Monday, December 31, 2007

The Lonely Bull

I seriously have nothing going today. Why do they call it taking a dump, when you're actually leaving it?(I stole that from Beavis & Butthead)

It's New Year's Eve. I'll be staying home most likely. Never done that before. I'm sure TP's been staying home on NYE since he was 40.

Another weekend of football gone, another small
fortune lost by EP. Get that pole warmed up, she's gonna need it.

I've lost a lot of interest in the NBA season already. Fantasy is the only thing that makes me care.

Oooh. For those of you embarking on The Great Lordz Of Vengeance Fantasy Golf Experiment, you need to get your selections in on Wednesday, I believe.

My insides hurt. Maybe its all in my head. I'm exhausted now.

I like Japanese girls.


Not much time till pitchers & catchers.

I'm quitting smoking. Squares go up 1.25 a pack on Jan 1st. No thanks.

Friday, December 28, 2007

It's 9:05 AM, do you know where Rev's bacon is?

What a college football season this has been. Anyone want to be a #2?
Didn't think so. Emergence of the Mangino's, Brian Kelley's squad made Nick Lachey happy, rich Rod spurns his alma mater, Michigan shits the bed in the first game of the year and Stanford, fucking Stanford were 40 point underdogs in Southern Cal and won....OUTRIGHT.

Nuts, and that wasn't all. The BCS bowls games below.
My overall record I will tally up and add to the post later. Crunched for time. EOY is hectic in this business.

Rose Bowl brought to you by Rose from the "Golden Girls"
So Cal -13.5 over Zookers
I mean come on. Zook can recruit. But not coach. USC's defense is fast enough to cover the Juice and his shenanigans. Something Ohio State couldn't do.

Sugar Bowl brought to you by the sweet nectar of vagina
Hawaii +7.5 over Dawgs
I mean cone on. Anytime you spot a potent offense a TD you know your a heavy favorite. I first expected this line to be around 3 or 4. But 7? That's crazy talk. Hawaii is sick and tired of hearing shit about their schedule. They will play the game of thier lives. Memories of Boise St. / Oklahoma of last year. Which ended up as the best college football game of the YEAR.

Fiesta Bowl brought to you by Corona
Oklahoma -7.5 over WVU
I mean cmon. How deflated is WVU after the Rich Rod deal? This has to play a part. Has to. That and the Sooners can D. I expect a Pat White injury and a blowout when it's all said and done. So sad.

Orange Bowl brought to you by Tang
Va Tech -3.5 over the Mangino's
I mean cmon. I understand Kansas had a great year but Va Tech's defense and speacial teams is light years ahead of Kansas's. This might get ugly. Maybe I'm disrespecting Kansas and I don't mean to, they had a phenominal year, but I think they are over thier head a bit.

Movie quote of the day (from my list, same list Tem picks from):
"From now on, nothing goes down unless I'm involved. No blackjack no dope deals, no nothing. A nickel bag gets sold in the park, I want in. You guys got fat while everybody starved on the street. Now it's my turn."

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

How's that for an original title? Next week I might use Happy New Year! Stay tuned to find out. That's right, stay tuned all week.

Let me say this now. Sorry for jinxing your $$$ league team Blue. Henry + Gates apparently was not better than SD Defense +3. Oops.

NASCAR half Sentence: Can you believe that the Daytona 500....

NHL update: Detroit still has the most points, so they must be the best team. Go Wings!

College Football Update: 5 Michigan State guys are sitting out. Sounds like 2 of them are good. Adjust your picks accordingly.

Unspeakable List Additions. Elizabeth Banks. If anyone has some nekkid shots of her, posting them would be a good Christmas gift. If I had some I would post them. Really I would.

So WVU's basketball team is ranked in the top 25 and doing pretty well. If they weren't doing well all hell would have broken lose in Morgantown. Sucky basketball team + football coach leaving = more burning couches than ever seen before. Speaking of WVU football I think I have come to the conclusion that RR is a douche, but so are the boosters and so is the AD. It kind of sucks to learn this, but really most rich people are douches so the boosters being douches doesn't shock me one bit. I have never met a non-professor in higher education that wasn't a borderline retard so the AD being a douche isn't shocking. The shocking part is RR being a douche. A homegrown Mountaineer, good story, turns out to be a douche. I guess that's what big time anything does to you. Forget your roots, fuck everyone else but yourself, that's the motto of people who have stuff. I guess there is a lesson in there.

Time for a tem movie review. Now for all you new folks reading this, this a movie review of a movie I have never seen. I am going with #66 on El Pad's of great movies. Falling Down.

Falling Down is a real life inspired story about the lady who invented the "I've fallen and can't get up" devices. It stars Betty White as that lady and she turns in one of the best performances of her career. Take her Golden Girls quality and triple it, at least. It is a tour de force for her. I am not sure whether or not she won any awards for it, but she should have. I was almost in tears when she fell the first time and didn't have the device. See, she has a douchebag son played by Fred Savage who really just wants her to die so he can inherit her coin collection. I am pretty sure that is a common real life scenario. Anyway, early in the movie Betty falls, but douchebag (douche and variations of it is the word of the day) son wouldn't help her. Finally a neighbor played by Don Knotts (who coincidentally is banging Betty, which is by far the worst sex scene in all of movie history) comes to the rescue. But Betty goes into a coma and Fred is happy. He tries to swim through the coins Scrooge McDuck style, but it really doesn't work. Then Betty comes out of the coma, invents the device and has sex with Don Knotts again.

4 helmet stickers out of 5. Would be 5 of 5 if there wasn't full frontal of B. White and D. Knotts.

There we have it, another D- post. If you read it, well sorry.

OK, I think it is safe to say that everyone at LOV wishes everyone out there who doesn't suck or isn't a douchebag a safe and happy holliday.

Merry Christmas bee snatches.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Crocodile on my feet, fox fur on my back, bow tie 'round my neck...

That's why they call me the gangsta mack in da Cadillac.

I'm not too sure where I should go to get the ball rolling. Expect a lot of fragments as opposed to complete sentences.
So far, I got a nice deep-fryer for christmas.

It looks like Blue has me in the Keeper Championship, although I'm not sure if it's over or not.

The Grim continues to dominate the FNBA league.

Beth's Bowl Pick 'Em lead was short lived.

I had my first taste of Guitar Hero tonight. I'm going to buy that shit, and destroy my cousin. I promised him that for his birthday. Problem is, I need to play the standard guitar controller cross-handed. So, if I actually get the guitar, I may have to hacksaw it apart and play with it as 2 completely separate pieces. I need to use my right hand on the "frets" and my left on the strumming/whammy side.

I'm not going to talk about College FB, as you all may or may not have assumed.

I'm not really prepared for this post, as I've been overwhelmed with work and still have to work on Monday.

I stated on the Sunday thread that I may or may not do a weekly Fantasy update. I'm leaning towards not.

I don't know how Tem and Iam put together nice-sized posts on a weekly basis. That may very well be related to attendance of college, since you need to BS your way through reports and papers and shit like that. I'll work on it, I swear.

As I look at this as I type it, I realize how terribly short it is. I guess I might put down random thoughts as the week goes on, and save them as a draft. Then again, maybe not. This is my little forum, and I'll do what I want with it. I'll do my best not to bore everybody with my local sports teams, since nobody else give too much of a shit about Milwaukee. But don't get it twisted, when pitchers and catchers report in fortysome days, there will be plenty of Brewers talk in this little space. Don't blame me, blame EP, TP, The Weasel, Rev, Blue, Tyler, and especially Freak. I guess you could throw Tem in there, even though I'm not convinced he really gives a shit about the Pirates.

That's all I've got for the moment. I'm sure it'll come easier as I grow more accustomed to the routine.

Hi, Bill.

Fuck off, Shamford. Burn, baby, burn.

R.I.P. MVN, EB, MOV, Champ

Keep it real, CEO WC.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Happy Sunday...

Someone has to post something right about now. For two reasons.

One... it's easier than having to reload a page over and over again with over 600 comments.

Two... when a major contributor decides to up and leave, someone ought to say something, Might as well be me.

Honestly, I wish Zeke hadn't pulled his name from the contributor list after the TCS was over. I will miss him being around if he really has decided to up and leave for good. And if he reads this, I'll say right here that I hope he decides to at least comment on a regular basis again. He added a lot to this blog, I think we will all agree.

But... at the same time, he made his decision. He pulled his name out of contributor status abruptly. He said goodbye. Once that happens, we have to make the decision to act.

Meiz... the invite is in your e-mail box. Feel free to accept and start posting on Monday. You have earned it for sure.

And everyone who is currently contributing now has admin status. Should have done that before, but better late than never. When Meiz accepts, he won't have it right away. But any one of the contributors can change him to admin status. If I don't get to it, one of you feel free to hook Meiz up. And if any changes need to be made, any one of you can handle it.

One of the strengths of LOV has been that if someone has to step away, someone else fills the vacuum very quickly. It happened when I went into semi-retirement. And it will happen here.

Because LOV was built on the strength of all of you combined. Not some self-absorbent former ESPN page 2 writer who wants the comments section to go the way he wants it to, first amendment be damned. Lord knows I've probably disagreed with 50-60% of what is said in these comments because I'm a flaming, do-gooder, bleeding-heart, tree-hugging, commie, left-winger, liberal pinko. But I will always defend your right to say what you say no matter how D- it is. And I will defend my right to call you an idiot, and for you to call me a jackass for saying it. It's what makes this blog great.

(And for the record, "self-absorbent former ESPN page 2 writer" applies to more than one person out there, just so that one of them doesn't think I'm talking all about him and get all giddy that we're paying attention to him alone.)

All of you are what makes this blog what it is. And without you, this place is just a dead space. So when one leaves, I know all of you will continue without him.

We may not be the biggest blog out there. We may never be. But when you have a group who comes back over and over again because they're enjoying what's going on, and when you have people who go away for a while but for whatever reason get drawn back to hang with us again, you've got something pretty good.

