Tuesday, August 14, 2007

1 More day?

Is this the day before the LOV 1 year anniversary? I think it is. If not it is really soon. I guess that's some sort of accomplishment, but I don't know. It's definitely made the last year of work go by a little quicker, so that is cool. I ain't going to wax poetically about LOV, but if the 1yr thing is true then that is cool.

Random side note: Wax poetically might be the gayest thing I have ever written.

Does anyone else here think that they could totally write a good novel? I am convinced I could come up with some decent shit to publish. I think my downfall would be being too concise. I'm a man of few words. Not that it shows from my posts as I routinely post in Rev like proportions. In any case, if I ever get bored enough I might write me a book. 100% chance the phrase panda dick would be in there. 110% all hat and no cattle would make it too.

Random Side Note: Sorry ladies, you are just poor drivers. Someone needs to put a stop to it. Just stop driving, I know everyone says that females suck at driving and its totally true. I am tired of talking about it though. It's time to start slashing tires and shit.

Well it is possible that some folk want some sports info posted here. Well I don't feel like writing about how fucked Vick is. He is very fucked. I will write about how Tim Wakefield either pitches a gem or just gets shelled. I guess that's the life of a knuckleballer. He pitched a gem last night. I can't really say much else happened last night. MNF was on and it was cool. You can see my comments on that in the comments section from yesterday. In more wholesome sports news, the Little League World Series is approaching. I wonder if El Pad bets on that. In fantasy football news it looks like Thomas Jones should be OK for the start of the season, but his injury will cause him to slide in drafts. LJ might be signing soon, that'll be good for the Chiefs fans...umm all 1 or 0 who read this.

Random side note: I hate the fade route. I swear that fucker has about a 5% success rate. Why do teams ever run that shit? The fade thing where they throw a bullet behind the receiver is much better. It works at least 12% of the time. Fade routes are just a waste of a down. Especially in the NFL, defenders are too good and surprisingly the QBs aren't anywhere near as accurate as they need to be. Fuck the fade.

Tem movie review of a movie I have never seen:

Red Eye is about the crazy dude from Batman who gets on an early morning flight and tries to get some chick to join the mile high club with him. I am pretty sure he is playing the exact same character. The movie makers don't even pretend he is a different guy. Anyway, the chick refuses and he goes all sorts of crazy and does some fucked up things. Eventually they land and he fucks with her some more then the cops catch him. Nothing was really cool in this movie. No titties. If you want to see a movie about a plane then watch Passenger 57 or Omar Epps' follow up Passenger 58. Red Eye gets 1 helmet sticker out of 5.

622 comments:

1 – 200 of 622   Newer›   Newest»
tem said...

the time stamp on the post is for when i started writing it. i don't like that.

tem said...

ha, i changed it.

i am so smrt.

Big Brother's Brother said...

you are crafty.

a wily vet, in fact.

Beth said...

For the record Tem, I agree with you about MOST lady drivers. Of course I'm the exception. :-)

One of my favorite scenes from The Office (paraphrased obviously):

Pam (referring to Asians in a roleplaying game): If I were to go on a stereotype, which I totally don't agree with, some people might say you're not a very good driver.

Dwight: Oh man, I'm a woman!?!?

tem said...

yeah i am at the breaking point with it.

starting today i slash the old women's tires. they are the worst.

Beth said...

Oh if it's an OLD woman then you're definitely doomed. That combines 2 of the worst categories of drivers out there.

El Padrino said...

i hope no one owns a nokia

El Padrino said...

like i do

blue said...

what level of fucked is vick?

El Padrino said...

nokia recalls 46 million batteries


yes i said million

El Padrino said...

i like this post
and i do not bet on LLWS
if i could however, I would

so sad

El Padrino said...

red eye's review is creative
untrue but creative
i like where ytour heads at on the mile high angle

nice work

El Padrino said...

it's good to be back to a gordo, ruthless murderer

Big Brother's Brother said...

look out for the retard stamp too. aka, the handicap logo ON the license plate. then you know youre fucked.

tem said...

but it does have the crazy guy from batman in it right?

tem said...

vick is 5th lvl fucked.

Big Brother's Brother said...

Old People: What's Your Worth?

tem said...

TPS shit storm has started.

I must clean up a mess for a bit.

Big Brother's Brother said...

yeah tem, Scarecrow is all up in that bitch.

Beth said...

