff
tyler
meiz
zeke
tem
tp
don connolly

Mills said...

middle school = 6-8

junior high = 7 and 8.

we have both in iowa.
-------haven't caught up -- sorry if this is too late.

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