Friday, December 29, 2006

Jack N' Coke

Rutgers with the exclamation point on their season! Cal thumps A&M by 35. I love this team. And with everyone coming back (Lynch may forego the senior year, he is ready) they will be dangerously explosive next year. Bama loses via last second FG to OK State. Let's see what direction they go with whoever they hire. Today I believe we have 5 games on the board. Startin at 1pm (which infuriates me, cuz I'll be working) and ending with two at 8pm tonight.
Bowl Picks (I'm hot)

Gotta love Scott Boras. Guy just gets amazing deals for his clients.

Tyson arrested for DUI (didn't know he knew how to drive) and crack cocaine possession. I'm shocked.

Knight doesn't get the W, UNLV has a pretty good team out there.
Iverson drops 44 at home and with some nifty moves mixed in.
Suns succumb to some Dallas "D" although the alley from Nash to Amare was so sweet.
Spurs spank Jazz. Clearly that 21-8 record is fugazy.

Rough year 67-83-2. Parity rules.

But this is the story of the NFL this year. The NFC is a shit show. The AFC's shittiest team, take your pick (Jets, Bengals, Broncos, Jacksonville), would destroy any NFC top seed including, DA Bears and the Aint's. This year's superbowl, unless it's Chargers/Saints, will suck and the AFC team will be favored by two TD's. Yeahhhh!

On to the Picks:

Jints -2.5 over SKINS: because they will make the playoffs then get crushed by 40pts. (burnin face on panini maker)

Bills +9 over RAVENS: Ravens can clinch a 1st rd bye with a W but Bills make them work for it.

BEARS -3 over Packers: are we serious with this line?

Steelers +6 over BENGALS: AFC North battle to knock each other out of playoff contention.

COWBOYS -12 over Detroit: 38-14, thanks for showing up Detroit.

TEXANS -4 over Browns: Crennel showed no improvement this year.

Dolphins +9 over COLTS: Fins have two things the Colts don't. A running game, and a defense.

CHEIFS -2 over Jacksonville: Can't believe Jax is not going to the playoffs. Those two losses to the Texans have to be stinging the nostrils.

VIKES +2 over Rams: Vikes peek into the future and play all their kids. Truth is, all their kids are pretty good.

SAINTS -3 over Panthers: Aint's clinch the 1st round bye.

EAGLES -7 over Falcons: No team is hotter right now than those Iggles.

BUCS -3 over Seahawks: Hasselbeck, Alexander get rest

TITANS -3 over Pats: Why not? Pats have nothing to play for.

BRONCOS -10.5 over Niners: Denver wins for a playoff birf.

Cards +13 over CHARGERS: Just to cover, of course.

oh yeah, hi bill

and Happy fucking new year!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west

A state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness
The track hits ya eardrum like a slug to ya chest
Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex
We in that sunshine state with a bomb ass hemp beat
the state where ya never find a dance floor empty
And pimps be on a mission for them greens
lean mean money-makin-machines servin fiends

Yeah, I'm in a West Coast mood today... West Coast Offense, that is.

Before I go on to a few non-Philly topics, let me share a few photos.

I hung out at Chickie's and Pete's in South Philly last night. They did a live TV show for Comcast Sports Net, and Jeff Garcia was one of the guests. Even though I did not get to meet him (they kept him back in the VIP area and only allowed certain people back there), I did get to meet his lady, the lovely Carmella DeCesare, and get a few pictures (I'm not sure what to call her now... I thought they were married, but I now read that they are just dating... hmmm). They were letting her be a part of the show as a reporter from the crowd. She's even better looking in person.

And because I like to share, here are a few photos for your enjoyment. Yes, I actually took these pics with the express purpose of sharing them here at LOV.

Why? Because I care, dammit!

Now... onto other things...

- You know, if we had the death pool running, this would have been a huge week. James Brown, now former President Gerald Ford. Names don't get much bigger than that.

Will there be a hat trick?

- Did I miss something with the White Sox? They traded Brandon McCarthy in a 5 player deal. I thought they traded Freddy Garcia to make room for McCarthy. Now McCarthy is gone for minor leaguers. Any White Sox fans out there willing to explain?

- AI... 28 points, 13 assists, first win as a Nugget yesterday.

Now, everyone is going to say "Gee, he passes a lot." And George Karl is actually encouraging him to shoot more and pass less.

Someone shoot me!

- So Tom Coughlin has stripped his offensive coordinator of his play calling duties, and has given them to his QB coach, Kevin Gilbride. Desperate move, isn't it?

Of course, I find it funny that they gave the play calling duties to someone that Buddy Ryan once punched in the mouth on national TV. And Buddy used to refer to Gilbride's offense in the Houston days as the "Chuck and Duck" offense.

Giants fans ought to enjoy that.

That's all I got for now. I actually have to do work today. WTF?

i'm on mental pause

so day after xmas, and all us are here,
not even some turkey, not even a beer.

this sucks and i hate it, but what can you do?
kill santa for sucking and smack your boss too.

i wished it had snowed some, i woulda called off!
but dat shit aint happ'nin, and my whining is lost..


**so probably the biggest story over the weekend was the Iggles boning Dallas. thanks Big D, for finally proving that your team is not anywhere near being elite, and doing it on a big stage. no better gift than seeing BitchTits and TO lose on xmas.

**dear NBC, eat a fat one. granted, Carrie Undercarriage is super hot, but showing her all the time and linking her to Tony Romo is retarded. did i tune in to f*cking Entertainement Weekly? are Al and John reading out of a smut mag to us? why do i care about who some cheeseball QB is dating? thank you for the shots of C.U., i swear i appreciated them to no end... but really, im glad you stopped short of showing her expression every time Romo got sacked. thank you for sparing us. and Al, nice try trying to prove that you dont know anything about American Idol. youre a tool. you dont have to watch it or be a fan, but you damn well know what the show is. trying to play the "you crazy kids and your music" stuff like an out of touch parent.. nice. hearing an announcer say "well i dont know anything about this.." and then telling a story is about the dumbest thing ever. youre supposed to be the one that at least SOUNDS informed. hell, that's why we're listening to you, right? so when they hand you the card, just read it. dont try to distance yourself from it and act like youre too cool for school. you read shameless plugs for NBC tv shows, why not some chick singer?

**speaking of nbc and shameless, since this is the stuff that helps ruin football broadcasts for me.. thanks again to NBC for having some retarded Dallas fans hold up a sign that promotes one of their dumb shows. sickening. and it wasnt just me, but even the non-football fan in the room pointed it out too. "let's throw to a crowd shot here... oh look, they just happen to be holding an NBC show sign!" bad enough we have to hear Al and John in the first place, but then to have Al fein like he's above reading tabloid gossip and listening to john choke a turkey down his fat throat... well, lets just say you helped put the Cool Whip on the pumpkin pie with the network plug. i hate you.

**the LA Lakers suck. D-wade gets mad calls, and pretty much everytime he touches it, it is a questionable travel. that said, he is by far the sickest player in the N'iba. makes his teammates better and just kills people when he wants/needs to. kobe, keep trying to be a big brother to your teammates, d-wade will keep winning.

**the FL/OSU hoops game was a massive waste of time in the first half. OSU needs someone to teach their team fundamentals. seriously, can your team play any sloppier? do they actually have an offensive set to run? and yes greg oden looks old as dirt. he looks like the big kid on the playground who just stomps the other kids out cause they havent hit puberty yet. wake me up when he has a good hand to shoot with though, then we'll see the real deal.

**there's apparently a pissing contest involving shaq and phil now. stop me if youve heard this before..

**im sure youve seen the amount of NFC teams that are still eligible for the playoffs. wow, you really cant say enough about the suckiness of the conference. seriously.

this is our country. and i want to slit its throat.

merry black tuesday. and tELl mE YOrU FAvoRiTe xmAS pReSEnt In tHE coMMEntS!!!111

Friday, December 22, 2006

Chestnuts are Roasting!!!!!

So Farve wins even though he threw two backbracking INT's. I can't imagine the front office or the head coach wanting this guy back next year. I mean I understand he is the Green Bay Packers but he really sucks now. And it's over. It's just over. Why can't he see that?

Today New Yorkers celebrate the 3rd anniversary of the Isiah Thomas Era. Fuck you.
But seriously, he did do some good things (David Lee, Frye, Q via trade) and Scott Layden was no better.

Byu put it on Oregon last night. I should have known the bet was bad as soon as the camera's showed former Wash St. star Ryan Leaf in attendence rooting for the Ducks and his brother.

Anyone going to see "We Are Marshall". Reviews are luke warm, but a quick side note I was listening to WFAN yesterday and some guy called in and said he was in the fraternity that lost 9 of the men in the crash. He told his story and broke down several times throughout. It was great radio.

Again, for the my Bowl picks you can get them here : Bowl Picks

As for my dismal record (60-76-2) ATS this year I'll pick every game on the slate for the next few weeks.
Just to see if I can swing the record over .500

KC -7 over Oakland:
Is Mrs. Brady Quinn, MD going to be a Raider or a Lion?
Pitts -3.5 over Ravens:
Ravens locked a p/off spot and Boller might start, no they are throwing this game *wink*.
Atlanta -6 over Carolina:
ATL has everything to play for, Carolina does not.
Chicago -5.5 over Detroit:
Despite what happened last week (Tampa), I still can't take Detroit.
Indy -9 over Houston:
Texans are bad. Indy looked real good Monday night.
NE +3 over Jacksonville:
I'll take the points, I know JAX is awesome at home. I think Brady treats this as a playoff game.
Tampa Bay +3 over Cleveland:
Rattay is the man!
Buffalo -4 over Titans:
It's fucking cold in Buffalo.
Redskins +2 over St. LOO:
Gibbs, rallying the troops for year end.
Zona +4 over San Fran:
People think San Fran won last week. They didn't. Seattle lost.
Denver -3 over Cincy:
Palmer looks hurt.
Seattle +4.5 over San Diego:
Time for S.D to stumble.
Philly +7 over Dallas:
Philly is really believing their own crap. Maybe they keep it close.
Miami -2 over NYJ:
Jest lay an egg. Again.

That is all.

Serious, everyone have a Merry XMAS. And to the Jews (I know it's late), hope you had Eight Crazy Nights. And Happy Kwanza to my nubian brothers.

Thursday, December 21, 2006


I'll keep this short, you got a long read for Rev's review of "Rocky Balboa". Just keep scrolling a bit past this.

So apparently, Iverson didn't actually demand a trade. He said he didn't like losing, and Billy King took that as he couldn't be in Philly any longer. I think this confirms what is already known...Billy King is a moron. I think it was Meiz that said that they have 3 first-rounders and they have to get 2 good players, even if by dumb luck. The Sixers have to be one of the few teams that could screw that up (see Knicks, Hawks).

Another lackluster Thursday night game...Minnesota at Green Bay. This whole Thursday night thing has pretty much been a disaster. All the games have been horrible, and most people in the country can't even watch it. If I had to pick, I'd take Minny at +3. I just want Farve to retire. Earlier this year when he and Clemens were seeing who could get the most attention, I just wanted to jab a fork in my eye.

For your viewing pleasure.

Per El Pad's orders:

Oregon +3.5 over BYU : Former BYU coach Gary Crowton knows BYU's personnel very well. And this will help coach Bellotti gameplan against star QB John Beck and that spread offense. OU tailback Jonathan Stewart figures to be big in this game with his ball control, pounding style of play.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Rocky Balboa review

So I'll throw this up here as a Wednesday night bonus. Perhaps this will carry over as Thursday's hotness. I'll leave that up to y'all. But I certainly encourage new hotness for Thursday (Freak, that means you). Or if you all want to use this as the starting point for 300 more comments, go nuts.

I just got back from the 7:35 showing of Rocky Balboa. Before I go on with the review, I'll fill you in on a few personal things with me regarding the Rocky series.

I'll admit this at the risk of being viewed as a bit of a sap. But then again, it's the Rev writing this. So that won't surprise you.

There is only one movie in the world that actually makes me feel emotional at the end. In fact, it damn near makes me want to cry. I don't know why it does, but I guarantee you it will get to me every time. I'm helpless against it.

That movie is the first Rocky.

