Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I saw an albino squirrel

So I suppose I better recap some of the action that occurred over the weekend.

INDY: Race had lots of rain, fmtem left early, tem told her that they showed her and her family on TV and Bob Costas made fun of them for leaving. Franchitti wins a shortened, but good race, the real winners were everyone who got to see Ashley Judd in a wet dress. Sidenote: I have a suspicion that Ashley isn't very nice. Although I was impressed with her knowledge of cars.

Random Sidenote 1: The local radio DJ almost died today when he referred to the chick from the view as Elisabeth Shue. I almost stopped by the station on my way to work to explain some things to him.

NASCAR: Fuel mileage race and for whatever reason NASCAR doesn't throw a stupid caution at the 20 laps to go mark so everyone can get fuel. This meant that Casey Mears wins and Kyle Petty gets a top 5. I guarantee that someone at NASCAR got a lot of shit for forgetting to throw that caution.

NBA: Utah wins a game, then gets smacked around. Last night I saw the most ridiculous T called on D. Fischer. Cavs win a game too and I suspect they will get smacked around tonight as well, especially with Hughes out. Spurs/Pistons is inevitable.

Random sidenote 2: The damn cat had ants in her food bowl, so now fmtem moved the food bowl up to the dining room table. Of course the cat is too dumb to remember where her food is, so she just looks at where it was and meows a lot. I think that might be grounds to put her down.

MLB: Too much action to summarize. Ryan Freel nearly died I guess. So that was bad. But I guess good too, because he just nearly died instead of really dying.

NHL: Apparently the Stanley Cup finals are on now. The Ducks won game 1. I think it was on Versus. That pretty much sums up the NHL.

Random Sidenote 3: I had another random sidenote for you, but I forgot what it was. Oh yeah. This weekend Police Academy 4 was on. I did not know that Sharon Stone and David Spade were in that thing. There were a ton of odd names in that sumbitch. Also, that Bobcat dude's voice is still funny.

OK that's enough of the recap. Have at it bee snatches.

607 comments:

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Iam what i aint said...

SOMETHING

SNAPPY!

tem said...

and pizazz.

El Padrino said...

i hate cats

El Padrino said...

and the freel thing reminded me of the Mike Cameron/Beltran collision that broke Camreon's face

tem said...

I was eating dinner and espn news kept showing it every 5 minutes.

Iam what i aint said...

dfish techs - both were worthless.

"put her down".. the cat or fmtem?

El Padrino said...

allow me:

Yankees 13.5 games out

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mills said...

ms usa fell last night as she walking down the runway at ms. universe. it was funny. looks like "had an ankle"

Mills said...

Remembering Bo - 20 yrs later by JoPo. Check it out.

thejaywhite said...

a weekend without sopranos, entourage sucks

tem said...

"put her down"

the cat. can't put fmtem down until she is mtem. that way i gets the insurance money and stuff.

tem said...

holy fuck, TPS used the weekend to regroup. It is staging an all out attack.

thejaywhite said...

I prefer to remember Bo this way


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PBvOxicz-0

Mills said...

not as good as the christian okoye run, but pretty salty nonetheless. bo doesn't get touched once.

Iam what i aint said...

end of the game interview with the spurs didnt happen cause the jazz crowd was chucking stuff onto the floor.

thats what u get when u have 1 guy bring 8 wives to the game.. 8 extra throwing arms.

tem said...

but they are girly throwing arms.

fmtem nixed the idea of me becoming a mormon.

I am going to pitch it again tonight.

Iam what i aint said...

btw, what did The Fish even do on that 2nd tech?

Iam what i aint said...

tem, get her hooked on that hbo show about polygamy and youll be all set. (once u get hbo..)

El Padrino said...

Big Love

Iam what i aint said...

Bo knows video games.

tem said...

that is as decent of a plan as i have heard.

tem said...

that 2nd T was total BS.

ref should be fined for calling it.

thejaywhite said...

im watching stuck on you..i never seen it before..this might be teh stpidest movie ever

blue said...

both techs on fisher were ridiculous. The one where Manu ran into him and then did his best soccer impersonation was horrible. And then fischer just put a good hard forearm in his chest when he was taking a jumper....


Fuck Manu, and Fuck Steve Javie

blue said...

by the way, if EB shows up with his "you'd love Manu if he was on your team" line again today, there might be an unscheduled execution in Tejas today.

thejaywhite said...

I hate fisher...

Iam what i aint said...

did he throw a 'bow or something at him? it looked like he went for block and just knocked him down.

tem said...

i hate manu.

i don't have a nba team.

blue said...

I know that zeke touched on this today but reading the "get him a body bag" lines from SG in his mag article is one of the most blatant forms of plagiarism i've ever seen. Although I'm not sure if it's actually plagiarism or just straight Mencia-ism

blue said...

"did he throw a 'bow or something at him? it looked like he went for block and just knocked him down. "

His arm came in a little lower then it should have and he gave him a little push, but Manu flopped on that too.

blue said...

the Stern-inator needs to do something about the flopping, maybe he should kick manu out of the league or something

El Padrino said...

every may/june there is a manu foul that everyone cries about

something new please, it's like groundhog day except a year later

tem said...

We could talk about NCAA football.

tem said...

or how the pirates are only 5.5 games out.

blue said...

EP-
Please correct your statement from May/June to "every game".

blue said...

I'm excited for the Lacrosse championships tonight. (s)

blue said...

or maybe they were last night...stupid it not being monday

Iam what i aint said...

Opposing players, coaches and fans can hate on Ginobili all they want. But as the rappers would say, they need to, "Stop hatin,' '' since deep down they wish they had someone on their team doing the same thing.

-- Marc J. Spears covers the NBA for The Denver Post


mark jay speers keepin it crunk fo' us.

blue said...

I tried playing that golf game at home on the laptop, it's very difficult without a mouse

tem said...

johns hopkins beat duke in the lacrosse championshits.

blue said...

Marc J. is the type of black man that listens to country music

blue said...

the lacrosse championships featured 32 future doctors

tem said...

marc j is cowboy troy?

Iam what i aint said...

hockey gives ya 2 mins for diving, ball should give a personal. its definitely gonna go that way, just a question of how soon.

tem said...

we just had a dude sign a lease who is a:

pharmacist/lawyer

and now he is going to get his MBA.

His goal in life is to be governor of Ohio.

thejaywhite said...

when can we expect an eye of the sports guy

tem said...

flopping = foul

next season.

tem said...

he is out of guests willing to do the show.

blue said...

eye of the sports guy = today

blue said...

he's going to interview his dad and talk about the draft lottery

tem said...

please God no.

El Padrino said...

a patriot died, it wasnt Bruschi

boooooooo

blue said...

Alba for your viewing pleasure

Iam what i aint said...

dmv just jocked me. they sent my renewal stickers to the old crib, which got returned to them.. so now they issued me a whole new plate instead cause they "dont forward mail on leases". ??

.....

i had an O.G. plate and i liked it. now i'm the new shitty style. hatehatehate.

thejaywhite said...

he said this week was a very special guest...

thejaywhite said...

you really posted that photo?...you guys have some prety low standads eh..its like you just discovered the internet today...anything with clothes on I dont really care about

Iam what i aint said...

definitely his dad

tjw is on SGs jock.

blue said...

I have a funny feeeling that TJW likes this eye of the sports guy

blue said...

TJW...how was that new show "the ex-wives club" last night?

Iam what i aint said...

thank you for the SFW alba, those of us looking over our shoulders for bosses instead of parents appreciate it.

El Padrino said...

she is so fucking hot

Dan the Man said...

would you guys tell that mills guy to leave the Daily Quickie people alone, that guy is annoying.

thejaywhite said...

didnt watch it..i watch new adv of old chist....

and of course i like simmons..best writer going

El Padrino said...

the stella artois was phenominal this weekend and sat night i got out of hand

Iam what i aint said...

if u mention fantasy sports he will leave in a heartbeat.

El Padrino said...

whoever you are dan the man, keep up the good work

El Padrino said...

"if u mention fantasy sports he will leave in a heartbeat."

or hairy nuts

thejaywhite said...

they should have named this movie..straight to tv

thejaywhite said...

sometimes..you guys really make me think that there are people out there with a worse life than my own

Iam what i aint said...

tjw, i think the Wayans brothers already took that

blue said...

i don't know, living in mom's basement and driving her volvo station wagon is pretty tough to beat.

tem said...

we can't control mills.

blue said...

control mills, impossible, why do you think he's called weasel.

tem said...

stella artois is awesome.

I saw a stella artois umbrella outside of a place that was closed monday. I was so close to stealing it.

JFreak the legend of thundercunt said...

Ashley Judd was trying to hide during the parade.

She had this huge floppy hat trying to cover her face.

I still knew it was her.

thejaywhite said...

ya...except I have an MB GL450..but i do basically live in the basement

JFreak the legend of thundercunt said...

That's hilarious.

An unemployed guy living in his parents basement can afford a MB.

Come on man, at least try to make it sound real.

thejaywhite said...

Its like you guys have a memory of a goldfish....my dad did play professional football

blue said...

no, it's his mommy's MB gl450 station wagon...he calls it the "shaggin' wagon"

El Padrino said...

the cheddar baked goldfish or real one's ?

JFreak the legend of thundercunt said...

Jay...it's like you have the memory of a goldfish.

No one here believes the story of your dad playing for ND or any pro team.

blue said...

why would a former professional football player move to Canada? Or was he a canadian league football player?

blue said...

TJW's dad is thurman thomas

blue said...

or Tony Rice

whocares said...

The chicks really dig when you pick them up in your MB GLwhatever and then take them to your parents house. I bet those panties just drop.

Iam what i aint said...

rocket ismail

thejaywhite said...

I wish he was thurman thomas.....cfl actually paid a lot back then, more than the nfl, plus he was a consistent league mvp nominee...so why not

blue said...

If my dad was a former pro football player i'd drive a bentley, because those drop it like it's hot.

thejaywhite said...

I dont really bring girls home..in fact I dont really date sober..i just do the drunk pickup

blue said...

but cfl paid you in candian dollars, and you have to pay like 60% tax, so no fool in their right mind would choose the cfl over the nfl.

thejaywhite said...

I like trucks / Suvs....I do like the bmw suvs. but not allowed to drive those

tem said...

NFW

That is all.

blue said...

tem you forgot the S...it's N"S"FW

thejaywhite said...

USA has higher taxes than CAN...when u break it down..canadas actual income tax is slightly higher, but Canada has larger tax breaks...for charitable donations, work related bonus', endorsements, and at a plateaued ceilings for income taxes..for instance if you won the lottery in the US, you would pay almost 60% of it to Sam, but in Canada you would pay 0%..

El Padrino said...

fascinating

thejaywhite said...

plus 30 years ago..Canadas dollar was worth more than the US dollar..it wasnt until the afl,nfl merger that the nfl had higher salaries and by that time dad was more or less ending the career

El Padrino said...

freak i can make a same day line up change up until the time of the frist game right?

Iam what i aint said...

and since your chances of snagging the lotto is like 1 in 45 million.. perfect reasoning to live in Canuckdia.

El Padrino said...

Doug Flutie?

blue said...

i'll remember that next time I win the lottery..


I'm sure that Vince and T-Mac and any other celebrity that complained about the crazy taxes in Canada, were all just mis-informed by their crafty canadian accountants.

Iam what i aint said...

and freak with the nice use of italics

El Padrino said...

time to look up random things on wikipedia

El Padrino said...

dont call me an Italic!

El Padrino said...

ha

Iam what i aint said...

in all fairness, tmac probably fell asleep and vince just quit halfway through the explanations..

blue said...

"Canadian dollar reached it's peak at 1.06 to the US dollar in 1957, after 1960 it dropped dramatically"

per wiki

but Tony Rice played in the CFL in the 90's so that wouldn't really apply here.

blue said...

SG is chatting today at 12:30 ET....

I expect a full temdiary of the chat.

tem said...

NFW

Josh Hancocks Seatbelt said...

Ladies and Gentlemen...prepare to be amazed.

The WWL has done something right...

They're airing Lincecum VS Perez tonight
and
Glavine VS Zito tomorrow night.

Praise him...in all his splendor

blue said...

seriously corby? I can't believe it. The day has finally come. It's..it's...it's spectacular.







(s)

El Padrino said...

"in all fairness, tmac probably fell asleep and vince just quit halfway through the explanations"

i laugh

tem said...

HUNGRY

thejaywhite said...

Actually I believe, the canadian dollar was around 116 in the mid-late 80s but that didnt last long..

The miconception with taxes between US and Canada is that certain states in the US like FLA..have no state income tax..where in canada everyone is charged the same % of tax across the country...so in the US..you can get lower taxes depending where you live

blue said...

tem should replace rowlf with monster from the muppets, isn't he the one who always said "HUNGRY"

Josh Hancocks Seatbelt said...

Perhaps you don't understand the use of sarcasm blue...as this is going to be a great series...

though i think deep down it's just a "hey look what we did for the national league this week" when sunday night baseball is Yanks/Red Sox....again

thejaywhite said...

Simmons live chat...1230

Josh Hancocks Seatbelt said...

Or maybe it's just one met fan who lives in Iowa excited he gets to see the mets on TV, rather than having to listen to MLB.com/Audio...

thejaywhite said...

1989 pre-street fight interviews

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOt2ZhX0gUk

1989 7 minute street fight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iio5LfSXZ2w&mode=related&search=

blue said...

"The average tax rate in Canada is higher than in the United States. In Canada total tax and non-tax revenue for every level of government equals about 37% of GDP, [1] compared to the U.S. rate of only 27%.[2] While this tax differential has fallen, this coupled with better opportunities in the US is still a leading cause of brain drain to the USA.[3]

A significant portion of this tax differential is due to spending differences between the two countries. While the US is running deficits of about 4% of GDP,[4] Canada has consistently posted a budget surplus of around 1% of GDP.[5] Considered in a revenue-neutral context, the differential is much smaller - Canada's total governmental spending was about 36% of GDP[6] vs. 31% in the US.[7] In addition, caution must be used when comparing taxes across countries, due to the different services each offers. Whereas the Canadian healthcare system is 70% government-funded, the US system is just under 50% government-funded (mostly via Medicare and Medicaid); adding the additional healthcare-spending burden to the above figures to obtain comparable numbers (+3% for Canada, +7% for the US) gives adjusted expenditures of 38–39% of GDP for each of the two nations.

The taxes are applied differently as well. Canada's income tax system is more heavily biased against the highest income earners, thus while Canada's income tax rate is higher on average, the bottom fifty percent of the population is roughly taxed the same on income as in the United States. However, Canada has a national goods and services tax of 6% on all purchases, while the U.S. federal government does not, increasing the tax burden on Canadian low-income earners due to the regressive nature of a sales tax. However, Canadian GST does not tax food and other essentials and a GST rebate for low-income earners mitigates regressiveness.[8]"

Per wiki

10% difference is a lot when it comes to taxes.

blue said...

"Perhaps you don't understand the use of sarcasm blue...as this is going to be a great series..."

I don't get the use of sarcasm unless there is an (s) attached.

blue said...

sorry for the long tax wiki entry

Dan the Man said...

yeah, you guys are so much cooler with your stupid canada tax discussions

blue said...

dude...who are you

Dan the Man said...

I am THE man

El Padrino said...

ribs last night
tru and true

blue said...

you are ridiculous, do you live in your mom's basement too?

Iam what i aint said...

we have a new blue! he came, he saw, he.. is trying to fit in and really wants to stay, but it's just too soon.. the scars are still healing..

blue said...

hahahahaha from DS

Dan the Man said...
Alison Stokke is a hottie. I wish she went to my highschool

5/29/2007 10:52:00 AM

THE CHAMP. said...

i think you mean ANIMAL from the muppets.

El Padrino said...

link her up

blue said...

recess is over young man, head on back to chemistry lab.

Iam what i aint said...

we need to post a couple good links for DTM to steal and re-post at DS's ... help him stack up some coolness points.

blue said...

yeah animal, not monster, what was I thinking.

El Padrino said...

everytime i see tem's pic i revert back to the vid when Kermit went down on him

blue said...

Washington Post story about this highschool chick

her pic that got all the internets buzzing

El Padrino said...

Rise Against = solid

Beth said...

I think we all know that Dan is only here cause of me.

Better watch out ElP...

(s)

El Padrino said...

whoa, she's slammin'

El Padrino said...

the only thing against me beth is the team i root for, other than that i have no worries

blue said...

beth, the new job is treating you well?

Beth said...

Yep Blue, so far so good on the new job. It's already better than WC's in that I'm still on LOV today. :-)

And ElP, you rooting for the wrong team is no small matter when it interferes with our destiny... ;-)

THE CHAMP. said...

"Yep Blue, so far so good on the new job. It's already better than WC's in that I'm still on LOV today. :-)"

they let you up from under the desk or are you just good at typing from your knees and multi-taksing?

thejaywhite said...

stokke is fucking hot..ive known about her for awhile

shes alright at polevault too...not great..but for her age decent

isiah thomas said...

Should ESPN drop NE in their NFL power rankings now that Hill died?

too soon?

blue said...

TJW would not hook up with Stokke because her 40 time is not up to his standards.

isiah thomas said...

beth's motto is one hand on the shaft, one hand on the keyboard.

blue said...

I've got to think of some good questions for SG

isiah thomas said...

Blue touched on this....

SG basically stole what Spiff said word for word about Sarunas Jasikavisloiujlkajsdfsus.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

ElP,

Stadium Sauce?

Beth said...

Champ, today I'm actually only training on the basics and getting used to the firm. I don't think the blowjobs start til next week.

(s?)

blue said...

SG- Please elaborate on how you come up with such witty observations like calling Jasikivicuislksi "the body bag guy"

blue said...

"=I think we've linked this before

El Padrino said...

"ElP,

Stadium Sauce? "

deke, fucking yes.
fucking delissh
you are a gentleman and a scholar.
i thank you

used them on your basic brat (not white) and i grilled them (sorry no beer bath, I wasnt home other wise i would have) and i slathered that on

still have half the bottle for future use, i'm stoked

blue said...

at least we did enough research and knew the kid's name was Tommy

isiah thomas said...

I haven't watched any hoops lately, someone tell me if the San Antonio Sterns MAKING 10 more FT's than the Jazz attempted is legit.

a simple MC Hammer 2 Legit to quit sign will suffice.

El Padrino said...

beth something tingly happens when you type the word "blowjobs"

whocares said...

What is Beth's new job?

whocares said...

I think the Nazis have let me back on this site as a test. I am failing. But I think I'm just being paranoid...

El Padrino said...

Law Office Barista

Beth said...

WC, basically it's office bitch at a law firm, I answer the phones, do some typing, some filing, etc.

Good to see you on here during the day.

blue said...

don't be paranoid WC, just guess that somebody higher up complained that they couldn't work on their blog during the day

Iam what i aint said...

"training on the basics and getting used to the firm."

cue the wah-wah-waaaaaaah.

blue said...

Miss USA falling on her ass is hilarious

thejaywhite said...

stokke probly has an alright 40...shes a smaller girl so she would have to be decently quick to vault 4.20m

i bet she can run a 4.90

isiah thomas said...

I'm actually only training on the basics

"Beth this is William, he likes his coffee black, and don't forget to cup his balls when you blow him.....ok this is George, he likes his coffee with cream and sugar and he's a fag so just toss his salad...."

blue said...

she just keeps falling down

Iam what i aint said...

one of the all-time lamest, but most-used office jokes is the "hey watch out for this guy!/keep an eye on him!" when talking to a 3rd party..

and i'd like to nominate everyone who's ever used that joke for a nice round of.. death. go kill yourself.

blue said...

i'm going to get a good SG question answered today

blue said...

this just in...Ashley Judd is still hot

Iam what i aint said...

"i bet she can run a 4.90"

is that bang-worthy?

isiah thomas said...

speaking of training/office stuff I broke down and bought season 1 of The Office.

pretty funny stuff. Dwight cracks me up.

blue said...

i bet you Jessica Alba doesn't run any faster then a 5.5 40 and that just won't cut it for TJW.

El Padrino said...

a zeke zinger!

Spaceman Spiff said...

fuck you bill

blue said...

I have a new theory, perhaps Spiff is SG?

whocares said...

I iz,

I'm with you on the "watch out for this guy!" guy. He should be punched in the face repeatedly.

ebntx said...

just checking in after reporting to jury duty.

since blue called me out, yes i think manu flopped, dfish did foul but did not deserve t.

blue said...

they both live in the LA area, have lots of nipslip links and random thoughts from LoV end up in SG's articles constantly

thejaywhite said...

4.9 is alright for a chic..but the 4.20 vault is pretty good for a highschool chic..odds ar eshe will never improve and then it will just be an average vault for a NCAA chic..like a top 8 finish at conference

whocares said...

And why is there secretary training?

"Okay, not sure how they did it at your last job, but around here we file alphabetically. Here, let me show you what I mean. Also, we type in English. Please try to follow those rules."

blue said...

"this is the phone, when it makes a loud ringing noise, you pick it up and ask them who they would like to speak with, because it's not you"

ebntx said...

"And why is there secretary training?"

apparently there is school for this. where i used to work there were 6 sect and one had an associates degree for office secretary. she made the same money and had been there the longest. to me that justs tell me she was in it for the long haul. at least the others could say they were only doing it until something better came along.

Iam what i aint said...

"but around here we file alphabetically"

guffaw.

blue said...

maybe she was hoping to someday to become an executive assistant

Iam what i aint said...

"associates degree for office secretary"

do they have a minor in "i aspire to be 2nd rate"?

El Padrino said...

type writing skills (wpm)
steno
short-wording (called s/thing else)
dictating
shredding papers

weird but true

ebntx said...

good argument, but we didnt have those.

ebntx said...

time for lunch

El Padrino said...

i knew this girl that did that school thing

that's what she learned

Iam what i aint said...

anybody submitting Q's for the chizat? im glad this doesnt break up my lunch time.. hopefully it wont totally suck.

'penelope from boston' gave billy few slaps already..

thejaywhite said...

I had an ex girlfriend last night whose training to be a paralegal and I had to help her out with the math..pathetic...

she had 3 numbers that totaled 65...and she had to find out the % of 65 that each represented...then if you took away one of the numbers...and the other 2 numbers now had to add to 65 but stay proporionately the same....and she could not figure out how to do this

blue said...

i'm submitting questions about Ex-wives club...you know he watched it.

thejaywhite said...

fucking clerical work is for retards

blue said...

"so when the celtics draft Joakim Noah at #5, will he show up at the press conference wearing one of his dresses?"

El Padrino said...

still fine

blue said...

it looks to me like that top might be a little too small for ms. locklear.

thejaywhite said...

celts will take noah...i have a good buddy who is a celts fan..this reminds me of a very similar situation in the mid 90s when there was a dominant college big man in the draft..who we all knew would bust in the pros..and all my friend could say as the celts walked up with the pick..anybody but this guy....and who did the celts draft...oh yaaa..eric montross

El Padrino said...

noah aint top 5 son

blue said...

EP-
You're not thinking like Danny Ainge.

El Padrino said...

Pubes!

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