Thursday, November 09, 2006

Scarlett Knight's, Holy Knight's

Rutgers! Gator fans rejoice! USC fans go crazy! Cal fans jump up! Auburn fans go nuts!

All Rutgers did was ensure that a one loss team will be in the national title game.
Even if Rutgers beats WVU (tough) in three weeks does not cement their chance at a national title shot. It does give them a BCS bowl (which is tremendous for them $$) but no way do they play opposite O. State or Michigan. Those 4 teams I mentioned above have the best shot at it. All they have to do is win out. USC is my front runner if they win out because they got 4 pretty tough games left including a tilt with Cal. Florida is my close second choice. Also don't forget the Boise St. Broncos are also undeafeated. BCS officials I am sure are squirming.

In other news Craig Biggio has signed a one year deal with the Astros. His only clause was that they keep Geritol on tap in the clubhouse.

Suns are 1-5, I am sure the city of Phoenix is thinking, "NO, NOOOOO, please God don't take our basketball team away too!!!"

As for my WTF, with a toungue in cheek I say At Least They Can't Pro-Create

El Pad is 45-41-1 heading into week 9......

College:

AUBURN (-12.5) over Georgia
Georgia stinks this year. Let's call a spade a spade. If there is any arguement at all at whether or not the SEC is overrated (for the record it is, slightly) it could be that every year there is one team in the SEC that is overrated. And that team this year is Georgia. ($50)

Vols (+5.5) over ARKANSAS
Who knows which Vol team will show up? This team has looked great and has looked bad at times. But after last week's loss to LSU I think they will put a nice game together and prevent Arkansas from going to the Georgia Dome to face those Gators in the chmpionship game. ($25)

LSU (-18) over Alabama
After that great road win the fans will be treating these Tigers mighty well. I expect LSU to cruise here. ($50)

Pros:

BENGALS (+1) over Whale's Vagina
This bet might shock you but the Bengals at 4-4 are in "must start winning" territory here.
Also, Marty is bound to blow at least one game on the road this year. You know, he's got to warm up for the playoffs. ($50)

DETROIT (-5) over San Fran
I rode San Fran last week because I am a smart bettor. It's the same reason that I'm going against them this week. San Fran hasn't played two bad games in a row and they haven't played two good games in a row. Detroit's O is finally taking some shape. ($100)

NEW ENGLAND (-10.5) over Jets
Poor Jets. They get a angry Patriot team that hasn't lost two games in a row dating back to like 1999 or something like that. Brady is coming off one of his worse performances too. 10 points is alot in the NFL but the Jets are really up against it this week.

Baltimore (-7) over TITANS
I don't think Billick is Lombardi but his team is playing very well right now and McNair back in Tennessee is the storyline. I'm sure he is yearning to show what they are missing. Next week he'll go back to sucking though so don't worry. ($50)

OVER 39 - Green Bay At Minnesota
I don't really have much of an explanation to this so just roll with it. ($35)

Just Teasing (9-1 so far on these)
($200)

COLTS (pick em') over Bills
K.C (+11) over MIAMI
Saints (+16.5) over Pittsburgh
JAX (+2) over Texans

371 comments:

1 – 200 of 371   Newer›   Newest»
Isiah Thomas said...

solid post EP, good way to kick of this friday.

Rutgers, no doubt a great win, but a #15 team beating #3 at home is that really shocking? Taking into the historical ineptitude of Rutgers I guess it is. I think ESPN is overdoing it again. We get it espn, we get it.

Isiah Thomas said...

USC has 4 tough games left against Cal, Oregon, UCLA and ND. If they run the table they get the 2nd bid to the title game. Good call again EP.

Isiah Thomas said...

re: Suns

The only "easy" team they've played has been Utah and Utah is everyone's darling to sneak into the playoffs this season. Plus they've had 3 sets of back-to-backs to start the year.

I've watched almost every minute of their games. The look out of shape. I don't think their overseas training camp helped them out at all. Adding new facess, setting new rotations and incorporating Amare has slowed this team.

But they've been ahead most games, although they've blown big leads. I think they'll be fine. They have an easier road for the rest of the month, if they are under .500 by the end of Nov then we can revisit.

Isiah Thomas said...

Also, I've been doing terrible in my office confidence pool the last 3 weeks. Might post my picks for advice.

Los said...

What are the chances that they do a rematch in the title game between Michigan and Ohio State?

Isiah Thomas said...

I think slim to none. Pollsters would drop Michigan to 10 if they lose.

El Padrino said...

zeke i'm a master handicapper
post em'

usc, yeah thanks-- those are tough games, espeacialyl against CAL who would get crazy BCS points if they beat SC.

Suns will turn it around...SG is right about one thing,the Marcus Banks signing was a little dumb

ToddPacker said...

all SEC college picks...interesting, i agree with 2 of the 3. i think UGA hangs with Auburn...maybe even wins the game...just a gut feeling

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

White And Nerdy

ToddPacker said...

if florida, auburn, usc and tex win out there will be a lot of bitchin and whining for that 2 spot in the bcs....

Isiah Thomas said...

the Suns panicked with that signing.

D'antoni was talking about getting a combo guard all summer.

When Salmons turned down their offer they went after Banks.

The offer to Salmons was just as awful and he turned it down to go to Toronto only to turn them down. He eventually signed with Sacto. Cost himself millions. What an idiot.

Isiah Thomas said...

SC will get a shitload of poll and computer points if they beat Cal, ND and Oregon. I think that would easily put them at #3.

El Padrino said...

good call on Texas TP, i missed them

Isiah Thomas said...

Pimp Slap

Isiah Thomas said...

Michigan/OSU need to move their game up the schedule. Whoever loses will only have 1 loss to the #1 or 2 team - which is just as good as any other one loss team to date.

anonymous said...

get the LOU the eff outta herrrrrre!

Isiah Thomas said...

heard this on m&m....

UM/OSU winner will have 50 days inbetween their game and the title game.

Los said...

Still scratching my head that the NCAA doesn't do a playoff.

ToddPacker said...

ep

i like Tex to make it to the nc game...i think the sec will knock each other out and usc will fall in one of their tough games

ToddPacker said...

you're right zeke um/osu loser is just as good as any of the others 1-lose-teams...just too late in the season....UF and FSU had this problem in the 90's...the loser would usually be out of the NC picture...except of course for 1996

El Padrino said...

playoff system please!!!

Beth82678 said...

TP, I've been telling people all week that I have this feeling that UGA will either win or at least make a close game out of it against Auburn. They tend to do that - just when you get too high or too low on them they'll throw in a game to confuse you. (The Falcons do that too.)

I'd say "you heard it here first", but since TP posted before me I guess you heard it here second.

Isiah Thomas said...

aren't most schools in winter break when they'd do the playoff? The "stoodent ath-a-leets" wouldn't miss any class time.

WTF NCAA?

ToddPacker said...

los

playoffs would be great...not having a playoff is just retarded....50 days between games is just stupid.....hopefully someday when the old men running the ncaa get too old and die, some new blood will come in and make the playoffs happen

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Is there a such thing as a dark-haired Beth? In my 26 years, I've never seen one.

thejaywhite said...

aright TJW...has some stories from last night...anyone interested...im sort of confused...hungover....still sort of piecing together the night.

thejaywhite said...

k I think I just cleared some of the night up by seeing someones name on MSN messenger

Los said...

See the thing is that you can have the playoffs AND the bowl games. Seriously, you can do both. You can make at least twice as much money this way.

ToddPacker said...

zeke

i don't know any of these ncaa fools that actually stick with "payoffs would be too tough on the student athlete crap"...it's a load of bs...d2 and d3 football has playoffs, so i guess their not concerned about their academics...none of it makes any sense...i can't believe they can't see what a good thing a playoff would be

Isiah Thomas said...

tjw spill the bean already.

Isiah Thomas said...

or beans

Isiah Thomas said...

if you smelt tjw's fingers after a night out would they smell like rotten poonani or a combo of derek jeter cologn and anus?

thejaywhite said...

they smell like ass and pussy combo

Beth82678 said...

Meiz, if you're dark-haired and your name is Elizabeth, you're required to go by "Liz" of "Lisa" instead of "Beth". It's in the rulebook.

Martin VanNostrand said...

Gots to give it to the Scarlet Knights. They completely shut down the Cards in the 2nd half. Brohm was making some bad throws missing open wr's. Louisville just looked disturbed after the half. Like Keenan Wayans in Imgonnagityousucka when the seemingly hot chick he was about to score with took the padding out of her bra, took off her wig and then took off her prostetic leg. They just stumbled around in a daze.

thejaywhite said...

okay....so I am at this pre bar party....these two girls want to go early to the bar and get rid of everyone and want me to convince this other guy to come with us...i tell him hes gonna get laid if he comes...shes out of his league...he says he will come but wants to keep his options open....hes an idiot...u always take guaranteed new pussy.....u keep options open on something thats below your level or is a repeat offender

ToddPacker said...

totally right Los...8 team playoff, 4 1st round games, 2 second round games and a nc game. thats 7 games...give those 7 games the top 7 bowls...rotate the nc game. you got bowl games and a playoff...everyones happy

Isiah Thomas said...

and Brohm's brother living vicariously through him isn't helping...

Isiah Thomas said...

always aim high

thejaywhite said...

sorry for the break i had to get some breakfast and water.....so we go to the bar..just me and the two girls the other guy doenst come...we leave the bar and on the way out we see..the other guy walking in....we convince him to come with us to another bar....

Martin VanNostrand said...

Meiz - I know a dark haired Beth but strangely enough Elizabeth is her middle name so she goes by Beth rather than her first name so maybe it does not count.

Los said...

You could have the playoffs go on in December ... AND have bowl games in January separately. Why isn't this happening already?

thejaywhite said...

so we're at the bar having a drink and have to leave cause a friend of the girls boyfriends are in the bar...so we head back to my place

ToddPacker said...

i like how tjw can only drop a couple of senences at a time....very edge of the seat exicting

Martin VanNostrand said...

Zeke - I agree the suns will be fine. Training camp isn't enough to get them ready for their style of play and as you pointed out the new faces factor. They really need the first 15 games or so to work up to their tempo and let the new additions and those coming off injury adjust. Once December hits they will back to their form. The last 15 games of the regular season are more important than the first 15 as far as building momentum and flow heading into the playoffs. They will be rolling soon fo sho.

thejaywhite said...

im abit confused at this point as my girl says those two others are coming up to my room too..as the other guy lives just next door..

anonymous said...

im pretty sure i just saw martin throw out an imgunnagityousucka reference, and i got love for that.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I see. But, I know a Blonde Liz. Oldhassradborn's sister.

Martin VanNostrand said...

OG...Over Gold

Stiggy said...

Meiz,
My aunt's name is Beth, just Beth, not Elizabeth, and she is a brunette.

Isiah Thomas said...

steve - I sent a video clip to post on LOG.

Isiah Thomas said...

good call tp.

tjw get to the part where you pull your down with the mouth up with the kiss routine till you slap it up in her then give her a pearl necklace then drop her off in the middle of the woods Blair Witch project style.

thejaywhite said...

so we all end up in my room...the other girl gets cold feet...and wants to leave....this is after about 5 minutes of fooling around and im already bangin my girl......the other guy must have screwed up bad.....this is followed by my girl screaming at her firend that her boyfriends an asshole and she has to do this....and me tellin the other guy hes a loser and get the fuck out........

Isiah Thomas said...

and then.....

Isiah Thomas said...

if tjw banged two chicks at once I will hurt myself.

ebntx said...


>borat being sued

thejaywhite said...

.....then the other two leave...i keep bangin my chic...its over......then im pretty sure she stole 25-35 bucks from me....the end

ebntx said...

"then im pretty sure she stole 25-35 bucks from me"

tjw, just admit it she was a prostitute.

thejaywhite said...

I feel like the seinfeld episode where jerry realizes the maid isnt cleaning and hes just paying for sex

Isiah Thomas said...

if you didn't kiss her on the mouth then you were had by a lady of the night.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Drunk DJ fires up at about 3pm Central today.

temwr said...

This is a shitty day

thejaywhite said...

it sure is..now im hungover...and gotta get groceries...

temwr said...

RE: UM/OSU rematch

If either team wins a close well played game, USC loses 1 more, Cal loses 1 more, and Florida and Auburn lose 1 more we might see a rematch of that game. Texas probably needs to lose too. Unless UM beats OSU, then maybe OSU stays above Texas based upon them having beat Texas early in the year.

That is a lot of Ifs.

Basically these next 3 or 4 weeks or whatever will be a total crapshoot.

RE: Beth

I know one dark haired Beth, the others are all blonde. That is wierd. Liz is all over the board. I know 0 Red Headed Beth's or Liz's.

RE: TJW

Within 5 minutes he is banging his chick. Clearly not a situation for 4-play, props are in order. Well played, other than losing 35 bucks.

RE: Suns

Still way too early to write them off, they will easily make the playoffs.

Isiah Thomas said...

one not on Amare, he is incredibly out of shape right now. But the last 2 games he's started and played somewhat effectively.

Hopefully by playoff time all the rust will be off. Then if him and Nash get the 2 man game going they will be able to play up tempo and slow it down. IF they do this they'll be the favorites to win it all.

Isiah Thomas said...

tjw is all business.

thejaywhite said...

spidey 3 trailer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5A1csn4H5U

thejaywhite said...

yes TJW is all business..but Im gonna recoup my money somehow..whether she eats my dick after I put it in her bleeding ass...or if she goes to the washroom and I take my money back....I will get my revenge

anonymous said...

TJW keepz it realz.

keep it realer than real homie!

ebntx said...

elp what is the over/under that tjw already has an std and will be found dead in a pool of his own blood and semen soon?

now those would be some betting odds.

thejaywhite said...

oh god...the odds that I dont make it to 40..Im 27.....have tobe atleast even money

El Padrino said...

yeah i say he doesn't see 40

over +600
under -300

place your bets

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

LOL, just posted Zeke's video on LOG, it's under the jokes page.

Fucking Awsome!

thejaywhite said...

I think the real question is when I get that first phone call..........you have a X year old kid you owe this much in back payments...

mound of venus said...

you guys are awesome. i go away for a little while to clock dem dollas and i get banished. i feel a little like cott. hope you can find it in hearts to forgive me for my transgressions.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I just hope Simmons' column is good today. oh well.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Did anybody just see a ghost. I swear I just saw one.

El Padrino said...

Mov snuck in the back door

anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ToddPacker said...

meiz

the pic make me laugh out-loud...that guy looks like he's on a mission

anonymous said...

damnit i hate blogger and its errors...

DS said this today...

"Make no mistake: Rutgers will be the No. 2-ranked team on my Top 25 ballot on Sunday."

no wonder why he was no longer being paid for his sports opinions. funny how he states "in my poll" like his vote actually counts for something. if he really did ever get a vote, it would be revoked for stupid shit like this.

retards on the loose.

ebntx said...

iam, is he asking to name your all time fave rutgers players, because you know he has always been a fan. douche.

El Padrino said...

he's such a disaster
i cant believe people still read his garbage...i realize you only check it for retarded sayings like that one but still

i dont even give him the time of click and hated is quickie shit on WWL anyway

Isiah Thomas said...

good call iam.

Shamhoff needs to be punched in the face.

Funny how Whitlock got a new gig in .5 seconds after getting fired but ol' Shamhoff is still unemployed.

whocares said...

Beth,

I dont see the Dawgs getting it done this weekend (I also thought Rutgers was going to get blown out). They'll keep it close, but lose in the end. I certainly wouldnt give any team 12.5 against AU. Take the points. Take the points!!!!

TJW,

Wow. Nice work, but you couldnt wrangle a menage out of the deal? I question your powers.

anonymous said...

whitlock.. im almost a fan of now.. he seems to have more freedom, which goes good with his style. i like him having the balls to hate and call people out. how do u find his page anyways? i just typed in his name in aolsearch and it didnt come up.. although the Big Sexy shtick is also mad lame, but the writings are solid.

and yeah EP, i only checked due to him HAVING to say something stupid like that.. i knew he'd do it, i just had to see it for myself. his stuff is entirely too grade school anymore. i cant believe he retains readers.

Marvin said...

Any comments on JD Drew opting out of an $11 million/year contract to become a free agent? He seems like a clubhouse cancer that will always go to the highest bidder, never plays hurt. I hope that decision bites him and Boras in the ass.

thejaywhite said...

Im pretty sure I had the 3some goin..til the other guy came back...and then performed miserably....if he doenst show up..im pretty sure the 3 of us just go back to my place...

anonymous said...

whats the over/under on TJW being able to snag a mother/daughter combo? and then to shag them in a menage....

El Padrino said...

i think Drew is overated

ebntx said...

unless they are held against their will, i would say slim to none.

Isiah Thomas said...

I don't think Drew will get a better deal than what he had. Not a smart move by him, we'll see.

Isiah Thomas said...

and POOF....MOV is gone again.

Spaceman Spiff said...

drew is an idiot, hope he makes half what he coulda made and plays on a basement team

Isiah Thomas said...

Its getting a little cooler here at nights, might be time to give Bass beer a little love tonight.

Isiah Thomas said...

where in the hell is the good rev?

let's hope he was alright.

He was going to be my sleeper pick in the death pool. Let's hope I'm not too late.

Isiah Thomas said...

kidding

Spaceman Spiff said...

philly sports easily take 15 years off a lifespan

El Padrino said...

spiff i missed that parlay by 3 points!!

but i had RU on the moneyline

Spaceman Spiff said...

oh snap, the indians want to hire buck showalter as an advisor. they are smart. they can hire him then eventually move him to manager then fire him, so they can guarantee a world series title the year after he is canned. brilliant! the drought will soon be over for them.

Spaceman Spiff said...

i think the louisville guy who was offsides had rutgers moneyline too, had to give em a free play in case they messed up the first try.

El Padrino said...

pretty sure you can't shock a baby with a cattle prod (cnn.com)

can't link it cuz blogger.com got her period today

Spaceman Spiff said...

SG new is up

temwr said...

today is still shitty.

and where is rev, he must be home banging the MOB.

Isiah Thomas said...

SG too his medicine somewhat, was still a little whiny though.

Spaceman Spiff said...

SH wants celebrity break up bets, sign her up for the death pool also

El Padrino said...

lunchtime

Martin VanNostrand said...

I said last week that MOV was a shadow warrior. Striking out of nowhere and then vanishing in a cloud of smoke. We just witnessed it again.

temwr said...

Simmons is a douche

he says "Always take the underdog unless it literally pains you not to be backing the favorite."

Then his first pick is KC -1 over MIA.

Really? It would be painful to take MIA at home? I don't think so. MIA at home against a Huard, no matter how well he and LJ are playing is not painful. And after MIA just spanked the Bears?

Isiah Thomas said...

alright here are my picks, I'm currently hanging in 3rd but have been awful the last 3 weeks. You rank em 16 to 1.

Colts 16
Pats 15
Broncos 14 (away)
Jags 13
Ravens 12 (away)
Falcons 11
Cowboys 10 (away)
Panthers 9
Chiefs 8 (away)
Minny 7
Chargers 6 (away)
Eagles 5
Rams 4 (away)
Lions 3
Stillers 2
Giants 1

Just winners, no spread.

Martin VanNostrand said...

Meiz - 3 hours 10 minutes until you go on. Are you spinning some Ghetto Boyz today?

anonymous said...

martin, you are officially my favorite person ever. sweet jeebus that is a great picture.

who's the baddest mofo low down around this town??

Spaceman Spiff said...

leroy is the master now tho

temwr said...

The SG did bring up the whole Christian Slater interview thing. That was just weird. It was like Slater didn't know when to cheer. He'd say "ooh ohh ooohho oohhh" for the snap.

anonymous said...

me so huuuunry.

better get my feet'sa to daddy green's pizza.

The Rev said...

Sorry I'm late. Had to actually work today. It's been happening more and more lately.

First off, to MOV... you're welcome to comment anytime. You're far from banished. You're still in our family. But was it really worth keeping you as a front page contributor when your last writing was well over a month ago? Hell, I would take myself off as a contributor if I couldn't post. That's just the way it is.

Secondly... JD Drew is an asshole!

Thirdly... Philly sports do kill you eventually. I'm certain the Eagles have wiped out at least 10 years from me.

Now I'm going to lunch. Be back later.

temwr said...

I am terrible at picks. Zeke those picks look good to me. Except I like cinci over sd.

So since I like most of them....you probably should change a lot of them.

thejaywhite said...

sometimes I think
TJW needs a change in lifestyle

temwr said...

TJW is considering going gay?

ToddPacker said...

thegaywhite?

Isiah Thomas said...

tjw a switch hitter? say it ain't so.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

I knew it all along, no more surprising than the Backstreet boy coming.

thejaywhite said...

LOL no not gay you fucking jobbers

only thing backstreat about me...is all the boyband type pussy that follows me around

sometimes I just think im too old for all this partying and slutting...

ebntx said...

or is possible that tjw will give up his ways and join the rev and iam to become a man of the cloth?

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

what are you jaywhite, the ripe old age of 16? 16 and a half?

Isiah Thomas said...

Eerie

thejaywhite said...

27

Isiah Thomas said...

This is retarded

anonymous said...

my ass would be nowhere near a plane with that team.

secondly, TJW, suck it up man, think of what youre saying. abuse that ass. it is your duty to tear up that booty.

this should be your prime. 32 is a nice age to 'magic johnson' your way off the whore-line. (plus thats my pick for him to catch an STD).

stick with it buddy!

anonymous said...

and think of all the bar skanks that u get when youre in the 35-40+ crowd.. old housewives smoking newports, their yellow stained teeth matching their poorly dyed hair.. nothing hotter.

Isiah Thomas said...

Father Hate....

don't forget their gravely voice. Nothing hotter than a woman who's voice sounds like she's been swallowing hot charcoal briquettes all her life.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Geto Boyz for sure. Till Death

Isiah Thomas said...

Meiz - maybe something like some old school De La Soul?

El Padrino said...

mikey d's
i can feel it heading down to my anus

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Remember, today I'm going for specific songs. Don't ask how I'm doing it but, I am.

El Padrino said...

zeke

Colts
Broncos
Pats
Ravens
Jags
Panthers
Cowboys
Minny
Lions
KC
Eagles
Seahawks
Falcons
Bengals
Steelers
Bears

Isiah Thomas said...

Meiz start off with Kick in the Door by Biggie. It'll get ya started off right.

Isiah Thomas said...

good looking out EP - is that your order from 16 to 1?

Isiah Thomas said...

there's nothing like eating some McD's and thinking you're safe then 20 mins later you feel like your bunghole is about to splode.

El Padrino said...

yeah - best to worst

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Kick in the Door it is.

El Padrino said...

really scared of the Giant game
i wanna pick them but they have so many injuries at the wrong positions.

El Padrino said...

kick in the door waving the .44
all you heard was papa dont hit no more

rip big, luv u son

Isiah Thomas said...

Built for Speed

Isiah Thomas said...

get in that ass think fast like ramadan; its that rap phenomenon dun datta.

RIP BIG

El Padrino said...

go to room 112, tell em blanco sent u

anonymous said...

didnt read the story, but a great headline from cnn...

"Denise Richards tosses laptops, hits women"

El Padrino said...

sports guy whining bout betting

el pad would wipe the floor with that pathetic twatwaffle

Isiah Thomas said...

Meiz - let me offer "U understand" by Juvenile, or "Git your role on" by Big Tymers

or anything by Cool Breeze if you got it.

The Rev said...

Everyone is picking the Eagles.

That worries me now.

El Padrino said...

iggles win this week rev

dont fret big buddy
two weeks off to figure out why they are playing like pussies in the 4 quarter is enough

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I played "Get your Roll On" out. I don't know if I can suffer through it. Maybe when I'm inebriated.

anonymous said...

meiz, how bout some Baby Got Back?

Isiah Thomas said...

repeat: Iggles 84 Skins 0

temwr said...

To make Rev feel better:

Skins 27
Iggles 24

Isiah Thomas said...

did anyone else catch the gatorade dump highlight? Dude got hit in the head.

thejaywhite said...

i know i know...im blessed but ive been doin this for ten+ year now...just pounding any remotely attractive broad i meet...its to the point where I cant even keep a straightface when i meet a girl cause i know im gonna be poundin her within the week...seriously...my friends cant introduce me to anyone..I always get the pre--PLEASE DONT BANG THIS ONE I HAVE TO WORK WITH HER-- when i get intro'd...and i always bang them

anonymous said...

zeke, saw the bucket drop this morning and laughed.. my reasoning is that theyre new to the celebrations and didnt realize that you dont have to THROW the bucket.. the liquid will fall out by itself. but yeah, the coach looked back like WTH, you dumbasses.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

You gotta be fucking kidding me with that "baby got back" shit. I hate that song so much. That really pisses me off.

anonymous said...

TJW, show no mercy. sweep the leg!!

Tyler said...

I Ain’t No Joke - Eric B. & Rakim

thejaywhite said...

TJW is doing a blog of his own analyzing his current situation

anonymous said...

because im a total ass....

"Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-lot

[Intro]
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, y'know, who understands those rap guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big. *scoff*
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... black!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna role in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

(Little in the middle but she got much back) [4x]

anonymous said...

can i get a *scoff* from the congregation?

El Padrino said...

out-fucking-standing

anonymous said...

what is in Idaho, other than potatoes?

can somebody please state a case for why idaho is NOT totally worthless...

Tyler said...

I just had to reboot my computer. I think those Baby Got Back lyrics made it crash.

El Padrino said...

the blue powder at Bronco Stadium IAM. never disrespect the blue powder

thejaywhite said...

TJW posted

temwr said...

Idaho is not totally worthless because it sounds like you are saying i had a ho.

anonymous said...

i bet TJW's ancestors had something to do with naming that state.

maybe early settlers left all their whores stranded there without horses.. like the 7-11's of old?

Martin VanNostrand said...

Meiz - Rock some EPMD "PAid in Full" and follow that up with Paper Boy "the Ditty"

JFreak said...

I had a group of friends who tried to convince me once that Wyoming doesn't exist.

But really, who's ever met someone from Wyoming?

El Padrino said...

now wyoming is more worthless than idaho

nobody gives a fuck about wyoming

Spaceman Spiff said...

actually tem it makes you sound like a ho "I da hoe"

Martin VanNostrand said...

Jfreak - never met anyone from WY but I have been there. At least that's what the sign said. It could have all been a hoax by the gov and I was really still in Colorado.

The Rev said...

Idaho = potatoes

That's good enough for me.

El Padrino said...

the jaywhite is at the crossraods

The Rev said...

That would be funny.

If the governor decided to be an ass, and moved all the state border signs 10 miles in, would anyone really notice in Wyoming?

The Rev said...

If you did that crap in PA we'd notice.

We know where PA ends, and Delaware begins. Believe me, it's a difference.

The Rev said...

Considering thejaywhite has stated that he might not make it to 40, this would totally be his mid-life crisis.

anonymous said...

wyoming is def. in a tie for Most Worthless State.

The Rev said...

From what I hear, the Dakotas are pretty worthless.

I've never been, but Mom had to go to South Dakota once. She said it sucked.

El Padrino said...

Long-whoria and Beyonce!

anonymous said...

everything that we said about Rev the other day should now be directed at TJW.

havent even read his stuff yet, but it sounds like there will be alot of sniffling.

real men pick up their sacks and dont sniffle. come on man.

thejaywhite said...

TJW banged two girls from wyoming U varsity teams eh

El Padrino said...

Blow-Han's tiny yet nice little nipples

Isiah Thomas said...

Any of those states...

Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, N and S Dakota....

all worthless.

The Rev said...

At least I got over my sniffling.

Thejaywhite is talking about a major life change. Mine was a one day thing.

Isiah Thomas said...

BLOCKED: ADULT CONTENT

JFreak said...

South Dakota has Mount Rushmore, and that's about it. So it's not completely worthless.

And I think Wyoming is just Truman Show-ish, and they have screens up so it looks like you're driving through, but you are really just on a treadmill sort of thing.

The Rev said...

Rhode Island is pretty worthless.

However, it is saved due to the inordinate number of strip clubs Providence has.

It is the strip club capital of New England.

Isiah Thomas said...

Rev I was born in RI biatch.

Isiah Thomas said...

Delaware - now that place is worthless.

JFreak said...

Well then that makes it completely worthless zeke.

Isiah Thomas said...

not to change the subject but is there anything better than being on your lunch break at work and you feel a little gas coming but you think you might shart. But when its all gas its like you beat the system.

The Rev said...

Zeke...

then you really should have first hand knowledge.

And you moved from RI to a better state in VA, right?

Isiah Thomas said...

real young when I was in RI

0-5 yrs old then on to England then to the Commonwealth.

Isiah Thomas said...

kentucky seems like it would be worthless. Never been just get that feeling.

Isiah Thomas said...

except for KFC.

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