Tuesday, April 10, 2007

And Here We Are

Well let's get some of the sports type information out of the way. Like Zeke said yesterday, y'all probably know everything I am going to write, but I'm gonna write it anyway. Mostly because I want to.

Astros demote Lidge - If you didn't see this coming you must not follow baseball at all.

The WWL says Troy Smith is a can miss Heismann winner...umm no shit.

Durant and Wright to the draft - Wright sounds like a sure thing to go, Durant is still just "reports" that he will go. He will go. For 30M$ from Nike he'd be nuts not to.

NHL Playoffs start soon. Two + months from now they will be over.

I imagine that none of that was news to you. Well TFB. You read it, you can't unread it. And for those of you who skipped to this point, well you are smarter than me.

So Durant going Pro, seems like a no-brainer. It is. But there will still be people who say you should stay in school. Umm, why? I went to college. Then I got a job. In all honesty college did very little to prepare me for my job. Ask anyone this question, they all say the same thing. I did learn a lot of useless stuff though, so I got that going for me. I also learned how to pound beer, do drugs and take advantage of drunk chicks. So really all Durant will be missing out on is those things, which I bet he already knows how to do.

The only two arguments I can imagine being remotely valid is that you need more work on your game (see Greg Oden, but he'll come out anyway) or that you are so young that you need the college atmosphere to shield you from the mistakes you will make. Well I can't argue with anyone who really needs to work on their game, if you ain't good enough then you should stay in school. But if every team says that you are the #1 or #2 pick then guess what, you are good enough. As far as the sheltering college atmosphere, well 30M$ does a lot of sheltering as well. Just ask any NBAer who has ever strolled through airport security with some weed and then found someone willing to take the blame for it.

In short, college is overrated. Especially for someone who is going to make millions playing a game. If anyone in the office starts spouting off that these kids should stay in school to get an education I am going to whip it out and piss in their face. Durant doesn't need to learn about the French Revolution or Calculus. And let's face it, he isn't taking those courses anyway. He is taking Dodgeball 404 Advanced Throwing Techiniques and Astrology 202 What's Your Sign?

OK enough of the random tem rant. Is temrant a word? I might have to get that made into a word if it isn't. Screw it, I am looking it up now. No entries found. Awesome. Now all I have to do is define it and get a bunch of people to use it. I can't think of a better place to start than here. This idea is NIT good. Fuck, it's better that that, it is Grandma good.

OK have at it bee snatches. And remember the word of the day is temrant.

602 comments:

1 – 200 of 602   Newer›   Newest»
ToddPacker said...

temrant

ToddPacker said...

"Dodgeball 404 Advanced Throwing Techiniques"


that's a pretty advanced class... i think they have to write dodgeball papers

temwr said...

i am nearly positive that i am going to have to piss on someone today.

El Padrino said...

grandma good argument tem

temwr said...

yeah there are papers, but he gets someone else to write them for him.

El Padrino said...

eat some asparagus then piss on someone

Steve said...

saying:
"I also learned how to pound beer, do drugs and take advantage of drunk chicks."

and then in the next breath saying:
"college is overrated"

is blasphemy!!!

Steve said...

your going to hell for that Tem, save me a seat.

temwr said...

I could have learned how to do those things without going to college.


Plus now you learn those things in hike school.

Steve said...

Oh, i'm going for it

your paternal parent said...

its tuesday.. i hope you all die.

temwr said...

Dodgeball 202 is Blocking A Throw With A Ball In Your Hand.

your paternal parent said...

ive never even heard of this Imus guy before this ish.

temwr said...

I am also pissed it is tuesday, but will refrain from a temrant on the topic.

El Padrino said...

brandon inge 0-20

nice

temwr said...

I still don't know who this Imus guy is. He has a radio show? Is it on NPR?

El Padrino said...

i wonder if rev crawled into bed holding a spiral ham after watching those highlights

rev should make a "Hurt" video like Sad Kermit

but with food as the drugs

temwr said...

*I meant I also don't know who....

El Padrino said...

never heard of IMUS in the Morning?

he's been on air in NY for like 25 years i think, his show is national and is shown on MSNBC

Steve said...

Imus

temwr said...

Rollins error...Rev eats 5 tastykakes.


Phillies bring in a reliever...Rev eats entire Pizza


Phillies lose again...Rev eats 4 cheesesteaks.


I don't see how this idea could go wrong.

ben said...

i've heard this Imus guys name, but I thought he was a comedian guy...when i saw his picture I was very confused...never heard his show.

temwr said...

The good thing about this is that I learned nappy headed was a racial term.

I thought that could apply to anyone. Now I know and knowing is...

your paternal parent said...

"The radio host tried to shift some of the focus from himself, saying, "that phrase originated in the black community. ... I may be a white man, but I know that these young women and young black women all through that society are demeaned and degraded by their own black men and that they are called that name."

he then added, just cause im white i cant use the phrase "my nigga"? that's preposterous!

your paternal parent said...

"he's been on air in NY for like 25 years i think, his show is national and is shown on MSNBC"

this explains everything. no wonder.

El Padrino said...

he's an old, miserable fuck

makes for good radio

ben said...

the stupid thing is, his ratings will probably double when he comes back from suspension.

Steve said...

yep ben, and he'll probably write a damn book

El Padrino said...

Tem go to lunch

ben said...

I won't buy his nappy ass book.

ben said...

don't start another temrant about lunchtimes.

temwr said...

lunch time is in 45 minutes.

it's going to be me, the lawyer, and the land guy. none of that makes sense to any of you, but IDGAF.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Fuck Don Imus.

New topic.

El Padrino said...

warriors might make the playoffs
pacers suck

that trade in feb looks like GS got the better

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

GS is dangerous, but they ain't winning more than 2 games if they get in.

temwr said...

I'm unsure where the last 25 minutes of my life went.

I might have fallen asleep.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I busted out and 8-pack of Miller Lite shorties last night. Good times.

temwr said...

I doubt GS even wins 2. But that is a good place to put the over/under.

ben said...

is an 8 pack of miller lite kind of like the heineken holiday 5 pack?

ToddPacker said...

"makes for good radio"

i would respectfully disagree, ep.... i never thought he was funny...

sorry, meiz... next topic

ToddPacker said...

"Rollins error...Rev eats 5 tastykakes.


Phillies bring in a reliever...Rev eats entire Pizza


Phillies lose again...Rev eats 4 cheesesteaks.


I don't see how this idea could go wrong."



very funny stuff, tem

El Padrino said...

i love nips

ToddPacker said...

i don't like miller-lite.... if i'm going the cheap route i go bud light

El Padrino said...

sure tp, not your cup of tea
i dont listen to him always but when i do he's a hater and i like haters

ToddPacker said...

nips.... i couldn't remember that yesterday... we also called them 1-hitters

ToddPacker said...

"sure tp, not your cup of tea
i dont listen to him always but when i do he's a hater and i like haters"


that's true he is a hater, but i've always been a stern fan... imus seemed 2nd rate next to stern even though imus has been around longer

temwr said...

I dislike Bud Light and go Miller Lite when I go cheap, which is pretty much most of the time.

Having said that I wouldn't turn a free Bug Light down, or a Coors Light, but I would turn down a free Blatz...maybe.

El Padrino said...

think im going nips tw befroe the met game

park, drink, chant

El Padrino said...

i mutombo coors light
it's no where near beer

everything else (light) i reluctantly drink

ToddPacker said...

"park, drink, chant"

you left out

", buy watered down stadium beer, drink, pee, drink more, watch mets beat 'why not us'"

ben said...

I drank a CL the other day for the first time in quite a while, it was a bad decision.

ToddPacker said...

i agree, ep... can't drink CL... i'll drink miller lite if it's the only thing around or free, but can't handle the coors

Steve said...

I hate nips. Every time I see that world I think nipple slip and instinctively scroll up looking for a link.

El Padrino said...

that was pre game tp
your ahead of me
that order goes like this

enter stadium
buy two beers immediately
sit down
buy tow more from vendor (straight from botttle)
order a couple of sausage and peppers & curly fries
chop off leg to pay for it
chant JIMMY ROLLINS every 5 minutes
boo adam eaton
watch mets pound phils all while screaming why not us

and rev wants me to meet him in CBP sometime this year for a met/philly game

he has no clue

ben said...

yes, nips are good when referring to nip slips.

your paternal parent said...

hater radio show... i would be fired by the end of the first week.

and i wouldnt apologize with some "not everybody deserves to be made fun of" bullshit.

if anything, more people deserve it. keep it roofless.

El Padrino said...

i could never have my own show
not even on satelite

could you imagine my unspeakable segment?

i'd be banned to yemen

ben said...

do they speak yemenian in yemen?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"is an 8 pack of miller lite kind of like the heineken holiday 5 pack?"

Shorties only come in 8 packs.

Steve said...

Nope They Speak Arabic

whocares said...

They speak yemeneez.

El Padrino said...

khazakastan then
i'll chill with borat and the neighbor that fucks goats

ToddPacker said...

steve knows yemen

whocares said...

Just got done moving offices, and I am now in a more "heavily trafficked" area.


Bad times.

ToddPacker said...

the one with the small ipod

ToddPacker said...

that sucks, wc.... move back, don't tell anyone.... just start moving your crap back to your old spot

your paternal parent said...

watched the first hour and some change of B of Bros, it was solid. i have no idea how long each "part" is though, but theres a bunch of em..

your paternal parent said...

i farted in the fridge yesterday cause i thought it would make me laugh.

it did.

El Padrino said...

wc = feel for ya bro

El Padrino said...

ypp = try the stove

ToddPacker said...

"fridge fart"... nice, for whatever reason that reminds me of piss-ice and that's funny

temwr said...

farting in the fridge is funny stuff.


now it is lunch time.

i expect to read some temrants when I return.

El Padrino said...

i'm on vaca next week
steve driving down to north carolina, little town called franklin

ben said...

tem goes to lunch at 11:30 to get the early bird special...senior citizens get a discount if they get to lunch before 11:45

El Padrino said...

"Kurtz, whom Imus once called a "boner-nosed, beanie-wearing Jew boy," said Imus may now understand that his remarks about the Rutgers team crossed the line."

funny

your paternal parent said...

work offers me no stove, so i may resort to the the microwave.

ToddPacker said...

i've driven through franklin many times on my way up to the smokey mountains.... 441 i think

El Padrino said...

12-13 hours from here
i wish it was just I-95 straight down but it's not

ben said...

you have family there EP? or did you just wake up one day and say "I think we should go to Franklin, NC. That would be a hoot."

El Padrino said...

family

they used to live in WPB, FL

why the fuck they traded that in to live in buttfuck NC is beyond me
i guess the fact that you could buy 40 acres and a mule for the price i pay a month to rent my 5 room apartment was too much to pass up

Isiah Thomas said...

woo woo

THIS IS NOT A GAME PEOPLE.

Isiah Thomas said...

with the way the Phils are playing now, Rev will be up to 5 bills by the time his wedding comes around.

Isiah Thomas said...

fridge fart = standing o

El Padrino said...

he needs to make a sad rev al la sad lermit video

replace the drugs with food

El Padrino said...

I HURT MYSELF .... TOOODDAAAYY

El Padrino said...

the whopper fills clogs my arteries.....

whocares said...

Out on the fo foety one, lika waves, crashin on a beach.

whocares said...

Now I just shut my door more.


Before I was tucked away in a little corner office (with no windows), now I'm on the main hallway with some of the "bigwigs". So there are people constantly walking around here trying to kiss their ass.

El Padrino said...

at least you have an office

whocares said...

That's true.

ben said...

TPS has been going amoeba zone on me early in the day. Too many jumpshots from me early on.

El Padrino said...

drive the hole ben, get to the line

whocares said...

And now that I'm over here, one of them said something that was incredibly not funny and I had to give him the fake chuckle.



A little bit of me died inside.

El Padrino said...

i've been using an effective full court press all morning

i've force 12 to's by halftime

El Padrino said...

oh man the fake laugh situation

terrible

Isiah Thomas said...

does Al Sharpton have a blog? I'm declaring war on Al Sharpton.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I don't ever laugh at non-funny jokes. I leave that up to Bossman and Sabrina. It's sad, really.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I believe hes got sharptalk.net

your paternal parent said...

if i had a door, i'd fucking close it right now.

dude in my 4 cube area is on this stupid site that has a 4 second loop playing...

its relatively loud, and wont shut it off.. ive dropped a few smart ass comments about it, which accomplished nothing..

im about to go beat him with his keyboard.

your paternal parent said...

wc, dont kneel to the powers of the Charity Laugh... noooooooo

ben said...

LOV needs theme music that's looped.

your paternal parent said...

song is done.. murder wasnt the case that i gave him, thankfully.

my head hurts and i feel like i just got out of a freaking rave...

your paternal parent said...

charity laughs wear on your soul.. i gave them up a long time ago.

Isiah Thomas said...

sometimes I'll give a "oh that's funny" instead of the courtesy laugh

El Padrino said...

i go the single "HA" route

ben said...

I go the Greg Oden *blank stare* route, or I just walk away.

your paternal parent said...

a few people are continuing the Imus thing.. however, one of the black ladies is involved in the convo...

the 2 guys in question.. um, lets say that i wouldnt trust them to tactfully handle any racial comments... i could see them outright axing "are u offended by 'jiggaboo'?"

El Padrino said...

jigaboo

hahahhahaha

yeah not good, say goodbye to them
they are as good as done

El Padrino said...

i dont think i've ever been offended once in my whole life

your paternal parent said...

i give a "hmm", like.. hmm.. thats not funny. to their face. dont lead them on.

'Sympathy's better than having to tell you the truth'.

dont cop out, let people know theyre not up to your standards.

your paternal parent said...

oh shit, the bitch lady on the other side of the wall is whispering about hooking me up.. im actually frightened of who she 'knows'..

and just axed my age.. im frightened.

ben said...

age ain't nothin but a number

ben said...

i'm only as old as I feel

ben said...

Rutger's team response

he has caused them great sadness.

your paternal parent said...

she could set me up with some heffers, im sure

Isiah Thomas said...

TPS has left me no other choice, I've been forced to pull a "Raja Bell clothesline on Kobe" move to get some 'spect back.

Recognize TPS.

Isiah Thomas said...

nappy headed ho's must = the new n word.

who knew?

your paternal parent said...

i need to work with some young people.. eff this

ben said...

some of the players on the team have nappy hair, that's just true...the ho part might be a little much

El Padrino said...

there some ho's in this house, there's some ho's in this house

Isiah Thomas said...

there some ho's in this house, there's some ho's in this house

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Isiah Thomas said...

what if he said it about a WNBA team? is it bc they're in college? Are there any white chicks on Rutgers?

ben said...

uh oh...Jemele Hill has her take on the Don Imus "scandal"

your paternal parent said...

we need a good picture of Rutgers in-game to see if they truly are nappy.

team photo op will only show them as nice young ladies... we gotta see them bitchez in their natural habitat.

your paternal parent said...

jemele is so excited this week, she finally got a story right in her wheelhouse.. awesome!

Isiah Thomas said...

I don't know why I do this. But ESPN was force-feeding another Jemele Hill creation on its main page about Imus.

I regret reading it. I want to cut out my eyeballs.

Isiah Thomas said...

the next LOV bet must include changing your pic to ESPN's pic of Jemele Hill.

Isiah Thomas said...

I guarantee she's rocking some 50 cent in her ipod.

But bc an old white guy used the word "ho" the end of the world is near.

Maybe she's missed the last 20 years of rap music.

your paternal parent said...

my new official cutdown is now nappy headed ho.

El Padrino said...

word on the rap game

El Padrino said...

someone find whitlocks take on this
at least he'll be honest

your paternal parent said...

"Tell you what, if this "nappy-headed ho" comment is as harmless as some of you say it is, say that phrase to your wives and girlfriends tonight (or even a woman on the street). If they laugh, I'll write an entire column about how humorless I am." - jemele

my mom would laugh. guaranteed. then again, i say "sup nooka" when i talk to her and she thinks nothing of it.

your paternal parent said...

and my nickname for my sister was "skank".

Isiah Thomas said...

the really sad part about all this, if Al Sharpton hadn't piped up would all of this be happening?

Somone like Sharpton tries to get some pub for himself by talking it up then everyone gets into the "oh so many people think its bad so I think its bad too" mentality.

The "join the herd" mentality is sickening.

ben said...

I call my sister a lesbian, she wouldn't mind be called a nappy ass ho. My wife would laugh.

your paternal parent said...

doing the whole "calling for someone to get fired" thing is getting tired.

temwr said...

New big boss just gave me a fist bump.

I died a lot inside with that one.


Boss:"The numbers worked out great"

***boss goes for fist bump***

**tem obliges, dies a lot inside**

tem:"Wow fist bumps have made it into the office setting"

Boss: "yeah they are the new thing"

**tem dies more inside**

El Padrino said...

just called my wife nappy headed ho
on the phone

she responded by calling me a dick hole

serious.

GET OVER YOURSELVES
THERE IS MORE IMPORTANT SHIT GOING ON THAN WHAT A 65 YEARD OLD WHITE GUY SAID ON THE RADIO

temwr said...

100% chance I call fmtem a nappy headed ho tonight.

ben said...

fist bump is worse then the fake laugh.

El Padrino said...

forgot about this

where was sharpton then?

"For those of you who don't remember, back in November Irvin joked that the reason Romo is athletic is because his grandmother had sex with a slave. I found the statement completely offensive, and yet all I did was shoot an e-mail to my superiors. Essentially I gave Irvin a pass. Had Mike Ditka said the reason Donovan McNabb is intelligent is because his grandmother had sex with a slave owner, I'd have been looking for blood."

Isiah Thomas said...

tem did the broken hip permanently sideline the old big boss?

El Padrino said...

DOUBLE STANDARD

El Padrino said...

FTW
FTW

your paternal parent said...

how old is your fist tapper boss? the TBS Funny Station needs to know..

ben said...

fist bump is harder to ignore then unfunny joke though. If someone in the office goes for the fist bump, I "high five" it, or grab it and shake it, like I have no idea what they are doing.

also saying "high five" in the borat voice is always good.

Isiah Thomas said...

I don't think Sharpton had declared that he's running fo prezident back when Mike made his comments.

temwr said...

pacman sits out a year...

temwr said...

Fist tapper is about 42.


Broken hip has the CFO working from home for the next 3 months at least.

And by working from home I mean working for about 2hrs a day, max.

temwr said...

Fist tapper is being groomed to take over for the 75yr old patriarch.

temwr said...

At least until patriarch's son sells his other big business.

Then patriarch's son and fist bump guy will have to fight to the death.

Isiah Thomas said...

I'm pretty sure Pacman will either 187 someone whilehe's away or get 187'd.

RIP Pacman.

Steve said...

hahah the "fist bump"

it's has replace the "thumbs up"

temwr said...

Wow, Henry for 8 games too.

El Padrino said...

new sheriff in town

Steve said...

my boss would used to come in and say:

"Your on fire"

It was very very funny because he had a stuttering problem.

Steve said...

"Yo Yo Your On F Fi F Fir Fire"

Isiah Thomas said...

were you able to control your laughter?

Steve said...

long enough till he left and me and other co-workers could imitate him behind his back.


It's a running joke, it's been like 3 years and we still do.

High comedy

Isiah Thomas said...

one of the higher ups here has a bad lisp. Nice guy, bad lisp. Very funny.

El Padrino said...

like cable guy

lisps are great to make fun of

Isiah Thomas said...

I always have to look down in meetings when he speaks. Lispth are awethom.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Re: Fist bumps.

Tem, Develop a solid repoire with that guy and turn it into an over the top joke. Do the "explosion move" and also maybe a "Byow!!"

Make it as big deal every time. Draw some attention.

temwr said...

We have no speech impediments here.

Voice box guy was as close as I got and he was just here for a 1 time meeting.

Although I hope there is a sequel.

ToddPacker said...

taco bell.... bad choice, today.... probably a bad choice any day

ben said...

fist bump guy definitely watches "the office"

Steve said...

tem, i'm sorry for your loss

Isiah Thomas said...

tem add a flex after the fist bump, maybe even a "boo-yah".

Isiah Thomas said...

maybe preface the fist bump by saying "say hello to my lil friend" as you ball up your fist.

El Padrino said...

my favorite ascene in boogie nights and i had no idea this was alfred molina!!! aka dr. ock

Molina
BOOGIE NIGHTS (1997)
As a coked-up drug dealer who adores the songs Jessie's Girl and Sister Christian, Molina turned his only sequence into arguably the film's most memorable.

ToddPacker said...

fist bump guy = trying too hard

Isiah Thomas said...

I'll rock a Taco Bell lunch from time to time.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"fist bump guy definitely watches "the office" "

That was my first thought.

Isiah Thomas said...

What season is The Office on? Never seen an episode.

ToddPacker said...

soft taco shell was completely orange soaked with grease... i think i'm going meiz on the office bathroom this afternoon

ben said...

Office is on Thursday night, NBC

your paternal parent said...

Jessie's Girl is on the radio at this very moment. i found that funny.

El Padrino said...

man i havent had taco bell in a minute

they still got those cinnamon twists?

El Padrino said...

ypp, please watch that part
i think i remember you saying you never saw the movie

you will enjoy it if you didnt

do it
do it

ToddPacker said...

season 3, i think...

Isiah Thomas said...

I might have to hit up TB for lunch now.

ToddPacker said...

i'm def. going imus and calling mrs packer a NHH tonight... should be fun

ToddPacker said...

"I might have to hit up TB for lunch now"


i had a soft taco and a crunch-wrap supreme and about 4 quarts of gade 'f' meat grease

temwr said...

Fist bump guy definitely watches the Office. He has tried to talk to me about it, but I don't watch it.


His office is across the hall from mine so he randomly spouts off stuff.

Isiah Thomas said...

the grade F meat is the best.

How they get lips and hooves to taste so good is beyond me. But when you get that little bit of bone mixed in is when you're in trouble.

temwr said...

The patriarch's son calls fist bump guy "Princess."

It is high lar eee ous.


When patriarch son sells his big business and wants to take over for pop it will be a fight to the death.

Isiah Thomas said...

I almost had a moment of motivation to tackle the pile of TPS on my desk, the moment passed quickly.

ToddPacker said...

i watch the office
i think it's funny

ToddPacker said...

i hear ya, zeke.... tps is piling up at an alarming rate and i'm not paying any attention

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Some lady just brought in and is shipping an Emmy. Sweet.

I can't believe I'm handling an Emmy.

ben said...

I think the office is funny too. But that's because I can relate, I almost feel like i'm watching my old office on TV.

Isiah Thomas said...

call her a NHH deke.

ben said...

"I can't believe I'm handling an Emmy"

I've handled an Emmy...she had huge breasts.

ToddPacker said...

whose emmy?

Isiah Thomas said...

deke, drop it on the floor

ToddPacker said...

see if it bounces

El Padrino said...

be head the emmy

ToddPacker said...

pull a switch-a-roo and sell it on ebay

ToddPacker said...

emmy is for tv, right?

El Padrino said...

yea

tv

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