Tuesday, April 24, 2007

"Remember when" is the lowest form of conversation

PHX is nice. darn nice team. im writing this and it aint even halftime yet, but im calling it for the Suns. eat a d*ck, TheRapist. you aint workin' magic with *this* Laker team. and i'm goin to sleep, but im confident about a win.

before the game Charles was talking about LA. he said something about "u know when u have a new car, and an old car.. and you get the car, uh you know, like if you have the old car... save up and get the new one. cause youll have the old and new car." and then you can lock yourself in it and suck down fumes cause you went ahead and put a hose from the exhaust pipe and fed it in the window.. good god Charles, WTF are you talking about? please, just shuddup. yes, youre one of the only analysts that come wit some baxketball knowledge, and i DO like how you keeps it real.. but stick to like, 3- and 4-word sentences. k, thx! added bonus was Kenny and Cancer talking him down for a sec. ya know, its fun to make fun of someone directly to their face and them not realize it.. im guessing that feeling is amplified if you bag on someone who is (a) really rich and dumb and (2) on national tv. burn.

and if youre the Miami Heat now, you feel like a white girl working at a resort with Kobe coming in for the weekend. you can see it coming, but u cant do anything about it. youre gonna get bow-nuh-ded.

NYY lost to the Devil Rays. thats all. i'll let that one settle in your skull for a sec.

Griffey Jr hit a knock to move him past Reggie on the list. did u know Reggie once scored like 27 points in like 8 seconds? and his sister scored 100 points in a game too.. oh wait, wrong reggie. i apparently dont know this cat.

are wine hangovers worse than beer/likka hangovers? i dont know cause i dont rock wine unless me and kod are chillin', but the Cougher drinks wine and he admitted that he didnt come the other day (and probably every other time he hasnt shown) in b/c he was wasted. dont u grow out of that at some point? maybe getting your anus stretched like a balloon justifies still getting trashed when youre 60. who knows.

and as a last note, the EnnEffEll had this to say about the stickiest of the icky.. dont tell! "I'm troubled by the breach of confidentiality," Goodell told USA Today. "Whenever you get into these situations leading up to the draft, you have a lot of misinformation put out there."

by leaking info like this, youre hurting the product. if youre hurting the product, youre affecting money and revenues. if youre f*cking with the man's money, he's gonna backhand you. it's the buddy system, but in corporate america terms. dont state the obvious (that college kids, let alone college *athletes* have smoked weed). oh no!!! does coming out and making this statement (telling people to hush up) make it seem like theyre deliberately trying to cover stuff like this up.. but theyre just flat out telling us that theyre trying to cover it up now.. so im lost. are we supposed to care about stupid shit like this still? should we ax em if theyve drank alcohol or fornicated outside the binds of marriage? the nfl, our pillar of morality.

alrighty, have at it.

431 comments:

1 – 200 of 431   Newer›   Newest»
whocares said...

Cheap housing!!!

whocares said...

Wait, is that contest still running?

whocares said...

I sent out an e-mail to a couple of folks yesterday and none of them have responded. So I just fired out an "Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?"



I bet maybe one of them get the joke, the rest are going to be thinking who the fuck is Bueller?

El Padrino said...

wine is a brutal hangover

El Padrino said...

but at 60 you should always be drunk so that's no excuse

blue said...

yeah, wine hangover is worse then beer in my opinion

El Padrino said...

"GIULIANI WARNS OF 'NEW 9/11' IF DEMS WIN "

i love Drudge Report

blue said...

I don't think that Goodell is trying to cover things up, his point is that in order for athletes to be completely honest in their combine interviews, those interviews need to be confidential, it's a respect thing.

blue said...

Guiliani has had too much of that fat free frozen yogurt, it's frozen his brain

whocares said...

Respek is big in the AA community.

Notsomuch with whitey.

Padre Haterous said...

dubcee, care package coming your way..

including: a burned up 2x4 from a house near 6 mile, a used condom, spare change that i Injun-gifted off a homeless guy, a rubber tube for your arm and..

wait.. shit, it just got stolen. i left it in my car and i just watched a guy break out my window. maybe next time.

blue said...

I love detroit

whocares said...

oh well. it's the thought that counts, I guess.

But a used condom suuuure woulda made my day.

Padre Haterous said...

roger goodell doesnt GAF about respek.

bottom line is that he doesnt want his league displayed as young, dumb, druggie, jailbirds.

blue said...

i disagree, if they had released that all 3 of those guys were revealed as "kod's bottoms" in those interviews he'd be pissed.

ToddPacker said...

"EnnEffEll"


that cracked me up for some reason

blue said...

i like phonetics

Padre Haterous said...

today a subject was brought up in the morning meeting that is insanely insignificant, but it sparked a massive pissing contest between a bunch of people. and now the bitchy bitch keeps walking around and loudly stating her opinion.

fine, youre right, whatthephuckevar! stfu or i'll kobe your face.

Padre Haterous said...

the last thing the nfl wants is gay players to come out.

balee dat.

ToddPacker said...

kobe her

tem said...

RE: buffet seconds

I think if it was a buffet and you stay that long then you can totally go up again. Especially if it is a Chinese buffet.

Padre Haterous said...

he'd be mad not for the privacy reason, but because of all the unwanted attention brought to his league (and remember, he's just starting, he doesnt want this shit on his watch this soon). hence the suspensions.

blue said...

dumb things on resumes

I think #4 might be meiz.

ToddPacker said...

kod might be #9

El Padrino said...

louie anderson joke i think

re: chinese buffet

you here for four howa, why you stay for four howa?

leave now, no more crab legs for you

ToddPacker said...

i don't think that was louie anderson.... some other fat guy

El Padrino said...

and $5 is yum yum

El Padrino said...

who knows, some fat guy made the joke

ToddPacker said...

i googled chinese buffet comedian:


john pinette

Padre Haterous said...

buffet = no time limit. you rip that ish and watch em weep.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

It was that heeeyyyyyuuuuuge dude from Last Comic Standing. Ralph somethingorother

Padre Haterous said...

"3. ... explained a three-month gap in employment by saying that he was getting over the death of his cat."

Cougher?

Padre Haterous said...

ralphie may

blue said...

ralphie got robbed that season

Padre Haterous said...

i cant wait to see shaq bounced from the first round. please deity, please.

ToddPacker said...

it was john pinette

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

It was Menstealia

tem said...

Dat Phan is awesome.

He is Korean. He makes fun of him being Korean.

It was Pinette.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I stopped drinking at 8:10 last night because I could barely stand. I was in the fucking zone.

El Padrino said...

outstanding work meiz

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

BILL BRASKY ONCE SIRED AN ENTIRE BASKETBALL TEAM!!

blue said...

dat phan is vietnamese, but same thing

blue said...

dat phan's nickname is charlie

tem said...

same thing.

ToddPacker said...

the bill brasky sketches were great

tem said...

Also, wtf was Charles talking about?

And who is the new guy on baseball tonight? He isn't as smooth as Harold R. was.

Padre Haterous said...

charlie is a one trick pony

Corbin said...

Good work on the power rankings...

Sincerly,
the used car salesman

Kim Jong Il said...

that game was brutar rast night

Corbin said...

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE WALK OFF SQUEEZE!!!!!

WOO.

Kim Jong Il said...

got drunk, fer asreep in the fof quoter

ToddPacker said...

endy... endy... endy

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I once sat in a car in an empty parking lot with Bill Brasky. We waited 2 years until they built a bar around us. We went in, had a drink, and burned the place to the ground afterward because Bill Brasky likes to leave things the way he found them.

ToddPacker said...

Bill Brasky drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls

tem said...

Walk off squeeze?

tem said...

I missed that totally.

tem said...

kji got drunk?

i thought you could drink kegs at a time and still be OK to drive?

El Padrino said...

walk off drag bunt single to win the game tem

mets last night

ToddPacker said...

Walk off bunt

blue said...

the rockies are worthless

whocares said...

Walkoff drag bunt = pussy version of walkoff homerun.

Congrats Mets fans, now STFU.

ToddPacker said...

cook pitched well for them last night

whocares said...

"the rockies are worthless"



The Mountains or the baseball team?

Please advise

ToddPacker said...

come on, wc.... i stayed up late last to see that walk off bunt in the 12th

blue said...

that john denver was full of shit

El Padrino said...

wc with a high hard one

tem said...

Walkoff bunt, ala Major League.

tem said...

Did the dude call his shot to center field and then bunt?

whocares said...

Did he go into the stands and bone Renee Russo after the game?

El Padrino said...

no he awkardlay tried to speak english to the beat reporter on tv

Padre Haterous said...

is Skeazel already out for the week?

show your face skeezy. i need to rest deez nutz.

Isiah Thomas said...

woo woo

THIS IS NOT A GAME PEOPLE.

tem said...

WHAAAAA??????

OK, late John Denver was full of shit, but he was spot on with Country Roads.


He went west and lost his mind. but prior to that he was as sharp as a tack.

Isiah Thomas said...

Short Recap in case anyone missed the Phx/LA game

Suns Lakers


=====> -- -- -- O :
OO

tem said...

I've been brainwashed to believe that.

blue said...

rene russo is old now

blue said...

rene russo is old now

ToddPacker said...

bas-bol been berry berry good to me

tem said...

oh noes.

Rosie is leaving The View...

whocares said...

Zeke,

I'm guessing you caught the halftime interview with your boy Barbossa?


Sager: Tell me what was going through your mind when you got that third foul.


CB: I wass berry berry sad.

blue said...

re: John Denver

he's the greatest american songwriter ever...who else can claim to have written 2 songs that are unofficial state anthems

El Padrino said...

Beisbol. Me gusta!

tem said...

uh oh, food time.

tem said...

Country Roads is the official state anthem.

whocares said...

*I was typing the Barbossa thing before I saw TP's post. I swear I didnt rip the berry berry off.

blue said...

"Country Roads is the official state anthem. "

this makes me sad for WV for some reason

El Padrino said...

the reason why i heart Wikipedia

John Denver = John Deutschendorf

blue said...

lynyrd skynryd only wrote one state anthem

El Padrino said...

MEIN KAMPF!

Isiah Thomas said...

"....added bonus was Kenny and Cancer talking him...."

Cancer....AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

whocares said...

"he's the greatest american songwriter ever...who else can claim to have written 2 songs that are unofficial state anthems"



Bill Brasky can.

Isiah Thomas said...

HIIIIIEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL

whocares said...

"lynyrd skynryd only wrote one state anthem"




That aint our state anthem. I hate that fucking song.

ToddPacker said...

"I was typing the Barbossa thing before I saw TP's post. I swear I didnt rip the berry berry off"


did we ever come up with a name for when that type of stuff happens... i know ben does it a lot

tem said...

wiki says it is not official, but i am pretty sure it is.

tem said...

wiki says that about country roads.

anyway, really it is lunch time.

El Padrino said...

WIKI is official like a referee with a whistle.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"he's the greatest american songwriter ever...who else can claim to have written 2 songs that are unofficial state anthems"

I'm protesting this. My vote goes to Neil Diamond.

Isiah Thomas said...

I wrote about LB's halftime interveiew in my wilt stretch yesterday....

how can you not root for the guy?

El Padrino said...

Biggie Smalls

blue said...

i don't know if wc really is a true alabaman...he doesn't like nascar, or even go to talladega, hates lynrd skynrd...what's next, you're gonna tell me you don't like fishin?

you are crushing ever stereotype i've ever had

El Padrino said...

or John Lennon

blue said...

does Lennon count as an american songwriter?

El Padrino said...

WC is a scholar and a gentleman.

He has many leather bound books and his house smells of rich mahogany.

blue said...

WC probably hass all his teeth too

Kim Jong Il said...

barbosa wishes every game was against the rakers

Isiah Thomas said...

I'll throw a vote in for Biggie Smalls, I mean he gave us "The 10 Crack Commandments". Granted these have been known before he wrote it but he put it in lyrical form.

RIP BIG

whocares said...

Yeah Ben. The stereotype doesnt really fit most folks in Alabama, just the backwoods redneck.


I dont like to hunt, fish, go to Nascar races, or line dance. I've never been on the Springer show, nor slept with my sister or any relative for that matter.

But for the record, I dont hate Lynrd Skynrd. I just hate Sweet Home Alabama. I celebrat their entire catalog outside of that song.

El Padrino said...

Do you have all your teeth?

ToddPacker said...

how 'bout a 4 wheel drive truck?

El Padrino said...

what county WC, i have a map on Wiki

blue said...

sorry, i opened up a can of worms here.

my wife is from alabama and her family is not redneck, but i like to tease them as if they were

blue said...

steve nash had a ticket to the gun show last night.

El Padrino said...

i'm guessing Lee county due to your allegience to the Tigers

El Padrino said...

Wiki says It's :

The Loveliest Village on the Plains

and i believe them.

Padre Haterous said...

I celebrate michael bolton's entire catalog. god, i just cant pick my favorite one, knowwhatimean?!

El Padrino said...

Columbus Ohio is

The Arch City" &
"The Discovery City

Wiki rocks.

Padre Haterous said...

omar vizquel is 40.

hmm.

El Padrino said...

John Tesh is the greatest.

El Padrino said...

40 * 1.5 = 60

whocares said...

ElP,


I lived in Lee County when I went to Auburn, but now I live in Jefferson County (Birmingham).

whocares said...

All teeth, yes.



Truck, no.

whocares said...

I think I mistated about the stereotype. There are plenty of folks like me who would be classified as "city folk", but there are more than enough guys I went to Auburn with that you would consider extremely country.


Like they hunted and fished and drove big trucks, but really werent rednecks. More preppy than anything.

El Padrino said...

Wiki says about Birmingham:

"The Magic City" or

"Pittsburgh of the South"

awesome.

ToddPacker said...

"prepp-necks" ?

whocares said...

"prepp-necks" ?



Never heard that before, but yeah. That is pretty much the case 90% of the time. You could probably classify half my friends that way.

El Padrino said...

or "red-preps"

either or, both roll off the toungue

Padre Haterous said...

good wordization

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I dispise rednecks

Kim Jong Il said...

mitch kupchak rooks rike KGB

Padre Haterous said...

joey simpson helping out Brit?

El Padrino said...

papa joe loves tig ol bitties

we know this

blue said...

The pittsburgh of the south is because birmingham is because of the steel industry, not the smell, i'm pretty sure.

El Padrino said...

Pittsburgh smells?

i didnt know that

whocares said...

Yeah, something about steel production here.

I work about two hundred yards from a place called Sloss Furnace. Used to be the biggest producer of steel in the country, or region, or some shit like that. Of course, it's closed now and they say it's haunted.


Lunch

blue said...

Pittsburgh smells

I tried to find the comic but couldn't. Also Sienna Miller talked about how the town smelled like sewer and called it Shitsburgh

Isiah Thomas said...

weasels smell

Mills said...

my high school has a wiki page.

it has a famous alumni page that includes 2 slipknot people that i have never heard of, the guy who wrote "what's eating gilbert grape" and matt bullard. nice. they left off dana jacobsen. wtf?

Padre Haterous said...

pittsburgh is in pennsylvania, which houses philly, which means it all sucks.

sorry to B'ham, but with that nickname, youre guilty by association now.

El Padrino said...

this is true

blue said...

banned John Daly commercial

a 10 on the unintentional comedy scale, although it may be intentional

Isiah Thomas said...

weazy once you 86 yourself we'll have Freak update your hike school wiki page with the info.

El Padrino said...

the daly commercial is comedy

tem said...

Pittsburgh smells like roses on a breezy spring afternoon.

tem said...

That was a good video.

Why is it funny?

tem said...

I bet kji goes rong.

tem said...

what is dana jacobsen?

Mills said...

she is a sports center anchor

blue said...

dana is a dude's name

tem said...

never heard of her.

they have female anchors?

what for?

tem said...

i guess chicks can read, but does she even know the difference between football and baseball?

Padre Haterous said...

the human joystick is now a
Ram

Keith S said...

Nomar's wife is chatting on espn now. The introduction for it says "She recently gave birth to the couple's first children - a pair of twins."
Wouldn't that be quadruplets?

Padre Haterous said...

its funny to hear dumb people complain about all the dumb people in the world. (irony not lost)

tem said...

dumb people are dumb.

tem said...

mia sucks, she wouldn't be my slump buster.

blue said...

i hate the name mia

blue said...

not enough consanants

tem said...

what about amy.

it is 1 and a half i guess.

jugdish said...

Too many consanants and suddenly she is a cab driver.

El Padrino said...

jugdish?

wait, what?

no?

jugdish said...

I'd just like to point out that the Yankees are in last place in their division, behind EVEN the Devil Rays. Has that happened ever?

blue said...

i don't think there are any yankee fans here...we should recruit a yankee fan to mock

El Padrino said...

not since the drays went 1-0 a couple of years ago and the yanks went 0-2

ToddPacker said...

yes it has jug, a couple of times, always early in the season

tem said...

go rays!

Padre Haterous said...


nice blog link

ToddPacker said...

a coulpe of friends of mine were at the game last night.... they said that a bunch of people had brooms.... 2 game sweep over the skanks is a big deal.... especially when half the crowd are dirtbag yankee fans

El Padrino said...

i forgot how out-fucking-standing Kit-Kats were

El Padrino said...

tp i've been meaning to ask you

that stadium looks like a shithole

please advise.

tem said...

Kit-Kats are just OK.

Keith S said...

DQ has a kit kat blizzard now. It's phenomenal.

ToddPacker said...

yea 'the trop' is a dump... it looks worse on tv, which doesn't help... the new owners put a lot of money into fixing up the interior, but it's still kind of dumpy... it sucks because they are locked into a 20 year lease, and there was a group trying to build a new stadium in tampa but that's not going to happen

El Padrino said...

i should buy a DQ and open it up in Brooklyn

this would work

If anyone is intrested in sending money to me so I can buy a DQ franchise please use the email address I provided for my LASIK fund which raised well over 3 cents. Thank you.

tem said...

20 years is a long time.

DQ makes me shit within 10 minutes of eating it.

El Padrino said...

MEET ME @ DA TROP!

Isiah Thomas said...

DQ makes me shit within 10 minutes of eating it.

Ice cream/soft serve makes you shit?

blue said...

you know what drives me nuts...reporters who are reporting from "tampa bay". Are they seriously out there in the middle of the bay?

Kim Jong Il said...

pay thiat man, pay thiat man his maney

Isiah Thomas said...

they're ordering wings and pizza for lunch because its "Administrative Professionals Day" but they've turned it into "Employee Appreciation Day"

tem said...

Just DQ.

tem said...

Oh i should thank the admins around here.

Padre Haterous said...

"you dont sound black"

a guy here asked why a black person would be offended if they were told this.

Isiah Thomas said...

are you talking about the soft serve or their food?

Padre Haterous said...

tem, have yours fetch both of us a coffee.

ToddPacker said...

"you know what drives me nuts...reporters who are reporting from "tampa bay". Are they seriously out there in the middle of the bay?"

i hear ya blue... people say that all the time... here are a couple of more strange things about the area:

the tampa bay devil rays play in st pete.

the tampa bay lightning play in tampa in a building called the st. pete times forum.

the university of south florida is in tampa, when most people consider south florida the maimi area... why not call it the university of west florida?

blue said...

why does kim have a russian accent now?

tem said...

it's the ice cream.

tem said...

i don't drink coffee. i am working on them ordering a cake for themselves so i can eat it.

blue said...

next you tell me that the bucs play on harbour island

Padre Haterous said...

people eat the DQ 'food'?

tem said...

BUsch Gardens is in Tampa, just south of USF.

blue said...

administrative professionals day? and people care about this? hell if you asked our admins, everyday is admin day.

Padre Haterous said...

'i don't drink coffee.'

me neither, i just wanted to pour it out in front of them. nice work with the cake.

blue said...

i lived in tampa when i was real real little, i remember almost nothing about it.

blue said...

busch gardens and sea world are the only thing i remember

ToddPacker said...

i once threw a dq burger at the guy behind the counter.... i was asked to leave before the authorities showed up...

ToddPacker said...

"busch gardens and sea world are the only thing i remember"


sea world is not in tampa, it's in orlando

tem said...

Blizzards make me poop.

blue said...

I was little it was all tampa to me, including disney world

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