Again, I have no idea. I've watched damn sad movies in my day, and I've watched much more emotional movies. Rocky is not a sad movie. It has a lot of emotion at the end, but there are far more emotional movies.

I can't explain it. And I will never try to explain it. It just hits home with me.

I won't say Rocky is my all-time favorite movie. I would put the Godfather above it. I would put Goodfellas up there. I'd put Shawshank Redemption there. And for years, I've always considered The Color of Money my favorite movie. I still do.

But none of those movies hit me like Rocky does. It's got a special category all to itself in my world. No other movie chokes me up like this. Go figure.

And we all know the theme song. And we all know when he runs up the steps. And to this day... chills! I still get them when I see it. Feel free to play this in another browser while reading this to get the feeling.

I never got to see Rocky in the theater or Rocky II. But I saw them on TV. And I saw Rocky's III, IV, and V in the theater. I actually liked V at first. At the time, it was 1994, I was in college in Boston, and a little homesick. So the opportunity to see Rocky V on the big screen and the fact that they brought it back to Philadelphia was a big deal to me. Now that I am older, I realize that it was far from cinematic genius. But I will still watch it. It's corny enough to be entertaining to me.

So that's my story. Now, here's my honest review.

Like most of you, when I originally heard he was doing this movie, I actually laughed too. I didn't think it was a good idea at all, and I thought he was silly for doing it. But I knew if it came out, I would go see it just because. And even if it was a train wreck, I would just write off those two hours of my life.

Well, I've given up thsoe two hours now. And I'll tell you what...

I liked it. I liked it a lot.

Maybe I am biased. But I tried to go into the movie with a mindset to judge it as much as I would any other movie. And to my surprise, it held it's own

Here's another opinion. My lady who didn't grow up surrounded by the Rocky hype like I did, but did eventually watch Rocky when she came to America, said after the movie tonight, "I'm surprised I liked it so much."

It's nowhere near as corny as the last three Rocky movies. In fact, a lot of it is a little sad. You really see the Rocky character in a different light for a good portion of the movie. He looks like a guy who's been beaten up over the years not only physically but by life as well. It's believable. And you feel for his character. Unlike V where they basically turned the Rocky character into more of a clown, they made him much more human this time.

There's a lot of reminiscing. And two former characters from the first Rocky reappear as important characters this time. You might not expect the ones who reappear. I'll leave it to you to see the movie. Of course, a few characters you would expect appear such as good ol' Paulie. Burt Young was made for that role. He still is.

I won't go heavily into plot. I'm assuming you basically know the premise. And I won't tell you how it ends.

I'll let you in on one small cameo... Skip Bayless has two lines in it. And he plays an asshole. Which means, he plays himself.

But I'm sure you want to know this much... how does the boxing scene look?

Again, surprisingly, that part of it is pretty good. They do the boxing scenes just like it was an HBO PPV. Larry Merchant and Jim Lampley play significant parts as the announcers with Max Kellerman. Michael Buffer has his part too. They use real referees and judges. They use all the HBO bells and whistles. It really looks like you are watching it on TV. The boxing itself looks pretty good. It's probably a little more violent than a real match. There are a few points where you think to yourself that in real life it would be stopped. But it goes on. Yet, it is pretty believable boxing action. Antonio Tarver is not much of an actor. But he does his job in the boxing scene.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it's the best movie of 2006. I'm not going to gush over it. I wouldn't expect you to take me seriously if I did that. But I'll tell you the truth. The movie is pretty good. It's not going to waste your life to go see it. In fact, I think you might like it if you give it a chance.

And watching it in a full theater in Philadelphia makes a big difference. Yes it's true. Philadelphia takes this movie series a little more seriously. There were many moments of audible cheering during the fights. When the movie began, the theater erupted. And at the end, it got a long ovation.

During the previews, the guys near me were yelling out Rocky lines. And not the easy lines like "Yo Adrian". They would rock out a line like "Yo, take her to the zoo! I hear retards like the zoo!"

Yeah, we're crazy in Philly.

And this might be the most telling thing about this movie for me. The music still gives me chills. They jazzed it up a bit with some saxophone. But it's still got that chill factor for me.

You do have to get over a couple of things. We are supposed to forget that Rocky was diagnosed with brain damage in V, yet in this movie he passes the doctors' tests to eventually get his license back. We are also supposed to believe that not only will an entire bar watch a computerized fight, but will cheer for it as well.

And yes, I do agree with SG that it does seem like many of the lines are a "cry for help" from Stallone. Yet, somehow, the fact that it seems like Stallone is saying these lines from his own heart like they apply to him as well makes the movie interesting to me. It's a unique look at him as well. A little corny a few times, yes. But in some spots of the movie it actually works well.

The reviews have been good for this movie. And it deserves the good reviews. Go see it with my blessing.

I'm all out of love... I'm so lost without you...

Yeah, I quoted Air Supply in the title. You got a fuckin problem with that?

And maybe I do know all the words. Just kiss my rosy red Reverend ass if you don't like it!

All y'all ma'fuggas in trouble now! I'm ready to go on a rant and a half tonight. I'm talking about 8 mouse scrolls on this sumbitch. Oh yeah! It's on, bitches!

(pausing to breathe, and take a shot of scotch)

OK, I'm calmed down now. I just had to write those things to let off some steam. I promise, I'll keep this to a few scrolls.

So I spent 12 hours today with the boss and a bunch of other guys moving a bunch of furniture in and out of the office. We got new carpet, new desks, new everything. It sucked, but I got a free lunch out of the deal and even a Christmas gift from the boss of some cold hard cash, so that didn't suck.

But here's what did suck. I was completely sheltered from the world throughout the day. No e-mail, no internet, no media whatsoever.

You know what that meant? You all were here making fun of my ass all day behind my back, which I enjoyed catching up on later at 11 pm, thank you very much. No really, I actually liked that.
Oh by the way... I hate Air Supply, though I did slow dance with a chick in 6th grade to one of their songs. Whitney Houston has about three songs I like, and ain't none of them slow (really, I only like those songs cause her ass looked cute in the videos back when she was actually hot). I don't know all the words to any Barenaked Ladies song, but I kinda liked that song about a million dollars. Just clearing that all up.
And... you all were talking about the Allen Iverson trade at 3:48 pm without me.

Know when I found out about the trade? About 7 pm.

And that was only because I managed to sneak a peek at the net while the boss was in the other room. He came in shortly thereafter, and I had to abort. I didn't even get a chance to click on and see what we got until about 8 pm.

This being under a rock all day thing sucks. I feel so Amish.

So I'm back at 11 pm and figuring you all are expecting my take on the whole thing. Or maybe you don't give a rat's ass. But I'll tell you anyway.

You know what pisses me off the most about the trade? January 2nd... that's the one game the Sixers have left against the Nuggets. And it's in Denver. We don't even get to have the big return game for Iverson in Philly until next season.

My God! I just realized the next time Allen Iverson plays a game in Philadelphia, I'll be married. How the fuck did that scenario happen?

Anyway... Andre Miller is a half-decent player who is now stuck. Joe Smith sucks ass. The two draft picks are interesting. It might make Philly a major trade player in the offseason when they clear some cap room and they have three first rounders to play with in the next draft.

But the Sixers are dead to me this season. Maybe next year I'll get back into it. Maybe not. Maybe we will suck for about three years straight.

Let's just say I won't be throwing down for any Sixers jerseys in quite some time. But a Denver Iverson jersey???

No, can't do it. Light blue is not my color.

I would have loved that Clippers trade. I could have rocked a Clippers Iverson in 2x. I really could have.

I got nothing else right now. I'm tired as all hell. I'll be back to my normal commenting self as much as I can and you all can make fun of my ass while I'm around again. Consider this your Wednesday hotness, posted early and ribbed for her pleasure.

5 more days until Xmas, and the Sixers just shit in our stockings. God bless us every freakin one!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

"Its been one week since you looked at me..

Cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry.."

so one week proves to us that the Colts can actually score again, the Bengals apparently can't, and yet both teams are basically still pretenders at this point. Colts D plays solid for one week, and they'll probably get bobbed on. they still have mad issues, and i dont think anyone is fooled. nice gameplan by the Bengies. they must want Indy to clich ASAP.

i think the biggest underlying problem here is that for as amazing a player as Peyton is (even if youre a hater, you can at least respeck' him), they have done nothing for him on the defensive side. you have some good individual players, and even on paper it seems like they should at least be decent, but they are a siv. swiss cheese up in this mofo'. swell. that'll win ya a super bowl.

but anyways..

so yesterday TO got nailed with a $35G fine. sean taylor got 17,500 last year for his playoff game loogie, but TO gets double. hmm. also, a detail that everyone seems to be glossing over is that i believe they havent even seen the incident on camera. they just seems to have based the fine off of TO simply saying that he did it. this is the league trying to "set a standard" or something now. maybe theyre taking it a bit further this time due to the basketbrawl. or maybe theyre finally just out to get TO. and maybe they are.. but i'm fine with that. this dude deserves everything they can throw at him. what an ass pony.

speaking of the nfl being Billy Bad Ass on suspensions and fines.... remember that Detroit Lions asst coach that was drunk and naked when he rolled through a late-night drive-thru? yeah, well the league finally suspended him for the Bears game this week. i guess the one game that the team immediately suspended him for didnt matter. way to hop RIGHT on that though, Commish. incase you were wondering, yes, this incident happended back in freaking September. this was in preseason. now we're at the end of the season. thanks for getting right on top of it.

random baseball news.. the Yanks, not to be outdone by the Saux, have signed some Ching Ming Wong lefthander. yeehaw. and folks, please dont sit near the edges.. you will be the first to fall off when the (asian import) bandwagon breaks. move to the inside (you'll thank me later). and didn't we already go through this once? well, now we're going top dollar on them apparently.

im done, and im going to pistol whip you now.

and as we inch closer to bowl season kick off, this comes courtesy of Senor El Padrino:

TCU -12 over NIU : TCU's two losses come via Utah and BYU. They were early in the season and the have rolled since. NIU's star back Garret Wolfe will need to have a monster game in order to beat the Horned Frogs. I think TCU will neutralize him when it counts and I think they come out on top.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Weekend Recap

And away we go....

I had an encounter with a scorpion over the weekend, first one in quite sometime. I was dropping a deuce and noticed it crawling across the floor. Nothing the bottom of a Lysol can and lighter couldn’t handle though. Oh yea, first sentence has a deuce reference, I smell a good week, pun intended.

Perhaps the biggest story of the weekend was the Nuggets/Knicks brawl. Apparently the real Zeke was putting out hits on people. And for as “thugged” out as the NBA is, why can’t anyone land a solid punch?

Speaking of boxing, did anyone see Boxing After Dark on HBO on Saturday? There were two quality KO’s. One dood was jumping around like a fish out of water after a 1st round punch. I love shit like that.


I don’t get the constant uproar after another of TO’s antics. You hear people say how they’re sick of him yet when he does something stupid it gets another round of publicity. Spitting in a guys face is pussy shit, we all know that, do we need all the guys on Countdown to tell us this? Anyone see the Simpsons Halloween episode where the billboards and company statue advertisements came alive and wrecked shit? And the only way to kill them was to not pay attention – I say this needs to be the solution to TO, just don’t look.

Oh, and I think the Eagles won yesterday, although I couldn’t tell by Rev’s 73 comments and emergency post after the game. I’ll look into it.

For those keeping score at home – Yul, from the Asian tribe, wins Racist Survivor. I thought the jury questions were lame and devoid of hate, quite a disappointing end.

Alright this is all I got today.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Sunday night posting...

I'm putting this up because for some reason, the comments got disabled on the last posting. I have no idea why. But they got disabled just as the Eagles were putting the last nail in the Giants' coffin. So I'm posting this to keep the conversation going.

My God, that was an amazing win! The Giants needed payback... and we gave it to them!

Thank God for Eli Manning. I'm so glad he's the Giants QB right now. I counted on him to do something to make sure the Eagles won at the end, and he didn't let me down.

Jeff Garcia... he's not pretty. But he's just won 3 straight. No, I never thought I'd see that either.

And ElP... I'll take 3 sesame bagels, 3 poppy bagels, 3 cinnamon raisin bagels, and the rest I will leave to your good graces.

AHHHHH... the sweet taste of victory! B-A-G-E-L-S... BAGELS!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I see some ladie's tonight, that should be having my baby, babaayy!

Seattle get's bitch-slapped at home. Saw the game at a bar last night. Seattle sucks. The weather sucks. No wonder Cobain killed himself. Between the Seattle thing he had that wreck of a woman as his wife.

Porter gets fined 10K for calling Winslow a homo.

Magic lose to Bobcats and cost me a new pair of wingtips.

Tank Johnson shoots his gun off then realizes it's illegal.

Matsuzaka takes over Boston.

The stripper gave birf to a baby. The one in the Duke case. No DNA match any member of the team, BTW.

Cowboy's New Stadium

Maybe a sensored remote controller isn't the greatest idea?WII

Rev, little wager on the big Giant-Eagle game this Sunday? Maybe if the Giants win you can send me Iverson.

NFL - no more amounts, switching it up (superstitious) 58-70-2

Cheifs +9 over CHARGERS
Why not? Cheifs are desperate for a AFC win. Their long beloved owner just died. Herm can motivate a peanut to do a backflip. I smell a "win one for the gipper". At the least, throw me the cover.

VIKES -2 over Jets
Best run defense in the league. And since the Jets don't have a running game that means they have to rely on Pennington and his pop warner arm. Nyet! Not in that noisy Metrodome.

Dolphins +1 over BILLS
Fins continue the hot December in chilly Orchard Park.

Some easy one's that need no explaining:
PATS -11.5 over Texans - Angry Brady
RAVENS -11.5 over Browns - Shutout


PACK vs Lions (43) : OVER
BILLS vs Finis (34) : UNDER

Just Teasin'
PATS +.5
Fins +13
Ravens +.5
Rams +14.5

Hi Bill.

holdover hotness

(Served by Martin...)

Stepping up to da plate.

JFreak I got your back. You organized the pick ‘em challenge so it’s all good.

Lamar Hunt dead at 74. Led the AFL-NFL merger and came up with the name “Super Bowl.”

Peter Boyle dead at 71. Pop locked as Young Frankenstein and delivered mucho hate as Ray Romano’s television dad.

WWL says Heat have interest in A.I.

RIP the heat. I think AI could work in Boston or Minnesota. He and one other superstar ego should be able to mesh. Throw him in Miami though and you will see how a team can score 80 with zero assists. Walker, Williams, Peyton, Shaq (for 35 games), Wade, and AI. Come on. Everybody saw what happened with the Lakers and their super squad. They got it handed to them by D town. All those players are great but throw them together and it’s every man for himself.

Riley is a good coach. He got the Alpha Dogs to play great for a season. Throw one more in the kennel and it’s DMX’s house on a basketball court. Now I’m kind of pulling for this to happen just to see how it pans out. Truthfully I would like to see him in Boston alongside of the Truth. But it’s been 20 years since the last Celts title. They wouldn’t win another one soon with AI on the ship. Maybe Miami can get him and keep their other ego’s for comedy’s sake.

Iam's note:
picture for header. boom pow surprise.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Just because...

Philadelphia Held Hostage... Day 5

They said they wanted to have a trade done yesterday. They did not get one done.

So now, the city of Philadelphia, or at least the ones who still care about our basketball team, get to sit and wait. Sixers fans are being held hostage while they wait for the other shoe to drop.

Allen Iverson now has not only apparently said he does not want to go to Charlotte, he now has apparently made it clear that Northern California is not to his liking either. So no go for Sacramento or Golden State.

He apparently does want to go to Indiana, Denver, Boston, or Minnesota. So we got that going for us. Which is nice.

No, he doesn't have a no trade clause. But it seems that his simple dislike of going to a team is enough to get a trade killed on the grapevine. Some teams just don't want to deal with his griping.

Everything that people used to tell me about him is finally coming true. And it's not like I didn't believe them when they said he would eventually kill this team. But each time something came up in the past, it would eventually be solved and put away. Then he would go out on the court and amaze us with his play again. It happened so many times in the past.

This time it's really happening for good. And I just want it to be over with so I can see what the new look Sixers will look like.

Because I'll tell you this right now... the Sixers current look with Chris Webber leading the charge is not looking good to me. I'd rather watch the Knicks and Celtics play than this Sixers team right now. And that's pretty sad.

Alright... I promised myself this would not be a totally Philly column. So let me grab a few more headlines...

- So the Dallas Cowboys' new $1 billion stadium will apparently keep the hole in the roof, but it will add in a retractable closing for that hole if needed. That was the big news out of Big D.

So when they announced the stadium design yesterday at a press conference, they showed a video to those assembled comparing the new stadium to such architectural wonders as the Egyptian Pyramids and the Colisseum in Rome.

Jesus H Christ... could that team be more full of themselves? Next thing you know, Jerry Jones will start asking people to refer to him as Napoleon.

- So after paying $51.1 million just to talk to the guy, the Red Sox go in and low ball Daisuke Matsuzaka. They're offering $8 million a year for 6 years while agent/asshat Scott Boras is trying to get $11 million a year for 6 years.

Now, we can have the debate whether this guy is worth $11 million a year, and I might be inclined to see both sides of any argument. We don't know what he's really worth yet. But I also look at it this way... if you're willing to throw 50 million plus up front just to get in the door, now is not the time to play cheap.

The Red Sox think the $51.1 million should be taken into consideration for a lower deal. But not one dollar of that is going to the player. So it really shouldn't.

Yeah, maybe I'm defending an overly greedy player, or maybe more of an overly greedy agent when the pitcher in question hasn't done one thing in MLB. But I look at it this way too... Gil Meche got $11 million a year for 5 years in this market at age 28, and he never won more than 15 games and had two years with an ERA over 5. Ted Lilly got $10 million a year for 4 years at age 30, and he's a career .500 pitcher with an ERA lifetime at 4.60.

Datsuzaka is 26. He obviously has big-time ability if you're giving up that much money just to talk to him. I think he's probably worth more than Lilly or Meche.

Why go through all of this if you were going to low ball him?

The Red Sox will look like the biggest asshats of the year if they don't sign him.

Of course, Scott Boras is the same guy who convinced the Rangers that Chan Ho Park was worth $65 million over 5 years. So maybe I see the Red Sox's point.

That's all I got. I think it's a B- at least.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Rex Manning, Superstar Extraordinaire

-well Rexy didnt choke and lose his job, so i guess that's a plus. in other news, Devin Hester can run fast while holding an leather ball.

-how do u (intend to) drop $50 million for the chance to simply OFFER a contract to a player, and then low-ball him? Boras in the house though.. you know he'll snag his guy a deal. too much of a cash cow to let him swim back home.

-tag team back again. new-old ball, it's coming back. Emperor Stern's Reich has decided to change back to the old leather rock mid-season. setting a triumphant return to an arena near you on new years day. yippee. maybe the Suns will score 200 with the regular ball? i would classify them as having tremendous point upside potential. can this be the Dikembe Mutombo theory? (as a fellow G-town guy) i dont know what the theory would be, but there's one lurking. Bill, get on that will ya?

"Our players' response to this particular composite ball has been consistently negative and we are acting accordingly," Stern said in a statement.

so basically what youre telling me is that if all the players whine enough, they can still get things changed? i thought they gave up on the dress code thing kinda early. they were weak with their battle. they shoulda stood up for their right to wear Karl Kani. what's next? telling you no ipods and to tuck in your shorts? slavery!!1111wun!!

how do u feel if youre Spalding? kind of shitty pub' for your company. better luck next time.

-i think the Suns have caught onto this "putting the ball in the basket" thing.

-dennis erickson... arizona state. he used to coach in a pro league, right? ah how the mighty have fallen.

-dear philly, trade AI and get some players STAT. you just lost to the Trailblazers.

-some retard car driver broke his hand after falling off a golf cart. nice lie to begin with though. "my buddy took a corner hard and i fell out of the car". hmm, cause that sounds more reasonable than "i was goofing around and got hurt, im a bonehead".

shut your mouth and get back to work...

eat one Bill.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Happy Holidays!

I’m all about internet shopping for the Holidays. I see no need in feeding the hysteria that is holiday shopping. Malls and shopping centers should be avoided at all costs in the month of December. So what happens Saturday? I get roped into going to a shopping center – albeit under the guise of watching a movie and getting a bite to eat – not shopping.

Here’s what I encountered within the first five minutes of driving around the place:

1) Narcolepsy Guy – this is the guy that falls asleep at the 3 way stop entrance to the shopping center. Of course he is at the head of your line. This guy (or probably woman) gets confused or panics and misses their turn at least two times.

2) Impatient Guy – This is the guy who at the 3 way stop refuses to play nice. Instead of waiting his turn he has to double up. Seeing that someone has not turned in their allotted time, he tries to capitalize on the hesitation and barges ahead.

3) When you finally traverse the intersection you’re in the parking lot, then you come across, the Turtle. This is the guy who drives incredibly slow trying to find the perfect spot or his Alzheimer’s is acting up and he’s lost. This guy is letting people turn in front of him and is causing a 10 car pileup behind him. Just find a spot asshole.


1) The Vigilante. They’ll cross whenever and however they feel like it. This person just blasts right in front of you with no warning.

2) Preoccupied guy : This person is probably on their celly or talking with the person next to them and either totally disregards you or acts like they don’t see you – and they will cut in front of you regardless.

3) The Human Shield : This is usually the mommy who uses their toddler and/or baby stroller as a shield to abruptly cut in front of you. This is parent of the year material.

4) The Slow Walker : As you’re going down an aisle trying to find a spot, there is always some asshole who found a spot before you and is walking to a store. Instead of getting to the side and letting you pass, they walk down the middle of the aisle and don’t move. Fuck you buddy.

Like I said, I encountered all of these lovely people within five minutes of being in the shopping center, and I got cut off by a cop. Happy Holidays everyone!

I did get to see Apocalypto however. Like whoa. This movie is a more violent, South American version of Braveheart. I enjoyed it.

Sports Recap:

1) AI – I can’t wait to see how this plays out, reportedly within the next few days.
2) Troy Smith, Heisman – QB of #1 team all season. Not an inspired choice, but when you consider Chris Wienke and Jason White won Heismans, this selection doesn’t seem so bad. And Quinn, MD. got 3rd, that’s justice.
3) LDT – ball dips Alexander’s record with 3 to play. That boy is bad.
4) Indy – I think I could have run for at least 50 yds yesterday on them.
5) The Pats get shut-out, you stay classy Bill B.
6) The Cardinals beat Seattle, sun shines on a dog’s ass some days.
7) NO COMPLETELY ball dips Dallas, at Dallas. I was very surprised by this. Impressive.
8) The Suns have run off 10 straight.

I'll take a C+ Monday.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

12 Angry Men


Medical malpractice, can't say much but basically old lady checked into hospital, old lady fell, old lady died. We decide if old ladies' kid's get mula. Boring and yeah my boss is pissed but hey....I didn't volunteer for this shit. It's mad boring. The plaintiff's lawyer is a stumblin' bumblin' fool. Judge is ripping him apart, other lawyer is objecting him up the ass. Good times.

In case your wondering I will be handicapping every bowl game. First one I believe is Dec. 19th. So sometime before then.

Anyone check out the NJ/PHX game last night? 161-157, PHX.
318 total points.... Nash had 80 assists.

Bonds. Giants. 16MM. 21 shy of Hank. This is really happening.

Hi Bill.

Colts -1.5 over JAGS:
Losing two in a row? I understand the Jags are stout at home but, 2 in a row is a stretch. I smell a big Ricky Proehl catch. ($50)

MIAMI +3.5 over New England:
NE always, always have a tough go putting up points against the Fish. Take the home points. ($25)

Seattle -3 over ARIZONA:
Maybe the Rams suck. Maybe this is a tough team to figure out. Maybe I'm a mush but you have got to respect Seattle's game the past two weeks. They showed some toughness last week in Denver. This is my 5 star lock of the week. ($50)

Titans +1 over Texanz
Stop. VY back in the building. ($50)

Oakland AT Cincy + over 39: Bengals rout at home, scoring most of the points.

Just Teasin':
Baltimore +15
Giants +14.5
New Orleans +19
Miami +15.5

Let it Snow

First snow of the year here in Indy. Makes you want to curl up with your honey and drink hot chocolate. Mmmm...Christmastime. Don't know what it is about this time of year, but it sure feels good.

Bunch of baseball news happening. We'll hit them quickly.

Jason Schmidt to the Dodgers. Schmidt makes up for the loss of Maddux. That pitching staff's gonna be pretty good. Can't remember any of their names, but they were pretty good last year.

Gonzo and Lieberthal too. Gonzo's power numbers have been down, but he's a good clubhouse guy. I'm pretty surprised the D-backs let him go. Douchebacks maybe? Lieberthal seems like a solid backup at catcher.

White Sox trade away Freddy Garcia for someone I've never heard of to the Phillies. If I'm Rev, I'm pretty happy about this Garcia deal. He'll be a number 1 or 2, really help bolster the staff.

Ted Lilly signs with the Cubs. First move of the offseason I really don't like by the Cubs. That's a whole bunch of money to spend on someone who's career record is one game over .500.

A's acquire Piazza. Finally Piazza makes the move to DH. I doubt he'll be nearly as successful as Thomas was last year. All I can really think of now is when he was back with the Mets and everyone thought he was gay. Whatever happened to that rumor?

Thursday is the first day you can smell football. You shouldn't be able to see it. These Thursday games are crap. Bryant Gumble is a complete moron and Collingsworth is only slightly better. Plus, I'm one out of like 3 people here who can actually see it. (Yay premium cable). But Cleveland at Pittsburgh? Only way I'm watching it is if someone ties me down or Rothelishbereqriuiger gets another concussion.

Yes, I brought the weak sauce.

Hey Billy!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

New Hotness

- Frst of all, let me be the first to say that the NFL is being a bunch of dicks.

Hollis Thomas suspended for asthma medication.

Even after a note from a doctor saying he has to take an inhaled steroid for his asthma is brought out to a hearing, the league looked at it, nodded it's collective head at it, and still suspended him anyway.

Really, I can't stress this enough. The NFL needs a big collective ball dip on this one. The man needs medication to function. And you're going to suspend him for that? What a collection of douchebags.

Next thing they'll tell me is that you can't dance in the endzone with the ball.

- You know, I like the Red Sox a lot. I really do.

But now that they've signed JD Drew, it's going to be a little harder for me to like them. JD Drew is an ass.

And now that they overpaid for Julio Lugo, they're looking more and more like teams that overpay for players like the Mets and Orioles.

And if they lose Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz will be walked 346 times this season.

I think Theo Epstein has lost his mind.

- Somewhat of a WTH, mild level 1...

Let's just say I won't be eating at any Taco Bells in the Philly area for a while.

- I'm still spent from the Monday night game. I can't tell you how awesome that was to experience live. I'll throw out one more story here.

Yeah, we booed a lot. Or at least my fellow fans did. I'm one of the few Philly fans that reserves my boos for the other team. However, I do like throwing out witty insults to my own team after things go wrong.

Case in point... I don't know how many of you remember the play where Brian Westbrook suddenly lined up at QB with the Eagles having a first down at the Carolina 12. It was after a big play, and we were all stoked. Then someone yells in my section, "Holy shit! Westbrook is in at QB!"

We all get excited. Something big is about to happen, we think.

Then Westbrook takes the shotgun snap, and runs... for one yard.

Everyone in my section went into dumbfounded silence. But I remember yelling out loud, "What the hell was that for?" I'm pretty sure the whole section heard me. I was that loud.

Really... you put in Westbrook as the QB in a shotgun, you expect something different than a one yard run. What is the point?

I cracked up everyone within a few rows of me when I yelled out seconds later... "Hey Andy, I'm available to quarterback the next play if you want."

I think if you saw me, you would appreciate the irony and humor of that statement. But you had to be there for the timing.

That's all I got. Rev... OUT!

Monday, December 04, 2006

here we are face to face, a couple of silver spoons

well life is life and we cant change that. UM got jobbed, auburn got jobbed even more a couple years back.. FL got a gift (the "you already had your shot" reasoning shouldve turned into a "you shoulda beat Auburn if you wanted your shot" rebuttle), but alas.. we are left holding the pieces of what should be an easy NCAA hoops solution that would satisfy everyone.. the playoffs. this will inevitably change, due to the massive outcry. but we all get to bitch about it for 4 more years, cause the contract is locked up. and too many people are getting their money (colleges, sponsors, cities that host the bowls) for the real fans, players and common sense to get in the way. 'most probable solutions' be damned. kinda like how OSU only had 1,000 tickets for their own students. boosters/sponsors/anybody else that funds The Cause was picked ahead of them. students be damned as well, cause Lawrence and Buffy are going in your place. glad you enjoyed coming to all the games and hollering your little hearts out, now take your candy asses back to the dorms while mommy and daddy Warbucks get to go to the game instead. oh, and theyre taking their 8 yr old spawn with em.. ya know the little brat that's gonna get on TV a ton of times while screaming "number 1" into the camera? yeah, he's taking your spot. or maybe theyll just chill in their luxury box, eating cheese and crackers, and washing it down with free booze while not paying any attention to the game. either way, you had your chance. you shoulda found a way to get tickets. too bad. enjoy the community tv in the frat house.

but this controversy will rage on for at least another 4-5 more weeks and all the talking heads will rage on.. but it's been decided, and we are all stuck with it. so that is that.


my next haterous moment comes at the expense of pro ath-uh-leets. we all realize that half, or even most, of these guys would be cleaning the urinal you use at work, but because they can bounce a ball or run with a ball really well, we're left squeezing out a life of bill paying while the Spreewells of the world try to make ends meet while collecting the mid-level exception.

so i see that D-wade was named SI's sportsman of the year or something. now im not picking out d-wizzle, cause he actually seems halfway intelligent, unlike someone like lebron (i loves bass-et-bawl!), or kobe (the O.J. of the nba, getting away scott-free). so what would these cats be doing if not for sports? would they be just another junkie on the streets, would they be boardroom execs, would they have made some great contribution to society, or would they run drugs and killed "narcs" like the people that Carmelo hangs out with ("i swear i dont condone that type of activity").

so what would your favorite player be doing if he/she wasnt in their current profession? tAle mE iN THe ComMEntz SexSHun!

let's just admit that most nba players would be in a rappers' entourage in a heartbeat. what would you do if you were 6'8" 250 and could bench a Vietnamese family? i dont know, maybe be a stock broker?? own a farm in nebraska? maybe be on tv and add even more ghettoness to ESPN like Mike Hill (i think thats his name)? "yee bro, keeps it ruhl, keep it poppin, we caints waits for you to be back flossin on espnews bra, pace! word, dirty"

i kid you not, that was pretty much the exchange between host and guest on espnews at about 530/6pm when they had some wide receiver on there. freakin terrible tv to watch. gimme Wilbon and Cornhole. hell, give me Joey T rather than that crap.

i think about a quarter (half if we're really stretching it) of pro league players would be able to land a real job if their league disbanded today. actually all of them would land jobs because of who they are, so i guess just imagine if they never were athletes, what type of skills they would have, or what jobs they would get. i think there is a top portion of educated guys mixed in with a bunch of walking barbells.

so in other words, i WILL take fries with that.

hater in the house.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

CFB is dead to me.....

Until they get a playoff.


Now I know how Auburn fans feel.

I won't watch a minute of CFB until there is a playoff.

The Harris Poll results are interesting. The Gaytors worst rank was a 5, UM had a lot of 3's and 4's. Some moron had SC still at 3! This is what is used to determine the finalists! Yikes.

I'd be ok with the Gaytors getting the nod if people really felt they were the #2 team. Yet all the arguments you hear in their favor, or rather against UM is "they had their shot" and "we don't want a rematch". I haven't heard one valid argument against Michigan. Fuck, Gary Danielson and Verne Lundquist, the announcers for the SEC Championship, were openly politicking for Florida. The only person who I heard even make a case for sanity was Herby. Everyone had already crowned Florida. So now the SEC is even, this makes up for Auburn. Now the Big 10 is owed. I hope UM gets to collect. And take note, with this system your team will get screwed somehow eventually.

I don't think UM got a fair deal. And what do they get? A matchup with a 2 loss team in their hometown! Awesome! I wanna see Lloyd Carr raise some hell or they need to boot his ass out. File a lawsuit. Get on every national stage you can and call out the system. Refuse to play. Call out Urban Crier because he obviously campaigned better than you. Call Crier a fag, call FLA a bunch of monkeys, do something Lloyd. Don't just sit back and enjoy getting raped.

I'm not saying the Gaytors are completely undeserving. They are a good team. Yet all you hear all year is how the SEC is the greatest conference in all the land. Riiiiight. I guess if you say it loudly and long enough people will just accept it as fact. Florida will get beaten badly vs OSU. I really hope OSU throttles them. Florida has to win the game to validate their selection. Anything less and they should be considered underserving pussies. OSU is a very good team. Chris Leak will end his career in tears. And don't mention Teeball.

And the rest of the BCS matchups suck. ND vs LSU!!!!!!!! Ok so we get to see ND get spanked one mo gain? Okla/Boise! Wake Forest/Louisville! And that one fag on Louisville who was offsides on the Rutgers kick should be on suicide watch.

That's all the recap I got. Call me whatever you want but don't call me a CFB fan anymore.

Friday, December 01, 2006


Bengals find a way just like I said.

Mamba drops 52, 12th time he's gone over 50.

Doesn't this kid know that XMAS time is coming, WTF.

Long-whoria and Parker are engaged. Whoever has Parker in FFB trade him now. We all know that pussy conquers all.

I really hate the Giants right now. They all make me sick. The coach, the RB star, the DE star, the WR star and the overated QB star. Being a fan of them is not easy right now. With that said....if they beat the Cowboys they will be in first place and they will be sportin' a 4-0 division record. So for now, I have no choice but to root for them. They remind me of the Bonilla Mets but since the Bonilla Mets sucked like something fierce it's a little different.

Wish I could talk more but I got a 9:15 meeting. Fucking ridiculous. I'm going to mention in the meeting that it is Friday and whoever did this will pay.

($25 across the board)

Ark +3 over U F : We can put those "Florida won 11 games this year in the SEC" talk to bed. They have been due for a loss for about 4 weeks now. I think they get to Leak and if they do that, I render him pretty useless.

Sooners -3.5 over Nebraska : I say the Stoops/Callahan matchup favors Oklahoma. I know Callahan has those kids playing well but OU has too much talent to lose this game for all the Big 12 marbles.

Gtech -2 over Wake Forest : Forget the fact that they have no one to stop Calvin Johnson but focus on Reggie Ball and how well he is going to rebound from a pathetic game last week. And with pretty much the same rosters last year Tech won pretty big. Nice story about Wake though. It's good for college football when other programs compete for titles.

(shitty week, shitty lines, shitty games for the most part)

RAMS -6 over Cards : I've been waiting for the Rams to blow out the last 3 weeks. They haven't. I'll try one more time. But mainly I think Haslett knows they can't run the ball so I have a feeling he is going to be busy all day celebrating his numerous blitz packages en route to harassing rookie Matt on Sunday. ($50)

BRONCOS -3 over Seahawks : Even if Plummer started I would put a 5bone on them. Seahawks may be back at full stregnth but Denver is hungry for a win right now. Get ready for a week of annointment for Shanahan and his QB switch move after this big Sunday night win. ($50)

Colts -7 over TITANS : I know the Titans always play the Colts tight. But are the Titans even focused after that big win over the G-men last week? They might still be whopping it up. I predict a 38-7 trashing in Nashville this week. ($100)

Two upsets (each for $25):

BROWNS +5 over Chiefs : Herm always has a big letdown game in him. Always.
PACKERS +1.5 over Jets: I love me a good homedog. Pack are due for a win, Jets are due for a setback.

Just Teasing ($150)

Falcons +14, as WAS never blows anything out
Giants +15.5 as NFC East games are usually decided by less than 10 points
SAINTS/Niners over 33 as both teams can score (Saints might put up 33 by themselves)
Dolphins +11, as the battle for Florida will be decided by Mare or Scobee

Trying to bolster the 54-60-2 record, for the record.

Hi Bill.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino