Tuesday, August 28, 2007

1st half diary and Blow review

Let's just get right to it. Temdiary of first haalf of the MNF game.

8pm – 7th word was Michael Vick. Well 7th and 8th. WWL doesn’t waste time. Now Vick is talking. He is retarded. I’m serious. He needs educated. VT must not teach athletes.

8pm – Bud Light is the drink of choice tonight. Why? Because it was on sale.

8:01 – Mike Tirico has a funny bald spot on his head. He has like a widow’s peak or something. I guess you really just have to see it.

8:08 – 2 plays, 2 big gains for the Bengals. They just praised Chad Johnson for a block. His block was shitty. He set the bar low. Good expectations management on his part. 3 helmet stickers.

8:09 - Carson just hit Housh in the head. Incomplete. Carson is pissed. He might have to kick some ass.

8:12 – Lowes commercial with 2 chicks shopping by themselves. That doesn’t happen. Chicks always take guys to Lowe’s with them.

8:13 – Dunn is starting. I am happy I drafted him in some leagues. Of course they haven’t given him the ball. Well 3rd and 15 and they hand it off to him. Petrino just did that to spite me.

8:15 – Jaws and TK are arguing about what a QB is. Jaws “it’s not running around like a crazy guy” to TK’s “it’s not Joey Harrington.” I’m not sure why they are arguing.

8:19 – If you took the over on how many times the announcers would say “Vick” you already won. I don’t even care what the line was set at. You already won.

8:20 – Holcomb to the Vikings just scrolled across the screen. That sucks for Tavarius.

8:21 – Jaws must be getting a hot dog because he hasn’t talked for a minute or two. They even axed him something and he didn’t answer.

8:22 – Jamal Anderson is playing DE for the Falcons. It’s good to know that he recovered from his knee problems and moved from RB to DE. Apparently he is a good DE.
8:25 - Jaws likes to slow down in the middle of a sentence. It is kind of annoying. The he speeds itupattheend. It is weird.

8:26 – Bobby Petrino was a great college coach, so he must be great in the Pros. Just like Carrol and Spurrier.

8:28 – Scooter store commercial followed by a HP Computer commercial telling parents to buy one for their kids. I get it. Buy the scooter for your parents and the computer for the kids. Only people like TP watch MNF.

8:31 – ONSTAR Commercial number 2. This one had Tiger. He is funny. Apparently he always has a 9 iron with him because he was going to use it to get into his car. He didn’t have any other clubs with him.

8:32 – I gotta say Joey H doesn’t look too bad. That means the Bengals D sucks. Of course Harrington’s play fakes just suck. He fakes to nobody.

8:33 – Lowest winning pct with at least 60 starts…..Archie Manning. Hahahahaahhaaha. Of course they make excuses for him.

8:35 – TD Harrington to a wide open guy I never heard of. ATL is running the offense from the second half of Varsity Blues. 5 WRs and make them cover Tweeder one on one.

8:36 – Bud Select has 20 less calories than Bud Light.

8:37 – Arthur Blank looks like a mafia member. I’m just sayin.

8:42 – Jaws says 3 elite QBs. Brady, Manning, Palmer. Umm OK. I think some other folk might disagree. TK certainly does and won’t let it go. Jaws says that’s because McNabb gets hurt….umm like Carson didn’t. Dumbclit. Of course TK fails to bring this up. I swear they turned his mic off.

8:47 – What’s with the green stickers on the Bengal’s helmets? Anyone know?

8:49 – DeAngelo Hall shaved “I own 85” into his head. He is funny. And pretty good. I’d buy a Hall jersey. I bet Rev has one.

8:51 – Jaws “ it is the blitz my friend. Does a goodjobofgettingitonthenumbers of Housh Man Zada.” I am going to hate the Jaws era. He just randomly speeds up and slows down mid sentence.

8:58 - Rudi “gets it a lot.” That’s good to know that he gets it a lot. But it sounds like Henry who has 9 kids with 9 different women gets it more.

9:00 Chad just made DeAngelo Hall look silly. Chad is cool too. Apparently he has already put money away to pay his celebration fines this year.

9:01 Commercial saying MNF starts September 10th….Umm wtf am I watching now?

9:02 – Interview with Mort RE: Vick. I hope he is as accurate as when he said Vick wouldn’t be charged.

9:05 – TD ATL. Of course all we hear is Mort running his mouth. It was a nice TD by Norwood. So far Norwood > Dunn.

9:06 – Mort says 4-5 players have exposure to dog fighting. Mort has 0 credibility RE: dog fighting.

9:10 – Like 10 minutes of pure Vick talking. I am sick of it…..been sick of it.

9:19 - Make that almost 20 minutes. They aren’t even talking about the game. Tirico, Jaws and TK are out getting a beer. Hell they could have fucked two bitches each in this time.

9:20 – Damn Michelle Tafoya is fugly.

9:21 – Palmer to Johnson looks good today. Another big play.

9:23 – Phone calls are slowing me down on the diary. I guess Cinci missed the XP. Fuck it, this is enough of the diary. You get the point. Plus this will be the halftime score. 14-13. Harrington looked good when he wasn't throwing crossing routes.

Finally, Tem movie review of Blow. Which of course he hasn’t seen:

Blow is awesome. It’s about a skinny white chick who loves cocaine. And giving blow jobs. I think Johnny Depp is in it. It sounds like something he’d be into. If he wasn’t in it then it was like he was. Anyway skinny white chick does a great job and you get to see lot of titties. She has to do a lot of things to keep her in the coke. I think she even sold Avon and bought a time share. All sorts of zany plans. Anyway back to the boobs, they are skinny B cups, so that kinda sucks. I think this movie won the Academy Award for best picture and best art.

Anyway 4 out of 5 helmet stickers.


OK have at it bee snatches.

649 comments:

1 – 200 of 649   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

Tem, your comment from yesterday of "and no tits today because we talked too much fantasy" was amazingly accurate.

I was impressed with your insight, but then you had to go and say you hated REM (the band and not the sleep). I've seen them 3X so far and will see them whenever I can. (And I swear I can turn Michael Stipe hetero...)

tem said...

that's what i do best beth. say something cool then immediately ruin it.

tem said...

slow day. it's because of the long post.

Beth said...

I liked the long post.

blue said...

great post tem

i always enjoy reading something in the morning other than "here you go, comment now"

blue said...

as a lions fan, let me tell you about Joey Harrington...he's the greatest pre-season quarterback to ever play the game.

too bad they don't give you credit for preseason.

he'll look good the first 5 or 6 weeks too...then all of a sudden it's like they replaced him with David Hasselhoff

blue said...

Beth...sorry bout the fantasy talk yesterday. It was our goal to drive corbin nuts because he wasn't in our keeper league.

if there were other casualities...well, that's what happens in war.

blue said...

shemmy left our comments up from yesterday

Beth said...

"Beth...sorry bout the fantasy talk yesterday. It was our goal to drive corbin nuts because he wasn't in our keeper league"

Wait, you guys have a keeper league???

(s)

tem said...

i wish i were in the keeper league.

tem said...

Harrington looked great last night.

Norwood did too.

Dunn looked like poop.

Joe Horn looked 100 yrs old.

tem said...

but Joey Harrington > Archie Manning.

at least win pct wise.

blue said...

I remember a few years back, Joey had a huge game the first game of the season against the cardinals. It was mooch's first year as coach. Everyone thought they were going to have a great season. I think they won 4 more games the rest of the year.

Big Brother's Brother said...

this post was too long. lets just get on with the comments.

but good job, jug.

Beth said...

They had a mention in one of the 20 Vick articles in the paper this morning about some guy who changed his "Vick" jersey to "conVickted". Kind of amusing I have to admit (even though Vick was never convicted but instead pled guilty).

Big Brother's Brother said...

beth, your feelings re: "Nightswimming"?

blue said...

he should change it to "conVickt"

because he will be convict #BB10779345879c in the federal correctional system.

I hope they send him to the supermax prison out here in colorado.

El Padrino said...

this is your finest work young man

congratulations

Big Brother's Brother said...

eat balls, Yanks.

Beth said...

BBB, Nightswimming is actually one of my favorite REM songs. So do you love it or loathe it?

Big Brother's Brother said...

"It was the most one-sided road shutout loss in the Yankees' history, topping a 15-0 defeat at the Chicago White Sox on July 15, 1907, according to the Elias Sports Bureau."

El Padrino said...

"8:21 – Jaws must be getting a hot dog because he hasn’t talked for a minute or two. They even axed him something and he didn’t answer"

my personal favorite

Big Brother's Brother said...

it makes me tear up.

El Padrino said...

and the green sticker is the QB helmet

El Padrino said...

mornin tps mugged me in the elevator, stole my wallet
i'm cancelling my amex now

tem said...

zeke noticed that one too in LOV AD.

tem said...

he even knew the question they axed him.

tem said...

i later noticed that the falcon QB had the sticker too.

never once thought it was just QBs who have it though.

i learnt something today.

tem said...

also zeke axed why joey's eyes are so beedy. is he part asian?


i did not know the answer.

blue said...

pre-season makes me tired

blue said...

too many players

Big Brother's Brother said...

and B, its my favorite by far.

blue said...

Joey's little brother went to Idaho, they are not part asian, they are irish...he is cousins with that golfer guy Padraig

Big Brother's Brother said...

asians dont pray footbarr.

Big Brother's Brother said...

and his step-brother Al has a nice inside game and a soft touch.

blue said...

*pianist

El Padrino said...

blue i saw that

Mills said...

i am luanching my own attack against big d.

Mills said...

he put steven jackson over LDT in his fantasy guide. you know nothing gets me more riled.

Mills said...

nice post temwr.

blue said...

"he put steven jackson over LDT in his fantasy guide. you know nothing gets me more riled."

I actually thought about this in our keeper league. I think SJ has a ton ton ton of keeper value, and I think LDT's numbers will be down this year with the new offense, but I still couldn't pull that trigger.

tem said...

"asians dont pray footbarr."

actually the falcons had some asian guy trying to make the team.

he was a little WR. it was cute.

ToddPacker said...

looks like i missed a good afternoon of comments yesterday

Mills said...

Keeper is different Blue. Jax is 3-4 years younger.

LDT has lots of miles.

I would argue it is the wrong pick, but still at least that would be definisble in a keeper league.

Mills said...

meeting. later.

Beth said...

"and the green sticker is the QB helmet"

Actually, I'd heard that it's to indicate that the helmet has communications equipment in it.

ToddPacker said...

philly fans are filthy... no offense to rev

ToddPacker said...

re: helmet sticker

beth knows all

blue said...

beth is correct, although the only person allowed to have a green sticker is the QB.

The reason for the green dot is because of players like the backup QB in seattle who sometimes play WR. He has to have a separate helmet.

blue said...

Tem-

your review of Blow was great

Big Brother's Brother said...

yeah, u probably dont want to send that wired up helmet on a cross pattern through the middle of the field.

Big Brother's Brother said...

Bluetooth, was FotC any good sunday?

blue said...

I've missed the last 3 FotCs...i have them on my tivo, just need to get around to watching them

ToddPacker said...

"Bluetooth"


mad me laugh

El Padrino said...

Being charged 100% on Microvision

El Padrino said...

sorry wrong copy and paste

El Padrino said...

i meant this, fucking tps


BROKEBACK BATHROOM: SENATOR BUSTED IN AIRPORT SEX STING...

Big Brother's Brother said...

one of our web-based programs is down this morning. so then i hear The Sleeper get on the horn *immediately*. good job, someone's turning it into the help desk.. nice.

15 minutes later, as he is re-reading the error message loudly and slowly to the help desk.... he comes across this part that says "CALL THIS NUMBER ________".

apparently he called whoknowswhereelse and was trying to get Ahmir to understand our system. its amazing how much it helps to call the... right... place. amazing.

go back to sleep, mayne.

blue said...

miss teen south carolina on youtube

amazingly after this answer she didn't win the competition

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I need to hit the lotto.

tem said...

tuesdays are always filled with more work than mondays.

tem said...

me too deke.

megamillions needs to be mine.

ToddPacker said...

he got busted in a minneapolis airport..... Kod?

blue said...

yeah, Larry Craig is a real hero to Kod and americans like him

blue said...

even worse, Larry Craig was in position to be in Mitt Romney's cabinet or run as his VP, if Romney got elected as president.

Not anymore.

blue said...

stupid senators from Idaho

Beth said...

The Miss South Carolina teen pagaent answer is quite amazing, so here's a non-youtube version of it so everyone can enjoy it.

(I was just getting ready to post this link when blue beat me to it.)

ToddPacker said...

blocked

El Padrino said...

the article on sen kod

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Big weekend coming up. Wine & Harvest festival. Deee-runk

blue said...

a transcript of the south carolina girl's Q&A.

Question: Recent polls have shown that 1/5th of american's can locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?

Response: I personally believe that US americans are unable to do so because, uhhh, some, people out there in our nation don't have maps, and I believe that our eh, education, like such as South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere, like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the US, should help the US, or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the asian countries. So we will be able to build up our future.

Big Brother's Brother said...

pat on the head to Beth for the attempt. its appreciated.

::breast pound::

ToddPacker said...

"senator kod" was funny

Big Brother's Brother said...

that nickname is sticking, fo sho.

tem said...

SC girl sounds awesome.

El Padrino said...

Lewd

i like that word

El Padrino said...

what was her talent?

deep throat?

El Padrino said...

Manny Noriega headed to France

so no NORE he's not in the Phillipines


what
what
what
what
what
what
what what

Big Brother's Brother said...

ok, so a Temcap for weazy..

place bag at front of stall, tap foot, possible use of foot-to-foot contact may be needed. tap as desired. shake well. refrigerate.

Beth said...

Good thing she's very pretty, she certainly isn't going to make it based on her smarts.

El Padrino said...

nerd unlocked iphone gets new whip and 8 more

Beth said...

OK, one more attempt for a non-blocked video of Miss S.C.

Big Brother's Brother said...

and im thinking Nerd sold himself a little short on that. (ns)

blue said...

see beth, all those links you're sending just have the youtube clip embedded. screw nazis that don't allow youtube at work.

ToddPacker said...

blocked on all vids....

blue said...

"and im thinking Nerd sold himself a little short on that. (ns)"

probably, but he got a job out of it too.

If somebody wanted to give me a nissan 350z for 500 hours of work, i'd take it.

ToddPacker said...

i wonder if that nerd can do some work on my direct tv receiver?... i miss the days of free tv

El Padrino said...

he could be the next sergey or bill g

El Padrino said...

she's a teenager right?

Beth said...

Blue, I figured if the actual web address wasn't from youtube it wouldn't be blocked, but I guess the work police are much more sophisticated than that.

Big Brother's Brother said...

beth is gunning for the Power Rankings and i will put my vote in for her.

still blocked, but the effort is nice to see. these young kids gotta play with a sense of desperation if they wanna make the playoffs..

tem said...

"and im thinking Nerd sold himself a little short on that. (ns) "

i was thinking that too until the part where he also gets a paid consulting gig.

tem said...

SC girls new answer:

"Personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on a map,” she said. “I don’t know anyone else who doesn’t. If the statistics are correct, I believe there should be more emphasis on geography in our education so people will learn how to read maps better."

blue said...

*read maps good

blue said...

I guess she was slightly embarrassed.

the chick who won was from Colorado...I am not stalking her....yet

Big Brother's Brother said...

i was thinking that too until the part where he also gets a paid consulting gig."

this is where reading the actual story can help. nevermind what i thought. that was then, this is now.

El Padrino said...

how bout briggs

totalling his car, leaving it there, maybe because he was under the influence?

it's a nice story

Beth said...

Miss Teen SC on the Today Show this morning talking about it.

(Sorry but it's youtube.)

El Padrino said...

mississippi fatness

tem said...

HUNGRY

Beth said...

EP, you could've labeled that link Southern Fatness, as the top 8 states are southern states. (GA was 14th in case you're wondering.)

blue said...

fried pickles are awesome

Beth said...

And tem with the hunger MADNESS comment.

Spaceman Spiff said...

the weekend needs to show up, now

Spaceman Spiff said...

love the final quote of that fat article

El Padrino said...

as ired this article two of the fattest people i have ever seen waddled past my section

ToddPacker said...

"because we're going to be all fat and dead"

Spaceman Spiff said...

hilarious

youtube clip, fat chick running and some

isiah thomas-holth said...

T had an impressive run last night.

I didn't see a lot of the game, but Walton has been in the zone for every broadcast.

Someone is feeding him stats and historical info from a travelers guide and he's running with it.

isiah thomas-holth said...

98 deeegrees at 8:15 AM

MAKE IT STOP

isiah thomas-holth said...

beazy is awesome

(S)

El Padrino said...

spiff that was fantastic

El Padrino said...

SCHWEATY BALLZ

ToddPacker said...

schweaty - one of the best snl skits

isiah thomas-holth said...

no doubt Briggs was sippin on some sizzyrup when he crashed.

El Padrino said...

yea, no brainer
he's laughing at goodell right now

El Padrino said...

u think bout that mcnabb deal?

Spaceman Spiff said...

freak, are you gonna lock the rosters or not

isiah thomas-holth said...

I can't deal my boy Evans.

El Padrino said...

deke i sent u an offer
lof for talk

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

okay.

Mills said...

freak, are you gonna lock the rosters or not
----------
he needs to, or this crap will just continue.

who is dorthy mantooth anyway?

El Padrino said...

MVN

El Padrino said...

blue offer extended in yahoo

El Padrino said...

early lunch time

isiah thomas-holth said...

praise allah

JFreak said...

Go Idaho.

Lou said...

Awsome!!!

Lou said...

That's how we roll in NC, baby!

blue said...

Idaho being ranked in the bottom 10 is a regular thing. They'll get throttled by USC this weekend. Not sure they'll lose by 45, but it'll be ugly

tem said...

go Vandals

tem said...

hot teacher's are nice.

Spaceman Spiff said...

usc is gonna take a dump on idaho, drop brown potatoes all over

El Padrino said...

i have to start my nfl preview soon

El Padrino said...

usc will cover the 45 blue

49-3 final

tem said...

haha fat running lady lost.

tem said...

then fell....haahhahaha awesome.

El Padrino said...

two defensive td's to boot

ToddPacker said...

is the college pick'em thing with or without the spread?

El Padrino said...

yeah that vid is hilarious

tem said...

it would have been better if she was fatter

The Ghost of MVN said...

Do I not have the right to feild a team of catchers? Maybe I am the only one who finds comedy in this.

Beckett and Morneau are lucky they can't be cut or they would be in Single A right now playing in front of 1,500 people on Autozone "free gallon of washer fluid" night.

tem said...

you can do what ever you want.

The Ghost of MVN said...

"he needs to, or this crap will just continue"

Sometimes the game plays the player

I keepz it rizzle

tem said...

the humor in this = the humor in vetoing pretty much every trade that was attempted in the league.

same humor lvl.

but eft or else tits will leave.

The Ghost of MVN said...

"you can do what ever you want"

tem you would make a great jr. high counselor.

tem said...

if i were a jr. high counselor it would be "you can do whatever you want as long as you leave me alone"

tem said...

it's not the kids i hate. it's the parents.


parents are retarded.

The Ghost of MVN said...

The sky has no limit Johnny. Your future is a big as you can dream.

tem said...

you apparently have training in the jr. high counselor field.

that was fantastic.

blue said...

USC will score more like 62...49 is a little too soft.

tem said...

they will score 69.

tem said...

and idaho will score 13.

blue said...

"is the college pick'em thing with or without the spread?"

it started without the spread but meiz asked for the spread to go along with everything.

when I looked at it, just picking straight games in CFB is way way too easy, but I can change it back if you guys want.

isiah thomas-holth said...

why did freak change the number of playoff teams from 8 to 4?

blue said...

the only reason I say 45 is tough to cover is because it's the first game of the season....and 45 is a lot of points.

Idaho has their whole defense back...granted it was a bad one to begin with.

blue said...

although they could use 16 guys on defense and still not keep SC from scoring 35

El Padrino said...

i'm not in the college one
i dont know what happened

blue said...

you can still sign up if you want

ToddPacker said...

"when I looked at it, just picking straight games in CFB is way way too easy"

yeah i thought the same.... there is only 1 or 2 tough games (without the spread) on the ncaa pick'em this week

tem said...

oh i better change my picks then if it is with the spread.

tem said...

i made my picks several days ago because it was easy.

ToddPacker said...

i did too, tem

El Padrino said...

for those poor saps who missed "the departed" they are running it on one of the Max channels now so no excuses

El Padrino said...

what's the info blue

isiah thomas-holth said...

I've peeped game on TD the last two nights.

El Padrino said...

i get pissed for some reason when
SPOILER, SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!





SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!





the nobody cupcake that graduated the academy with damon puts one in Leo, just cuz he's a nobody that's why i was happy when damon bucked his ass, it's a swing in emotion

isiah thomas-holth said...

there's no need for spoiler alerts the movie is almost a year old

isiah thomas-holth said...

Leo getting popped like that was bullshit.

El Padrino said...

for real

El Padrino said...

trade done

lof for discussion if any

ToddPacker said...

that trade is crap.... you guys are making a joke of the keeper league

ToddPacker said...

i'm sick of people not taking fantasy sports serious

El Padrino said...

i take it very serious
i think it's fair
what's wrong with it

El Padrino said...

that's why im trading
because i want to win
auto draft fucked me and i'm making it better

ToddPacker said...

sorry.... i left off the (s) on both comments..... trade is ok with me

El Padrino said...

oh

ToddPacker said...

just joking, ep..... trying to pump up tem's low comment totals today

El Padrino said...

got it

tem said...

i have not seen the departed.

now i know what happens though.

tem said...

tuesdays are tough days sometimes.

tem said...

i expect LOV AD to pick up the slack.

Lou said...

Conservatives are funny

ToddPacker said...

mets/phils game 2 tonight..... mets gotta take game 2.... can't give the phils any hope of the sweep

tem said...

why not us? with a sweep?

keith s said...

I didn't see TP's Met's update from last night.

keith s said...

Wow, i2i

blue said...

College pick'em signup ID is 1513 and password is teejer.

NFL pick'em for those who want to sign up ID is 2377 and password is pathword

ToddPacker said...

"I didn't see TP's Met's update from last night"


no.... tps hit me hard first thing in the AM

ToddPacker said...

i did drop a comment about the phils fans being filthy

ToddPacker said...

i really hate chase utley...

ToddPacker said...

using "teejer" as the password is funny

blue said...

phils fans should take more showers

ToddPacker said...

a rare LoV prime-time natty

blue said...

Lohan's sex scene from her recent movie

I have been told it might be nsfw

ToddPacker said...

"phils fans should take more showers"


i don't think that will work.... they need mr wolf and jimmie to hose them down in the back yard

blue said...

they didn't even give rev spong bath's when he was in the hospital...filthy is right.

tem said...

i need an el pad review on that sex scene rightnow.

blue said...

now that i've watched the whole "sex scene" it's more funny than anything, and although I watched it without the sound, there is no nudity so I don't see why it would be NSFW.

tem said...

also it's skittles time!


O/U on purple and red is 24.5.

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