And I do have a feeling Zeke will be one of those guys who will be drawn back at some point. Just my hunch. But that is up to him.

Now that I've said what I need to say, I will now fall back on the founding principles of LOV, and say one last thing.

Zeke... you're such a bitch!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Bowl Cut Part Trois.

Umm whatever.

bowl cuts pt deux

Read my post you ungrateful bastards.

Bowl Cut

Remember the Bowl cuts? Take a bowl, place it over your head, shave around it. People or kids actually rocked that. Wow. Well this is not going to be anything like that. If you like college football this is what you need right now. A complete Bettors guide to this year's slate of Bowl games. Only on the best sports blog running.

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl brough to you feces
FAU -3 over Memphis - Memphis "D" is " ". Meaning not there, kind of like Irk Nowitzski. Get it? FAU and Memphis can score but FAU will get more stops. Bowl, brought to you by bad pizza
Cincy -11 over Southern Miss
Brian Kelly will be auditioning for another job with this blow out. Cincy had thier best year yet. Blowout alert.

New Mexico Bowl brought to you by Pemican Beef Jerky
Nevada +3 over New Mexico
Becasue the RB is out. Nothing more nothing less.

Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl brought to you by fake titties
BYU -6 over UCLA
BYU will exact revenge for a 22-17 loss to UCLA in week 2 of this season. BYU riding a 9 game win streak.

Hawaii Bowl brought to you by Spiff
Boise St. -11 over East Carolina
Bad draw for East Carolina. Take the over here too.

Motor City Bowl brought to you by murder
Central Michigan +9.5 over Purdue
I love the Chippewas in bowl games. I like typing and saying Chippewas. Chippewas stay competitive and might pull out a win. Purdue has a three bowl losing streak.

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl brought to you by Mack Brown's shortcomings
ASU +1.5 over Texas
Erickson > Mack Brown. Texas gives up some nice yards vs the pass. This game will be close but ASU will win the 4th quarter.

Champs Sports Bowl brought to you by 5 for $20 crappy t-shirts
BC -3.5 over Michigan State
PFP I think BC is just a better team. They tackle well, fly to the ball and Calender is a veteran. Matt Ryan whilst not a Heisman level QB, will be showing that arm off for the Pro Scouts too.

Texas Bowl brought to you by fat people
TCU -4 over Houston
Disappointing year for the Horned Frogs. I think they will take it out on this coachless Houston team. Although the RB for Houston is a sleeper stud. Irregardless TCU will win.

Emerald Bowl brought to you by the great and powerful Oz
Oregon St. -5.5 over Maryland
Going out to the west coast really favors the Beavers here. Maryland beat two top ten teams this year but had 6 losses. Which team will show?

Meineke Car Care Bowl brought to you by grease monkey's
Wake -3 over Uconn
I know UCONN had a strong, impressive year. But I have to take Riley Skinner to step up and make that one play that wins his team the game. Take the under in this one. Both defenses are solid.

Autozone Liberty Bowl brought to you by the Tem's Elantra
Miss St. +3.5 over UCF
Croom should be SEC coach of the year and it shows during this game in which he bottles up the nations leading rusher (Kevin Smith) and a very good C-USA offense.

Valero Alamo Bowl brought to you by high gas prices
Penn State -6 over Texas A&M
Maybe Joe Pa will call a play in this one. Who knows. The Nittany Lions are a far more superior team here.

Petrosun Independence Bowl brought to you by Nick Saban's shennanigans
Bama -4 over Colorado
I can't trust the Buffs here. Saban that sumbitch underacheived the last part of the season but he still can coach a football team. And scheming for over a month gives his Crimson Tide a good shot.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl brought to you by Osama Bin Laden
Air Force +4 over Cal
Cal started 5-0. They are 6-6. Dejection has set in.

Roady's Humanitarian Bowl brought to you by Sally Struthers
Fresno +6.5 over Ga Tech
When in doubt take the points. That and Fresno has played on the blue turf before. Has to help a little bit.

Sun Bowl brought to you by the Sun (duh)
South Florida -7 over Oregon
The Bulls are going to eat Leaf alive. Poor Oregon, Dixon going down was the absolute worst case scenario.

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl brought to you by Gaylord Focker
Kentucky (off the board) over FSU
No line yet. Opened at 1.5 before FSU got suspended for cheating on thier current events.

Insight Bowl brought to you by Cliff Notes
Indiana +5 over Ok State
The Hoosiers will continue there great year with this bowl win. Haven't been to a bowl in 14 years. Ok State gives up a ton of points. Take the over.

Chik-Fil-A Bowl brought to you by the Waffle Fry
Auburn +3 over Clemson
Shocked at the line. Think Auburn is better, that defense woofs and creates havoc. Cox doesn't turn the ball over and can make any throw on the field.

Outback Bowl brought to you by a 22oz Porterhouse Steak
Sconsin +3 over Tennessee
Vols never really blew up on anyone and those sconnies, if you let them hang around they'll bite you in the ass. Tyler Donovan is a tough kid too. I like the Badgers.

AT&T Cotton Bowl brought to you by Q-Tips
Missouri -3.5 over Arkansas
Misery will throttle the razorbacks. 3td win for sure. They have to prove to the nation this was no fluke year. Chase Daniels will shine. McFadden will get his but it wont be enough.

Capital One Bowl brough to you by What's In Your Wallet
Michigan +10.5 over Florida
I understand Florida is a better team but you best believe that these players will play their hearts out for Carr. They really love the guy and Florida's defense was not good this year. Hart, Manningham will be all over the place. Maybe even Rich Rod will throw a play or two in there, who knows?

Konica Gator Bowl brought to you by Steve Irwin
Virginia +6 over Texas Tech
Can Al Groh stop one of the most prolific passing game in the cuntry? Chris Long will be in Harrell's face all day. At least Groh can sleep on the run.

International Bowl brought to you by immigrants
Rutgers -10 over Ball St.
Scarlett Knights had a bad year as far as the expectations were. But coach Schiano can motivate a retard so I expect them to be jacked up for this. Ray Rice is a poor man's Mike Hart. He'll have a huge game.

GMAC Bowl brought to you by no one gives a shit
Tulsa -5 over Bowling Green
Just take the over. Both teams score at will. Paul Smith can wing it.

BCS Bowls will be capped next Friday.

As far as the Pros go I like:
Dallas to get back on track and roll on Carolina. They are minus 11.
The Packers finish off the Bears, they are -9.
New Orleans -3 over Philly who shot thier defensive load last week.
New England should cover the 22 over Miami.

That is all.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

TCS edition 4

This post is to quell zeke's bitching.

TCS opening day: Edition 3

Update, around 5:25 EST:

zeke 303, iam 448
tp 486, jug 465
ep 310, mills 232
tem 203, kod 27
deke 75, tyler 42
keef 158, cummy 235
freak 291, spiff 225
blue 226, beth 101

TCS now (4:50 EST):

zeke 301, iam 394
tp 448, jug 465
ep 224, mills 198
tem 182, kod 11
deke 70, tyler 42
keef 156, cummy 199
freak 280, spiff 163
blue 218, beth 101

TCS update tem version, 4 EST:

zeke 298, iam 347
tp 360, jug 465
ep 143, mills 198
tem 149, kod 0
deke 61, tyler 35
keef 145, cummy 158
freak 249, spiff 150
blue 198, beth 101

The MADNESS, continued

TCS update tem version, 4 EST:

zeke 298, iam 347
tp 360, jug 465
ep 143, mills 198
tem 149, kod 0
deke 61, tyler 35
keef 145, cummy 158
freak 249, spiff 150
blue 198, beth 101

TCS Scoreboard as of 3EST

zeke 297 Iam 308
Blue 160 Beth 101
Keith 108 cumfast 159
tem 139 Kod 0
EP 109 weazy 193
deke 51 Tyler 35
freak 217 spiff 142
TP 356 Jug 384

20 at 20 spreads:

zeke +18
tp -76
ep -44
tem +117
deke +24
keef -3
freak +56
blue +26

AFTER "1st QTR" which is in no way actually 1QTR because that is more like 5pm today, but WGAF. As of 1:55 EST


zeke 220
iam 222

tp 237
jug 294

ep 102
mills 124

tem 99
kod 0

deke 40
tyler 4

keef 109
cummy 112

freak 172
spiff 143

blue 125
beth 99

This is far much more MADNESS then what should be allowable by law.

Okay, let's recap the first round matchups and the EP set lines.

1 Zeke (-41) vs 16 IAM
8 TP (+7) vs 9 Jug
5 EP (-55) vs 12 Weasel
4 Tem (-67) vs 13 Kod
6 Deke (-11) vs 11 Tyler
3 Keith (-81) vs 14 Crummy
7 Freak (off) vs 10 Spiff
2 Blue (-124) vs 15 Beth

Zeke says he's busy the next few days, but his dominance over the year is apparent, you have to go with him.

I think you have to take Jug at -7. TP has just been eaten whole by the TPS monster.

Take EP, Tem, Keith and Blue to cover easy. Frankly folks, their opposition is not up to snuff. Even as hu-uge favorites, they will get it done.

The TDiLoVH has been missing because Tyler has been working a lot. I don't expect this to change. You're gonna see more "I've got nothing" comments from Deke than usual, but picking Deke to cover is an easy call.

Spiff is ninja-like with his links, but I'm not sure he can match Freak's LoVAD prowess. It could be interesting, going into Friday night, as both are prone to late nights. This could come down to the wire, but go ahead and take Freak.

Let the MADNESS begin!!!

Honestly, I am so excited for the TCS competition. This is like the opening weekend of March Madness. Routinely the best sports weekend of the year.

Bowl game today! Utah vs. Navy. I'm taking Navy at +8.5. I'd pick 'em straight up. I know, I know, they lost their coach, but Utah has lost every game they've given up more than 135 yards rushing. And with that triple option Navy is guaranteed to get at least 275+ on the ground (they average 351).

There are only 10 people in the Bowl pick 'em? What's up with that?
Group #: 3033
password: tits
Join, you hoes. I'm looking at you EP, Kod, Tyler, Rev, Jug.

Okay, let's recap the first round matchups and the EP set lines.

1 Zeke (-41) vs 16 IAM
8 TP (+7) vs 9 Jug
5 EP (-55) vs 12 Weasel
4 Tem (-67) vs 13 Kod
6 Deke (-11) vs 11 Tyler
3 Keith (-81) vs 14 Crummy
7 Freak (off) vs 10 Spiff
2 Blue (-124) vs 15 Beth

Zeke says he's busy the next few days, but his dominance over the year is apparent, you have to go with him.

I think you have to take Jug at -7. TP has just been eaten whole by the TPS monster.

Take EP, Tem, Keith and Blue to cover easy. Frankly folks, their opposition is not up to snuff. Even as hu-uge favorites, they will get it done.

The TDiLoVH has been missing because Tyler has been working a lot. I don't expect this to change. You're gonna see more "I've got nothing" comments from Deke than usual, but picking Deke to cover is an easy call.

Spiff is ninja-like with his links, but I'm not sure he can match Freak's LoVAD prowess. It could be interesting, going into Friday night, as both are prone to late nights. This could come down to the wire, but go ahead and take Freak.

I'm spent from all this writing.

Let the MADNESS begin!!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I had a really quirky title... 2 days ago

And I forgot it.

Pistons and C's tonight. Tune in mofo's. Best shit in the East in on display 2-niz-ight. I may or may not watch. I might be doing some other shit (ns). I'll try to make "other shit" include swinging by a pub with sports entertainment on broadcast television, but we will have to see.

Clemens is talking mess about how he didn't take it the seat cheek. Roger, you're what.. 45? You've been humming along these last few years like you're 18. Plus, you're the pitching equivalent of Barry. We don't need you to treat us like we're complete idiots. We can tell. We get it. Notice that we still paid really good ass money to pack out stadiums to see you guys though? Stop with the BS. We like our atheletes to be crazy physical specimens no matter how they get there. We like our drugs, we like our sports. You're telling me that if American Gladiators comes on ESPN Classic, you're not watching it for at least one episode? I rest my case. F*ck it. Everybody should just be allowed to cheat. You know like half the guys in the leagues are on shit anyway, who are we fooling? They're just on the crap that isn't tested for or is ahead of the curve and is undetectable. And the only reason these rules are in place is so the commissioners can feign shock and disbelief and play dumb that anyone would use enhancement substances and they won't be culpable. Although nowadays, it's on the books for media purposes and for legal purposes. "Media purposes" meaning that they don't want to have their name branded in the history books of our sports. Take the money, don't take the blame. Stay away from infamy. I guess I can respect that. Hell, it's the American Way! Of course we all know it's all for show. I hate show. I hate the dance, I hate the fake politician-smiles that come with it, I hate watching affaleets DENOUNCE THESE ACCUSATIONS!!... and then 6 months later come back and say "ok ya know what, I was scurred.. I lied, I so sorry...". Everybody in this world realizes that hard work gets you absolute shit and it doesn't really pay off. There is no way some human being is gonna be able to outrun a cheetah or a zorse by just hitting some weights and ordering one of those "training parachutes" from Eastbay. Maybe get some hot cross-trainers or something.. then that'll help it though. But we like it that way. And we repeatedly tell you this by using our cash mooooooney.

In a sidenote to this.. there was an article in the local paper that the Red Wings are finally supposed to be dropping ticket prices for playoff games. They used to jack em up like 4 times the amount of regular season games. The only reason they're changing.. cause ain't no ma'fuggers showin' up! Last year you could get tickets at the door. Walk up... buy playoff tickets for the number one seed? Shit, you better change something. Point being, until people show a change wif their wallets.. ain't jack shizzle gonna change.

This was 2 totally unrelated issues, but I tied them together with a little Christmas bow for ya.

I'm sure there's other shit to mention, but I'm not gonna do it since it's late now. Sorry, I saw Roger Clemens' stupid fat face on the WWL and I couldn't help myself. I'd like to stomp on his fat little neck. I am just beyond fed up with people lying about shit and putting up these fake ass fronts. Shit just doesn't add up mayyyyyne. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and paddles around in your pond like a duck... fuckin' shoot it and eat it, cause it's a duck and that's what it deserves. Survival of the fittest, bitch!

Hope you all have a mary xmas and happi new yeer. Yer all so speciul in my hart!!!211!!11!!!!!(

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Viper Style

RR is gone. He was a good coach so I am sad to see him go. I'm not even upset that he took the Michigan job. He gets more money and more prestige, so I can't say I blame him. The worst part is that this is going to leave WVU in shambles next year. If you want to see how much this will affect the program take a gander at this story, a JC transfer guy from Kansas was driving to WVU on his way to enroll for the spring semester. He heard the news and turned around. Literally.

But that is enough about RR, it is Christmas time so I am already depressed enough. Part of me loves Christmas time, people seem to be nicer, you get gifts and radio stations play Christmas songs. The other part of me hates it. I have to go shopping, I have to buy gifts, which isn't bad, but who do I buy for? what do I get them? Dilemmas like this annoy the hell out of me. I also hate people axing me what I want for Christmas. Hell if I know what I want, just get me something that is cool. Also the part I hate the most is that the secretary is out so I have to go up front when the bell rings and help people. Although just now it happened and it was a hot chick who rang the bell. She did not axe for the kind of help I wanted to give.

In NHL news, Detroit still has the most points so they must be the best team.

In my fantasy football league the guy who was just destroying everyone during the regular season and talking tons of trash lost in the playoffs. Karma is a bitch.

In NFL news, Tampa Bay finally returned a kickoff for a TD. Next time someone axes me what I want for Christmas I am saying a Spurlock (dude who returned the kick) jersey. That'll go well with my Gradowski jersey. I think my goal is to have 10 jerseys of players nobody has heard of. That is a retarded goal.

In fantasy NBA news, The Poon Express tied the top team in the league last week. This week they play the second best team. I haven't looked to see how they are doing. I suspect since it is only 1 day into the week that they are either getting their asses handed to them or they are dishing out an ass whipping.

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE DESK OF TEM: I never knowingly used HGH. Although in hike school I once ate horse feed which may or may not have had steroids of some kind in them.

Today's addition to the unspeakable list: Angie Harmon. Welcome aboard. If this pisses your husband off, that is OK. I think I might be able to out run him now. Nice knees Jason.

Consider this another week that I don't want to review any movies.

Final piece of info. Dickie V is out with a throat.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Once upon a time in the black part of the city....

I was going to have a long post about RR coming to UM, but after writing a few paragraphs I realized that noone GAF about what I think about it. So rather than waste my time (and yours) I'll give you the short version:

It's good, I'm excited. Now UM fans have a fresh start, and some hope. I find it ironic that UM couldn't hire the guy who said UM was his "dream job", yet was able to hire someone who was probably at his dream job. Good luck RR. (Sucks to be you WVU fans, sorry Tem)

Biggest dickhead move of the weekend. Dood just doesn't get it. Stop tugging on Superman's cape dawg.

My fantasy footyball season is over. Ousted from all of my money league playoffs in the semi's. Ehh. I wasn't feeling FF this season. This is probably loser talk but FFBL is basically all about luck, even if you are diligent with off-season prep-work, it still comes down to luck. But its still fun. It's still real to me.

LOV Fantasy updates:

CFB Pick 'Em:
Group ID# 3033
PW: tits

L.O.V. Country Club
ID: 2904
PW: lovgolf

It's time for the LOV Rap Lyric du Jour:

Many times i got drove by niggas in front of hoes
You know how it be dogg you aint been ballin all your life
You was round dat bitch still dirty stealin bikes
Buildin escape mobile all fixin the grilled cheese
In the store breakin snaps crown derby a key

Name that arist.

Today's LOVRLdJ was brought to you by.......Fanta Grape Soda

Thanks to all that participated. If you have the correct answer please go to to claim your fabulous prize.

*bonus points for naming the song/artist of the title

Friday, December 14, 2007

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Guide

Shoulda grabbed a copy of the Daily News this morning. Front pic is Clemens and Petitte with a simple headline : Cheaters. Love it.

Fuck you Clemens. You never failed a test. No shit. There was no testing when you did steroids. Your a liar, your a whore. Kill yourself. Nice example you set for your boys. Dirtbag.
Barry never failed a test either. Take that for what it is.

If Knobluach couldn't throw the ball from 2nd to first what was steroids going to do?
I think 6 or 7 of the 2000 Yankees are on that list. Mets are the real champs.

Raiders start Jamarcus Russell already wtf?
Kobe is happy. I'm happy your happy Kobe.
If Miami beats Baltimore does Billick get an extension?

Picks - Overall 60-61-2
Lot's of big road favorites this week.

Philly +10 over DALLAS ($100)

NFC East = SEC
Remember when I said I always like to take the points in a SEC vs SEC game? Same rule applies here. I would even go as far as taking the Skins over the Giants but Todd Collins? Stop it, you know I don't speak Spanish.

Packers -9 over St. LOO ($250)

Packers giving 9? In a dome? I'd give 14 in this game. Packers have a running game and a defense. Two things that are essential to winning on the road. Espeacially against a bad team. Stay with me on this one, it will be close til about the 3 minute mark in the 3rd quarter.

SAINTS -4 over Cards ($200)

Saints are marching for that 2nd playoff spot and Brees is playing lights out right now. He throws for about 350 this week.

Tease the Pats, Colts and Packers ($250). I mean it doesn't get any easier ok? I'm literally handing you money on this one.

Jessica Simpsons flapjacks are in Tony Romo's face right now.

Must be nice.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Mitchell Report Steroid Players

Mitchell Report comes out today. I'll have ROUND THE CLOCK analysis after it drops. Like it's hot.

Early reports are saying that Roger Clemens has been named by his trainer. Stay tuned for more info.

The *OFFICIAL* list of players:

Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Gregg Zaun, Rondell White, Chuck Knoblauch, Matt Franco, Hal Morris, Mark Carreon, Todd Hundley, Josias Manzanillo, Tim Laker, Jack Cust, Brian Roberts, Larry Bigbie, David Segui, Lenny Dykstra, Jason Grimsley, David Justice, F.P. Santangelo, Glenallen Hill, Mo Vaughn, Ron Villone, Denny Neagle, Chris Donnels, Ryan Franklin, Todd Williams, Phil Hiatt, Todd Pratt, Kevin Young, Cody McKay, Michael Lansing, Kent Merker, Adam Piatt, Miguel Tejada, Jason Christiansen, Mike Stanton, Stephen Randolph, Jerry Hairston, Jr., Paul Lo Duca, Adam Riggs, Bart Miadich, Fernando Vina, Kevin Brown, Eric Gagne, Mike Bell, Matt Herges, Gary Bennett, Jr., Jim Parque, Brendan Donnelly, Chad Allen, Jeff Williams, Howie Clark, Nook Logan. Troy Glaus, Gary Matthews Jr., Rick Ankiel, Jay Gibbons, Wally Joyner, John Rocker, Paul Byrd, Randy Velarde, Marvin Benard, Barry Bonds, Bobby Estalella, Jason Giambi, Jeremy Giambi, Benito Santiago, Gary Sheffield.

Those are players that have their own section. Meaning that Mitchell had good evidence against them. That's just what I saw scrolling through the middle section of the report.

I keep hearing about how the Mitchell report isn't viable because most of the information is based on hearsay. One example given was Larry Bigbie recalling a conversation he had with Brian Roberts where Roberts admitting to trying steroids a couple of times. To my knowledge, when you are a participant in a conversation, you can recall what was said and it is considering worthy evidence. I'm unsure as to how this makes it hearsay.

The quasi-sports item of the day. Top 20 Athlete Wives of 2007 Can't go wrong with any of them, but I liked Danielle Lloyd.

The Office and mini-golf. A winning combination. Let's see if zeke can go poop hands on another golf game.

If you're bored in the office, and don't want to crumble your own paper to play trash can bball, go here

Crazier than the filipino prisoners.

Fukudome to you, too.

Hi Bill!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

You're gonna die, clown!

My one and only thing to say today is this:

The WWL talks about this guy "Vick". Apparently, he is very elusive, as they cannot get a real picture of him. So they have resorted to showing us a drawing of what he looks like. Great idea. That is so cool.

The decision was then made to repeatedly pan and zoom in dramatically on this drawing as if it was live courtroom footage. We are viewing a drawing. Pan family to Vick... Judge to Vick... Vick's handcuffed hands up to his face... lawyers over to Vick... pan crowd to Vick.... zoom into Vick's little sketched eyes to see what he is thinking, really get that emotion(!)...

Watching this makes me want to beat someone unmercifully. I want to really, really, really harm whoever made this decision to continually show a sketch and do dramatic pans.

Please die.


Someone who had to turn off SC because it was unbearable to watch.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


"random hot chick" from google (with safe search) kinda nsfw in a sfw kinda way

Rachel Nichols....just because

and to bring it back to sports:

Monday, December 10, 2007

so flex....girl....time to have sex........

Skins/G-Men flexed - niiice.

wanted to c-n-p this from yesterday's comments:

I've got mixed feelings on Tebow winning.

1) His team wasn't "good" as far as a title contender goes. His team lost what, 3 games? Without him they lose say 6? So with or without him the team ain't winning anything of significance.

2) He is a system QB (so is Brennan though). But he did run that system flawlessly. But still the majority of his rushing TD's were inside the 5 yd line.

"Look at Gino Torretta," said Tuberville, referring to the 1992 Heisman-winning quarterback from Miami. Tuberville coached the linebackers on that team. "He was the product of a system he ran for five years. He learned how to run it. Tebow was the old single wing quarterback. He just ran the ball and threw it. You can score 20 [rushing] touchdowns if, every time you get the ball inside the five, they call your number."

3) Taking 1 and 2 into account his numbers don't really impress me for a Heisman contender.

With all that said I don't think there was a better clear cut choice so he kinda wins by default. It depends on what your definition of Heisman it the MVP? Best player on the best team? Best player outright? I don't think Tebow is the answer to any of these questions.

I think McFadden was the best overall but he has the same holes in his resume as Tebow does. If I had a vote, I'd have Brennan winning. He was the MVP of his team, one of the top players in the country and put up gaudy stats. With him, his team had a school best season and went undefeated. Without him they wouldn't have. Seems simple to me. The only monkey wrench to this line of thinking is HI's schedule or lack of SOS.

As for Tebow, I think he'll end up being one of those Rashan Saalam/Weurffel/White/Crouch type winners were, 5-10 years later, you have this convo:

"Who won the Heisman that season? ummmm? McFadden? nah....Tebow? nah it was....wait it was Tebow, yeah it was Tebow......ahahahaahah, man that guy sucked in the pros".

but congrats none-the-less......I guess. And I realize a pro-career or pro-prospects have zero bearing on the Heisman.

And I think he also had the "hey its about time an underclassmen won it" thing going for him. Let's hope for a career threatening injury and/or death in the off-season. He is the college version of Brett Farve for the media. Corso wants to get an apartment with the guy.

Fight Night: All-around a decent card, def worth the money. I was surprised Manfredo went the distance with Lacy and that the decision was close.

As for the main event, it was solid. A lot of times mega-fights fail to live up to the hype but I think the ending helped solidify this fight as entertaining. Hatton seemed to be wearing down and coupled with PBF figuring out his style, the ending wasn't as surprising as you might first think it is. Lederman had a close fight but the judges had Floyd winning by a wide margin, interesting.

You have to start thinking about Floyd's place in history. What's up next for him? I'd love to see him take on Cotto.

Friday, December 07, 2007

mofos just dont know

Fight Night!
I'm pumped for this fight. Has a Gatti/Ward feel. Maybe because of Hatton. Whatever it is got me feeling good though. Might order this one.

My pick if you care would be Floyd in a decision. I feel like you need a chevy to knock hatton out cold.

Roger Mayweather should have his own reality show. NS.

OVERALL 58-60-2
Jax -11 over Carolina ($250)
Easiest pick on the board.

Take the Giants plus 3, that line is ridiculous.

Fuck it, I'll grab those 11 points that the Pats are offering. Even though they are home.

That's about all I like. Plus I'm studying for Bowl Season.
Massive post on that in two weeks.

Somebody fuck tonight. It's friday.

Deke have a good time, blow a wad, blow a load and eat a decent steak you maniac.

Thursday, December 06, 2007


My sources tell me that babyblue has been born.

I can't wait for her pictures to go up on pac-10 poon.

Let the countdown of days until babyblue is legal begin: Only 17 years, 364 days to go.

The hot stove is pretty much the only thing worth talking about today. Barry Bonds still wants to play. Noone (you suck teejer) seems interested. TLR says he doesn't care about Rolen's wishes to be traded (but he would never trade him to the Brew Crew). Cubs are in talks with the O's about Brian Roberts. Philly doesn't look to be able/willing to resign Rowand. Brewers signed some Royals reject named Riske to (maybe) be their closer. Rumor has it that the Giants might deal Lincecum for Alex Rios. Royals look like they got a steal with Jose Guillen, not only did they overpay for him, but he also is going to get suspended.

Late-breaking news from my west-coast correspondents...Andruw Jones has signed with the Dodgers.

CoD4 looks awesome.

Damn, I wish I would have watched some sports last night so I could talk about something relevant. But instead I stumbled around the internet. You tell stumble what topics interest you and it pops up sites that fit your likes. Fantastic way to waste lots of time.

Here is some of the fruits of my exhaustive effort to piss away a whole bunch of my life.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

This is a the subject matter of the day

miggy. Trelle. no shit?

-i cant believe they pulled it off. i mean, i understand the logic behind it and it is definitely the right move for "right now", but with all the knob-bobbing theyve done on the 2 main pieces of the deal, that's what i can't get over. Cameron Maybin and Andrew Miller were regarded as the second coming of... well, something that came correct once already. Miller was supposed to be The Anchor one day and Maybin was supposed to be so good that he was gonna move Granderson out of center within the next 2 years. they absolutely sloooooooobbed on these guys. like jizz on the chin and leave it there-slob. so that's what surprises me about the whole thing. i wonder if theyll move Inge back to being a catcher now, since they really dont have anybody that's worthwhile behind Pudge. they allegedly packaged Mike Rabelo into the deal, so there goes the backup from last year. Inge has a big chunk of salary though, so i wouldnt expect him to stick around. damn, if that negro could hit he'd be freakin awesome. his glove is solid gold like Soul Train. i will miss watching him play 3rd for us. it was a good run, Brandon. sorry to see you peace out. deuce deuce. chest lb.

in other news, the Tigers have a sick.. sick.. lineup. top to bottom that shit is Scary Spice.

-watched some of the Memphis/USC game last night. OJ Mayo looks like the kid who was way better than anyone he ever played against in hike school, then went to a shitty team, but high-profile program, in an effort to get mad minutes. he is like Flip Murray. bitch shoots all the damn time tryin to 'get his'. just seems like the kid who "acts" like he's really good on the floor.. and no doubt he hit some nice shots and seems like a good baller, but he seems like he is one who has the act and posturing down, rather than actually working on his game. this is better known as swagger. he acts like he is the shit, but i dont know that he actually has the game to fully compliment how good he thinks he is. example: the guy at pickup ball who wears the arm bands or knee sleeve (and doesnt have it on his knee) and kinda just throws the ball at the rim warming up, cause he's so good he dont needs no warmup shots. yeah, like that. maybe im wrong (who cares), but that's kinda the vibe i get after watching him a couple times. oh, plus both of those teams are really, really shitty. Memphis supposedly had an off night, but USC is just fucking awful. and Mayo has a skinny little Hitler mustache. looks like ma'fuggin Little Richard or some shit.

-haysoos, how do u add a 2 all-star caliber players like that to an already potent lineup and pitching rotation? fuck me, that's awesome.

-i want bowl games. i wish they meant something though. that's life, kid.

-today: office christmas luncheon. yay. this year, instead of just having out dinky little group involved, they invited a slew of people. yay, douchebags that think theyre important and try to act as if. sweet. i'm excited. i hope the food doesnt suck. i am putting my expectations low though.

-it's getting late, so i'll slop this up there.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Normal Crap From Tem

I didn't watch the Pats game so I won't write about it. Novel idea I know. Some other Internet bloggers should try it out. It would be nice if we all stuck together and didn't write about sports we never watched. It would bring a hint of legitimacy to these things. Because when my (our) peers write about sports they never watched it just supports the blogger haters. Blogger haters are mostly from mainstream media that say if you write on a blog then you are junk and can't get a real job (axe the Sports Guy about these douches). Well somewhere out here in blogger land some kid is trying to use his blog to get a real job and nobody is biting because a certain so and so who actually came to the blogger world with a hint of legitimacy has all but ruined it for lots of people out there. (Nothing was ruined for me, I have a job). Anyway, we all know who I mean when I talk about the sham of a blogger, and yes, he is our peer, which totally sucks for him, but that is the hand he has been dealt. So I say to this sham, quit writing about crap you don't even watch, quit having wild inaccuracies in all your posts. All you are doing is making it harder for some 18 year old with dreams of being in SI to realize his dreams. So drop any pretenses of legitimacy (like this blog has) or just hang it up. Jackass.

And that is the temrant for today.

Next up, a new addition to the weekly post. Idiots who piss me off (partially inspired by Jug's list of office idiots):

Today's inductee is the person who flies up behind me in the fast lane and then when I move over to let him by (note: I move over early and don't hold him up, I figure hell he might have somewhere important to be, sometimes I am in a hurry too and would like it if people moved for me) he slows down and just sits on my quarter panel. Anyway, fuck you guy who does this.

Weekly addition to the unspeakable list: Sarah Michelle Gellar. Tem is a big fan. It is especially nice when a chick can look hot as a blonde, brunette, and a red head. She pulls it off. Welcome to the list SMG.

Detriot has the most points in the NHL, they must still be good. Columbus has a winning record and let me tell you, about 10 people in this whole city care.

So I guess you all want a movie review, well not this week. TFB. Maybe if the demand is there I will add it later.

Tem's thoughts on the WVU game:

Terrible coaching by RR. Terrible play calling. They didn't run the same plays that had them whip up on UConn. They ran the dumbest crap I have ever seen. I'd say this loss is all the coaching staff's fault, but truth be told WVU should kick the shit out of Pitt even with bad coaching. So the players didn't show up either (and I am glad the talking heads have finally realized what I have been saying all year, Slaton is slow this year, he needs to lose half of whatever weight he put on). It was just a disaster. A huge black mark for a program needing some legitimacy. Put me on record for a BCS bowl score of WVU -10, OK -Infinity.

OK, it is late in the morning and TPS is calling big time. I wanted to write more, but I didn't.

Monday, December 03, 2007


What a kick in the nuts this past weekend was sports wise:

1) Les Miles, a man who proclaimed UM was his "dream job", pulls a 180 and decides to stay at LSU. How did UM bungle this one?

2) Your favorite NFL team has its best defensive player murdered earlier in the week, then on Sunday, your HOF coach helps blow the game. How does he not know the rules?

3) OSU makes the title game. I could tell you who I think should make the BCS Title game but you DAF, and IDGAF who you think should make it. The only thing that matters is what the BCS says. All Hail the BCS! (S).

4) Whale's Vagina, eliminated half of your office suicide pool, but then becomes the team that wins it all in the end. Fuck you Denver, you suck.

Did I miss anything?

BCS Matchups:

Title Game: LSU vs OSU
Sugar: Hawaii vs Georgia
Rose: USC vs Illinois
Orange: VT vs Kansas
Fiesta: OU vs WVU

And let me add a little holiday cheer to your day by recycling these from last year. The video is SFW, the audio, maybe not. Enjoy.

Part I:

Part II:

Part III:

Friday, November 30, 2007

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Guide (Special Edition)

Alabama - Athletics
Lots of athaletes come out of Bama. Athletes are athletic. Plus James Andrews is there. Also WC played with Peavy and that's as close as a LOV circle jammie that I can think of.

Alaska - Wild
Lots of wildlife in Alaska and they can play the hockey outside if they wanted to.

Arkansas - Hawks
Atlanta don't deserve 4 sports. When they start acting accordingly maybe we'll move the Hawks back. Til then enjoy Arkansas. Also Bill Clinton is from Arkansas and he hawks blowjobs from interns. Fair enough?

Connecticut - Patriots
This New England thing is dumb. Play in Hartford and you can still call yourselves New England. How's that? Plus there is nothing more patriotic than knowing the constitution and since Conneticut is known as the Constitution State that is above all.

Delaware - Senators
Being as Delaware is known as the First State having the Senators there makes sense.

Hawaii - Warriors
We could even go with the Rainbow Warriors if you'd like. I know that offends people but what doesn't nowadays.

Idaho - Raptors
There is no ryhme or reason to this other than black people inhabiting Idaho would be hilarious. And NBA has the most black people. And fuck Toronto Poputlation is 97% white in Idaho btw.

Iowa - fuck you Weazy, you get shit and like it
Kansas - fuck you again Weazy, hahahahahahahaaa

Kentucky - Blue Jays
Blue grass, Blue Jays. No brainer.

Maine - Clippers
Sounds like a boat docked in the Maine harbor. Good enough for me. I wonder Billy Crystal would still come to the games?

Mississippi - Browns
I think there is mud in Mississippi. Mud is brown.

Montana - Grizzlies
Montana has the largest grizzly bear population in the lower 48 states. Wiki is my Easy button.

Nebraska - Royals
Kansas City won't even know they are misssing.

Nevada - Kings (NBA)

New Hampshire - Canucks
Let Canada start thier own Hockey League.

New Mexico - Padres
18.1% of the population is Mexican, so not only can you catch a baseball game but if your not mexican you wont have to worry about the guy in front of you blocking your vision because he's too tall.

North Dakota - Rockets
They develop alot of coal and oil. So fuels can be made and Rockets need fuel. Oh and the US Air Force has two bases here and they have Rockets so there's that as well.

Oklahoma - Reds
Okla and humma, means "red people". Formed from the Indian territory. Red also matches the Sooners football jersey's.

Rhode Island - Islanders
This makes sense for many reasons. One Islanders/Island connection. Duh. Rhode Island is synonmous with New York in many ways. They share water, they have a large Italian population, they eat well and they have chest hair.

South Dakota - Coyotes
Coyotes run that state. Also unconfirmed sources state the Road Runner cartoons starring Wile E. Coyote were filmed in the Black Hills of South Dakota. One more thing, Dances with Wolves was filmed in South Dakota and Wolves are in the same family has Coyotes, so there.

Vermont - Maple Leafs
Easiest pick on the board. How is this not the case today?

Virginia - Cavaliers
That's the name of the college team so in an effort not to confuse the Virginians we should keep it simple. Bron Bron, meet the Beltway Sniper.

West Virginia - Bucs (NFL)
Cuz then TEM dont have to change allegiances.

Wyoming - Bills
Aren't there lot's of Buffalo roaming around? Like Bisons and shit.

Panthers -3.5 over SF
Over Browns @ Arizona (52)
Broncos -3.5 in OAK

Army / Navy classic - Take the Midshipmen -14
Stanford +14
Hawaii -14 over Washington
Under 46 VaTech/B.C game
Missouri +3.5 (when's the last time the #1 team was a dog in it's league championship game?)

Overall 54-56-2


Thursday, November 29, 2007

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Who loves ya, babe?

-Indiana/Ga Tech is on. DJ White seems solid. He plays basketball well. He shoots free fro's real shitty. This game ended with Indiana winning 77-62. Dont read Esssspin, they lie about the score. I was at the game. Believe me instead.

-It needs to be mentioned from the front page... Ricky Williams played in one game. Juan. That is freakin hilarious. Now Ricky can go smoke out. Just quit, man. Seriously, football is too hard anyway(zzzzzzzz). Didnt someone mention that he was gonna get 100 yards first time out? Whoever said that should take over Fridays and give betting advice. Pleace Advice.

-"Yeah that's what I'm talkin 'bout!!"

-March needs to get here. I'm already tired of the regular season of college hoops and I havent even watched one game. I think I'm up to 8 minutes of game time.

-So that dude that died... wasn't he ghetto as f*ck? I'm not sayin nothin about him cause of that.. of course I'm not gonna speak ill of the dead. Well, I totally would, but I'm really just too tired to think of him.. but I'm just getting mentally prepared to hear about how great he was and all that crap. I just need to remember the "real" him. Oh nevermind, WWL gives me a headline that says "He was maturing". Thank you. That is all I needed to know. However, that does suck ass to die. Just in general, ya know? Don't do it, kids.

-I just saw a banner for El Retardo's "Marathon Chat" on Wednesday. Apparently he is still a columnist and getting a paycheck? Troubling.

-Since the Blazers aren't using him, Greg Oden should go back to Tha Ohio State University. They could use him. Shit, they aren't even ranked.

-The Kooks put out a solid album called "Inside In the Outside Out". I think they're really young and from another country. Austrailia, the UK... China.. something very "indie rawk" like that.

-College foosball coaches are getting hired and fired everywhurr. Let's find a replacement for Lloyd soon, please.

-I really need to get a haircut.

-Like, really, fer shur need one.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Pasta Primavera

OK so here is the thing, I'm not going to talk about any sports today because I don't want to talk about Mr. Taylor's death and I'd feel even worse if I talked about everything else but that. So anyway, as with everyone who dies, I send good thoughts to the friends and family of Mr. Taylor.

So what I will talk about is some more random crap. This is stuff that I think about fairly often. Crap like this gets stuck in my head and never leaves. If this were to be a regular addition to the "column" I'd have to name it stupid shit tem thinks of. I guess it is along the line of Skunkpatch's "10 things I think I think." except my stuff is not as retarded (but don't worry it is still retarded).

1) If humans evolved from monkeys and God created humans in his own image, doesn't that make God a monkey? And if God is a monkey does that make humans > God? Or does it just mean that Monkey God is pissed off about how we turned out. Perhaps humans = Monkey God's greatest failure.

2) Isn't it possible that the universe is just some hike school kid's (alien) 4th grade science fair project? At first he/she was all into it but now we are just locked in some closet waiting for the kid's parents to die so that when he/she inherits the house he/she can come back and find the shoebox with the universe in it and say "I remember making that, it was awesome, whoa! now it is a shithole." And the he/she will throw us out.

3) It is too hard to pass legislation that stops old people from driving (because they all suck at it) because old people are the only ones who vote.

4) Luck is a zero sum gain. Meaning that if something lucky happens to you that somewhere someone else is having bad luck. So the next time you run into some good luck think of the person who is having bad luck because of you.

5) People at work need to realize that tuesday's I post so they need to leave me alone. Also they need to make up their minds about certain things. But they pay me money so I won't bitch out loud.

OK time to add another chick to the unspeakable list: I am going to jump on the Amy Adams bandwagon and add her to the list. She is in that Enchanted movie, which of course I have not seen and also was in Talledega Nights. She was the dorky hot chick. I did see that movie. Anyway, Amy welcome aboard. I know you are reading this and are thrilled.

Now for the tem movie review of a movie tem has not seen: 25th Hour

This movie is number 55 on El Pad's list, apparently. This is a rare movie that I have never even heard of, let alone seen. But in any case it is a pretty good movie. It is really similar to the 24 show that is on Fox from time to time, but it has 25 hours instead. I really think that the Fox people decided that the movie would make a good TV show, if they just had cut an hour off the thing.

Anyway, so in 25th Hour Kurt Russel has 25 hours to escape from a prison city. It turns out the prison city is New York. Also he has to escape with the president who fell out of a plane and landed there. He has 25 hours to do it in, so of course he takes all 25 hours. The movie really focuses on that last hour. So anyway, Russel goes in, finds the president, shoots some hoops with Shaft and befriends some taxi driver or something. He gets the president out, but double crosses him somehow and saves America. It is awesome.

3 helmet stickers out of 5.

OK comment away.

Monday, November 26, 2007

I'm a 24 point favorite.

Personally I hate going back to work the day after an extended break/holiday. You get to have the same lame exchange about 50 times with people you don't really care about.

Co-Worker : "hey, how was your (holiday name/vacation)?"

You: "great"

This ranks up there with "IT'S FRIDAYYY!!!!1111!!!"

One time in college me and my friends got tired of this and started making up shit/saying stoopid shit. One dood came up with "I got hooked on heroin" after the "how was your break" question came up. Turned out the chick he said this to, had a best friend who was hooked on H, which made it even funnier. (true story)

Anyway, I refuse to ax you all "how was your thanksgiving".

Nor will I ax how your travel went (if you had to). What I will add is that, while traveling I was really disturbed by the lack of manners we, as a society, show. No one covers their mouth when they cough or sneeze, people don't use inside voices around people who are sleeping on plane, parents choose not to parent their kids when they act up - really, a kid screaming/coughing/etc - and you don't tell it to quiet down? Gotdamn this is driving me crazy. And some dood wouldn't buy a snack on a plane because the bills he would get back as change were too crumpled (true story again). WTH?

Holiday shopping. Fuck that. Getting up at 4AM for a "sale"? Hell no. No man should step foot in or near a mall in the next month. Unless you're trying to impress a new chick and expedite finishing on her face. Holiday shopping = internets shopping.

The only sports related "commentary" I'll give you is this : Hawaii deserves a BCS "at large" spot. NS. I got to peep game on the entire Boise St./HI game and was thoroughly impressed with HI. They'll give someone a hellacious matchup problem. I'm not sure about Brennan in the pros as he seems short and has a weird delivery.

You want more sports, go here.

I peeped game on Beowulf. I fell asleep. I'll give it an "incomplete" on the Prince Chill-o-meter. Seemed like it might be pretty good. CGI Angie looked marvelous however.

Comments will be "under renovation". (s)

Roger. Over.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Might as well be me...

Someone usually puts up a post for Sunday footyball. It might as well be me.

Especially since all of you have been clamoring for a good Rev posting. You know you want it. Oh yeah... you're begging for a 9 scroller, aren't you?

I don't know if I have a long posting in me. But I'll say a few things.

- I've figured out what tonight's Iggles-Pats game reminds me of. Does everyone remember the first Wrestlemania? Think King Kong Bundy vs. SD "Special Delivery" Jones.

The Pats are the King Kong Bundy of the league. Remember when Bundy used to squash an opponent, pin him for the three, then Bundy would yell "FIIIIVVVVEEEE" at the ref to get him to make a 5 count?

That's the Pats. They are the King of the 5 Count right now.

(Cue the obvious Rev comparison to King Kong Bundy jokes now)

Of course, SD Jones was from Philadelphia. Says it all right there. The only guys SD could beat on a regular basis were guys like Iron Mike Sharpe and Barry Horowitz.

- Bill Callahan got fired in Nebraska. Which surprised the hell out of me.

No, not that he got fired. I actually forgot Bill Callahan was still coaching somewhere.


- Am I the only one that thinks this weekend in the NFL sucks? Most of the good teams played already on Thursday, and those games sucked. Wash vs. TB... mildly interesting. Houston and Cleveland... maybe. Otherwise, there's a lot of mediocre vs. mediocre, or good vs. suck games out there. I got nothing funny to say about it. Just struck me as a crap weekend.

I got nothing else. I could gloat about J-Roll winning the MVP, but that is so last Tuesday.

Rev out.

Friday, November 23, 2007


Short week
Early day
Football Bets
Over 63 in the Akron/Central Mich
Nebraska +4 over Colorado
LSU -14 and the over 59 vs. Arkansas
Texas -7 over A&M
Boise +3 over Hawaii
Kentucky -3 over Vols
Over 53 Clemson/South Carolina
Missouri +2 over Kansas
Pats -22.5
Yesterday I was 3-1
Lions got raped, BBB = happy
Boys rolled
The Colts are back
Overall I'm 51-52-1
Turkey was good
cookies for breakfast
it's cold
i'm at work
Can't watch the Knicks

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

wHaT r U tHaNkFuL 4 'N' wHy?????

BBB's post, enjoy:
Off for the week n' ish. you get the slightly early in the evening post for all your troubles. maybe EP shoulda just used today for his betting post. woulda probably been smart. maybe i shoulda come up with the idea before we both left up outta this mofo. ah well. incase u dont read comments and u want his picks, theyre up on his blog, so go fetch.

I present this next little nugget in honor of all things PWT (poor white trash):

And before someone starts in with the "it might be tacky but that crap costs more than your car does!".. no, no it doesnt, but that's irregardlessness.. more importantly, it is however far more tacky than anything that i will evar own. even if i owned weazy's coked-up "wife" after buying her Hostel-style from a rich overseas business man, this shitstain of a tribute vehicle would still be the tackiest. by far.

Folks, that's sayin' something.

Anyways... the last thing i gotta say is "look out for that wall".

I hope everybody has a great TGiving and enjoys spending time with their families n' shit... wait. that's a lie. i hope everyone except Beth chokes on chicken bones, although she is the most likely to be in position to do so by showcasing her talents at the work dinner buffet. sad, but true. (love you, snookums).


The Lions eat ass and i hope to high heaven they get anal raped sans lube on national tv on Turkey Day. good times.

if i didnt post this by tmrw morning, somebody else just do it for me, will ya?piece bitches!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


What ever happened to that Monk show? Tony Shalhoub won like Emmys and stuff for that show and now I never see it advertised and never see it on TV. Maybe that is because I don't watch USA that much. I never watched the show and I have no clue what made me think of it, but there it is anyway.

Same question for that Charmed show. That show should have been the best show ever. A show about 3 hot witches? Sign me up. Of course I never watched it. It was on basic cable too, so maybe they had a nip slip or some ass or something. I bet someone on here watches Charmed all the time and can fill us all in. In the end I suspect it was a huge let down. Still I think it was on for like 7 or more seasons. That is good. Some of those cable shows get good runs. Which makes that Monk mystery all the more mysterious.

Also I should note that apparently Tom Brady got my message from last week about me not wearing his cologne. I did not see an ad for his stuff in my ESPN the Mag this week. Thanks for reading Tom and thanks for caring.

Has that Cavemen show been cancelled? If not WTF? I guess this writers strike means some of these shows will get to show all of their crap because with no writers no other show is ready to go on short notice. Yeah is times like this that I am glad I do not watch a whole lot of TV.

So I was reading this list of movies with shitty titles and came across "Operation Dumbo Drop." It was then that I realized that I watch some really shitty movies. I have seen Operation Dumbo Drop, but not Swingers.....Something is seriously wrong with me. What sucks more is that I am pretty sure that everyone else knew, but never let me in on it. It is like everyone assumed I already knew. Well thanks for nothing jackasses.

Denver won last night, Stokley was on my bench and I don't want to talk about it. I am just pissing away my money league with shitty decisions. I'd like to say that this was an unusual trend, but it is not. I make shitty decisions.

NHL news: Ottawa still has the most points, they must be the best team.

NASCAR half sentence: Matt Kenseth won the race but Jimmie

NBA news: Knicks have lost 6 in a row. Also Boston has a good record. I'd say more, but you already know.

NFL news: If you don't know about the NFL and exactly what is going on you need to crawl out from under that rock you are living under and poke your own eyes out. Then listen to some fricken ESPN radio.

CFB news: See NFL news.

You know what cancelled TV show I really liked? I liked that damn Ed show. It had some dude in it and one of the chicks from an Adam Sandler movie (Happy Gilmore chick I think.). Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest. There was a movie called Ed TV. I did not watch it and I do not think it had anything to do with the TV show named Ed.

Also I am pretty sure that is why I don't watch TV anymore. All the shows I used to like got cancelled. Fuck new things, I want those old shows that nobody watched but me back on TV.

Unspeakable addition this week: Emily Deschanel. Chick is in that Bones show. Drives me nuts. Also in a rare double addition I am adding Keri Russell as well. Mostly because I think they look alike.

Tem movie review of a movie tem has never seen: Raging Bull

OK so this movie is just like Brokeback Mountain, except the exact opposite. It is like a better Lonesome Dove. There is this really pissed off bull who is fucking up this ranch and it needs stopped. So the owner of the ranch, played by Jack Palance calls some bad ass cowboy. Let's just say that DiNiro plays the cowboy and he brings along his badass friend who is played by Joe Pesci.

So DiNiro and Pesci get to the ranch and the bull isn't falling for any of their usual cowboy tricks. So they have to think outside of the box. They decide to challenge this bull to a boxing match. The loser has to leave the ranch forever. So Pesci has an old war wound and can't box the bull so DiNiro has to. DiNiro wins in a KO in the 19th round, I forgot to mention this was a non sanctioned bout so it had 20 rounds. The bull leaves the ranch, Jack Palance gives DiNiro and Pesci lots of money and they leave to go find something else to do.

3.5 helmet stickers out of 5.

Monday, November 19, 2007

At long last......

finally.....a new coach!

From the outside, it's tough to look at the overall record and understand why UM fans are so happy that Carr is stepping down. UM gets decent enough talent to, at the very least, compete for the Big 10 title every season (which, for the most part they do). But recently, the program has slipped. It's time for a new voice. I'm starting to warm to the idea of Les Miles as the coach, though I'm not completely sold, yet. Lloyd ran a clean program and did well enough, he doesn't deserve to be totally clowned for the job he did. Although his putrid record vs Tressel will mos def cloud his legacy. Good luck in the future Lloyd.

I'm looking fwd to the last few weeks of CFB's regular season, it should be wild. I think Keef brought this up in the comments - for all the uproar about the BCS not working, it has gotten it right almost every year. I'm sure there are still a few more surprises left in the next two weeks.

On Countdown, Mort reported that Dan Snyder used tickets allotted for players, and gave them to corporate sponsors. He said that the team had to buy extra tix for the players on scalping sites. When I heard this it was disappointing, but not surprising. The team however says this story is bogus. I used to think Mort was one of ESPN's best and overall one of the best in the business, he seems like a genuine and bright guy, but he's had some big misses lately, especially if this story isn't true. Vick not being indicted, Eli's shoulder, etc. Lock it up Mortimer.

Me and FMZ hit up a new restaurant over the weekend and had a nice bottle of Malbec from Catena. Very smooth, and affordable.

We also peeped game on American Gangster. It was.......good. I had high hopes. I wasn't disappointed but I thought they could have done more. Overall, 3.5 out of 5 Prince Chills. Of note, there were at least 3 if not more "movie mess-ups" in this, in at least three scenes you could see the boom mic come into the top of the screen. I've never seen that before and you'd figure a movie of that magnitude would not have those types of mistakes.

Friday, November 16, 2007

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Guide

Bonds indicted. Sir Charles on TNT last night said everyone should go to jail not just Bonds. Um, Charles. He didn't get indicted for pumpin horse hormone in his buttcheek he got indicted for lying and obstructing justice. No one else did that as far as I know. Giambi told the truth. Now maybe Palmerio and McGwire, fine I'll give you them but let's not start going down THAT road already.

And Bonds is a first ballot hall of famer. If you don't think so your a moron and a hypocrite. It's the steroid era. There are rapists, thiefs, and plenty of assholes already in the Hall, what's one more?

It's halftime as I write this and Oregon is down 31-14. Yikes. No Dixon though so I guess that will be the excuse. There was no Leaf born a leader. And they went down as I recap this post this am. What is that like the 8th #2? Who benefits? Oklahoma? Kansas? WVU? Interesting.

Arod stays in the boogie down. I'm no Yankee fan but how many baseball fans can say they have the best player ever to play, period. playing in their city. I will make my way to go see him from time to time.

Suns are warming up.

Where I Stand: Last week 5-4, Overall 44-47

Let's just jump right on the big one.
MICHIGAN +4 over Ohio State($25)
Notice the amount. It's because I have no clue. Will the Wolverines be motivated by the fact that they can still win the Big Ten? After that Appa, after that Appa.. Fuck I can't even say it. After the early season stumble you would have never thought that they would even be in contention for the title but they are and it comes vs a team that has owned them the past 3 years. The problem with me being sure or not about this bet is simple. Everywhere I look, I get an even read. Usually when I cap a game I look at opening lines, who's home and the home/away records, last 5 games played, last 5 games played vs. each other & conference and recent trends. If I'm desperate for info I'd delve into the officials records, weather and other "expert" picks. Of course there are invariables like injuries, emotional type banter and so on.

The opening line is 4. It never shifted so there goes that. Recent trends obviously favor the Buckeyes. Last 5 games vs Conference is even, last 5 played vs each other favors the Buckeyes. Michigan is home, The Big House is no ordinary home game so they get the edge there. Hart is back, Henne is too so no major injuries to report. Mich has one loss vs. a Big Ten opponent as does O.State. Each losing to a team that the other one beat. I think Michigan beat two more quality teams than O. State did so there is that. It's pretty much a dead heat stat wise no matter what you say. So why am I siding with the team I root for? Because OSU's QB sucks. And no one seems to know this. Michigan pulls this one out 28-24. Hart carries the ball 14 times in the 4th quarter on a 19 play, 8 minute drive late in the 4th quarter to ice it. Also:

Manningham > Robiske
Hart > Beanie Wells
Henne > Todd Boeckman

Missouri -7 over K.State ($500)
I think this is a lock. The amount says it all.

ILLINI -14 over Northwestern ($100)
Northwestern stinks. Juice Williams coming off some terriffic play in defeating OSU should beat them by themselves. Also Northwestern beat Illinois the last four games. It's a given they are not losing this one.

I'm not laying 26 over Iowa St. depsite them sucking goat nuts. I think these last 4 games are really going to prove whether or not Kansas can hang around and shock the nation. (Put this is a small parlay, Iowa St. +26 or in a tease, make it 36 or 38)

Lots of big spreads in the Pros this week. Here's my take on each of them:

Colts are reeling, no way they cover 15 points. Even if they are home. ($50)

Jets get slam-danced by the Steelers. It may take til the 2nd half though. Jets + 6 for the 1st half is a decent play. Steelers for the game though, they are -10. ($50, $50)

Fins getting 10 @ Philly. Jon Beck to make his first start. Yikes. Lay the wood. ($150)

Take the Bills +16.5. That crowd will be jacked, it's a primetime game and while the Pats are very, very good right now the week off might hurt them A) and B) the Bills are red hot right now. Tough go of it if Lynch is really out this week. I'd say 24-17 final. ($50)

Skins +11 over Cowboys. Fuck the Cowboys. ($50)

Pack -10 over Carolina who look really, really bad. My boy John Fox is having a rough one huh? ($200)

BENGALS -4 over Arizona ($50) because I hate AZ on the road and I think the Bengals are primed to run off 3 or 4 games in a row. Once a year a team or two get hot down the stretch. For some reason I think it's these Bengals.

What do you want for Christmas and why?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Stabby rip stab stab

Seattle is no longer winless.

So the question has to be asked, how hapless are the Heat? Pat Riley thinks he can suit up and play better. The crazy thing is, he just might be. But one good hip check and he's gone. Shaq is really really old and feeble. Mind you, he could still probably break me in half, but he's feeble for a pro ball player.

Kevin Durant still has a horrible FG%.

Marshawn Lynch is out for this weekend against the Pats. But it doesn't matter, the Bills will win anyway. The Patriots are overrated.

Missy Peregrym is hot. Really hot.

The MLB GMs look like they want instant replay. Bud Selig, predictably is a moron. He has "no timetable" for deciding upon the issue.

In other news, making fun of emo kids is wicked fun.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

You underestimate my sneakiness

Is it me, or does it just seem like there's not too much exciting sports news to report. I mean, A-Rod hasnt been traded, the Kobe front has been quiet and the Patriots are only practicing today.

Or maybe my jaded outlook has something to do with this...

Negro, pleeze. You have got to be kidding me. After seeing them bust out the comparison chart after 6 games, I truly hope Ray-Ray's ankles blow up or Pierce gets a slice of metal shoved in his gut. I'm really not a mean or violent person, but the WWL is doing this to me. Mainly, I just wanna drop a deuce in a zip-lock baggie, leave it unzipped, and throw it towards the general direction of Bristol, CT.

I'm actually more excited to see a team like this come together and kick ass, as we could all use the break of watching a one-man show or seeing terribly boring teams win year after year. It's kinda along the lines of why I wanna see the Suns actually make noise in the playoffs sometime soon. As much as it pains me to have any more Boston bullshit for the media to cover, the idea of a multi-pronged star attack team is cool. I like it. But sod off with your "Greatest Teams Evar" arguments right now. WTF is with this obsession of being The First to "call" something. Everybody wants to be on the bandwagons ASAP nowadays. Does this give you cred? Maybe some sort of personal satisfaction? I'm still not sure. I could see if it had some worth, like adding to your Fantasy Trophy shelf. Maybe everyone thinks they could be a pro scout the same way people think they could be an A&R guy or talent scout at a record label. w.t.f. Instant history shticks are bad enough when they're from some dude's basement blog, but Haysoos Creest-o, but how often can the WWL pump this 'chit out. It's truly becoming unbelievable. I'm waiting for the day that the backlash comes. Hopefully it'll be sooner than later, cause I am beginning to think something is wrong with me cause I'm really getting "over" it all. What becomes bothersome is that it actually detracts from the events themselves.. just kinda kills the whole joy of even watching the actual games. But as with the Super Bowl and with the Pats/Colts games, I pretty much go into solitary confinement and don't read too much sports news or have to turn the TV off or whathaveyou. It helps, but it still seeps into your day. (I can't quit you?) It was nice to hear hardly anything about the Pats/Colts though.. that was a good job of maximum avoidance by myself. It made the game enjoyable for what it was. A freakin game.

-If I never hear about Ricky Williams again, my life will still be complete.

Over and out. Niner.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Entertain Yourselves

Cause if you want a song and dance, it'll be a little while.

Monday, November 12, 2007

......precocious and full of wonderment.

Quick Hitters:

Who has the "best" loss of the 1 loss teams? Timing is everything.

I used to say "every game is a playoff game for CFB, it doesn't need a playoff". Wrong. CFB needs a playoff. The NCAA is all about making money but refuse to adapt and create a playoff system which would create a shitload of money. I realize its not that simple but come on mayne.

Who's the Heisman front runner? Dixon?

Navy and Air Force? Seriously, Chuck Weiss shoulda been fired a week ago.

Move over SEC, the Big 12 is the best conference right now. NS

I hate when CFB officials review an obvious call, it serves no purpose other than to fire up the crowd. Stop it.

Impressive win for Cotto. Welterweight is an awesome weight class.

Leandrino! The Captain nets 39 on Saturday in a starting role for the injured Raja Bell. I'm positive he could avg 25+ a game if he started, easily. Oh yeah, the Suns were 3-1 on a quick East Coast trip. Weird trip, 2 sets of b-2-b's. In both 2nd games, the other team was also in the 2nd game of a b-2-b.

Did you know the Kings have a curfew? I didn't.

Dallas, fuck, great team (at least for the NFC). Gibbs? Hit the front office. Get Cowher in there.

Vince Young, the magical wins are wearing off and people are starting to see the warts. This will get worse.

AD hurt - it was only a matter of time. Shows you how foolish "maybe one of the all time greats" instant history is. The media, Shammy et al, are always too eager to create more hype than necessary. That's nothing new to report but its annoying. Let the story create itself, don't create the story.

Adam V misses two bunnies in the same game? No matter how poor the refs are, you toss 6 picks you don't deserve to win. If your team is coached by Norv you don't deserve to win. Go figure.

I still haven't seen American Gangster, this bothers me.

CYE really rallied the last few episodes.

Thank you for coming out, good night and god bless.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Hands Across...Am-er-i-caaaaaaa!

Gonna put up a new post for Sunday footyball.

Crazy day in CFB yesterday. All of the OSU naysayers had their wood stroked! eye-told-yous-so!!!11!!!!!.

Eh whatever. The Big 10 is obviously not the strongest conference, no Big 10 fan will debate that. However, its like any other conference, games are always tight and tough.

Losing at home like that though was a bit of a surprise. Maybe this will be a blessing for CFB in general so there will be a LSU/Oregon final after all.

Is this loss for OSU worse than losing to Kentucky (who then lost to Miss St)? Is it worse than Oregon's loss to Cal? Debateable. But since it came late in the season, RIP tOSU's title chances.

I'm pissed they lost, if they would have won they might have been a little overconfident for next week's game. Now they'll be sharper, re-focused and pissed, which is not a good combo for UM.

As for UM, bad loss yesterday. Not because it was to Wisconsin, but because they didn't look very good. You take Hart off the field and UM is lost. At least Mallett is getting some run, he's a beast.

CFB has been wild this season, and from the looks of it College Hoops could be just as wild. First James Gardner-Webb whoops Kentuckee (sic), now Mercer downs USC. I'm sure SEC fans will have excuses for the Ken-tuckee loss though. Because afterall, IT'S THE SEC!!!!!

Friday, November 09, 2007

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Guide

I hope Michigan can make it out of Wisconsin. That game scares me for whatever reason.

Pat White is fast. And in regards to the LOVAD on Pat White and whether or not he's a NFL QB, the answer is no. I can't even see him being drafted. Just too small. Smells like a free agent signing, a practice squad or two then maybe he'll hang out with Eric Crouch. They can open up a Option QB School somewhere.

Cotto in a decision.

I fucking love football. This week's Giant game is huuggge. I'm not going to bet it, just want to sit back, relax and scream nasty things at the TV. Maybe cook up a beef stew or some wings.

Where I stand
Last week 5-9
Overall 39-43

Back under the 50%, gotta pick more games. Either I'm going to get buried of going to pull myself out of it. Here we go.

Not much in college that tickles my nuts this week. I'm luke-warm on the slate of games.
Is Uconn for Derek Fo Real? Take the points, take a shot. They are +7 in Cincy.

Boise -25 should blow out....

Even though Auburn is the best road SEC team alive, I like Georgia this week to cover the 2 points....

New Mexico I'm kind of leaning towards to cover the 10 vs Colorado St...

SC +8 intrigues me, so far my SEC rule has worked. (SEC team getting more than a TD I usaully take it)

Onto the Pros....
GREEN BAY -6 over Vikings ($200)
Adrian Peterson had two ridiculous performances this year. I will not believe that Minnesota goes into Lambeau and wins this game under any circumstance. Packers are coming off two very good road wins and have a nice run stuffing defense. I don't know who quarterbacks for the Vikings this week but I know that whoever that person is will suck.

SAINTS -12 over Rams ($150)
No one is hotter than Brees right now. He's doing his last year's impression. Really locked in. This gets ugly early. We're talking like 42-10 here folks. NS.

Indy -3.5 over SD ($200)
Indy doesn't lose to Minnesotta or K.C. They beat those teams. And mostly beat them by alot. Tony Dungy >>>>>>>>>>>>> Norv Turner. The Chargers should be 6-2 easily right now. Peyton is boiling after having a chance to beat the Pats again he makes due on Sunday night with a clinic in a 35-17 whooping.

Browns +10 over STILLERS ($50)
I think they keep it close. Might even have a lead in the game at one point. They are alot better than last year I mean I think that's obvious. Take advantage of Vegas here, they seem to think that Monday night game vs the Ravens was a measuring stick for the Steelers. Rape them like the dirty whores that they are.

Bye -7 over JETS (Insert Savings Account Figure here)

For shits and giggles.....

Tease it-
Saints @ pickem
Bills +9
Browns +22
OVER 33 in the Giant/Cowboys tilt

Thursday, November 08, 2007

I know nothing

I know nothing about fantasy basketball. Really, I know nothing about the NBA, period.

I keep thinking about the super lateral play that happened last week or something (Trinity State?) and how they played against Millsap.

And all of the sudden I'm hearing about the Jazz player Paul Millsap. Just seems like a ridiculous coincidence that both Millsaps surfaced at the same time.

So here's the deal, I'm obviously running out of steam as a poster. So I propose help me do something that other people have no trouble with. Coming up with topics to post about. 'Cause I apparently am not good enough to do it myself.

For your viewing pleasure:

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Like a great Meatloaf video, its all coming back to you..

i think i might be more involved in college hoops this year. pro stuff has seemed very uninteresting so far.. well, to be honest, a lot of sports seem to have taken a backseat for me lately. i dont know what it is. it's not you.. it's me. no, actually it is you. you let yourself get fat, got stanky breath and your lack of commitment to this relationship is what's doing us in. the blame has been squarely placed on you now. and justifiably so, i might add.

ive hardly watched anything on my Sunday Ticket too. when i first got it last year, it was like i lowered my standards to watch every game possible. i loved it. it was pure unadulterated glee. red zone channel was brilliant, the multi-game channel was spectacular (especially on a super large-ass tv). but now im like.. well, i'll tune in to the good matchups (which seem like theyre on the regional channels anyway), but all that other shit has been put on timeout and placed in the corner. i actually whooped its ass before i punished it in timeout too. like dad used to say, i gave it something to cry about. i really showed it. oh and real quick about pro before we move on.. the Lions still suck, dont let the record fool you. i cant wait til they actually play a real team and get raped just so the local writers will stop with stories like yesterday's.. "theyre real close to being one of the elite teams". youre shitting me. you seriously wrote that article? and got paid for it?? naaaaaah..

but anyways, back to college hoops.. they showed some kid from Marquette or something.. he's a freshman guard and played his first game the other night and he had some pretty sick highlights. he was throwin down pretty hard and he looked like a little guy.. i dont know, it just got the juices going hoping that i can once again see some sports where there's some excitement and shit in it.

ive kinda been digging on college foosball this year though. i like that theres a little more parity and that has led to good games, even though there have been alot of shitty teams getting WAY too much pub' and recognition. i've been more into it on a broader scale though, and even though watching my Wolverines is practically fucking intolerable this year. seriously, they suck. who let them back into the top 15 anyways? i saw them at 12 last week and almost shit myself. people will try to play up that story as if theyve overcome all this crap and fought back.. but really, it aint like that. look at this year overall.. USF (?!) was at 2, BC was just there.. just look at the top 10 from any week so far this year and try not to openly scoff at like half the teams. try it, it's enjoyable. one day when they bust out the Saved By The Bell time capsule and look at this year, they will then quickly throw the rankings on the ground and piss on them.

but i digress, Lloyd blows and needs to go. does anybody else underperform with the talent they are given on a more consistent basis than that bitch? wtf. kick his old ass out. they were lucky to win the State game, and if there wouldve been enough time for State to have run the ball instead of having to rely on the pass, UM woulda lost that bitch fo' sho'. i was waiting for State to walk it back down the field and make them eat it. also, Mike Hart... love ya bro, but playing it off and saying State was the "little brother that u let get up, then u come back and beat him".. bullshit. your hobbling little ass wasnt even on the field in crunch time. you are badass back, but sit your shit down. it's annoying to hear, even from a fan on your side. but let's take a moment to reflect on the move that he put on some guys at mid-field during that game. (insert youtube clip here). and if we dont have the clip, then put the memory of it there. and if you dont have the memory, then act like you just saw a really sick juke move, cause it was hotness. the guy missed so bad that it almost looked like a glitch you'd see in a video game.

i could go drag my eyes across the wwl headlines for other stories to comment on, but theres other blogs that do that just fine already. so i'll wrap this up like i'm 'bout to stick it in a passed out skank that i found caged in TJW's basement...

we outtie 5000 y'all!

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino