Tuesday, July 17, 2007

This is the title

Starting out with a random side note: There are these new commercials for some sort of acne wash. They say things like "our acne wash is better than a midget magician." Well first of all, I highly doubt that because midgets are awesome. And second, WGAF??? Shouldn't they be comparing themselves to some other acne thing? I hate advertising people.

Anyway, in the world of sports Sheets got put on the DL. Meiz will have the scoop so axe him about it. The White Sox almost blew a big lead but didn't. They are as bad as some girls I dated in high school. They almost blew it, but didn't. Fuckers.

In the world of soccer Beckham is hurt already and his debut is in doubt. I only bring this up because I thought his contract thing was signed like 5 months ago. WTF is taking so long for his debut?? I know we discussed his 100M$ deal a long time ago and he is just now making his debut? Soccer is dumb.

Random Side Note 2: I couldn't peep that Accepted flick. It wasn't an On Demand thing. That pisses me off.

AFL TIME: That's right all caps on that baby. The Destroyers made the AFL Championship game. They get to play for the Arena Cup now. Actually I doubt that is the name of the trophy, but nobody here knows any better, so I'll totally get away with it. Anyway, yours truly is going to New Orleans to check this out. I have never been to New Orleans so feel free to comment on some things that I need to do down there. Anything involving nekkid chicks, beer/liquor, and Cajun food will be high on my list. I'd say voodoo things would be high on the list, but with my luck I would say something dumb and get cursed. I don't need a voodoo curse. Also this will be the first time I get to see a championship game for any professional sport live. First Championship Game + First Time in New Orleans = Fun.

More MLB: The Cubs traded for Jason Kendall. Apparently they are dumb. Kendall isn't very good. He had a good season and looks like a blue collar guy, which is why Pittsburgh was all about him, but he isn't very good. The Cubs will realize this soon enough.

Finally as inspired by Shamoff himself and suggested by genius commenter Keith, the first "tem movie review of a movie tem hasn't seen". Beware, there may be SPOILERS, there will be things that are incorrect and there is a slight chance that something may be correct. Basically I just take things I have heard which may or may not be true and piece them together. Today's review is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, if you don't want anything spoiled then don't read this. Also if you are a fan of the books (which I haven't read) you might not want to read because I don't know what book things happen in, so I might spoil that too. Anyway, let's have at it:

Since I don't get Prince Chills I will have to give this movie 3 helmet stickers (out of 5). It was a solid flick, especially when you consider that it entertains movie goers of all ages. The movie starts out predictably slow, but really speeds up during the middle parts and the ending leaves you excited for the next installment. In this movie Harry is up against The Order of The Phoenix. This is some magician society that likes that bird Dumbledorf has. Speaking of Dumbledorf Richard Harris puts on another spectacular performance. This is by far his best work since the first movie. He really stepped it up for this flick. Anyway, his killer performance is the reason that this Potter had the saddest.movie.moment.ever. When Snape kills Dumbledorf I could hear every.single.kid.and.adult in the theatre crying.

But don't fret, the movie wasn't all gloom and doom. Harry gets to have his first kiss in this movie. He kisses an Asian chick, so you know he is on his game. He doesn't warm up with some English chick, he goes straight for the exotic chick. More love abounds in this movie as Ron and Hermoine finally hook up. For the theatrical release they cut the sex scene, but I am told that it is guaranteed to make it into the NR Director's cut. I might be skipping that though, because I think the actress who plays Hermoine is like 12. Anyway, so in the end Harry defeats The Order of The Phoenix, gets the girl, but loses Dumbledorf. It is victory, sex, and mourning all rolled into one. A combination that is far too rare.

OK have at it bee snatches.

424 comments:

1 – 200 of 424   Newer›   Newest»
whocares said...

No boobs.

whocares said...

Sorry, had to break the streak.

tem said...

i was waiting for boobs.

Beth said...

Oh well, all streaks have to end sometime.

Big Brother's Brother said...

since you all were waiting!

great review tem. now i can save my money.

Beth said...

And Tem, I'm sure you'll get some good New Orleans advice from LOV, but 2 things you definitely need to do are have a beignet at Cafe Du Monde and a hurricane at Pat O'briens.

tem said...

The Rockies almost blew it too.

tem said...

Beignet, please advise.

Big Brother's Brother said...

who wants to do some blow off a hooker's ass?

Big Brother's Brother said...

"2 things you definitely need to do are have a beignet at Cafe Du Monde and a hurricane at Pat O'briens."

should he get a side of date-rape to complete the beth trifecta?

Beth said...

Beignet is like a funky square donut without a hole but with powdered sugar on top. They're pure New Orleans and Cafe Du Monde is famous for them.

Beth said...

Actually bbb, the New Orleans trifecta for me would probably include getting LOTS of beads at Mardi Gras (if I ever go). I'm not shy that way.

tem said...

yeah do they do the bead thing on days that aren't mardi gras?

blue said...

I pulled the "show up at 7:30" routine today

Beth said...

Sorry tem, I think beads and bare boobs are just for mardi gras.

tem said...

hmm, well the Arena Bowl is special too. i am sure there will be boobs.

positive thinking...

tem said...

blue, i thought you were on vacation in the mountains?

blue said...

i can't believe that dumbledorf died

blue said...

"blue, i thought you were on vacation in the mountains? "

sort of...my mom came to town because that's what mom's do when you're wife is pregnant I guess...so in order to escape her madness I went to the mountains. I tried to not have to take her and my wife...but alas my mission failed. We just went on day trips though

tem said...

Is it better that your mom showed up and not her mom?

tem said...

which is a better wedding gift, money or something off of someone's Target Registry?

like a thing that holds a hose or some Oak Stools or whatever junk they have on there.

tem said...

i am happy boobs are in the top 4 today.

tem said...

did NCAA football come out today?

tem said...

Next week I am going to review Swingers. If I remember.

tem said...

am i going to just run away with this thing today?

blue said...

I think NCAA football came out last week, because they had a spot for it in walmart the other day

blue said...

re: wedding gift

i think that if they registered for it, that's the way to go. I bought one of my best friends a garden hose and some sprinklers and a shovel...he had registered for it, so that didn't make me tacky

tem said...

yeah it is all straight off the registry.

blue said...

taking 2 days off and only having like 20 emails to respond to makes me feel unappreciated

(s)

tem said...

do you just get that shit shipped to their house and bring a card to the reception?

i want to buy a garden hose and bring it to the reception wrapped really shittily.

tem said...

i hate it when old secretary lady runs through he halls because she was wandering away from her desk then the phone rang.

tem said...

i am going to set up a fishing line that i can pull and trip her.

tem said...

or maybe just put a wall up and demand that people pay a toll to get through.

whocares said...

RE: New Orleans




Tem,

Beth is very mistaken. The beads/ boobs thing is pretty much a constant every day. If you can manage it, the best thing to do is go buy 5$ worth of beads and hang out on a bar balcony. You will witness boobs aplenty.

Granted, not as many as during Mardi Gras, but definitely more than none.

whocares said...

I've been to New Orleans 15+ times, and have yet to go down there and not see boob.

whocares said...

Last time I was there was my bachelor party.

The place is surreal. It is 100% acceptable to ask any chick on the street to show her tits.

Me and my buddies were talking to this group of girls and they were telling us how they were students at UNO, planning on going to grad school, yada, yada. Then we just asked them "Can we see your tits?" and they lifted their shirts. There were many stories like that, but just trying to illustrate that all girls are willing in the Big Easy.

blue said...

re: wedding gift

we just wrapped it shittily and took it to the wedding with us...saved on shipping costs

tem said...

more than none is enough.

is it BYOB (beads)?

whocares said...

Not sure what's still open after the Hurricane, but definitely try to hit up Razoo's.

whocares said...

BYOBeads. Yes.

tem said...

this blog is almost too educational.

jugdish said...

RE: beads for mardi gras. Beads are more often found on mardi gras, but if you can get a hold of some beads, you will find girls willing to show you their tits at any time of the year. I was there during October for an NFL game and I saw a girl lift her skirt for a set of beads.

Tem...we want pics!

jugdish said...

WC already covered that, but I hadn't read that far down yet.

Beth said...

I stand corrected about beads and boobs. I wonder if I should feel insulted that the last time I was there no one offered me any beads...

tem said...

well if you hadn't been walking around topless already then they would have offered you the beads.

Beth said...

Oh wait, you're supposed to get the beads BEFORE you go topless???

tem said...

yeah, that was a strategic error on your part.

tem said...

TPS must have been embarassed from last tuesday's assault and planned a full out attack this week.

tem said...

FYI this was LOV post 277.

That's a solid number.

blue said...

TPS has welcomed me back from vacation.

blue said...

anyone else out there still watching flight of the conchords?

I'm getting caught up on episodes, so i'm kind of behind the times.

tem said...

well you know i'm not.

blue said...

today i want to be called by my rapper name

tem said...

which is?

jugdish said...

Snoop Benny Ben?

blue said...

nope..

rhymenocerous


see the video here

Keith S said...

Awesome post tem. You just saved me 9.50$. Thanks

rhymenocerous said...

i thought about having my rap name be hip-hop-apottamus, but that seemed silly

rhymenocerous said...

my rhymes are so potent that in this small segment, i've made all of the ladies in the area pregnant

rhymenocerous said...

there ain't no party like my nanna's tea party

tem said...

i am not sure what i just watched.

rhymenocerous said...

you have just seen the quality programming that you could be watching every sunday night if you had HBO...unless you have a wife...then you get to watch it whenever she's not home, if you have a DVR

rhymenocerous said...

and a wife

tem said...

i have HBO for another 20 days or so.

tem said...

why did the British guy's voices change?

Big Brother's Brother said...

rhymenocerous,

FotC - pretty darn funny. i am a fan.

El Padrino said...

i have ghonneria and it burns when i pee

dont you want to grow up to be just like me?

i have slept with ten woman who have HIV

dont you want to grow up to be just like me?

El Padrino said...

my day is going as well as a teethy blow job

Its Butters!!! said...

All FotC's are on demand now...I caught the two i missed last night...

First watch = what the hell is this, i can't wait to turn off...

Yet this has grown on me and is now part of the sunday night lineup

rhymenocerous said...

they are New Zealanders, but their voices always change sort of when they "bust into song"

tem said...

OK, I know too much about this show now.

tem said...

teethy blow jobs are terrible.

rhymenocerous said...

the camera phone thing cracked me up

tem said...

that is how i can make my phone a camera phone.

tem said...

i liked it when he said his rap lyrics were so awesome and then couldn't think of anything to say.

tem said...

ok folks and rhymenocerous i am out for lunch.

HUNGRY.

Spaceman Spiff said...

munchies cheese fix is solid

Big Brother's Brother said...

i want to kill chad kroeger (sp). nickelback and their "be a rock star" song..

pleas deity, stop it.

isiah thomas said...

solid movie review, Shammy would be proud.

4 out of 5 helmet stickers.

El Padrino said...

scotch



now

rhymenocerous said...

seriously BBB? Those are some very inventive lyrics. I actually thought it was kid rock the first time I heard it.

"Hey, Hey, i wanna be a rockstar"

"gonna get my drugs from a pez dispenser"

"everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial"

rhymenocerous said...

oh

(s)

Keith S said...

51

Big Brother's Brother said...

check him!

Spaceman Spiff said...

keiths hand has a 3 inch thick layer of doodoo all over it

isiah thomas said...

link blocked, is that a 51 in golf?

that's a new record right?

Spaceman Spiff said...

yea he broke his own record

Spaceman Spiff said...

he mustve had mexican food last night

isiah thomas said...

keith s is now

Keith S said...

It's dirt and spit.

Big Brother's Brother said...

he has Feces Arm. not only hand, he muddied up the whole thang.

Big Brother's Brother said...

zeke, so was Wilbon saying the Now stuff was cool?

rhymenocerous said...

keith is not "now" because he's from a mixed racial family

whocares said...

Who's Now: Keith S vs. Shaq.



Shaq: Put out a few terrible movies, still relevant with the kids, international superstar.


Keith S: Shot 51 in vidyo golf.


My vote goes to Keith S.

isiah thomas said...

*apologies in advance for the length of this cut-n-weazy, this is from Wilbon's chat yesterday:

From Peter King's Column: Thoughts on Peter King's comment in his column today, since he brought up your name?

"I'll be the first to admit that ESPN is full of wonderful programming, but whoever thought up this idiotic 'Who's Hot Now' racket and debate needs some sort of reality check. The aim, evidently, was to find the 32 hottest/most talented/handsome (I guess)/People-magazinish athletes in the world, pair them off against each other, and see who is the most 'now' guy. I got a kick out of Matt Leinart being in it, with the ESPN anchor talking about him like he's one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. Injecting performance into the debate made this all the more laughable, seeing that Leinart was the 23rd-rated quarterback in the league last year, completed 56.7 percent of his passes, with a minus-1 TD-to-interception ratio. And the panel discussions arguing the levels of nowness. Silly, silly stuff. Poor Mike Wilbon. This is why ESPN lured one of the best columnists and journalists in America to work there full time, so he could debate who's more 'now' -- Kobe Bryant or some soccer player from Brazil?"


Michael Wilbon: I love Peter King. Love him. He's one of my favorite people, period...not just sportswriters. But I don't take myself nearly as seriously as any football writers. That's why I'm glad I'm not one anymore, and it's why I took the "other" fork in the road when I had a chance to continue being a football writer. "Who's Now" is simply a bigger platform (some would say too big) for a traditional PTI "toss-up" segment without the news peg. Tony and I do this every week, and have for 5 1/2 years. And I LIKED doing "Who's Now?" and would do it again if the schedule permitted. Football writers--99 percent of them, and yes, they are dear, dear friends--think we're war correspondants and that we all care to be serious 100 percent of the time. They don't see other sports, they don't cover other sports. They think all of us in the professional crave football 100 percent of the time, and therefore the seriousness it conveys.


I could give a damn.


And I love football.


But I'm not beholding to it every day, nor feel the need to be serious that most football writers (sometimes including Peter) feel. I have had these discussions with another very, very close friend, Gary Myers of the New York Daily News. I've got other interests, some of the frivilous. I like pop culture, though I don't go any deeper than reading "People Magazine" and even then only on flights. I like "Who's Now?" and as frivilous as it is, it speaks to a huge number of people, and it's the kind of things old newspaper guys like Peter and myself usually don't indulge in...But this, for me, has been a treat. I wasn't ordered to do it, wasn't nudged to do it... And I volunteered to do it again for the next round; too bad for me the schedule won't permit...

Keith S said...

I ain't all black

El Padrino said...

51 smells like a turd burrito

Big Brother's Brother said...

Wilbon aint all black neitha'

rhymenocerous said...

I am NOW

rhymenocerous said...

100 Madness is NOW

rhymenocerous said...

i'm the hip-hoppopatamus and my rhymes are bottomless......(long pause)

Big Brother's Brother said...

he is now Uncle Wilbon or Wilbon Crow to me.

El Padrino said...

tps has slipped me a roofie and is having it's way with me

tem said...

having its way with you is > than teethy BJ??

tem said...

it is cold in the office today.

tem said...

Wilbon is full of shit.

The Now Stuff is stupid and everyone knows it.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Sheets is fucked. Every time something comes out about the finger injury it sounds worse and worse.

I think he'll be out a month.

My FMLB team is fucked.

rhymenocerous said...

i kind of like some teeth action

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Toothy, not teethy.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

That's because you're a kiwi

jugdish said...

Deke...who is that sneaking up on the Brew Crew?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

There's nothing on TV. I need something to watch. Plus hammertime starts in about 10 minutes.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I don't see anybody sneaking up.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Cubs are playing for the wild card. Unfortunately, the Division winner might not have enough wins to get the wild card in the 1st place.

Just wait 'till next year.

rhymenocerous said...

the rockies are sneaky

jugdish said...

Maybe...but suddenly that division race is getting interesting.

tem said...

The Pirates?

El Padrino said...

uncle rico sells tupperware

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Ah yes, the Rats

Big Brother's Brother said...

Devil Rays?

Big Brother's Brother said...

Rico has a rocket laser arm

tem said...

Cubs are all hat and no cattle.

rhymenocerous said...

i think rico's accuracy left something to be desired

Spaceman Spiff said...

how much you wanna bet uncle rico can throw a football over them mountains

jugdish said...

"Cubs are all hat and no cattle."

That can be used to sum up that entire division.

Spaceman Spiff said...

his accuracy in incomparable, that steak to napoleans face was 200% accurate

Big Brother's Brother said...

Rico has raw, untapped potential. he just needs the right coach. thats why he's training with Ditka.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

The Brewers are USDA Certified cattle.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Stop. Hammer Time.

jugdish said...

If coach would have put Rico in, they would have won state. He was sandbagged.

tem said...

Pirates have no hat and no cattle.

jugdish said...

Prince Fielder is 100% angus beef himself!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Prince is Kobe Beef.

Big Brother's Brother said...

the Bacon Mushroom Melt from Wendy's is a majestic sandwich. it needs to come back.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Angus is shit compared to him.




rev.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I want the Baconator.

Big Brother's Brother said...

"Prince is Kobe Beef"

pasty white and tenderized anally?

tem said...

Wendy's has the Baconator now.

Anyone try that?

It is like a double with 6 pieces of bacon or something.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Didn't see that one coming.

(s)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I don't even bother to pour myself actual shots of Jagermeister. I just grab the bottle from the fridge and take pulls.

jugdish said...

Is that around the time you start to think that the Brewers have the division locked up?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I know it's not locked up. I'm entitled to being a prick when the Crew is in 1st in the middle of July.

tem said...

meiz you ever try the baconator?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm listening to SG Podcast.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Closest Wendy's is 20 minutes away. So no.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I make my own baconators at home.

tem said...

we have wendy's every 2 miles here. it is city law.

tem said...

also tim hortons.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

C-Bus is a testing area though, right?

Big Brother's Brother said...

drink more, then itll be funny.

Big Brother's Brother said...

closest gas station is probably 20 miles too.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Where is everybody?!?!

Arby's 5 for 5?

jugdish said...

podcast wasn't that good. Although it did make me hate SG a little more to hear about him going to Kimmel's house for football on Sundays and the setup he has there...rat bastard!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"closest gas station is probably 20 miles too."

Nah, I just have limited fast food options here. More mom & pop & local joints in my little 'burb.

Keith S said...

I went to Arby's last week for the 5 for 5.95$ menu. I ordered and the total came to 7.51$. Those bastards raised it to 5 for 6.95$.

Big Brother's Brother said...

no, it aint 6 minute abs, its 7! 6, you cant even get a good workout in.. it's 7 minute abs.

tem said...

bastards.

and wendy's is headquartered here.

the first wendy's ever was in downtown, but it closed.

tem said...

tp might get beer today.

tem said...

or might already have it.

tem said...

i never tem diaried the latest pod cast.

was it 40 minutes long?

jugdish said...

about 36 or so

jugdish said...

Its basically a 36 minute reminder to all of us that SG is friends with Jimmy Kimmel.

tem said...

all well that'll do for the tem diary.

tem said...

95% chance Jimmy plowed SGs wife.

El Padrino said...

i would love nothing more than to peruse the internet, shoot the shit with LOV and eat bags of candy but today, it's just not happening

tem- nice movie reveiw
and the new orl. thing sounds like a great time, i love boobs

tem said...

boobs are great.

tem said...

but not man boobs.

Beth said...

Now that Rev is gone, I'm wondering if any LOV regulars have man boobs. Anyone willing to fess up?

Spaceman Spiff said...

not here

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm not rev-sized, but 235lbs makes me not so confident in myself.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I think I'm massively obese, yet my friends who happen to be girls say that I don't qualify for being a lard-ass.

My lingering athleticism saves my ass, I think.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Yes, I've caught a buzz.

El Padrino said...

no man boobs here

beth you should set a term though
see rev outright has tits
man boobs like the one's bobby flay or ric flair rock are a different animal

rhymenocerous said...

i'm a c cup

El Padrino said...

that was harsh rev, my bad
i'm in a pissy mood

Big Brother's Brother said...

no breastizez, but im sure corbin has something to say.

in other news, the old guys found the village voice online and are gathered around looking at all the pics.

they have apparently never seen the homosexers. or breastiz. i think they would rupture.. multiple somethings if i let em see LOV links.

rhymenocerous said...

actually, i don't have man boobs, but with the pregnancy thing, i might end up with them...i'm moving into Meiz territory

Big Brother's Brother said...

if your wife has lost 75+ lbs but she is still big.. how got'amn big IS she? thank deity thats the type of family pics that you dont put on your desk.

rhymenocerous said...

btw...there won't be a little boy blue to go blow his horn...little girl blue will have to lose all her sheep and have her cows in the corn

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm like a smaller Terry Mills, except with jumping ability.

rhymenocerous said...

little girl blue will be all hat and no cattle


because she will have lost them

Spaceman Spiff said...

seriously, bobby flay needs to realize whats going on and wear a couple undershirts

rhymenocerous said...

and now i will spend the next 14 years trying to get that video on keith's blog out of my mind

El Padrino said...

way to go blue
you failed the male population

(i'm sure i will too)

*anyday now

rhymenocerous said...

my sperm is going to get a talking to from me, next time I see it.

El Padrino said...

"seriously, bobby flay needs to realize whats going on and wear a couple undershirts "

spiff, for real tho
dude is on tv 6 times a day, how could his wife (law and order bitch) or anyone else not tell him bout those mini parcells he rocks

unacceptable

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

That sucks, blue. All the people that I know that are expecting are having girls.

I've told them that my future son will be banging their daughters. Or I'll just wait 20 years and do it myself.

Beth said...

See ElP, in my mind muscle does not equal man boobs. I'm talking jiggle-as-you-walk man boobs, kinda like Mickleson had awhile back and is growing again.

And Meiztombo, 235 is fine when you're over 7 feet tall...

tem said...

damn failures.

rhymenocerous said...

everyone I know is having girls too...

"you're our only hope El padrino" (princess leia voice, but kind of manlier)

tem said...

jiggle when you walk or when you run?

rhymenocerous said...

what about if you need to wear a sports bro?

Beth said...

Wait, Flay (who I have to admit I don't know who he is other than a wrestler) has legit flabby man boobs? I thought wrestlers all took roids these days, how can man boobs happen?

tem said...

i'm probably dangerously on the border of having man boobs.

now i am depressed.

El Padrino said...

wow meiz

wow

that was a excellent comment post

tem said...

i thought flay was that chef guy.

rhymenocerous said...

I'm sad to say that i'm closing in on 220, and fast.

I haven't been to the gymnasium in quite a good while

rhymenocerous said...

bobby flay is a chef

rhymenocerous said...

he's the one on Iron Chef America

rhymenocerous said...

Madness 2.0

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"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino