Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Mr. Meiz's NBA Preview for 2006-07

As e-mailed to me, The Rev, and reposted word for word here in this forum. The opinions below are that of one Mr. Meiz straight out of Milwaukee. And the words below are his.

Hope you all enjoy this. Now, I will turn it over to Mr. Meiz. Thank you, Meiz!

------------------------------

Warning:

This NBA preview contains no actual statistical analysis and, was written by a drunken buffoon. Send your complaints to suckabloodytampon@gmail.cum


Eastern Conference

1. New Jersey Nets
I just have a feeling about this team. They get to beat up on the worst division in the league night in and night out. VC’s playing for a contract, Kristic is coming into his own and, Ason Kidd will be Ason Kidd. It just seems like these guys love to play for Larry Frank. He’s the little guy that nobody respected and they’re full of vets that have a sense of pride in overachieving. This brings me to the next team.

2. Miami Heat
I suppose they can’t be written off as not being contenders although they have made no changes or improvements this year. Shaq is a year older, GP is a year older, J-Will is a year older… Sure they have Wade but I’m not completely sold on him just quite yet. Does he really deserve to get calls that Money didn’t even get? You’re a fool to think that the NBA isn’t rigged and that the Miami Heat won’t be in the Eastern Conference Finals. I almost forgot to add that Udonis Haslem has a “Diesel” tattoo. How gay is that? You couldn’t get your own nickname? Yes, I’m a hater.

3. Chicago Bulls
How on earth is this happening? The Bulls are making a return to glory. The Wallace signing was key, obviously, but he’s getting older. PJ Brown shouldn’t see a whole lot of action, but he will be instrumental in how far this team will go. Yes, guard play dominates this team and that’s how Paxson and Skiles built it. The guards are defensively sound and pretty lanky with my man Luol Deng wreaking havoc on the perimeter. They’ll get it done running and throwing plenty of lobs. Just an electric team if they don’t get bogged down or tired. I don’t think they will.

4. Deeeetroit Pistons
I get the feeling that the Pistons are certainly flying under the radar this year. Everyone thinks they’ll be decent but not great. I think we’ll get to see them run a LOT more this year than in the past. Hashweed will continue to be a MAJOR threat all over the court even though he’s starting to age. You’ll see, Iam will tell you so. Tayshaun’ll get more buckets with the smaller lineup, Chauncey will continue to prove that he’s a premiere player in the league even though he seems to get nothing from the media. I think he feels sleighted. I’d be surprised if the Pistons don’t win 50 games this year.

5. Cleveland Cavaliers
They haven’t improved and LeBron continues to be the premiere player in the league. What more is there to this team? Am I missing something? Larry Hughes! Whoop-dee-fucking-doo! Bron doesn’t defer to him, he defers to Big Z. I really have nothing to say about the Cavs. LeBron will carry them to third in the Central. That’s it. Who cares? Does anyone think this is really a potentially GOOD team? I want to know. How old is Eric Snow? 45? Shit, he looks like it. I could ramble on and on about how un-special this team is and how the national media thinks they’ll be special, but I won’t. I just don’t get it.

6. Washington Wizards
A team that will reach its apex this season, and that’s not saying a whole hell of a lot. Sorry Zeke. I thought they had more in them than what they look like. THEY ARE WHO WE THINK THEY ARE! I just don’t think that there are enough basketballs for this team. 0 will get his 27-30, Jamison will get whatever the hell it is he gets and Caron Butler will get frustrated. Who plays defense for them? Brendan Haywood and Etan Thomas? No thanks.

7. Milwaukee Bucks
(Homer Alert!)
Now here’s a team that’s going places! Potential for having a premiere frontcourt? Check. Top level shooting guard? Check. Shitty coach who’s gonna get canned for a proven name? Check. Sports Guy’s brother Bobby? Check. Smells like a winner to me. Then again I’m probably completely wrong. Bogut could prove to be fragile and, completely ruin the franchise. I’m already preparing for that. Either way, there’s always a pleasant surprise and I think this is the Bucks team that could do it. I even think they may be able to run Miami out of the first round. You can’t possibly think Father Time can get up and down with Bogut and Gadzuric, do you? I just pray to God that Terry Stotts gets fired soon. He has no clue how to run this team. Yes, I AM available, Senator Kohl. Gimme a call.

8. Indiana Pacers
I know, they should be higher but, someone always slips and, someone always gets left out. The Pacers have the most potential to self-destruct simply because Stephen Jackson has already fired his pistol multiple times this season. JO has proven to be a consummate pro throughout his NBA career. I really like him. Balls hard every night and, keeps his bitching to a minimum. Ah but, re-enter Al Harrington. I loved him for Fantasy #s in the ATL but, now he comes back to Indy as a complimentary player. Do you think HE knows that? I don’t. This team is about O’Neal inside and Steve Jackson outside. Al’s the third option. We’ll see how he handles that.

9. Boston Celtics
Do I really need to address this team? Won’t we get enough from Simmons? Auerbach died, yadda, yadda. Paul Pierce is the man and Telfair is not the point that they wanted. Al Jefferson continues to not develop into a real pro and they continue to run circles around themselves. If I knew how to type a fart noise, this is where it would debut.

10.Orlando Magic
This is my choice for the team to be left out. I know, Boston’s ahead of them, but someone is bound to fall. I really do like this Magic team with the core that they have. Major youth movement happening and potential for three double-double guys. ( Jameer, Howard and, yes, Darko). I just don’t see them getting over the hump this year, maybe next. I’m running out of gas at this point as I don’t really care about these teams that much. It’s gonna get brief.

11.Toronto Raptors
Not even close yet. They lack talent and may have made a terrible trade for TJ Ford. Basically it’s Chris Bosh and nothing else. They’ll try to run and, won’t get it done. Bryan Colangelo is a proven basketball mind and will probably turn it around eventually.

12.Charlotte Bobcats
Lots of youth and oodles of talent. They probably should be number 11 but again I don’t really care. Can Gerald Wallace stay healthy? Can the ‘stache play D and shoot in NBA traffic? I don’t know. I think they’ll be fine in the future. This franchise seems like it’s being built properly. They could get 30 wins.

13.New York Knicks
Isiah Thomas. You sleep in the bed you make. Sorry El Pad, I have nothing to add about this circle jerk that has become the New York Knicks. Who’ll be traded first? Will Isiah quit? Will David Stern have him killed? Will the Sports Guy and Hench beat his ass when he confronts him? Anything can happen at this point.

14.Philadelphia 76ers
Don’t fool yourselves, Rev and Los. This team will stink like 3 Mile Island. I give lots of credit to Alley I for being a true warrior through out his career, but this is damn near the end of the line. He needed out and didn’t get it. Iverson won’t allow them to be the worst and, will do that on his own. I just don’t think they have the coaching or the drive. Younger teammates seeing AI physically and mentally downtrodden will affect them. Maybe they could be better than the Knicks, but I don’t think they have the talent.

15.Atlanta Hawks
Finally! This shit is over for now! I’m waiting to see where DB has these guys ranked. Not that he’ll actually do a full preview. The Hawks are young and talented and full of guys waiting to get noticed by the other teams so they can get the hell out. What kind of NBA franchise draws…wh…what?!? Okay, I just looked it up and, there is NO WAY Atlanta gets 15,000 fans per game. NONE. Not a fucking chance! Once again, the NBA is rigged.


Western Conference

1. Dallas Mavericks
What to say about the likely NBA champs… Dirk continues to be the best big in the Association and, the rest of the team continues to play team ball and believe in Avery Johnson’s system and theories. Devin Harris, I believe, will show that he’s more than capable of running a championship team. Jason Terry needs to figure out that he needs to play more D and, take less ill-advised shots. I think he can improve his efficiency this year if he tones it down a touch. Josh Howard has his ultimate opportunity to really show if he has game for real. I really think this team is the class of the NBA.

2.Phoenix Suns
Nothing really new here but, that’s not a bad thing. Nash will continue to run the most exciting team in the NBA to a “T” and, Amare is back this year. If Stoudemire is healthy, they WILL challenge Dallas for the West crown. I wish I could come up with more to say about them but, what more can I say? Everybody expects lots out of them and that’s probably what we’ll get. I don’t buy into the pundits picking them to win it all. Sexy picks almost never live up to the hype. Nonetheless, the Suns will be a tip-top team this year. No Surprises here.

3.Denver Nuggets
Not much new here either. I think they’ll miss Reuben Patterson on defense but, if Nene and K-Mart can stay healthy, it won’t be a big deal. Carmelo is most likely looking to get nearly 30 a game this year. If he could figure out how to rebound and be tough, he could finally make that push into the Wade-LeBron class that he so much desires. #3 seems a little high for them, but I just don’t think Utah can take this division.

4.LA Clippers
The big test year for them. I think they can go pretty deep this season on the shoulders of Elton Brand and behind the leadership of coach Cassell. Shaun Livingston seems to be the real deal and, being sided up with Corey Maggette and Cat Mobley really brings big-time depth to this backcourt. The big question this season is if Mike Dunleavy can keep Daniel Ewing off the court. Oh, living up to expectations and hype might end up being trying too.

5.San Antonio Spurs
As I said, there’s always a team that slips and, I think the Spurs are it. Wouldn’t it be nice to have your team be the underachievers at the 5 spot? I think Timmay returns to his old self this year. He just didn’t seem right last season, no? Manu’s big expectations and then his pressing to fill them was a problem for the team last year, in my opinion. I’m not sure where he finished but, Tony Parker lead the league in points in the paint for most of the season, if not all year. How wild is that? The Spurs are still in good shape but the wild, wild west is just that. Wild.

6.Utah Jazz
Not really a surprise with putting them here, seeing that a lot of people expect a lot out of them this year. They have two box score fillers in AK-47 and Okur. Both are legit double-double threats every night. Kirilenko could even be close to a triple-double every time he takes the court. Deron Williams seems to be adjusting well to the pro game with his thick frame and penetration ability. Can Jerry Sloan bring this team back to prominence? I think so. They may not be quite ready but, I think this core is really nice.

7.LA Mambas
Three words: Ko-be, Ko-be, Ko-be. Okay, that’s not all that this team is now. Lamar Odom may be more comfortable with Bryant this season and, the young guys know how to defer to those two. Defense might be an issue, but Philly Jack can reel anybody in. There ain’t much more to this team other than seeing if Andrew Bynum can develop into a true pro and if Big Red’s kid can continue his growth. I like this squad even if you don’t. Suck it.

8.NOOCH
I just like typing that. Not a real shocker if they make the post-season. Good talent and a real good point guard in Chris Paul. Look for David West to improve on his sneaky numbers from last year. He’s good. No lie. I don’t think they’ll be anything special, but they’ll make the playoffs. This is the West’s “They are who we think they are” team.

9.Houston Rockets
WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO!?!?!? Not the playoffs, unfortunately. I think T-Mac could be traded this year if, they’re bad enough. They should make the playoffs, but I just have a feeling they’ll miss out. Battier is a nice addition. They just haven’t done anything else. Can you really trust your franchise to Rafer Alston? I didn’t think so. The And1 guys don’t even respect him anymore. Juwan will probably be gone by the deadline also. I think this could be a train-wreck in the making. Add- They also have Yahoo!’s lowest ranked fantasy player in John Lucas. Never a good sign.

10.Memphis Express
That’s what their name was gonna be if FedEx had their way. I think this is just going to be a down year for the Grizz. Just a team stuck in a conference that is ultra-competitive. I really have no dukes on them since they don’t actually have any fans. On a bright note, you can get your “Gay” jerseys in teal. This franchise is in major need of a hurricane.

11.Sacramento Kangs
Okay, maybe they should be ahead of Memphis, but I don’t really care. Who does? Mike Bibby, Ron Artest, Brad Miller, Shareef. Too much talent to suck, but it will happen. I hate the West. This shit gives me a headache. There simply isn’t enough playoff spots for all the West teams. I’m basing this ranking partly on their horrendous alternate unis. The Maloofs have too much money to look so bad. It’s 10:30. I’m officially drunk.

12.Golden State Warriors
I gotta give the Warriors some due only because my all-time favorite player is Chris Mullin. Yes, I just openly admitted that and, I’m damn proud of it. Unfortunately the man is a shitty GM/Head of Basketball Operations or whatever he is. Hopefully he’s just drunk again. Look for Baron Davis and Jason Richardson to openly have a contest to see who can be traded first, while Dunleavy hangs out and collects his GIANT paycheck. Nice job Mully. Oh, Troy Murphy is a nice player too. Double-double machine. He should try to get traded also.

13.Minnesota Timberwolves
I honestly almost forgot their name as I was typing it. I nearly put TimberRattlers, a Mariners minor league team. KG’s gonna kill someone or quit. They’re fucked. 25&12 for Garnett and that’ll be it. Mike James is NOT the answer. Is Ricky Davis still on this team? Does it even matter? McHale should trade KG. This franchise needs to rebuild. They had a shot 2-3 years ago and, missed their chance. Fold your hand, Kevin.

14.Seattle Sonics
Look for Rashard Lewis to blow up this season because ownership is looking to move him and the team. I heard that the coach was told to give him more touches to up his trade value. NEVER a good sign. I don’t even have anything about Shuttlesworth. He’s been the same guy for the last decade. The Sonics just can’t compete.

15. Portland Bengals
Oops. Was that a typo? Zach Randolph will still be greedy and not give the young guys their touches. Is there really anything else to this team? I really think this is the team that should be moved, not the Sonics. No way Bill Gates would have let this happen. The Portland Trailblazers need to be tampon dipped.

228 comments:

1 – 200 of 228   Newer›   Newest»
The Rev said...

No need to apologize, Meiz.

I agree 100% about the Sixers.

I'm not looking forward to this season.

Los said...

Meiz - I was receving about 5 e-mails a week from the Sixers. After last season, Billy King muttered something about changing the culture and identity of this team ... he brings back 90% of the same players. So, I decided to e-mail the Sixers and tell them to stop contacting me until 2009 - when the culture would HAVE to change. I haven't received an e-mail since.

Eric said...

I like how you mention that you were drunk and then followed that up immediately by saying Chris Mullen was your favorite player. Clearly he was also a role model for you.

ebntx said...

excellent job meiz. finally a preview down to my level.

ebntx said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Isiah Thomas said...

jesus christ Meiz. This must have taken 3 bottles of Fleischmann's.

Isiah Thomas said...

Spiff the Suns def got ball dipped.

Odom was that beast.

Isiah Thomas said...

Spiff what was up with that lighting? It looked pitch dark in the stands.

The Rev said...

It was at least two days of writing. I got the East one day, and the West the next day.

Eric said...

I believe that's called a commitment to excellence

Isiah Thomas said...

I'm with you on Orlando. People are trying to put them in the playoffs but they aren't ready yet.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

I wonder last night while Shaq was getting his ring if he was thinking "Suck It Kobe"?

Isiah Thomas said...

the Bullets were a few late game stops from beating the Cavs last year in the playoffs. They might sneak up on people this year.

Isiah Thomas said...

If Denver gets off to a slow start that team will unravel. The team has already reached "Our coach is an asshole phase" with Karl. A poor start will kill this team.

Isiah Thomas said...

Leandro Barbaso will be filthy good this season.

El Padrino said...

good job meiz
real good job

i like the nuggets this year as a longshot to make the finals -- i got them at 26-1
also threw down on the $10 on the Celts at 48-1 and my knicks 125-1

worth $5 youknowhatimsayin

El Padrino said...

CAPTAIN BARBOSA!!!

El Padrino said...

Zeke still calls them the Bullets

that's cute

anonymous said...

tip of the hat for the preview.. spot on buddyolpal.

El Padrino said...

Kobe eye-fucked the suns last night

dont dare fuck with the MAMBA!

Isiah Thomas said...

they'll always be the Bullets to me.

Isiah Thomas said...

speaking of Kobe's eyes....

did anyone see his left eye? It was sunken into his skull and looked funny as shit.

Isiah Thomas said...

EJ looks like James Carville with that bald dome piece.

El Padrino said...

dude had some cancer
that's why his jaw was swollen as shit last year

El Padrino said...

his left eye has been like that for a while

it looks a bit Kirb-ish to me

Isiah Thomas said...

good comparison EP

Isiah Thomas said...

someone prob finished in his eye on accident.

Martin VanNostrand said...

Probably that same sailor Andy Dick was speaking of in Old School.

ToddPacker said...

Great job Meiz.

Although, I was hoping that it would get to more of a drunken babble towards the end on the west coast rankings. All in all very nice work. It beats the loser SG BB preview.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I couldn't just babble, I I felt a lot of pressure.

ToddPacker said...

Anyone want to offer up a quick recap on the whole "Wiki" situation.

I didn't read through all of the comments from yesterday.

Martin VanNostrand said...

After the clinic the Bulls put on last night I'm looking forward to Scoops reaction. Probably something along the lines of:

Disrespect my click, my sh-t's imperial
F--k around and made her milkbox material

Martin VanNostrand said...

TP - basically Wiki admin keeps deleting the LOV entery mistakenly thinking it's not noteworthy.

El Padrino said...

i'm sorry i missed it.

Did Bill Cowher throw two picks to the house on Sunday or was that Ben Rothlisberger?

Los said...

We have more important things to discuss - who is going to replace Bob Barker on the Price is Right? My pick would be Mike Tyson.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

los, you're a genius.

How funny would that be, I could just imagine him cold cocking a contestant because they tried to hug him and saying something like

"I told her to calm the fuck down. She wouldn't listen, so I went back to the streets. I cannot defend it, but it happened."

I would never miss a show!!!

El Padrino said...

Dikembe Motumbo
and when a contestant gets something wrong or loses
they get the finger wag

Los said...

I suggested Michael Jackson on my blog - but we'd have to replace "Barker's Beauties" with "Jackson's Juveniles."

Spaceman Spiff said...

the theme for the laker home games this year is 'lights out'. sounds gay and cant really tell when youre there, but when i saw the highlights, it was dark as hell in the stands. the purpose is to put more focus on the game.

anonymous said...

so can we officially say that the Heat got booooooooooned.

i hate you shaq. please die.

and i think the P.I.Right needs to have guest hosts and have all of the above mentioned celebs take turns.

El Padrino said...

are the heat serious with all the white tshirts that they must give out to the fans....it was like last year's playoff theme.

it's gay

Beth82678 said...

Wow, I hadn't heard Bob Barker was retiring til I read it here. I grew up watching him, it just won't be the same without him.

I'm curious to see though how many stories about him reference his hilarious appearance in "Happy Gilmore". The quote "The price is wrong bitch!" still cracks me up.

ebntx said...

more on barker:

He said he'd take on a movie role if the right one came along, but filmmakers, take note: "I refuse to do nude scenes. These Hollywood producers want to capitalize on my obvious sexuality, but I don't want to be just another beautiful body."

Beth82678 said...

Bob's a definite stud. I don't remember the exact details (and am too lazy to look them up), but wasn't he sued a while back for banging 1 or 2 of the Barker Beauties?

The Rev said...

Can you imagine Mutombo doing the finger wag to that song the Price is Right plays when a contestant gets it wrong?

BUM-BUM-BUM-BA-BUM-WAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

The Rev said...

He banged the one who appeared in Playboy, Dian Parkinson.

The Rev said...

The Price is Right "You're Wrong" Horn

Imagine Mutombo waving his finger to this sound.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I apply that sound to life like 5 times a day.

anonymous said...

curse that sound link for being blocked.. curse it i say.

ebntx said...

iam its a wonder you get to make an appearance here at all. your employer seems to block everything. so far i think only youtube is blocked here. for a while they even had mapquest blocked. i guess that they didnt want us to find our way out of here.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

Just for the haters

Isiah Thomas said...

I used to like steve.

ebntx said...

steve who?

anonymous said...

smells like death in here...

and yes, my shit is blocked all over the place. i might as well live in china.

anonymous said...

john l smith is quitting at michigan state.

now go die. im so glad i wont have to hear about how great JOHNLSMITH is. JOHNLSMITH is one of the premiere coaches in the entire world, bar none.

and if you didnt know, his name is JOHNLSMITH. gotta call him by that full name all the time.

bastard local writers/tv guys have pushed me to this point....

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

I think he is hated even more than Laettner was, and that's saying something. I've never understood why though, I mean, Laettner was a dick and a bully. Reddick's a poetry reading pansy, but all around good kid.

Seems like there would be more hate for Laettner.

I guess it's because he spent 4 years kicking the rest of the ACC’s ass. If he would have been wearing baby blue, he would have been loved by the masses, but then again, that would have also made him gay as hell.

anonymous said...

quitting = getting bought out.

see ya!

Martin VanNostrand said...

Kentucky fans still HATE latner with an alarming passion. My bro-in-law is one. It's kind of funny actually.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

I'm sure they do:

oh yea!!!

ebntx said...


>Even better

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

asshole

anonymous said...

p3wnd.

or something.

Martin VanNostrand said...

Loved those promo's Chris Farley did for the WWL in the 90's. He had on the Latner Jersey and the cutouts of the KY squad on the court and kept trying to replicate Latners game winner. That was some funny stuff.

ebntx said...


A good time killer

anonymous said...

im reading the Uniwatch article, and the Wizards alternate jerseys make me wanna offer my insides to Hannibal Lector.

who the fa' came up with gold jerseys and navy shorts? holy shitty shimmery jerseys batman!

Isiah Thomas said...

37 is my best so far, I have one of these for movie scenes, its in an excel file.

Isiah Thomas said...

38 now.

Martin VanNostrand said...

Somethings wrong with it EB. I keep entering Rug Munchers for number 8 and it says I'm wrong.

ebntx said...

rug munchers, yea funny..

i got a 44. share the movie one.

temwr said...

I always get like a 30 on those because I can't spell worth a damn.

How do you spell Chick fil a? I don't know.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

and.....50

Tyler said...

They changed the playoff format this year so what happened last year won't happen again, (i.e. Denver gets the #3 spot just because they won their division. They were actually like #6 in the West based on standings). The Nuggs will win that division, because it's a sorry division, but in no way are they a #3 team. Even getting Nene back for a full season and with their "big addition" of J.R. Smith there's no way they are better than the Spurs. Camby's already starting things off with an injury and their season hasn't even started yet. I think you're counting out the Spurs too early. And I know it's the first game and all, but did anyone see that the Suns lost to the Lakers last night without Kobe? Not a good way to start off the season right there...

And here's The Boston Fart Sound you were looking for...

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

thanks, tyler.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Terry Stotts' wife came into the store the other day. I wanted to spit on her thousand dollar shoes.

Spaceman Spiff said...

Met' Mota suspended 50 games to start next yera. 50 games for 1st suspension = ROIDS.

anonymous said...

yeah, im with Durden.. and how did the lakers string up 114 points WITHOUT their Rapist?

Tyler said...

Meiz: I actually really like the Bucks and their team, but I'm with you on the coaching. On paper, especially in the East, they sould be just as good as the Cavs. But I think they get outcoached a lot.

And iam; if you look at the box, it's even more insane. Odom: 34, Bynum: 18 and 9, Evans: 17 off the bench, and a whole bunch of guys close to double digits. Then my favorite part, Vujacic: 0 in 24 minutes. I live in L.A. and hate the Lakers, but I was happy to see them win without Mamba.

Spaceman Spiff said...

its called the suns defense

anonymous said...

or lack thereof.

also.. we need the official list for these logos, cause i cannot put my finger on a chunk of these and i'll need to know...

Tyler said...

I think half the reason the Lakers dropped 114 on them is that the Suns are overrated bigtime. They play no D. If you can play good transition D and run right back at them, they're toast. I'm not sold 100% on Stoudemire's comeback either, and I think dumping all of their picks this year is going to hurt them and ultimately send them back to the lottery in 3-4 years when their team is old and creaky and Nash has retired. I think they're built to win now, but they're not built that well. And I believe they have to figure out what they're going to do with Marion because I think his contract runs out soon. I could be wrong about that, but I think that's the major reason he's always in trade rumors because they might not be able to pay him.

Isiah Thomas said...

50, god damn, some of those I have no clue.

Isiah Thomas said...

Suns D was pretty bad last night.

When they gave up 3 straight layups to Farmar you knew it was over.

And Marion is good for blowing at least 3 layups a game.

Isiah Thomas said...

Marion is locked up for a few years, there's trade talk here bc with LB and Diaw's extension kicking in next season they will be well into Luxury Tax land the the Suns owner says he won't pay $1 in luxury tax.

Isiah Thomas said...

I don't think the Suns are overrated. They just played terribe after the 1st Q. They've got a deeper bench. I don't think Amare will be a contributor this year which will leave them too vulnerable in the middle.

anonymous said...

their D consists of "hurry let them score so we can get the ball back".

and i too am suspect that Amare will ever return to anywhere near his former self. i think theyre kidding themselves thinking that he will be starting and playing 40+ minutes at any point this year (even in the end).

Isiah Thomas said...

6,10,11,15,19,20,24,28,30,33,38

you might be gay if you know what 15 is right off the bat.

Also isn't 33 corn flakes?

Isiah Thomas said...

if they can get just a few more stops a quarter they can do some damage. Though they've shown they can't do that so who knows.

They're still fun as shit to watch.

ebntx said...

link to mascot quiz answers

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

1. Little Debbie
2. Six Flags
3. Cingular
4. Goodyear
5. Chef Boyardee
6. Amnesty International
7. Earthlink
8. WNBA
9. Chiquita
10. Castle Dental
11. Fiesta
12. Radio Shack
13. Tommy Hilfiger
14. Chase
15. March of Dimes
16. Infiniti
17. Prudential
18. Petsmart
19. Blue Bell
20. Scholastic
21. Napster
22. Quiznos
23. Lowe's
24. Chuy's
25. The WB
26. Cold Stone Creamery
27. Charmin
28. Black Cat Fireworks
29. TGIFriday's
30. Time Warner Cable
31. Harley Davidson
32. T-Mobile
33. Kellogg's Cornflakes
34. Wilson
35. Hyundai
36. NHL
37. Chick-Fil-A
38. Turner Classic Movies
39. Sesame Street
40. US Marine Corps
41. Adidas
42. Black & Decker
43. Geico Insurance
44. Starbucks
45. Subaru
46. John Deere
47. Starkist
48. Tivo
49. Fruit of the Loom
50. Sherwin-Williams

Tyler said...

I am 28 out of 50 right now. 33 is corn flakes. I tried every variation until "kellog's cornflakes" worked. Lame.

Isiah Thomas said...

alright I'll give myself credit for Time Warner and Corn Flakes, but Castle Dental, Chuy's? Never would have gotten those.

whocares said...

WTF is Castle Dental?

They aint got those in my part of the world. Folks here in Alabama aint got no use for no city-fied teeth cleaning place.

Isiah Thomas said...

who else has more links like this, I love retard olympics.

whocares said...

I'm giving myslef credit for that one as well for a score of 40.

Spent five minutes putting in Kelog, Kellogg, KELLOG'S... But forgot to put in cornflakes. BS.

Isiah Thomas said...

Rev and Los don't read #16 in part II of SG's hoops preview.

ebntx said...


>whocares, you guys get your teeth out of the vending machine?

Tyler said...

I think the Suns are fun to watch, but they've got massive problems, mainly like everyone's said, on the defensive side. That's why I think they're overrated because they can only play one style. And when you get into the playoffs, you need to be able to adapt, Like the Mavs (and the Spurs) can play you anyway you want to play.

whocares said...

zeke,

Unfortunately not. Most of the folks around here with teeth like that didnt pay a single cent for them (ever).

It's just God given beauty.

The Rev said...

Already read it Zeke.

We're paying money to Jamal Mashburn. He never even played a game for us. How does this happen?

Isiah Thomas said...

"Telfair (who will evolve into a Barbosa-like scorer once the coach who replaces Doc Rivers in 10 weeks starts bringing him off the bench)"

Not quite sure what SG was smoking when he wrote this. Telfair can't shoot at all.

anonymous said...

most of these logos are classics, but the other ones.. i doubt that those companies even exist.

theyre either super, super old or region specific.

Isiah Thomas said...

we'll see with the Suns, they looked awful last night bc Kurt Thomas got abused by Odom.

A healthy Thomas (he was hurt down the stretch last season) and a little Amare should remedy their inside problems to a degree.

I agree with having to adapt to be a great team. We'll see if they can do it.

anonymous said...

and mad propers to steve for putting up that list.

Isiah Thomas said...

I call poop hands on Steve for getting all 50.

Chuy's?

anonymous said...

yeah, the distinct smell of horse pooky stings the air...

Isiah Thomas said...

23 on golf bitches!

El Padrino said...

SG with the Cavs in the finals

gimme that weed bro

ebntx said...

chuy's..

where the bush twin got busted with the fake id.

The Rev said...

23 on Golf?

What, did you have a herd of cattle shit on your hands or what?

ebntx said...

also that is a tx thing, so i call poop hands on steve too.

anonymous said...

i smell a snorting Longhorn's dung...

anonymous said...

cnn.com headlines, with the surprise of the day....

"Match.com dater charged with 7 more rapes"

ebntx said...

wow, tjw been busy.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

poop hands? i'm not really sure I know what that means?

whocares said...

Wait, just, a damned second!! You telling me people use this very internet to lure people into sexual situations? I'm... I'm just shocked right now. Gimme a minute to catch my breath.

The Rev said...

Candidate for WTF... at least a level 2

ebntx said...

im sorry but i consider my ass worth more than $20.

ToddPacker said...

Steve

"poop hands" = mysterious junk on Kenny Rogers hand during the series; implying that you are cheating.

anonymous said...

Rev, that dude's sick beard is enough to make me stay away.

anonymous said...

20 bones... come on, im white, im american, im stunningly good looking, free of diseases, i own many leatherbound books.. did i mention that im a white american male?

i garner at least $23, no less. if i was a chick, ok.. maybe beth can snag like $30 for being a blonde whitey.. but dont low-ball me with 20.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

ahhhh, poop hands.

Some call it cheating, some call it using all the resources available to you.

whocares said...

It's not even the toursit getting paid is it? They will pay the TRAVEL AGENTS $20 to get whitey over there.

I say you gotta give the agents more than that. If they can talk me into taking my summer vacay to Iran, the agent should get, like, a grand for convincing me.

whocares said...

And some call it poop hands.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

i have my excel settings set to show me all the code in an excel document, so they where already answered for me

ebntx said...

so why did you change the pic anyway steve? a little hate never hurt anyone. we all have some issues with others teams here. feel free to display your love for jj.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

LOL, actually, I was waiting till they play tomorow night, and I'll think I put the pic up of the high scorer, might make it my LOV theme or something.

The Rev said...

Three words for the president of Iran...

shave your cheeks!

ToddPacker said...

One disadvantage to the Meiz column,

+/- 20 scrolls to get to the comments link.

That's Rev territory.

Martin VanNostrand said...

and his face as well

Isiah Thomas said...

TP, I put today's comments page as a bookmark.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

tp i was just thinking the same thing. I'm getting cramps in my index finger.

ToddPacker said...

good thinking zeke...i'll try that out

Martin VanNostrand said...

the face comment was for el presidente de la Iran but is funny if you read it as a disadvantage to the Meiz column as well.

anonymous said...

i used the Page Down key more today than i ever have in the past.

ToddPacker said...

by the way, 23 in golf is crazy

i guess you're not going to stop until you hit 18

Isiah Thomas said...

18 would be damn near impossible as I'd gack it up.

I think 20 or 21 is feasible however.

ToddPacker said...

have you figured out hole 4...i've never got an ace on that hole

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I was obligated to talk about 30 teams. What did you expect? I tried not to make it long-winded.

Isiah Thomas said...

I've only got 2 "1's" on it.

whocares said...

Zeke I'm impressed. If I was the guy with the 24 I would be just sitting and waiting for some chump to beat it. Not you, poop hands. You are constantly striving for the 18.

And do you think every hole has a possible "1"? There are some I'm not even close on.

ebntx said...

so zeke, you have a real job?

Martin VanNostrand said...

You rocked it Meiz! 30 teams is a lot of ground to cover and you got it right, many people don't care who's in the bottom 10 so why waste many words on it.

Isiah Thomas said...

4 is the hardest to get a 1 followed by 14 and 17.

I run streaky on 9 and 13. 14 sometimes give me fits if I need a par.

Isiah Thomas said...

I'm in an office and my comp faces away from foot traffic and i close the blinds in the windows so you can't see the glare off the window.

Isiah Thomas said...

you can get 1's on every hole, getting them all on the same round however would be damn near impossible.

ebntx said...

best thing about it is excel so it looks like work when it is minimized.

ToddPacker said...

Anyone else close to O.D.ing on chocolate, peanut butter, caramel and nougat?


I don’t think I’ve had a candy bar in the past 6 months, but today everyone decides to bring in the crap they didn’t give out yesterday and I’m throwing back mini-candy-bars like crack.

I think I need to go purge.

The Rev said...

"+/- 20 scrolls to get to the comments link.

That's Rev territory."

Aw, gimmie a break! I've been good lately.

Martin VanNostrand said...

removing the glare is key. My bro and I used to tie blankets over exterior doors, put pillows in windows, anything for perfect lighting.

El Padrino said...

i've eaten at least 20-30 little bags of m&m's

Isiah Thomas said...

Not sure if they'll show this on the national telecast but Ced Ceballos does the pregame intro's for the Suns games.

"Suns fans, up....up..."

El Padrino said...

i miss Ced

Martin VanNostrand said...

The Hot Tamales and mini Snickers where flowing here.

My kid didn't each much candy last night. She's just a toddler so we only took her a few places on the block but that morning deuce was insane. I bet the diaper weighed a solid 3 pounds. That's a lot of dooky for a 28lb kid.

ebntx said...

thanks for that martin.

temwr said...

The SG has a brewing fued with Kenny Smith? Does K. Smith really care?

Martin VanNostrand said...

No prob eb, you've been there I'm sure. We have to drop some fatherly knowledge from time to time.

ToddPacker said...

20-30 bags of m&ms...good for you EP

anyone remember the rectangular shaped baseball lollipops. i think they where banana flavored? good stuff...i don't think they make them anymore

Martin VanNostrand said...

tem - yeah, supposedly Smith tried to call him out on TNT and challenge him to a game of 1 on 1 after last years league. I don't remember where Smith placed but it wasn't good. I'm sure he didn't get beat by star jones.

temwr said...

I think Smith was dead last.

Haha, he got beat in fantasy hoops so challenged SG to a game of 1 on 1?

Martin VanNostrand said...

Somebody at TNT must have given him word that SG kept mentioning it in his columns. I guess Kenny got pissed and said "let's see him beat me in 1 on 1" or something like that while doing a halftime report or something.

temwr said...

Oh, sounds like the SG is making it sound cooler than it is.

Anyway, props to meiz for the preview. It was solid. Especially wierd if you read it after you read the 2 SG columns, they are eerily similar in some parts...

Isiah Thomas said...

there's no chance Kenny Smith even looked at that fantasy league once last year, while SG was making moves everyday.

SG is dorking out on this.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I think its kind of shitty for Kenny to not have looked at that FL. I'm pretty sure there was some MAJOR charity dollars on the line. It makes him look like an ass in my eyes.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
anonymous said...

lets just point out that anybody with DirecTV, they have NBA league pass free preview this week. peep game.

and did u know that grant hill is still in the league... good to see.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

Grant Hill, the unluckiest athlete ever.

I don't care much for the LBJ commercials, but I really like it "it takes 5" commercial

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Digital cable gets the free preview too

temwr said...

I'm glad you all are here to point out this free try out thing. I hadn't heard a peep about it until now.

I am going to go see if I get it.

temwr said...

Bah, Tim Warner bastards, I get no free league pass preview.

Although I do get a league pass preview channel which is the gayest thing ever.

temwr said...

It is commercial after commerical, no game.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

I'm liking the ver..dude, he's a hustler, he finds a way. I'm digging him, hate his fucking hair though.

Isiah Thomas said...

I hope verajarajaauaaua tears both his ACL's at once. Fuck that guy.

Isiah Thomas said...

is it just me or is the audio on the rim louder than ever so far this year?

OldHassRadborn said...

Impressive preview Meiz. Patterson already looks like the best player on the Bucks.

Isiah Thomas said...

what kind of pussy shit is that - the Mavs won't raise their Western Conference banner against the Spurs?

WTF? That is some serious pussy shit.

Isiah Thomas said...

Gil is taking this Agent 0 thing too literally. Score some fucking pts Gil.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I have time warner digital. I'm getting all the games.

JFreak said...

Not enough attention was paid to the idea of Mike Tyson taking over for Bob Barker.

I laughed for a good 2 minutes on that one.

Isiah Thomas said...

LBJ will have a MONSTER season.

First, he's that beast.

Second, he's already getting playoff type calls.

Once he gets the calls defenders will be scurred to d him up. Once they give him that extra step its over.

Isiah Thomas said...

thank god for the local feed - no Bill Walton.

Isiah Thomas said...

who's the commish for fantasy hoops? Take Tech's off as a category.

Isiah Thomas said...

You reward the big man when he runs the floor, BOOM.

JFreak said...

I was gonna cop out and say "I don't know how" but that's a load of crap.

It pretty much boils down to the fact I hate Rasheed Wallace and this is a way I can punish him and anyone with the unfortunance to own him.

Deal with it.

JFreak said...

Plus, Stern implicated that new "Techs for Whining" policy. So it's gonna be in play a lot.

temwr said...

Why the fuck don't I get the games then? I have the whole freakin nine yards of digital HD and all that jazz. All I get is channels saying "hey dipshit NBA league pass is a subscription service" and a preview channel with Bronny and Wadey telling me what their favorite league pass moment was...like they ever watch it. I am super pissed now.

ToddPacker said...

Knicks start out 1-0 with an ugly win.

How long will Zeke's 1st place ride last?

D. Lee 13 boards and 10 points...nice opening game.

temwr said...

Oh, we want less tech's in the FBBL. I thought the more the better. I was jazzed about that. But it is the other way around.

this day sucks.

El Padrino said...

greg anthony = retard

because the cavs beat the Wiz at home, when Arenas had 7 pts., he says "why can't this team compete for a championship", then you wonder why I dont watch any pre-game or post-game stuff from these cats. They all belong on the short bus.

And oh, Sports Douche...yeah Q-rich is so fat and out of shape. I know, 31 points, 56 minutes and gaurded Mike Miller into 18 points and had the winning free throws.
19 wins my ass, i know it;s one game, i know im a homer but the knicks win at least 30 games.
fuck you bill

hi bill

Isiah Thomas said...

freak I'm all for ball dipping Rasheed but if someone loses bc of tech's.....

and for Rasheed - I think he'll get suspended for the year. He'll def get tossed from at least 20 games this year. On his 20th game he'll Sprewell a ref.

whocares said...

I'm not in the fantasy league, but from what I saw last night, tech's will definitely be a factor.

On one call, Livingston just shrugged his shoulders and got the T-bomb thrown on him.

Isiah Thomas said...

In my opinion, that's the exact reason they shouldn't be a category, lame ass refs slapping T's on people for no reason.

Isiah Thomas said...

where's Rev stepping up to the plate? Now that he's lost his Suicide Pool crutch he'll have to man up.

Bring what ya got Rev.

Isiah Thomas said...

this is from my hometown paper, HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

These are my people

Martin VanNostrand said...

Zeke you are right, the rim mic sounds much louder. I swear they even put a reverb effect on the missed free throws.

El Padrino said...

long live Willie

Horses smarter than humans?

Martin VanNostrand said...

El P you gotta a prediction on Louisville/WV tonight? Last years game was insane.

Martin VanNostrand said...

"Humans abuse their power while horses use theirs only for good."

That's some good peyote Willie.

Martin VanNostrand said...

This one was great too.

"When horse accepted man onto his back and chose to carry his burdens, it changed the world."

Chose to, beaten and rode into submission, whatever.

Isiah Thomas said...

EP - great fucking link.

Jesus christ this guy is out there.

"When horses accepted man on their backs..." W-T-F.

Honestly, I don't get how there are hunger problems in the world.

There are a ton of horses, birds, fish, etc to eat. You're telling me some homeless guy or starving person would eat a horse if given the chance? Or a pigeon or another bird? Starve or eat Lassie? Shit, I'm bbq's that sumbitch every time. Every time.

Isiah Thomas said...

I can see Willie going up to a horse, staring right into its eyeball and going "will you accept me on your back?"

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Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino