Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The sound of children's laughter makes me nauseous

This day in 1988, Bo Jackson made his professional debut with the Royals. He hit 2 home runs and drove in 4 that day. He went on to hit 41 homeruns and batted .340 for the year while being voted Rookie of the Year in a landslide vote. Then he blew out his body and never played again.

Neon Deion Sanders was the ish. Remember him?

I dont think theres much sports stuff happening. If there is, I havent been watching. I'm in preparation for MLB playoffs and college football. I can smell it. Literally. Stick your shnahz in the air and whiff. Past that musty "I shoulda cleaned yesterday" stench of your workplace, there are pennants and pigskins to be had. "Rejoice thine children in the day that is near, for ye shall be satisfied whence." (John 37:10). See, even GeeOhDee knows that our savior sports are on the horizon.

Brett Favre debuted on this day in 1987. He threw 8 passes in a mini-camp and was used sparingly. He was given minimal reps in practice for the first few sessions. Preseason came and their starting quarterback (Wayne Waterson) went down with a shredded leg. He was maimed by a shark while honeymooning in Beirut. Favre not only took the job over from there, but won MVP and Super Bowl titles. He is survived by his wife, Jennifer, and his children, Mickey, 8, and Dauntesha, 17.

Left handed people live shorter lives.

Vegitarians are god-haters.

Turn to your right and clear your throat.


If you have a sense of humor, watch "Wet Hot American Summer". You will laugh your ass off. Or should. From dudes that did MTV's The State and ..they just had a show on comedy central but the name escapes me and I'll leave it up to someone else to name that show.. Yup, I am THAT lazy. I aint lookin that shit up. But they were guys in suits. Couple of skinny dudes. They are funny, so watch.

Mambo #5 doesnt get the proper credit it is due as a dynamite, explosive pop song with tremendous hook and singability. Also, perfect for karoake and parties. What a brilliant song. I listen to this song every day of my life because it reminds me that life is full of choices. And Pepsi and Coke are just one. You should really have 2 go-to foods. You need a drink and a food. The Cowboys fucked the Steelers up in one of these old Super Bowls. Dallas was hot as hell back in the day. Everybody was on their nut. I bet EP rocked a Dallas hat that was aight. Like a black-on-black one, slightly pimped to the side. I could see Beth in her Dallas cheerleader uni cause her tool of a boyfriend was a big fan. I bet he had really bad grey suits that he wore to work. I know he had a Zack Morris phone and was more metro than Patrick Bateman. (This is, of course, because Beth is like 40.)

DA-DA-DA DA-DA-DA!

I could totally go for some Burger King. Maybe tomorrow, we'll see.

Wipe your nose with your left hand.

Boyfriend of TLC's "Left Eye" is getting married.

Get back to work.

482 comments:

1 – 200 of 482   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

And so a new streak begins. :-)

Beth said...

And bite your tongue BBB, I've still got 11 years and 1 month til I'm 40 (but who's counting?).

El Padrino said...

sheffield is my hero

tem said...

that post was great.

tem said...

it almost gave me a Prince Chill. I could feel my toes getting cold.

tem said...

I wish I had to work 2 weeks and got 50 weeks of vacation.

tem said...

i hate it when the internet is slow and fucks with my morning routine of reading news, sports and comics.

tem said...

starting the day with a natty z is nice too.

El Padrino said...

anyone see the 5 year old playing golf better than any one of us on real sports last night?

El Padrino said...

the 5 year old only has one eye to boot

tem said...

WSOP is over.

Some dude won it.

It's all over every news place.

I watched that Harry Potter movie last night. My review was definitely Shamoff quality. I got a lot of the words right, but was way off on some key facts.

Although the gist was good, so no need to watch it.

El Padrino said...

beth say hi to joey harrington

joey harrington say hi to beth

Beth said...

ElP, I already miss Matt Schaub.

tem said...

Once Shaub throws for about a 50% completion percentage and 20 INTS with 10TDs you won't miss him.

El Padrino said...

sounds like from the details of the indictment that the trial, if it goes to trial, is going to be real ugly

El Padrino said...

i cant wait for berman to do the highlights and say matt "cotton" schaub

(S)

tem said...

well at least the vick family still has marcus to fall back on.

he seems to be a class act.

tem said...

ATL will probably sign Culpepper now.

tem said...

or trade with Tampa for one of their 500 QBs.

Beth said...

Yeah, I was reading that even for people familiar with dog fighting the facts in this case are especially vicious.

El Padrino said...

mort's head almost exploded last night

El Padrino said...

espn has a copy of the indictment

stuff in there:

after vick's dog lost back in march of 03 he and a friend decided to execute it by electrocution

at some point in april of 2004 13 dogs were killed, 4 of them were drowned, 1 was slammed to the ground so hard it died instantly, and the others were shot or strangled


real nice

El Padrino said...

Memo to ESPN:

Len Pasquirelli should not, I repeat, should not be on TV.

Thank you and Regards.

tem said...

I wish PETA was more militant and put hits out on people who were mean to animals.

tem said...

I would totally be a sniper for PETA if they axed me to.

El Padrino said...

talking about getting beat with the ugly stick.....holy shit....what kind of stick was it lenny?

El Padrino said...

a javelin?

tem said...

If Len Pasq., Lou Holtz and John Clayton ever got a show together I'd have to kill some folk.

tem said...

Len got beat with the entire ugly tree, not just a stick from it.

El Padrino said...

this am's now segment

Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Mike Greenberg and Adam Sandler

as always hosted by your Stu Scott

*load gun

El Padrino said...

also i failed to add that other dogs were hung...

HUNG



that's my QB!

El Padrino said...

the vick indictment, word for word

tem said...

i might just volunteer to be a PETA sniper.

El Padrino said...

Ookie is his nickname (vick)

El Padrino said...

yeah i'm no huge pet lover (some people are crazy freaks and refer to thier dogs as children) but this is downright disgusting

i will literally burn my vick jersey tonight

(NS)

El Padrino said...

and i've had dogs growing up
i hate cats though
and parakeets

El Padrino said...

but i wouldnt kill them
unless they threatened my life

jugdish said...

Vick is going down. On sports talk radio this morning they were giving some stats on the chances he will walk on this federal indictment. Something like 95% of the people who have a federal indictment against them reach some sort of plea bargain, which means they will do some time, probably on a lesser charger. Of the remaining 5%, 9 out of 10 are found guilty.

Atlanta should cut him now, and bring in Culpepper for a physical.

How is that trade with San diego looking now??

tem said...

dog hangings piss me off.

El Padrino said...

but at least vick will stand by his peoples

El Padrino said...

and the conspiracy charge is money for the feds becuase they dont have to prove his was there for any of it

El Padrino said...

*he

Beth said...

ElP, if you're serious about the jersey burning you have to post pics on LOV you know.

El Padrino said...

what are the chances those two turn on him?

they already got 4 witnesses agreeing to testify agaisnt vick

jugdish said...

I'm ashamed I ever had him on my fantasy team. I will issue a statement later.

El Padrino said...

oh i'm serious

i'll record it

tem said...

Dave Chapelle in the hospital for exhaustion.

I thought he quit working? WTF is he exhausted from?

El Padrino said...

the key question is, what does tjw think?

El Padrino said...

i had no clue you can go to the hospital for exhaustion

El Padrino said...

195 feared dead in a plane crash

in brazil

rhymenocerous said...

michael vick will be starring in "
the longest yard, reality show"

rhymenocerous said...

oh damn

jugdish said...

TJW said before he sees no problem with it. He probably wished he could make a bet or two.

jugdish said...

If you're curious about any TJW opinion, just take our opinion and his is the opposite. TJW's opinions are 180 degrees out of phase from everyone else.

tem said...

TJW would bang the dead dogs.

tem said...

and then ask them for some money for a mcchicken sammich.

tem said...

"michael vick will be starring in "
the longest yard, reality show" "


awesome. i hope he is the guy who gets killed.

blue said...

blue has returned

jugdish said...

and then drop them off at a 7-11 and block them on MSN

blue said...

and then TJW would text them later when he was drunk and say stuff like "you wanna fuck tonite, eh?"

jugdish said...

Its pretty sad we know so much about the fantasy life of TJW.

El Padrino said...

he would defend him for sure

El Padrino said...

so no one saw the 5 year old i take it

tem said...

i missed the 5yr old.

i caught the brazillian air crash.

blue said...

on TJW's latest post, somebody commented

"its good to see you introduce Grik into this season of stories, it's always nice to have new characters"

98% chance that Grik doesn't exist and TJW is using his "creative writing class" skillz

blue said...

I saw the dog that got hit in the tour de franc

El Padrino said...

same kid, different segment

blue said...

Vick had money on this dog

blue said...

Zeke keeps asking about this javelin accident

El Padrino said...

i think culpepper sings with jax or baltimore

blue said...

pep likes Jax, Del Rio loves him some immobile black qb's too

El Padrino said...

nice vids

blue said...

since TP hasn't been here yet.


"mets won last night"

thank you and have a nice day

El Padrino said...

the sheets thing hurts deke

El Padrino said...

hate to say it
but they will blow that division

blue said...

deke was drinking his sheets sorrows away yesterday.

he was Ben Sheets to the wind by 5 oclock.

El Padrino said...

and beth explain to the braves that losing to the reds will do them no good

not that i mind

tem said...

Pep might sign with Tampa. They are still in QB hoarding mode.

tem said...

'Ben Sheets to the wind'

Blue is on his B game today.

Which is a lot better than D-.

Beth said...

"and beth explain to the braves that losing to the reds will do them no good"

Wow, the insight you New Yorkers have is amazing.

El Padrino said...

i forgot the S

at least we know that beth is on the rag

tem said...

remember she has reverse rag.

she's off for like 6 days a month.

Beth said...

Hey, maybe I was actually impressed. :-)

Beth said...

See, Tem has been paying attention.

El Padrino said...

this post was phenominal btw

blue said...

a lot of early day games today

El Padrino said...

funny how rain brings more traffic

El Padrino said...

not so funny actually

blue said...

i think the US should just do away with the penny

El Padrino said...

mets lost to wells but beat peavy

you try and figure baseball out
this is why we didnt go to detroit in october

jeff fucking weaver and jeff fucking suppan shut down the "explosive" offense

jugdish said...

What would we throw in fountains?

blue said...

this was all over the news here

I always wanted to be a sniper

Beth said...

Who kills themselves with a shot to the chest? This sniper apparently.

blue said...

on what planet are these considered racy pictures?

Very very SFW

blue said...

i don't understand that sniper...if he's trained for wilderness evasion, why not hide out and snipe the heck out of some of the people searching for you...especially if you know you're going to off yourself anyway

blue said...

by the way...bernanke is a tool

blue said...

i swear to god, if you want to be an economist you have to be a pessimist

blue said...

and who the hell is this Criss Angel guy? and why should I care about him?

blue said...

Ho-han is looking much better now that she's cleaned herself up and gotten out of rehab...of course that may only last a week or so.

El Padrino said...

he's a homo

blue said...

that was a pretty good natty z with a few extra nattys added on. a natty 6 pack.

El Padrino said...

apparentely there are some naked pics of loahn that got stolen from her comp

oh and i saw the chyna / xpac sex tape

blue said...

kirsten dunst has great cleavage

(s)

blue said...

jon lovitz beat the crap out of Andy Dick? hahahah talk about a former celebrity boxing match to watch.

tem said...

i like KD. even though her toof is fucked up.

tem said...

i hate andy dick.

blue said...

i guess a bunch of people cheered when lovitz smashed AD's face against the bar a couple of times

tem said...

i would have cheered for sure.

tem said...

hohan was always wreckable in my book.

El Padrino said...

mine too

jugdish said...

new game to kill your work day

tem said...

self inflicted chest shot by sniper seems dumb.

chest shot has gotsta hurt and he should have known that.

he must have wanted the pain.

tem said...

madness + 13.

Beth said...

Details on the Jon Lovitz - Andy Dick fight.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I was Ben Sheets to the wind by 2:00, not 5

tem said...

nifty game. it is like Sonic.

tem said...

the hedgehog, not the burger

El Padrino said...

the lovitz link was great

tem said...

i would shoot Andy Dick for PETA too.

blue said...

good to see that mr. meiztombo is still alive

blue said...

shawn marion has an injury?

whocares said...

I really dont feel like doing any work today. It may be another two hour lunch day.

tem said...

why stop at 2hrs?

El Padrino said...

after yesterday my productivity for today will be stricly LOV related

blue said...

more Starbury hilarity

El Padrino said...

nothing wrong with that

i love marbury

blue said...

he is very entertaining to say the least

blue said...

there is no way he's moving to italy...and he said "it's like a beckham thing"

except not at all

i've never seen the movie, "shoot it like starbury"

blue said...

although i never saw "bend it like beckham" either.

but the tem-review I read said that hot chick from Pirates of the Caribbean get nekkid in that movie

blue said...

Keira Knightly is her name

Beth said...

I heard Keira Knightly was pissed at the Pirates of the Carribbean marketing people cause when they made an action figure of her character they gave her big boobs while Keira herself is pretty flat-chested.

blue said...

who would buy a flat chested doll?

tem said...

kiera is infinitely wreckable.

blue said...

there's a reason barbie sells a lot..and it's not the amazing outfits that you can choose from

El Padrino said...

she's a waifer

tem said...

i'd still wreck her.

tem said...

i don't think she gets nekkid in that soccer movie.

she is like 12 in that thing.

El Padrino said...

oh me too

blue said...

"i don't think she gets nekkid in that soccer movie"

that's why it was a "tem-review" as i've never seen it, but in my mind that's what happens

blue said...

by the way...the singing bee...worst show ever

tem said...

i'd never lie about kierra nekkidness. that is just cruel.

tem said...

not cruel like vick treats dogs (allegedly for now) but still cruel.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Singing Bee, agreed.

Keira Knightley is a wife of mine.

blue said...

"i'd never lie about kierra nekkidness. that is just cruel"

i don't know if i'm lying or not

i can just imagine weazy running to the rental store to get the movie tonight

Beth said...

Like "man" and "tits", something tells me that "weazy" and "running" just don't go together.

blue said...

for naked keira...weazy would sprint

Big Brother's Brother said...

this place just alot more swagadoscious

El Padrino said...

it's cuz the weaz is here contributing

S

Big Brother's Brother said...

blue, keira is female.

Spaceman Spiff said...

you can see keiras nipple in 'domino'

Big Brother's Brother said...

EP, "your mother".

blue said...

good point BBB

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Keira was required to do the whole topless thing for her part in ‘Domino,’ but her first nude scene actually occurred in the horror film ‘The Hole’ - when she was only 16 years-old.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm 100% convinced Spiff is the biggest perv here.

El Padrino said...

thank you

Spaceman Spiff said...

some movie keira tit shots

domino

some other movie

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I've been reading the whole Vick indictment...

Dude is FUCKED

tem said...

HUNGRY

whocares said...

Spiff,

Do you have some special website you go to, or do you just google this stuff?

blue said...

the falcons are "very concerned" about the charges.

Joey...Joey...Joey!!!!

Spaceman Spiff said...

google

Spaceman Spiff said...

i used google to find homework solutions in college, google is awesome

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm rockin' the 2 day 'stache today. I look like like a dirtball.

Beth said...

"I'm 100% convinced Spiff is the biggest perv here"

Don't hate on Spiff just cause he has the best research skills on LOV.

Then again, you might've meant that statement as a compliment. :-)

Big Brother's Brother said...

"dont hate" .. beth's gettin a little street up in hurr

Big Brother's Brother said...

and snap your fingers when u drop off the change from the check

blue said...

a little street...a little lawyer...she's not real concerned with what goes up in her

Mills said...

Like "man" and "tits", something tells me that "weazy" and "running" just don't go together.
---------

Now that is just dumb. No, I haven't done a marathon like you and my wife, but I have done a half-marathon.

You don't just wake up and decide to run those. They take at least 4 days of training. Unless you are Barney from How I Met Your Mother.

Mills said...

it is well documented re: my love of keira.

Mills said...

i was thinking the same thing as WC. Where does Spiff get all this stuff. Mad searching skillz.

Mills said...

Viked isn't going to like being somebody's boyfriend in prison.

Mills said...

premature natty. dang. stupid desktop computer clock.

Big Brother's Brother said...

silencio, por favor.

Big Brother's Brother said...

swat it to the 3rd row.

El Padrino said...

fuck

El Padrino said...

weazy have you buried the 2007 cardinals yet?

El Padrino said...

jerry crasnick has

blue said...

enuff

El Padrino said...

WWJOPA DO?

El Padrino said...

oprah is voting for obama

duh

blue said...

ya think?

good to see that Oprah remembers that she is black, and not a woman

whocares said...

I'm not voting for Obama.

whocares said...

I'm not voting for Hillary either.



I my go Libertarian this election...

whocares said...

*may

El Padrino said...

rev is voting for obama or hillary or edwards or gore

isiah thomas said...

silencio, por favor.

amen

Spaceman Spiff said...

al gore will gore you
-bill maas

blue said...

rev would vote for Mayor McCheese if he were running as a democrat

El Padrino said...

i never throw out tshirts

drives the lady crazy

isiah thomas said...

I hope Maas's legal trouble doesn't take him out of the booth this season.

I can't wait to see what new material he has for Cardinal games this season.

Spaceman Spiff said...

should i give weazy the link to harry potter 7 so he will read it and leave LOV alone, or should i read it and constantly give spoilers to keep him away.

Big Brother's Brother said...

spoil the milk

isiah thomas said...

The Black POTUS and VP should get involved in this Vick thing to see if he helped kill any black dogs.

isiah thomas said...

post the HP/Zorse pic, that will get keep his attention for a while.

isiah thomas said...

What did Mort say, wasn't he the one who reported Vick wouldn't be indicted?

isiah thomas said...

the Len P./Holth/Clayton on tv together idea was hilarious.

holy smokes that would be a whole lot of ugly together at one time.

El Padrino said...

my god yes

i cant help but wonder, somewhere down the bloodline, that Len P and Charlie Weiss are related

El Padrino said...

and Len P's barber must be an angry person

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I want the Potter Link.

Big Brother's Brother said...

NFW that Vuke touches the inside of a jail. at least this gives all the douchebag writers plenty of shit to stay busy with.

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