Friday, July 27, 2007

Congrats El-Pah'd!!

You have a beautiful life to look forward to! And what's a better way to start a life than on a fRiDaY11!!!!!!!!!!

That beautiful bouncing baby girl..



Daddy's little princess..



Exploring, searching, aka the creative years...



College years bring forth a new type of attention..



...and a new daddy...



Working in the "real world" is tougher than you think..



Don't mess with Meth, it will meth you up. (That's not a pun, after the 5th or 6th attack she can't pronounce words properly)



You can lead a zorse to water....



The ceremony was beautiful and fit for a princess. Too bad one wasn't there.




*Propers are delivered to the Tem in a maroon velvet box with gold tassles. Good suggestion.

608 comments:

1 – 200 of 608   Newer›   Newest»
blue said...

awesome!

Beth said...

Very nice work Jug.

Beth said...

The kicker will be when EP posts a comment in a little bit explaining it's just been TPS that's kept him busy so far today.

Big Brother's Brother said...

way to go jug

blue said...

what did jug do?

tem said...

that was glorious.

jugdish said...

I didn't do anything...but that post was funny as hell.

tem said...

the it's friday part at the beginning was great.

Big Brother's Brother said...

'what did jug do?'

ask beth

JFreak said...

That's so bad.

But so good.

tem said...

jug must have pleased elezabeth in some way.

Big Brother's Brother said...

how we do

whocares said...

Those pictures freaked me out.



Good work BBB and tem.

tem said...

the ones at the end got rough.

tem said...

what's that mat for?

like decision twister?

ToddPacker said...

"Good work BBB and tem."


don't forget jug

blue said...

wasn't that from a sitcom or something?

Big Brother's Brother said...

tem, no Office Space? its the jump to conlusions mat!

>:-}

blue said...

maybe a movie

ToddPacker said...

tem doesn't get movie jokes

tem said...

ralphie may is incredibly fat.

i know that is from last thread. but damn, i can't stop thinking about how big that dude is.

and his wife must get crushed during sex. nfw they do anything but cowgirl or reverse cowgirl.

tem said...

damn, i've seen office space, but have no memory of said mat.

Big Brother's Brother said...

you literally JUMP to a conclusion!

Beth said...

Two weeks ago I wouldn't have gotten the Jump to Conclusions mat joke either. Thank god I'm slightly ahead of Tem with my movie viewing.

Big Brother's Brother said...

i bet that chick has to put a shoulder into his fat to lift it up. like a lineman hitting the practice sleds.

blue said...

i couldn't remember what it was from..the picture of the dude helped jog my memory

Big Brother's Brother said...

i just realized that fat guy picture looks alot like creepy porn guy from here...

hmm..

blue said...

yeah, ralphie may is HUUUUUGE

and since some may have missed it.

in those pics of Ralphie May, he has slimmed down almost 500lbs from what he used to be

whocares said...

Minus several helmet stickers to all of you for not getting the jump to conclusions mat.

whocares said...

All your helmets went from:

This!

To:

This!

ToddPacker said...

i don't like helmet stickers

whocares said...

Not really sure about those exclamation points.

blue said...

actually, i have so few helmet stickers that they had to remove teh stripind and any decals that go on the helmet

blue said...

*the striping

Big Brother's Brother said...

i guess nobody wants a 2nd place helmet sticker.

Big Brother's Brother said...

u can always use a sharpie like FSU and their little tomahawks.

Big Brother's Brother said...

lightning crashes, a new mother cries, her placenta falls to the floor..

Big Brother's Brother said...

and just because i can. the struggling friday z.

blue said...

live...very appropriate

tem said...

friday morning impromptu meetings can suck.

this last one didn't. we just talked about nothing.

tem said...

it's ok, i have 2 helmets full of stickers already. stripping down that third one ain't no thang.

tem said...

i bet once ralphie's chick gets moving though the waves just carry her and he can stop working.

tem said...

*and she can stop working.

i guess he could too, but i doubt he does much physical work.

tem said...

i mean just walking has got to wear him out.

tem said...

lil el pad can go from lightning crashes to waitress.


everybody's good enough for some change...

tem said...

i lack the patience to be a josh blue fan.

that's what it really boils down to.

tem said...

the payoff for his jokes are too similar and take too long.

it's like he has something wrong with him and can't speak at a normal pace.

tem said...

he is trying to be bobcat goldwaith. or however you spell his name.

there can be only one bobcat.

tem said...

shit at this point the only thing that can stop me is lunch.

blue said...

soccer obviously must not be a very difficult sport, since Josh Blue is on the US olympic team

tem said...

random side note: BW2s had some jalepeno cheese for their fry things. it was good.

blue said...

oh, maybe that's para-lympic...but still.

so he runs around with a parachute on...retards are always funny

tem said...

not sure if the jalepeno cheese is new or what, but it was the first time evar that they offered me a choice of cheeses for my wedges.

blue said...

jalapeno cheese is always good, it could be on cardboard and i'd eat it

blue said...

that waitress was good at the "upsell" of the cheeses

blue said...

tits McGee would be proud

tem said...

so this dude we fired is now a consultant for some other dude that wants to work with us.

i'm not sure how that's going to play out.

tem said...

the waitress was brand new, didn't even know that they served lunch "combo" meals, but knew about the cheese.

tem said...

then tried to bill a guy $12 for a combo meal that usually costs $8.

tem said...

we set her straight though.

whocares said...

I'm with everyone on Josh Blue. Funny once, not funny twice.

And I'm with the crowd on Dat Phan. Not funny once, or twice.

Beth said...

More upsell = bigger bill = bigger tip. It's basic waitress math.

tem said...

HUNGRY

whocares said...

And just for the record, I dont really like black women comedians either.



We get it. You're angry, and your fat, and your proud of both of those things. Now please quit screaming.

whocares said...

Really I dont like any comedian with a built in joke:


Retarded
Fat
Black
Gay
Woman


So basically I only like white guys. Damn I'm a racist.

Big Brother's Brother said...

Superfreak just made an appearance on ipod fridays.

isiah thomas said...

jug that was an incredible idea and post great work.

isiah thomas said...

re: the fat comedy guy

a few points brought up yesterday:

1) He looks like a young chuck weiss in that pic (ns).

2) If he coughs or sneezes while his chick is giving him a bj she could get caught up in a roll of fat and suffocate. Fuck Man vs Wild I want to see her surive that.

Beth said...

Speaking of sex with a fat guy, I'm assuming we all know (well maybe not Tem) the flour joke about having sex with a fat woman, but is there an equivalent joke/strategy for sex with fat guys?

I mean with that many rolls I can't imagine it's easy for her to even find it to give a blowjob.

isiah thomas said...

and Simeon Rice, COME ON DOWN!

You are the next over-priced, over-the-hill, former star to get a multi-milllllyon year deal fro YOUR Washington Redskins.

How bout 30 mil$ for 5 years with 18 up front? What's that, you can't raise your arms above your shoulders? Shiiiiiiit, details, details, please sign hur.

Dan The Man said...

YOU GUYS DO REALIZE THAT IT WAS TEMWR'S IDEA FOR THE POST RIGHT?

YOU ARE ALL BITCH ASSES

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Goddamm TPS as soon as I walk in.

whocares said...

Beth,


I would assume that it would be easy to find as it's the only thing on his body that didnt feel like jello.

whocares said...

Dan the Man is one angry customer.

whocares said...

Can we even get to the 100 madness before lunch?

ToddPacker said...

"jug that was an incredible idea and post great work."


jug does nice work

Keith S said...

re: online gambling

The law that was passed says that you can't send money from a US bank to a gambling site. But, shockingly, these sites have found a way around it. I'm guessing they just teamed up with offshore banks, so your money is sent from your US bank to an offshore bank, and from there it goes to the gambling site. I play on FullTilt, which sucks Ralphie May size ballz, so I'm trying to find a new one now.

ToddPacker said...

"Can we even get to the 100 madness before lunch?"


no.... lunch is "what's now" for me

whocares said...

Does anybody remember the band Green Jelly?

isiah thomas said...

the fat guy probably has a giant neon sign in the shape of an arrow pointing to his crotchtal region.

isiah thomas said...

I'm one more violation from losing my chat privledges for life on Full Tilt.

Keith S said...

I'd say that surprises me, but I'd be lying.

isiah thomas said...

We've talked about this many moons ago, but Full Tilt has at least one way around the law.....you buy a "calling card" from this company and can then transfer funds off of it to Full Tilt.

Also, places like Bodog use Neteller.com to fund their accounts.

Bodog is aiight until you want to withdraw money then its a bitch.

whocares said...

All I had to do was set up a Neteller account (like paypal).


You just put money in there and then send and recieve it from the gamblin' site. Well, mostly send, notsomuch receive.

isiah thomas said...

the play is bad on Full Tilt, at least the low limits I play, but the "randomness" of the cards is ridiculous.

I'd say at least 40% of the flops have a pair on the board. That can't be natural.

Big Brother's Brother said...

i love me some nick drake.

whocares said...

Yeah, I used betus.com and getting money from them was a biiiiitch.


When I would try to withdraw they would tell me that the account I used to put the money in was "unsecure" or some bs like that so they couldnt send money to it.


And I would ask them why they didnt seem to have any problem ACCEPTING money from said account. They never had an answer.

Big Brother's Brother said...

Green Jelly - didnt they do some 3 little pigs song or something? it was in Dumb and Dumber..

whocares said...

Yeah, they did the little pig song.


I remember they used to be called Green Jello, but got sued by Jello and had to change it to Jelly.


It sparked my memory for some reason when I said something about Jelly.

isiah thomas said...

this post keeps making me laugh, this can't be said enough, great work jug.

whocares said...

And that's your random word association for the day. Class dismissed.

isiah thomas said...

and freak you kinda slipped up.....

"temwr" has been just "tem" for quite a while, only a long time member of LOV would know that.

whocares said...

Lunch. Two hours. Holla.

Keith S said...

I don't get why this NYY/Bal game is being completed today. It was in the 8th inning when it started raining. Every other game I've seen this year that was passt 5 innings when it started raining, that was it, game over. Why are they completing this game?

Keith S said...

ESPN top 6

1. USC
2. THE OSU
3. Texas
4. Florida
5. Oklahoma
6. Michigan

Keith S said...

Iowa #25

Keith S said...

And TCU has a 53-64 record over the last 10 years, which somehow gets them the #24 spot.

Dan The Man said...

TEMWR CAME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR THIS POST BITCH ASSES

ISIAH THOMAS MUST BE RETARDED

tem said...

i'm back

JFreak said...

madness

blue said...

this top 25 thing has to be slanted towards more recent history than just "the last 10 years"

Miami would have to be top 5 I would have though

tem said...

WWL is all about what's now.

I am suprised the top 25 didn't just match the end of the year rankings from last year.

tem said...

TCU has a losing record over the last 10 years according to WWL.

tem said...

that's OK though, 24 is where they sit.

isiah thomas said...

freak let me type this slowly....

"temwr" now goes by just "tem" and has for some time (ctrl+f tem)

continuing to say "temwr" shows you've been around a while.

and jug's idea was great.

blue said...

how can a team with a losing record in a non-bcs conference end up in the top 25? And the fact that they are ahead of Iowa....hahahahahahahaa

isiah thomas said...

my rankings were off in some area's but pretty close otherwise.

we both had Boise at 16.

My record for TCU is pretty different, I'll have to double check. I've got them at 80-40

tem said...

beats me blue.

they have been good lately though.

blue said...

I also take issue with Va Tech being ranked so high. They have won a lot of games consistently, but have 0 conference championships in the last 10 years....0? The only team in a conference, that's in the top 25 without a championship.

tem said...

it would make me feel a little better if TCU did in fact have a winning record over the last 10 years.

tem said...

VT also shows as having just a 500 record.

tem said...

500 record, 0 conference titles, 2 Vick's = 12

Keith S said...

I don't get the Donkey Kong correlation either.

tem said...

methinks someone at the WWL put some records in there wrong.

blue said...

I agree with temwr

blue said...

i'm adding the "wr" in honor of our friend DTM

blue said...

Notre Dame's bowl record....0-7 hahahahahahahaha

isiah thomas said...

I think they've got Okla ranked too high, they had some lean years 10 yrs ago.

LSU and GA seem a little high also.

tem said...

way back in the day there used to be an 87 on there.

isiah thomas said...

I've got Va Tech at 95-31.

tem said...

schilling is pitching in triple A?

he was hurt?

i did not know these things.

tem said...

95-31 is better than the 59-59 that the WWL has em at.

isiah thomas said...

Did ESPN shammy this thing up and not check their facts?

my records compared to theirs are pretty much dead on except for TCU, VA Tech and Iowa.

No way Va tech is .500.

isiah thomas said...

I've got Iowa at 65-56, they've got 80-40....

lemme double check

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Yes! More CFB nonsense.

Keith S said...

Looks like I can bottle my own Aquafina from now on.

Big Brother's Brother said...

iowa is definitely gonna make the top 25. i stake whats left of my balls on it.

tem said...

The Sky is Falling in Iowa

isiah thomas said...

I stand by my numbers, ESPN shammy-ed the fuck out of VT, Iowa and TCU's numbers.

Keith S said...

Did they spelt pelt right?

isiah thomas said...

I believe everything is spelt correctly though.

Big Brother's Brother said...

today we learnt that even deity doesnt like Iowa.

blue said...

i only buy bottle water because it's cold...IDGAF if it's from a tap, a sewer, or the moon. I buy the cheapest one as long as it's cold

isiah thomas said...

Didn't Va Tech win the ACC (or at least their division) in their first year there?

isiah thomas said...

and I think they won at least 1 Big East title also...

and UM only has won 1 B10 Title in 10 years?

Did they fact check this at all?

isiah thomas said...

I'm elitist in my bottled water preferences....only Arrowhead for me please.

*scoff*

isiah thomas said...

I heard about some exec for Fiji (bottled water)was clowning some city for their water quality....

Mayor of the city got pissed and tested his water vs Fiji and found Fiji's water was something ridiculous like 10 times worse than his cities water.

Beth said...

Not sure if this is a good or bad thing for them, probably bad, but Georgia is the highest ranked team on the list without a national championship. I thought that was interesting.

isiah thomas said...

Like their archrivals at No. 7, the Hurricanes have fallen, although more gently. Since winning the 2001 title, Miami has won fewer games in each of the past five seasons than in the season before.

Victory totals by season:

01: 12
02: 12
03: 11
04: 9
05: 9
06: 7

I agree from 04 till now they've fallen but the wwl makes you think they went from 12 to 4.

Keith S said...

VT won the Big East in '99, and ACC in '04.

Keith S said...

UM won or shared Big T(elev)en title in '97, '98, '00, '03, '04

blue said...

WWL is shit

blue said...

no wonder shanoff was never correct

isiah thomas said...

Big Te(leve)n

blue said...

somebody contact the ombudsman

isiah thomas said...

beth would you rather make sexy time with the new ombudswoman or ralphie may?

Big Brother's Brother said...

maybe Big (12) next year. theres talks of expansion..

isiah thomas said...

they should bring in a I-AA team.

Keith S said...

Oh please let it be ND. Northwestern needs someone to pick on.

ToddPacker said...

jug should be a full time contributor after todays post

isiah thomas said...

ND is a top 5 team.

ToddPacker said...

USC at # 1 is bs

JFreak said...

ND gets too much money from their television deals. No way they would want to split that cash up with a conference.

isiah thomas said...

I have admin access, I was thinking about inviting him.

This is probably the best.post.EvAr!!!111!!!!1!1! in the history of LOV (ns).

Outstanding jug.

tem said...

Shammy must have free lanced it.

isiah thomas said...

SC was terrible from 97-01, barely above .500.

Lights out since then though.

jugdish said...

Thank you...wow...I have so many people to thank.

I feel like Kramer when he won the Tony.

Dan The Man said...

YOU BITCH ASSES ARE SO FUNNY


HAR HAR HAR

BITCH ASS

isiah thomas said...

ND gets too much money and they don't want to average 6 losses a season.

6 loss seasons = bye bye tv contract.

ToddPacker said...

usc

1997 6-5
1998 8-5
1999 6-6
2000 5-7
2001 6-6

5 mediocre years cancels out 2 NCs... they should be in the 5-10 range

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

ND Sucks balls.

ToddPacker said...

yes they do meiz

Keith S said...

You're right TP. OSU should move up.

isiah thomas said...

59-6 in the last 5 years is pretty great though TP.

isiah thomas said...

I had USC 2, FLA 3 and OSU 4.

Seemed fair.

ToddPacker said...

"59-6 in the last 5 years is pretty great though TP."

it's great but this was a poll of the last 10 years

ToddPacker said...

i had OSU #1

isiah thomas said...

ND Sucks balls.

this is close to TOTP worthy.

isiah thomas said...

I had Miami #1

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Have I mentioned I'll only be half-assed rooting for the Brewers on Tuesday?

ToddPacker said...

my top 5

1 osu
2 mich
3 tex
4 miami
5 FSU

Keith S said...

ESPN's comment for Michigan is "The Wolverines have won a national championship and played in four Rose Bowls in the past decade", yet they have them listed as having 1 conference championship. Except for last year, they had to win the Big Ten to play in the Rose Bowl.

ToddPacker said...

what? no SEC in the top 5...

6 Florida
7 Tenn
8 Georgia
9 texas
10 Va tech

isiah thomas said...

UM at #2? very funny TP.

My top 15 (in order):

Team
Miami-Florida
Southern California
Florida
Ohio State
Texas
Florida State
Michigan
Auburn
Oklahoma
Nebraska
Tennessee
Wisconsin
LSU
Virginia Tech
Georgia

ToddPacker said...

"Have I mentioned I'll only be half-assed rooting for the Brewers on Tuesday?'


meiz is closet mets fan with or without glavine going for 300

ToddPacker said...

"UM at #2? very funny TP"


(ns)

isiah thomas said...

last year and the other year OSU played in the title game

Keith S said...

OSU played for the title in the '03 Fiesta Bowl. I think Oklahoma played in the Rose Bowl that year, but I can't remember who they played.

ToddPacker said...

i know georgia doesn't have any NC but they have real high winning %.... only OSU, Mich, Boise St, Tex and Miami are higher

tem said...

WVU should be number 1.

isiah thomas said...

I was just handed a stack of uber "busy work" because someone screwed up and our entire office has to help out to fix it.

I'm milking this the entire day.

*kicking feet up.

ToddPacker said...

"WVU should be number 1"


jug should be #1 after today's post

Keith S said...

Next year OSU/USC start a home and home in LA. I'm pumped up for that.

isiah thomas said...

GA also has no .500 or worse seasons in the last 10 (one of only 5 teams in the top 25 to do so) and has 5 10 win seasons.

Also, their win % improved .09 in the last 5 over the first 5 years.

isiah thomas said...

Next year OSU/USC start a home and home in LA. I'm pumped up for that.

that's a pretty sick home/home.

Give OSU credit, they had TX a few years ago.

ToddPacker said...

"Give OSU credit, they had TX a few years ago."


gotta do that when you play in the weak big 10..... hook da hook

isiah thomas said...

Well compared to the NFL's 9th division, the SEC, every conference is weak.

Dan The Man said...

the WAC is not weak

isiah thomas said...

I know TX and USC are no match for out of conference powerhouses like Central Carolina, or was it Central Carolina community college FLA played last season?

Dan The Man said...

bitch ass

Dan The Man said...

homos

Dan The Man said...

hey, why don't you guys debate which school has the hotter chicks.


dumb asses

ToddPacker said...

georgia is 2-8 against florida over the past 10 years.... if they didn't play each other i think UGA would have won a NC....

Dan The Man said...

Florida State should be #1 in any poll, regardless of what it's for.

punk bitch asses

ToddPacker said...

dtm is funny

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Piss on the SEC.

JFreak said...

Someone needs to cover for me again next week.

'Nother trip out of town.

isiah thomas said...

maybe you could post as DTM?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

We did discuss the hottest chicks.

The winner was Weber State.

ToddPacker said...

"Florida State should be #1 in any poll, regardless of what it's for"



your mean irregardless, dan....

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