Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The 10 scroller you've been waiting for...

Actually, it might only be a 2 scroller. And I really think I'm hovering around C+ territory today.

No Eagles talk... I promise.

- Allow me to preview the coverage leading up to the NFC and AFC Championship games...

PATS COLTS PATS COLTS PATS COLTS PATS COLTS PATS COLTS PATS COLTS PATS COLTS PATS COLTS PATS COLTS SAINTS PATS COLTS PATS COLTS PATS BEARS COLTS PATS COLTS

Somewhere in there, we will get a few discussions about Rex Grossman and Drew Brees. But really let's just get ready for the Brady and Manning Show with special guest, Adam Vinatieri.

Boston friends I talk to now are bitter towards Adam Vinatieri. Maybe it's understandable. He plays for the enemy now. But really, they almost forgot that if it wasn't for his foot, they might not have that run of Super Bowl titles.

It would be some kind of karmic justice if Vinatieri won the game in the last second over the team that decided not to pay him. Or, it would really be karmic justice if the guy who replaced him, Steve Gostkowski, missed an important kick.

It will be fun. I'll have my Adam Vinatieri Pats throwback jersey on for that game.

- Speaking of jerseys, Chris Webber Sixers jerseys are going cheap. You can get your own for $19.99 right now. Probably less in a month or two.

This brings me to an interesting thought. Who the hell is the marketable Sixers jersey right now? Iverson is gone. Webber is gone. Those were the guys who sold the jerseys.

Igoudala? Korver? They make those jerseys, but I can't see anyone paying full price for one of those right now. Would you?

This is why I am switching back to my old Mutombo Sixers jersey if I decide to wear one. But that is only in honor of LOV. I'd do that for you guys.

But this is what kills me... Chris Webber on the Sixers brings them down and hinders them from making deals. Chris Webber on the Pistons gets you headlines on the WWL saying "Webber allows Pistons to make deals".

This is why some teams win championships and some teams struggle to sell jerseys.

- So Sammy Sosa might sign a minor league deal with Texas I see.

Texas... the place where free agents go to die. It makes sense.

I think Sosa realized the steroid era players were not going to get into the Hall of Fame after McGwire didn't get in, so he decided to try to keep playing forever instead. Then he could get into the Hall of Fame as the guy who played baseball until he was 97 years old.

Unless Julio Franco beats him to it.

- The list of candidates to become the Dolphins next head coach is laughable.

Granted, we don't know how Mike Shula would do in the NFL yet. But if it is anything like David did, it wil be laughable.

Jim Mora Jr is already being considered for the job. Dom Capers, Chan Gailey... didn't those guys already have a pro football track record of failure?

There's even speculation that they would go after Marty Schottenheimer if he becomes available.

Keep Miami on the list of teams that we won't have to worry about being good for the next couple of years.

That's all I got today. But really, that's all you need.

355 comments:

1 – 200 of 355   Newer›   Newest»
ToddPacker said...

i got it at a 4-scroller, rev

The Rev said...

I am fully convinced after today that DJ Gallo should always write the AM Jump forever and ever.

The "Gisom" references are classic today! And they are borderline offensive. Which makes them fantastic.

temwr said...

Is that Rooney rule still in effect in the NFL? Do teams still have to interview a minority coach?

The Rev said...

4 scrolls...

I'm losing it.

temwr said...

AM jump with the other people is retarded.

The Rev said...

I believe they do have to interview one minority.

temwr said...

RE: AM Jump and Mickleson

The Gallo guy must be reading the same shit Beth reads:

"Slimmer Phil Mickelson reportedly down an entire cup size"

temwr said...

Who did Arizona interview? Shell? Chow (I think he counts)?

It would be hilarious if they said they interviewed Green.

Beth82678 said...

When did Gallo post his? Maybe in addition to "hi bill" we need to start also saying "hi gallo".

Isiah Thomas said...

finally saw this Durant kid play last night. I know Ogden (sic) is hurt and playing one handed, but Durant seemed to have what Ogden is lacking - namely balls.

Isiah Thomas said...

I think AZ interviewed Ron Rivera which would satisfy the Rooney rule.

And the rule being named after Rooney cracks me up. You always hear about how the Rooney's are god's gift to ownership. Yet what does it say if there is a rule about not discriminating and its named after a beloved owner?

temwr said...

They couldn't interview Rivera because the Bears are still playing.

Isiah Thomas said...

and by "namely balls" I don't mean Dr. Kenneth Noisewater and James Westfall.

I'm talking a hairy bean bag.

Spaceman Spiff said...

this is what youve all really been wanting

Eli Karaoke Pictures

Spaceman Spiff said...

durant singlehandedly covered the spread last night. he needs to bulk up for the nba

temwr said...

While driving through PA monday the stations were pissed because Whistle Nut went to AZ and they don't think that AZ satisfied the Rooney rule.

And the Stillers are saying that they have to wait for the Bears to lose to interview Rivera to satisfy said Rooney Rule.

temwr said...

Which is BS because they interviewed some dude from MINN who is black.

Isiah Thomas said...

good call tem, they talked about bringing rivera in, Chow would be the "minority" they interviewed I guess

temwr said...

But they were still bitching about AZ.

Tomlin is the guy they interviewed.

temwr said...

Stillers interviewed Tomlin, not sure if AZ did or not.

El Padrino said...

what if they are no minorities to interview though?

do they just call in some minority off the street or do they call Al Sharpton?

i hate the fact that the giants named a new GM yesterday and all i get to read about it is that he is the third black GM in the world.
and that this is groundbreaking

i dont give a fuck if he was purple, as long as he is not arab and as long as he makes smart football moves me and him will get along

El Padrino said...

also if bears/colts super bowl
get ready for a two weeks of stephen a smith hollering about an all "black" coach super bowl

Isiah Thomas said...

re: All "black" coach superbowl.

I think in the race draft the whites would take Tony Dungy with a 4th round pick.

temwr said...

If there are no minorities to interview you have to interview someone anyway.

If Belichick quit the Pats and said he wanted to be the Giants next coach the Giants would have to fire Coughlin, interview a minority and then hire Belichick.

temwr said...

I heard the SAS show got cancelled. Did I hear that here?

temwr said...

Why does the media think I give a fuck that Brad and Angelina moved to New Orleans?? How often are they at "home" anyway? They can't be there but 20 days a year.

Spaceman Spiff said...

cant even imagine the scoop jackson article that would bring

Spaceman Spiff said...

yea tem you heard that here

The Rev said...

Don't most teams have one guy on their coaching staff that is a minority by now?

When in doubt, call in your tight ends coach who happens to be half Polynesian and give him an "interview". You're covered.

Isiah Thomas said...

over/under on when they break up? You've got to think Pitt will be fed up with Angie trying to save the world.

I'll put the over under at the end of this year.

temwr said...

haha, fuck SAS and his shitty show.

The Rev said...

I'm surprsied Pitt has hung on this long.

temwr said...

How are the folks in Minnesota Golden Gopher land liking their new head coach who seemingly has never coached anything buy tight ends??

temwr said...

Pitt and Spears will be linked before the end of the year.

The Rev said...

This could be quality TV... or maybe not

The Rev said...

Temwr just put out the Kodiac bat signal

Isiah Thomas said...

I'm extremely disappointed in Britney. I thought she'd be able to rebound from the 2 baby, Fed Ex disaster but I don't think she will.

She's still a fatty with no signs of recovering.

I think once that trailer park gene kicks in its irreversable.

The Rev said...

Problem is, Britney can't stop partying. If you're doing nothing but drinking yourself silly in nightclubs all the time, you're not going to drop that weight.

While it definitely has it's positives in the acting like a slut capacity, doing that will keep your body in the trailer park level.

El Padrino said...

i'd still do her

Isiah Thomas said...

tem just turned on a pink and/or rainbow light signal?

The Rev said...

Talk about Minnesota football, and Kodiac will respond eventually.

temwr said...

I'd still do her too.

Isiah Thomas said...

No doubt I'd throw it in her butt. I'm not sure I'd rock her as my girl as proudly as I once would have.

El Padrino said...

noted
me neither
she'd be my trailer park sidepiece

i actually had one of those once
back in florida, i used to bang this chick in a trailer park
the air conditioner vents were on the floor, that always amazed me

she would say, pull into my driveway, i was like what driveway
she was like "just pull up to the side of the trailer"

ok baby, ok

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Where's GR?

Isiah Thomas said...

I think kod says he either doesn't have access or time during the day to jump on. He's a nocturnal LOV member.

ToddPacker said...

ep

"air conditioner vents"...you had yourself a high class trailerpark girl

ToddPacker said...

"Where's GR?"

that's funny

Isiah Thomas said...

a trailer park dime piece. nice.

El Padrino said...

well tp they were just vents

when i asked of them that's what she said, i never felt cold air coming out of them

temwr said...

Brutus: I can't believe they are all leaving me. I don't think I will be able to go on living.

Timmy: They can't stay around for ever man. They need to move on. YOU need to move on.

Brutus: I don't think I can, they just left such a huge hole that needs to be filled.

Timmy: There will be new guys coming soon to fill that hole. New faces, new blood, before you know it, spring ball will be here and that hole will be filled again.

Brutus: I guess you're right Timmy. You always know what to say.

Timmy: I'll always be there for you buddy....always...

Isiah Thomas said...

another edition of Brutus and Timmmy!

Isiah Thomas said...

I think all editions should end with "don't stop now Timmy"

ToddPacker said...

were there previous editions of brutus and timmy that i missed...i need to read more B&T

ToddPacker said...

early lunch meeting....hope the food is good

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Dammit, I couldn't get my timely Britney comment to go through. I had a gem.

Isiah Thomas said...

this was the first edition of Timmy and Brutus:

Timmy: Brutus its OK to feel this way, its only natural.

Brutus: I don't think I can face my parents after this.

Timmy: You parent's will love you even though you blew it.

Brutus: It just won't be the same anymore.

Timmy: Maybe that's for the best...maybe its for the best...

Martin VanNostrand said...

"Texas... the place where free agents go to die"

this is gold Rev

The Rev said...

I missed the first edition of Timmy and Brutus. How did I miss that?

But this has hooked me in. I can't wait for new ones.

The Rev said...

Texas... I mean, they have Eric Gagne on their roster. He's just waiting to die.

The Rev said...

At least Texas gave my man Robinson Tejeda a home.

I may be the only Robinson Tejeda fan on the planet.

Isiah Thomas said...

MUTOMBO

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Sometimes Mutombo lets Isiah block shots.

temwr said...

Lunch was tasty today. BW2s

Brutus and Timmy had 2 issues to date. They are based on Zeke's gay picture of timmy and brutus.

temwr said...

I will definitely be working don't stop now timmy into the next one.

temwr said...

Is Robinson Tejada related to the good Tejada?

Isiah Thomas said...

apparently James Lofton is the leading candidate to take over the Raiders. Low level wth.

The Rev said...

No he isn't.

Robinson Tejeda is not related to Miguel Tejada. You will notice the last names are spelled differently.

The only reason I am a fan is because I went out drinking one night with him when he was a Phillie. We have a mutual friend, and we all hung out one night.

temwr said...

Federline will star in a Nationwide "life comes at you fast" commercial. ...

The Rev said...

James Lofton?

He knows how to coach? I had no idea.

temwr said...

James Lofton as Raiders coach...indeed low level wth.

That commercial with fed is a superbowl commercial.

Isiah Thomas said...

I was checking the niba standings.

how is LA only 4.5 out of 1st? They're 5 back in the loss column and 4 back in the win column and have played 1 more game.

Shouldn't they be 5.5 back?

Isiah Thomas said...

This might get interesting.

El Padrino said...

lofton and sarkisian are both wth's

i like fassel for the Raider job
or Martz

Martz running the O (draft a QB or sign one)
Ryan running the D

Raiders will be back

Isiah Thomas said...

re: suns / la

are they factoring in the head-to-head tie breaker? must be.

temwr said...

Stupid computer question, how do you do the screen shot thing again?

El Padrino said...

yeah zeke
stay tuned
it's been fun joumanna

see ya later

Isiah Thomas said...

Tem - new simmons is up.

judging by the blurb - he can fuck himself if he tries to slurp the suns now.

Isiah Thomas said...

hit print screen (upper right of most keyboards) or alt + print screen or ctrl+print screen

The Rev said...

4 back in wins and 5 back in losses = 4.5 back, no matter how many games they play.

The Rev said...

Joumana Kidd = Yoko Ono

Sitting in on Nets marketing meetings... WTF?

temwr said...

ok going to read simmons now.

JFreak said...

It's cold now.

temwr said...

yeah clearly a slurp on the Suns cocks column.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

She's hot but what the fuck kinda name is Joumana?

Martin VanNostrand said...

Elway was on Mike & Mike this morning pimping the arena league. After his segment was up the Mikes mentioned the Colorado Crush are holding open tryouts sometime in the next few weeks. Someone alert Vince Papale.

The Rev said...

I think Vince could still hit someone.

Isiah Thomas said...

had to read the SG article.....

he just planted a tongue kiss of death on the Suns.

Isiah Thomas said...

(Joumana's Mom and Dad in hospital shortly after her birth)

Joumana's Dad : "she's looks mo like yo mamma than mine"

Joumana's Mom : "fo sho, dat's it, we name her jo-mamma"

Joumana's Dad : "bitch you crazy, let's just call her joumana"

Joumana's Mom : "aight den" *takes another swig of 40 oz*

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

lol @ Zeke

Isiah Thomas said...

re: 4.5 back - that doesn't make sense though.

5 back in losses = 5 back right?

San Antone is in similar situation with Dallas and is 4.5 back (5 in wins;4 in losses)

Spaceman Spiff said...

A reader e-mailed SP:

"I was screaming at the TV announcers when Peyton threw his second interception because they never mentioned that the net result was probably better than a punt."

yea, peyton is such a great qb that he thinks about when to throw picks instead of punting

Spaceman Spiff said...

Jason kidd paid for these titties

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

yea he did, they don't even come close to looking real

Isiah Thomas said...

those are the kind of fake titties that I don't like.

temwr said...

temwr running diary of SG article:

12:57 - Topic, Suns, no mag article tag, good start

12:58 - SG says Celts suck but should get Oden or Durant. Proceeds to pretend he is the 1st on the Durant bandwagon. Sorry SG that ship set sail weeks ago.

12:59 - Hmm, Suns cocks are nice

12:59 - SG says nobody is talking about the Suns. He must not read the same shit I read. I am well aware of the Suns.

1:00 - Suns are awesome and that is rare now. No dominant teams/people except Federer and Tiger. File this under worthless SG rambling

1:01 - SG brings up his dismissing of the Suns early in the season, says he was wrong...umm no shit. Zeke called this 100% back then.

1:01 - Stoudemire-Marion have an issue. Marion feels underappreciated, Stoudemire has a big ego. SG seems to be saying this just so he has an excuse if the Suns tank.

1:02 - SG blows the Suns 1 by 1. Says Amare is 87 back. Of course when I read that I thought he said 87 percent black. I like my way better, it is more entertaining

1:03 - Vagina. Every good diary needs vagina. So I am putting this here.

1:03 - SG makes case for Nash's 3rd MVP in a row. If you want to know what it is just recall what the case was the last 2 years, it is the same.

1:04 - Amazingly far away from a SG exacta, but have had a friend reference and a karate kid reference. Of course I think it was karate kid 3.

1:05 - SG says Nash's haircut symbolizes the change between old Suns and new Suns (chip on shoulder), maybe the gayest thing the SG has ever said

1:07 - More sucking of Durants cock

1:07 - Can't compare old players to new ones, different eras, but Suns are still one of the greatest ever. (summarizes about 500 words)

1:09 - SG wants the Suns to make a power move to get another good player...1,000 words about why they are awesome and then says make a trade....SG=a girl. So I guess, SH=a lesbian.

1:10 - Column ended with the trade for Rashard Lewis stuff...

Isiah Thomas said...

I hope he has a better prenup then Strahan.

Isiah Thomas said...

SG can eat a dick for the Suns article.

The Rev said...

Zeke...

no matter what, if you're 5 back in one column, but 4 back in the other, it always works out to 4.5 back no matter what side the numbers are on.

However, you do make one point. Being 5 back in the loss column is worse than being 5 back in the win column. If you're 5 back in the loss column, you might as well be 5 full games back.

Isiah Thomas said...

great diary Tem.

I read the "Amare back" as "Amare black" the first time as well.

he's still off on some of his shit about the suns though.

The Rev said...

SG may have put a hex on them.

Expect Nash's knee to give out on him soon just because.

The Rev said...

Joumana is definitely using some flotation devices for sure.

temwr said...

That entire Joumana Kidd picture looks fake. Her abs and everything look fake.

Spaceman Spiff said...

SG really deepthroated the suns, he can feel em in his lower intestine

Spaceman Spiff said...

fakest part of that pic is kidd's smile, hes hurting inside, pussy

Martin VanNostrand said...

tem - how much do you charge to do diaries of corporate meetings? Not saying you would have to fly in but if I set it up like a conference call and you e-mail the rundown after it's over. This could save me alot of time.

temwr said...

I bet the Nets paid for those floatation devices.

ToddPacker said...

no offense to tem, your doing a great job with the SG running diary, but i have so little interest in what SG writes i find it hard to even read tem's running diary...can we get someone to do a running diary of tem's running diary of the SG articles.

Spaceman Spiff said...

if the pats win the super bowl doug flutie might kill himself for not going one more year, vinny testaverde has his place this year as the super bowl piggybacker.

Spaceman Spiff said...

10:28 PST- SG loves the suns, his whole throat is encompassed with suns cock.

the end

El Padrino said...

so nash does the exact same thing he's been doing for two years but now he deserves the MVP according to SG

horrible article

if this were a start, he'd had give up 10 runs on 12 hits and only worked 2/3rds of an inning

ToddPacker said...

thanks spiff

Isiah Thomas said...

Spiff and EP with great comments.

Nash hasn't changed anything in his game for 2 years now SG is on the bandwagon?

Him and Hollinger can suck each other off for getting on the bandwagon.

Isiah Thomas said...

I have to think that in SG's warped mind he doesn't believe what he wrote and thinks that somehow this column will jinx Nash and the Suns.

Isiah Thomas said...

The Golden State Warriors have agreed to trade Troy Murphy, Mike Dunleavy, Ike Diogu and Keith McLeod to the Indiana Pacers for Al Harrington, Stephen Jackson, Sarunas Jasikevicius and Josh Powell, NBA front-office sources tell ESPN.com's Marc Stein.

The trade is scheduled to be announced later Wednesday.

ToddPacker said...

i think brutus & timmy need their own page over on the LOG...maybe they can join rev & los on the next podcast

JFreak said...

hurry up, someone tell me if this is a good deal for the Pacers.

Isiah Thomas said...

I second the Brutus/Timmy page idea. Well done TP.

Isiah Thomas said...

kind of puzzling as most people agree that Dunleavy and Murphy's contracts are awful and that Dunleavy can't play a lick.

Diogu is supposed to be legit but he's young.

Spaceman Spiff said...

2 vegas trips in the next 2 months, it dont get no better.

Isiah Thomas said...

I'm going to Vegas next week for a week. I've got a SG Suns like boner.

ToddPacker said...

i'm jealous, spiff

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

"brutus & timmy"


that's cool, i don't even know how they got started are anything about them. somebody send me all the episodes/conversation whatever, i'll stick them up.

Spaceman Spiff said...

good trade for pacers freak. jackson was only a shooter, no assists ever and a crazy. sarunas was disappointing and tinsley looks like he has regained form. al harrington, dont know why they signed him when they let him go in the first place, also was a ballhog that took shots away from jermaine.

troy murphy, um, did you like brad miller when he was there? if so, sweet, warriors dont need him anymore now that biedrins came from nowhere and can run, unlike murphy. dunleavy is not a ballhog, can shoot when kicked out to. diogu is good, will do the dirty work with rebounds, maybe like a better scoring dale davis

El Padrino said...

freak good trade
i love it

white players always do well in indiana, and now j'oneal can go back to being the alpha dog

Isiah Thomas said...

steve both episodes are in the comments on this post, scroll up and cut-n-past you lazy bastard.

don't pull a paulus and drop the ball here.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

so it's like that hu?


fine!! *scoffs*

Spaceman Spiff said...

isnt paulus gonna ride pine now, didnt scheyer have an amazing game in that last blowout.

Spaceman Spiff said...

Virginia tech is 3-0 in the ACC and has beaten north carolina, and florida state is 0-3 and got blown out by nc, how the fuck is va tech getting points, is this a trap EP

El Padrino said...

classic trap game
stay away

ToddPacker said...

FSU beat Florida earlier in the season...so they do have at least one quality win

temwr said...

What was the name of the Dudes bowling team in the Big Lebowski?

JFreak said...

This is music to my ears.

I might actually start paying attention to the Pacers again.

And the best part about it is that we finally got rid of Jackson.

Isiah Thomas said...

Mel Kiper: I think Walker probably felt like he'll have a freshman QB, losing a tackle, losing the top two WRs - we could lose five games next year.


Mel kiper dropping a "we" when referring to ND.

temwr said...

Kiper has Jimmy Johnson hair.

El Padrino said...

but does Kiper love the henie? is the question

Isiah Thomas said...

steve add the Brutus and Timmy pic to their section on LOG. It'll add so much.

temwr said...

So I take it that nobody knows:

the name of the Dudes bowling team in the Big Lebowski?


maybe they never showed it in the movie, i don't know.

temwr said...

Brutus and Timmy definitely need the pic, otherwise it doesn't make as much sense.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

what's the brutas and timmy pic? is that your pic?


I missed that whole conversation.

Isiah Thomas said...

never seen Big Lebowski.

yes my pic is Brutus and Timmy

JFreak said...

I think Kiper was talking as if he were Walker, not as if ND was his team.

Isiah Thomas said...

tem can I put in a request for "Brutus you just peed your pants" in a future episode?

temwr said...

i think that could be worked in.

Isiah Thomas said...

the adventures of brutus and timmy crack me up.

ToddPacker said...

The Big Lebowski is awesome...sorry tem, i can't think of the dudes bowling team name

El Padrino said...

Water logged

El Padrino said...

Nutjob

Isiah Thomas said...

I'm almost 100% positive that LOV is the center of the sports world.

Paying cfb players

See the part at the end about a trust.

Isiah Thomas said...

re: Nutjob.

dude is inviting death upon himself. Thinning the heard again.

The Rev said...

I could not have made this up if I tried...

the station responsible for the woman's death by drinking too much water is in Sacramento. She drank too much water, was not allowed to pee, then died later in a morning show contest.

The station is nicknamed...

E107.9... The End

My guess is they will change that name in about a week.

El Padrino said...

This would be awesome

Isiah Thomas said...

re: waterlogged

I saw something a while back on a tri-athlete who drank too much water and had a dibilitating stroke. Water is hard hitting.

El Padrino said...

good job rev, i linked it already
slopoke

The Rev said...

I was actually responding to your link.

I researched the station, and found their website.

Isiah Thomas said...

that movie is a fraud if ScoJo doesn't get nekked.

ToddPacker said...

maybe we could replace the brutus head with a wolverine head and make timmy a trojan and call it the adventures of trojan man and "we're too disappointed to play, so we're just going to show up and the big ten is great because they won 2 bowl games against direct SEC competion" guy.....jk, zeke i felt the need to throw out some hate

The Rev said...

When a woman dies at a radio station nicknamed "The End", my guess is that they are going to hire new marketing and PR people... stat!

Isiah Thomas said...

tp - hate is good, never not bring it.

and if you want to make the pic go for it. or at least make it an original pic.

The Adventures of Timmy and Brutus (TAOT&B) is copyrighted.

El Padrino said...

"that movie is a fraud if ScoJo doesn't get nekked. "

for real

ToddPacker said...

i wouldn't think of ripping off TAOT&B. that's all you and tem

temwr said...

Many different picture with different team mascot heads would make for very interesting adventures.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

there, i got it hooked up now

Isiah Thomas said...

I thought of originally making Timmy's head a gator head but got lazy.

Isiah Thomas said...

excellent work steve

The Rev said...

Different team mascot heads...

Are you saying the Phillie Phanatic could make a cameo?

Spaceman Spiff said...

never ever go to the amazon, there is something there that likes urine, and if it smells it will go up your ass and attach itself inside you, causing unbearable pain where the only way to get rid of the thing is cutting off your penis.

temwr said...

wha wha wha??

Spaceman Spiff said...

lemme look it up

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

That's crazytalk.

El Padrino said...

spiff get on that

temwr said...

Why does something going up my ass make me have to cut off my penis?

temwr said...

I need to rephrase that question.

Spaceman Spiff said...

its the first thing the swimmer mentioned, the candiru, ok i might have went overboard, cutting off the dick is not the cure, you can drink some herbs or something and that might work, but some people choose to cut off their dick instead of dealing with the pain.

dont go to amazon

temwr said...

Why would something going up someone's ass make them have to cut off their penis?

Spaceman Spiff said...

it goes up ass, into urethra, spreads out spiny things to lodge itself in there, and youre fucked

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Penectomy is generally preferred to the misery and pain associated with leaving the fish in the urethra"

Isiah Thomas said...

I saw some shit on Ripley's once where this guy in south america was taking a piss in a stream and this fish swam up the piss stream and lodged itself in the guys wang wang. Once it gets in there it sticks out fins or something to stay in place. I think they got it out without chopping his livelyhood off.

Isiah Thomas said...

I added some anal bleedings and gator head to this one. the neck area needs some work. And osu is bolder.

El Padrino said...

that movie with stiffler and the rock -- they mentioned this
rosario dawson tells rock not to pee in the water cuz the parasite follows your urine right into your prick

horrible

The Rev said...

Alright... just cut this shit out!

No more talk about fins lodging in the wang wang. Jesus H Christ... I'm getting sick over here.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

Dear God:

"It then swims up the urethra and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood consumed.

Once inside it would eat away the mucous membranes and tissues until hemorrhage would kill it or the host. It was also said that even if one caught the fish by the tail, once in the urethra it could not be pulled out because it would spread itself like an umbrella. The Candiru can attack both men and women. Penectomy is generally preferred to the misery and pain associated with leaving the fish in the urethra."

El Padrino said...

jesus h christ

jesus huck christ?

The Rev said...

There's some weird ass animals in South America.

I won't be going there anytime soon.

El Padrino said...

just having fun with the holiest name on earth

great, going to hell

temwr said...

H stands for Holy

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Dodgers Audit

Dikembe Meiztombo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
El Padrino said...

um, i know tem

now if you can tell me what's the number for 911, I'll be on my way.

The Rev said...

I thought it stood for Harold.

Our father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name.

temwr said...

nope, you can not be trusted with such information.

temwr said...

Deal or No Deal would be an OK show if they gave the contestant 15 seconds tops to make their decision. I definitely do not need to see a lady running around asking her 11 year old sons what they think mommy should do for 10 minutes.

El Padrino said...

good point tem
i watched that show once, when it 1st came out, thought the same thing

whocares said...

I have to agree with the Sports Whore on the Deal or No Deal thing.

Just open the case bitch. Dont milk those seven seconds for you're own fame, dont try to fake us out with the sad face/ good outcome trick, dont talk to me. Just open. The Fucking. Case.

thejugwhite said...

There needs to be a sports team named after that fish. Hey Steve, any chance the change the name of the Hooks to the Corpus Christi Candiru?

JFreak said...

Yeah...this definitely rules out the Amazon as a vacation destination.

Isiah Thomas said...

low level wtf

El Padrino said...

the Jorge Cantu's Caintru's!

Spaceman Spiff said...

in that article i posted it says that people want to ban the fish from being imported here, as it is not banned right now

BAN THAT SHIT

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

lol, maybe jug, I'll make a call

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