Apparently if Vick wants to do a plea he only has until Friday now to do it.

Beth said...

And in Georgia we have special "educator" license plates for teachers. I've noticed they're right up there with gray-haireds in driving ability.

blue said...

why would they even offer vick a deal now. He's not going to turn on some dude they haven't charged yet

El Padrino said...

beth is the lisa lampanelli of LOV

El Padrino said...

speaking of batman, pumped for Dark Knight

blue said...

catching up on last nights comments.

I watch that show My Boys on TBS. The first season was better than this season so far but it's an alright show. Jim Gaffigan is one of my favorite comedians and he is pretty good on it.

blue said...

I also watched the summer finale of Hells Kitchen. I don't know if anybody else watches that show, but it's pretty good. Big Black dude won and then he cried.

Beth said...

"beth is the lisa lampanelli of LOV"

I had no idea who that even was EP til I googled her. Now I'm hurt.

(s)

And I also watch My Boys when I can. It's a good quality show but for some reason I rarely catch it when it's on. Blue, the girl on My Boys - hot or not?

El Padrino said...

beth watch her on the flava flav roast, the abuse she takes on the dais but when it's her turn.....holy shit it's hysterical

El Padrino said...

i peep hells kitchen from time to time, forgot last night was the last one

blue said...

the chick on my boys is hot. I'd hit it.

she used to be on some other show when she was younger and she wasn't as hot back then

Beth said...

Wait, are you saying you liked the flava fav roast EP? I'm not clear on that.

(s)

El Padrino said...

barbie has lead = barbie has the herp

El Padrino said...

let me be clarify

the flava flav roast is excellent

El Padrino said...

she's not the worlds oldest person anymore

Beth said...

Blue, I agree with you about the chick on My Boys.

blue said...

japan's life expectancy has increased since hiroshima. coincidence? I think not.

El Padrino said...

i need a link to confirm bangability

El Padrino said...

spiff you dirty rat

you ruined my joba woody

Beth said...

EP, she's more the girl next door type, but here's your link.

blue said...

my boys chick

all the pics on that thread are pretty good

Big Brother's Brother said...

hmm, she better have a great personality.

blue said...

bbb is ridiculous

blue said...

I say in honor of the LOV one year anniversary tomorrow, Beth should bake us all a cake.

Beth said...

BBB, you need to watch the show. She looks better "in person" than she does in pics, but I do think she still looks decent in pics.

Beth said...

Why me bake a cake? Oh wait, I get it! It's cause I'm a woman! Damn Blue, that's funny. I never realized more women than men cook until your comment. Thanks for the eye-opener!

:-)

blue said...

actually I just wanted to see a picture of you wearing nothing but an apron ;)

El Padrino said...

she aiight, i'd have to dress her up a bit

maybe a womder woman outfit or something

blue said...

maybe it's the fact that she plays poker and likes sports. I don't know.

Beth said...

"she aiight, i'd have to dress her up a bit
maybe a womder woman outfit or something"

Or a Braves #10 jersey...

blue said...

are you saying that she looks like Larry 'chipper' Jones?

El Padrino said...

negative, unless it was pink
that might work

but boyshorts are a must

Big Brother's Brother said...

maybe a womder woman outfit or something"


good call EP. now im feelin it.

El Padrino said...

mind over matter bbb

blue said...

that HBO show "john from cincinnati" is being cancelled. I never watched it even once.

blue said...

I just overheard a lady complaining to HR because her hand hurts from too much typing. And she said that she complained in her annual review that her "workload was just too much for any one person to handle"

I laughed hard.

Beth said...

"but boyshorts are a must"

What is it with guys and boyshorts? I've been hearing more and more guys talking about how much they like women wearing them. I mean they're comfortable but I didn't realize they were considered so sexy too.

tem said...

why do they call them boy shorts? boys don't wear shorts like that

El Padrino said...

they are tight
they are short

nuff said

whocares said...

"What is it with guys and boyshorts?"




Dumbest. Question. Ever.

Beth said...

Good question tem.

Beth said...

See, I disagree WC. I'd have thought thongs would be more appealing but I've had guys tell me they prefer boy shorts on women.

El Padrino said...

something about the way that cloth surronds those buttcheeks and holds them up for you to grab/hold/slap/pound

(see Aniston in Along came Polly for a boyshort moment)

i cant explain it, it's science baby

El Padrino said...

the thong still has a place in my heart, always will

El Padrino said...

nothing like a string that goes up the crack of a nice ass

El Padrino said...

is that a panty/underwear Z?

El Padrino said...

yessir

whocares said...

Thongs are overrated.


Yeah, I said it.

tem said...

i wear really baggy shorts. i don't wanna see a chick in shorts like that.

tem said...

in any case boyshorts keep the ass tighter than a thong does.

and it hides fatty ass.

thongs just let fatty ass hang out in all its grossness.

El Padrino said...

Overated is strong language.

El Padrino said...

blessed be

tem said...

blessed be


and even though it is from the bible it is kinda nsfw. but for most of you it is fine.

El Padrino said...

thong

El Padrino said...

whoa
you owe me a coke

whocares said...

Wow.

Same link, same time. Impressive.

tem said...

From wiki:

They are a relatively new, but increasingly popular style of lingerie among women and are named for their similarity in looks to men's shorts.



I may be questioning my belief in the bible. These shorts look nothing like my shorts.

whocares said...

Could they have found a nastier chick for the thong picture?

tem said...

damn el pad beat me to the punch.

blue said...

"odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about"

blue said...

"I may be questioning my belief in the bible. These shorts look nothing like my shorts"

you're not a little boy, your a man.

they aren't called 'man shorts'

El Padrino said...

nice old skool ref

blue said...

nevermind, that last comment made me sound like a catholic priest

Big Brother's Brother said...

tramp stamp, how fitting.

tem said...

they could have one yeah.


if an 8Z wore a thong that would be nastier.

El Padrino said...

beth shouldnt be concerned with this topic anyway, she wears zero underwear

tem said...

blue sounding like a pedophile not withstanding, i think that explanation will do for me.

tem said...

zero underwear = shaved bush.

otherwise it'd get stuck in her zipper.

blue said...

this guy who owns the mine in Utah is fucking crazy, if he thinks the dudes are still alive down there

Beth said...

So that raises a good point EP.

Is commando > boy shorts?

Is commando > thong?

blue said...

commando has been done to death by britney spears

she ruined it for me

Big Brother's Brother said...

being a skank never gets old. flabby, exposed vageen is to die for.

tem said...

there is a time and place for all of the above.

blue said...

and that place is college

El Padrino said...

beth you might think i'm nuts but it depends

commando whilst wearing a skirt > then anything

rmoving tight jeans to reveal tight ass boyshorts > then anything

it all depends

thongs work well with tight pants, preferably white

El Padrino said...

i'm a sick, sick man

*vortex

Beth said...

EP, I already knew you were nuts, I mean you're a Mets fan for god's sake!

But just to let you know, I've tried all those options listed in your comment at least once... ;-)

tem said...

deke is pissed b/c el pad mixed up then and than.

tem said...

any input re: fade route?

Big Brother's Brother said...

eff the fade, run the go

Big Brother's Brother said...

unless youre Desmond Howard

tem said...

the utah miners might be alive blue.

and sadly the mine owner would get all sorts of bad press and lawsuits if he didn't do everything he could to try to find their dead bodies.


if he just said fuck it, they're dead, he would be on the news 24/7 and in court for about 10 years arguing with relatives of the dead miners.

tem said...

the go doesn't work well either inside the 5.

Big Brother's Brother said...

and that kids, was pure insanity.

tem said...

slants, crossing routes and out routes.

tackle eligible has a better sucess rate than the fade.

El Padrino said...

Fade route is dumb

blue said...

I like the fade for a haircut option

Beth said...

Ok, I try not to ask obvious "chick questions" but I have to here. For those of us that don't get into Madden, what's a fade route?

El Padrino said...

QB takes a step back and lobs a pass to the corner receiver before the defender can turn around hoping the WR jumps up at the right time and snatch it for TD

Spaceman Spiff said...

boy shorts are great because of the way you can only see the bottom of the cheeks hangin there, just looks nice

El Padrino said...

like an apple

Spaceman Spiff said...

any coach who calls 3 unsuccessful fade routes from the goal line should be fired on the spot

whocares said...

I kind of like the fade route.

whocares said...

When you got Moss or TO or a 6-3+ WR vs. a 5-10 CB, just lob that bitch up there and hope.



I would say the success rate is way better than 5%.

Big Brother's Brother said...

i too enjoy a high fade

tem said...

I stand by my 5% comment.

The fade hardly ever works.

Big Brother's Brother said...

manning and marvin enjoy it.

tem said...

manning throws the "underthrown" fade where it is short of the DB and not over him.

that has a 12% sucess rate.


plus manning and marvin are really good. most players aren't that good. see Trent Dilfer to Ashlie Lelie.

Beth said...

OK, I knew what the fade route was, just not by its name.

whocares said...

I would put the success rate more around 30%.

whocares said...

What did you call it before you knew to call it a fade route?

blue said...

you run the fade once from inside the 5, if it doesn't work, you go to option B.

If you run the fade unsuccesfully more than once in a series inside the 5, you suck

blue said...

some people call it a "jump ball"

El Padrino said...

dub c when properely used i agree
your exmaple would work

i think what we or what tem is sayin is it's overused AND used by the wrong people

#13 on the 49ers shouldnt be throwing fade routes

Big Brother's Brother said...

The "oh catchitcatchithcatchit!!" play.

tem said...

yesterday the niners were trying it.

i think the QB threw it about 8 yards out of bounds.

blue said...

some receivers are better than others at catching it. same with QB's throwing it.

if a corner gets beat on a fade, they pretty much suck, or are too short.

blue said...

I personally like the statue of liberty when inside the 5

El Padrino said...

just seems like a waste of a down inside the 10 for me

only a couple of combos work

moss from brady
kitna to roy
eli to plax
palmer to Housh

that's about it i think, you can throw in a few more maybe

blue said...

Phil Rizzuto completed the trifecta of deaths.

did anybody have rizzuto?

tem said...

no, nobody had him.


nobody even tries for the ice cream anymore.

tem said...

which is good for me because mailing ice cream is expensive.

well at least packaging it is.

El Padrino said...

Scooter!

blue said...

Lane Kiffin looked at the raiders game film and got so sick he had to go to the hospital true story

blue said...

You know KC is hurting for Wide Receivers when they are signing guys out of the Arena league.

El Padrino said...

great career
sad to see scooter go

tem said...

actually i heard that al davis had finally perfected a way to steal a younger persons life energy.


that's why he hired the young coach.

to steal his mojo.

tem said...

HUNGRY.

Big Brother's Brother said...

"#13 on the 49ers shouldnt be throwing fade routes"

troof, their attempts sucked balls.

El Padrino said...

i should be playing madden right now

Beth said...

Whenever I think of Rizzuto I think of "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" by Meatloaf.

Spaceman Spiff said...

noooooooooooooooooooooooooo, the skins signed todd stinkston, why, they dont need WRs

blue said...

whenever I think of Rizzuto I think of the keychain that george had on seinfeld that fell into a pothole and got covered up

"Holy Cow"

isiah thomas-holth said...

who was the 2nd death in the trifecta?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Thongs are overrated. "

Agreed.

Boy shorts are pheeenomonal. Especially as a swimsuit bottom.

blue said...

merv Griffin

Brian Adams (Crush)

Phil Rizzuto

trifecta

isiah thomas-holth said...

boyshorts are great but you have to account for the false advertising factor.

thongs have that wysiwyg factor.

isiah thomas-holth said...

ah yes, Crush

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Moss has made a career off of catching fades.

Big Brother's Brother said...

i was at a Sal yesterday and they had an old framed poster of the NYY. it had Bernie, Jeter and Pettite and it said "franchise futures" or something similiar.

Not pictured: Andy's cane and Bernie's respirator.

isiah thomas-holth said...

Aug 14 Zumaya (finger) retired two of the three batters he faced in his first rehab appearance for Triple-A Toledo on Monday. His fastball topped out at 94 mph, the Detroit Free Press reports.


BOING!

isiah thomas-holth said...

was Jeters Herpe medicine in frame?

Bruce Nolan said...

The fire sale is now. Send me trade offers as to why I should give you my players. Best reason wins.

Big Brother's Brother said...

zoom - giggity

isiah thomas-holth said...

Bruce - sent

blue said...

I don't think it'll matter, all of them will end up vetoed.

But I sent you something anyway Bruce

Bruce Nolan said...

"Because I'm not Mills or Corbin" while being an excellent reason, I'm looking for something deeper.

blue said...

maybe we should have a bidding war on LoF

El Padrino said...

trade me players so i can ruin playoff hopes for the next two teams i face

blue said...

that's not a bad reason EP, except that you play me one of those weeks.

blue said...

bruce, take your pick of all the players on my team and give me peavy in return.

blue said...

nobody is untouchable.

isiah thomas-holth said...

"Because I'm not Mills or Corbin"


Damnit. I thought it would work.

isiah thomas-holth said...

I'll solve world hunger if I get peavy.

isiah thomas-holth said...

Jake Peavy....completes me.

blue said...

zeke-

we had the exact same original "reason" for getting peavy

Big Brother's Brother said...

im vetoing all this bullshit. it must stop.

El Padrino said...

imus got 20MM

El Padrino said...

nappy headed ho's

El Padrino said...

cha ching

isiah thomas-holth said...

well it seems like the best reason.

blue said...

TMQ is too long

isiah thomas-holth said...

NEW TJW!!!!!!!!!!

Bruce Nolan said...

It's a very excellent reason. I just figured that everyone was going to use it. With that said, I'm going to disappear again. Final decision will come down Wednesday night.

isiah thomas-holth said...

TJW goes Babe Ruth on us! He's calling his shot!

isiah thomas-holth said...

We'll need to schedule a chat with TJW after this weekend.

(ns)

isiah thomas-holth said...

Bruce I pulled my offer, I can't make anything resembling an even trade, good luck with your sell-off.

blue said...

TJW diary:

--People say he's lost his mojo. LoV is people. And he has lost it.

--Teejer has the house to himself this coming weekend, which means panty party...or lots of internet porn

--Teejer has decided he will bang 3 different chicks this weekend. Does beating off to 3 different webcasts count?

--Teejer gives the odds of him banging chicks this weekend. Unfortunately he does not offer and O/U, as I would be taking the over obviously.

--teejer needs a haircut.

Big Brother's Brother said...

"We'll need to schedule a chat with TJW after this weekend."

u think he can pencil (crayon) us in this late?

El Padrino said...

some dark knight fodder

blue said...

diary addition:

--teejer refers to himself as a secret agent ala Jason Bourne. or perhaps maybe more like that guy Chuck from that new show coming this fall on NBC. Which ironically was the sponsor of this weeks TJW diary.

isiah thomas-holth said...

I was tired of fucking every single random broad I met.

As you can see my thought process basically decided where I had the best chance to get laid. As it has been 3 months

isiah thomas-holth said...

Since his parents might be back next week he might not be allowed to chat here.

Big Brother's Brother said...

we'll have to catch him while he's "live blogging" the bang session.

isiah thomas-holth said...

the chick who shot her preacher husband dead could go free today after only 7 months in lock-up.

isiah thomas-holth said...

Yet vick could get 6 years for killing some dogs?


W.....T.....F?

blue said...

I hope Vick gets life

isiah thomas-holth said...

I could see a Teej live blog "update" as something like this:

Dateline: Mom and Dad's Basement, 7:50 PM

"Have to hurry eh, the chick I bought is only here for another 10 minutes and I still can't get it up, brb"

isiah thomas-holth said...

I think its a farce if Vick spends 1 day behind bars for killing some dogs.

DOGS! 6 years.

that's crazy talk

Big Brother's Brother said...

zeke, i thought the exact same thing when they mentioned the 6 yrs on SC this morning.

isiah thomas-holth said...

this chick spent 5 months in jail awaiting her trial....

only 2 months in a mental health facility...

then will be free! FREE!

for blasting dood with a shotty!

2 months!

blue said...

I hope it's more than 6 years

El Padrino said...

hoopla

the deal he will strike will be some house arrest shit

maybe a couple of months in a soft pen, maybe

isiah thomas-holth said...

if Vick doesn't plea aren't they slapping him with mo charges?

mo charges prob = mo yurs in jail

6+ for killing dogs. re-read that.

blue said...

maybe vick can plead insanity

see the preacher man could defend himself. He put his faith in God and God decided that he should get shot in the head.

These dogs can't defend themselves, they can't even beat other dogs.

isiah thomas-holth said...

I think blue mentioned this and ESPN's legal guy said it too....

what will he plea to? what agreement will he make?

unless he gives up a bigger racket he has no leverage.

Big Brother's Brother said...

dark knight = hotness. thank you chris nolan for keeping it dark.

isiah thomas-holth said...

IT'S JUST DOGS!!!!!

Big Brother's Brother said...

tell em the dogs bit him.

isiah thomas-holth said...

I've only heard audio of Black Knight and it gave me a chub. Almost full fledged wood.

El Padrino said...

his boys are yellow

that's all i know

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