Thursday, October 19, 2006

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Column

I don't care about baseball anymore. Beltran your dead to me.

This is going to be quick, I have a serious test to take in about 6 hours that I am sure I will fail. And I already wasted half the night on the pathetic Mets who made Jeff Suppan look like Warren Spahn. Go fuck yourself St. Louis.

College
PENN STATE -18 over Illini ($50)
UCF -5.5 over Rice ($25)
Rutgers +6.5 over PITT ($25)

Pro
Eagles -5 over Bucs ($50)- Iggles better than Bungles

SEAHAWKS -6.5 over Vikes ($50)- Tough place to play

San Diego -5.5 over KC ($25)- Fuck Arrowhead, SD is real good

CLEVELAND +5 over Broncos ($25)- trap game for Broncs

MIAMI/Packers under 40 ($25)- real barnburner here folks

Just Teasing
Browns +17
Hawk/Vike game over 29
Pack +17
Pitts +10

Long weekend, after test going to the Pocono house. Have a good one.

Hi Bill.

151 comments:

Isiah Thomas said...

that ump seemed a little too eager to ring up the mets in the 9th.

Isiah Thomas said...

alright so Pujols has herpes...

JFreak said...

You know what I don't get? The Cardinals weren't even supposed to make the playoffs. They were so crappy at the end of the year. How do they go from that to making the World Series.

Beth82678 said...

I know this is from yesterday's comments, but I just had to say Rev that your "good with your hands" comment cracked me up. :-) Technically though it's mostly just 1 finger, but oh the things I can do with that 1 finger...

And my condolences el pad. As a Braves fan I've had the same heartache for 12 of the 13 previous seasons so I can totally sympathize.

Go Tigers. (That's for iam and plus, I just don't like LaRussa.)

THE CHAMP. said...

Tigers in 5

that is all.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I totally noticed Poo Holes' herp. That shit is NASTY!!

THE CHAMP. said...

I will say this about the Mets, what other team could have lost every decent pitcher they have and still made it to game 7 of the NLCS? I know it's not worth anything to say, but I still applaud the Mets for making it that far.

If Pedro pitches that game the Mets are in the Series.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

All the umps were eager. They totally didn't want to be in the rain. And, my boy Beltran... Damn homie, swing the fuckin stick.

anonymous said...

im sorry EP.

i thought the mets were gonna do it.. how do u watch a called strike 3? ever, really... but bottom 9, playoffs?... gotta swing at anything close.

anonymous said...

and i wanna point out that the NFL "dirty bomb" hoax this weekend was taken off some message board...

Hi FBI!

temwr said...

I couldn't believe Beltran didn't swing the lumber at that 3rd strike.

Did anyone else notice on Rolen's error that McCarver was adamant about the error being caused by Rolen thinking of going to second, but when they showed the replay there wasn't any doubt he was going to first all the way? He just airmailed the ball. It was awesome.

I went with Denver in my suicide pool, so given recent history Cleveland +5 is probably a very solid bet.

anonymous said...

glad to see the herpes in HD wasnt missed...

The Rev said...

The lesson from last night is...

not only do you never look at a called third strike with two outs and the bases loaded, you REALLY never look at a called third strike with two outs and the bases loaded... and it's raining and the umps really want to go home.

Swing at the damn pitch, no matter what!

Really, that's Pat Burrell shit right there! And you don't want to be lumped into the same category as Pat Burrell.

thejaywhite said...

I was really hoping mets would pull it out and put pedro on the WS roster..love watching him pitch..I hope the tigers take this one.

temwr said...

It is true that ump seemed a little too eager to ring beltran up, but that was without a doubt a strike. No argument there.

But really, that freakin' catch by the Met's left fielder was AWESOME.

jugdish said...

I don't think Pedro will be back until midway through next season. El Duque said he would be able to pitch in the World Series though.

Come on Beltran, its the NLCS...foul those off at least for THE LOVE OF GOD!

Cam said...

The Cardinals are going to win the Series. Too many people are jumping on the Tigers bandwagon for something bad not to happen.

anonymous said...

well Cam, then im officially kicking everyone's asses off the bandwagon.. cause we gotta take it.

so im unhitching the trailer.

pace!

thejaywhite said...

naw MLB is rigged..in 5 years this is whats happened..

white sox, red sox , tigers WS winners.

MArlins won when they were about to be folded, and bonds loses in game 7 ....way to much of a coincidence

Cam said...

If it is rigged, then the Cubs will have to win next year. It's the 100 year anniversary since their last WS win.

Isiah Thomas said...

Pujols herpes was just nasty. Dude is def getting some dirty strange on the road.

temwr said...

I bet tomorrow LaRussa and Suppan are sporting some nasty herpes too.

The Rev said...

Worst rated football player in Madden 07 writes a letter to John Madden... and torches his ass!

Zeke will love this cause the player is on the Redskins... Ethan Albright.

But this classifies as must read. Los found it on his blog.

Cam said...

Whose herpes are worse, Pujols or thejaywhite? Just wondering. I didn't see the game or the herpes last night.

The Rev said...

So as it stands, a team that won less games in the regular season than the Philadelphia Phillies is representing the NL in the World Series.

I will now use my Swingline stapler on my desk and punch staples into my eye.

Spaceman Spiff said...

i cant believe the team that made the HR robbing catch did not win the game, when does that ever happen.

Spaceman Spiff said...

fuck kirby puckett

Spaceman Spiff said...

dont know if you guys already know but SG had a running diary of the game

anonymous said...

did he let his wife do a column too?

Los said...

Thanks for giving me those props, Smokin' - I was gonna post that link on the message board. It was downright hysterical!

thejaywhite said...

jay whites been lucky so far..usually if a girls that dirty idont turn the lights off til after i get a decent look at the bottom

The Rev said...

Just so you know... our new podcast is up.

And I sound like I'm on drugs during the whole thing.

Maybe it's because I was on drugs for the whole thing.

These muscle relaxers kick ass!

ToddPacker said...

A big WTF to Beltran...swing the F*cking bat..

Great catch by Endy

How the hell do you lose to Suppan, Yadier and a rookie reliever...I hope the D knocks the herpes off poohole's steriod riddled face

Good luck on the test EP, it's going to take a couple of days maybe weeks to get over that loss. I couldn't even sleep last night. Lets hope the Mets come back with a vengeance next year.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

speaking of vengeance, what happend to MOV?

The Rev said...

Good question, Steve.

Only Mound can answer that.

Cam said...

MOV is giving it the old DB try.

Isiah Thomas said...

Down at Fraggle Rock

anonymous said...

(down at fraggle rock)

clap clap.

ToddPacker said...

Fraggle Rock...brings back some childhood memories

Just read SportsDoucheBagGuy running diary. Once again he proves that he sucks. Same Jokes over and over again, crybaby Boston references and a whole lot of nothing. Go back to the Kimmel job and stop writing the same article, blog, diary, movie review or picks column over and over again. You my friend have become tiresome. Maybe I’m still bitter from game 7.


Oh and Hiiiii Bill (in that crazy alice lady from the stern show’s voice)

Isiah Thomas said...

TP def has the bitter beer face working today.

anonymous said...

day after a game 7 loss, youre excused.

and how long can billy go on rehashing? time has got to be running out...

ToddPacker said...

Very bitter.

Go Tigers!

ToddPacker said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ToddPacker said...

Rev and/or Los

At least the Bolts beat up your Flyers last night...I know it's only the NHL and it's early, but I need to stop thinking about Beltran watching a rookie strike him out looking with the bases loaded in the bot. of the 9th in game 7 .....oh crap, I can't stop thinking about it.

I'm downloading the podcast now, hopefully it puts me in a better mood.

El Padrino said...

Goodbye world.
I failed like Beltran.

Spaceman Spiff said...

at least you swung the bat

El Padrino said...

i really cant even talk about this without something really, really bad happening to my keyboard or anything that surronds me, so i will choose not to.

enjoy all my brothers and sisters, it's for the better

temwr said...

MLS is still playing? And has playoffs soon? I thought that league folded.

Spaceman Spiff said...

was this posted yet, WTF WTF WTF of Day

The early part of the book tells how Simpson fell in love with Nicole and how the marriage collapsed, reports the tab. He goes on, according to the article, to describe in gruesome detail the killing of his ex-wife and Goldman; he stipulates that the murder scenes are “hypothetical.” But, notes the tab, the descriptions are “so detailed and so chillingly realistic” that readers are left with little doubt as to what really happened.

temwr said...

OJ news is always WTF news.

ToddPacker said...

That sucks EP. Blame it on the Mets. I could barely get out of bed the morning, so how could you be expected to take a friggin test.

The Rev said...

ElP...

go to your happy place now!

Think of Jessica Alba's ass!

The Rev said...

Todd...

I have no idea what to thnk of the Flyers. I can't even bring myself to watch them yet. They kept the same slow defensive team as last season, and Forsberg can't stay 100%. It's disgusting.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Meiz + Tupac x Fleishmann's Vodka = Terror in the suburbs. Yes, I'm almost drunk and listening to Pac.


"Niggas don't know my style, quick to smile, juvenile, was a problem child, tried to put me in the cross but, my force was wild. Bitch-made ass niggas don't know my style."

anonymous said...

uuuuuh!!

y'all feelin it or whut!! uuhhhh!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Whut whut!!

ToddPacker said...

Meiz

It's too early to be hitting the booze....I'm jealous

Isiah Thomas said...

Fleishmann's Vodka

You stay classy Meiz.

Isiah Thomas said...

is that the same company that makes the margerine?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Hot damn! I love "Fuck All Y'all"!

Money gone, fuck friends. I need a homie that know me when all these muthafuckin cops be on me. I got problems. Ain't nobody callin back. Now what the fuck is happenin with my ballin cats? Remember me, I'm your homie that was down to brawl, sippin' hennesy hangin with the clowns and all, a nigga just got paid but we still was broke.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm not paying a premium on no damn ass booze. It's way better than some of the other shit out there. Flavor isn't a concern when you drink it with coke. Fuck all y'all!!!

ToddPacker said...

I'm guessing Fleishmann's is going to induce a wallop of a hangover.

The Rev said...

At least he's not drinking Thunderbird.

temwr said...

Fleishmann's is smooth as butter.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I drink vodka because it's the least likely to give you a hangover. It's science.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'll take a vote. What's next? T.I., NWA, Mos Def, Eric B & Rakim, Gnarls Barkley, Obie Trice, Ice Cube's "Predator"?

temwr said...

I'm a fan of vodka.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Well done, Tem.

The Rev said...

I say NWA

anonymous said...

some bars in the D are planning to open tomorrow at 10am just so u can come grab a seat.

downtown is gonna be packed.

my ticket buying potential is going further downhill as we speak....

temwr said...

From Simmons article today:
"The whole "whatever happened five minutes ago was the biggest thing that ever happened" school of making sports arguments has to be one of the most annoying sports media trends of this decade. I can't handle it anymore."

Umm, I wonder which former page 2 writer he is referring to.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

need more votes.

anonymous said...

i'll vote for Niggers With Attitude.

although propers go out to Mos Def for being the only quality rapper/actor around.

Isiah Thomas said...

I haven't read the article yet but that is a direct shot at Shan-hoff.

No doubt Shan-hoff will respond with a

"What do YOU think of this comment and WHY" post.

Isiah Thomas said...

I ain't playing no honkey ball.

Name that movie.

Isiah Thomas said...

meiz wtf are you asking? dumb it down for me.

Isiah Thomas said...

excuse me let me rephrase.

Meiz wtf are you axing. dumb it down for me.

anonymous said...

Hi Bill,

Nice not-so-veiled attack on Shanoff. Glad you agree with us.

Hope you like the blog.

Love,

The Gang.

Isiah Thomas said...

what to listen to next?

This is my melody.

anonymous said...

ZEKE, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?!?!?!

Isiah Thomas said...

iam it would be

What is YOUR favorite color, and WHY?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Yes, what to listen to.

Isiah Thomas said...

iam...NWA with the a not the er.

Isiah Thomas said...

THIS IS MY MELODY.

temwr said...

Ice Cube

Isiah Thomas said...

I saw some like Rap-u-mentary hosted by Fab 5 Freddy on MTV 2 last weekend. It was surprisingly quality.

Isiah Thomas said...

do you have any Kool G Rap and Polo?

Isiah Thomas said...

I vote Redhead Kingpin if you have it Meiz.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

sorry, no Kool G Rap.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

NWA-2

Rakim-1

Cube-1

anonymous said...

damnit zeke, i NEED to KNOW what YOUR favorite COLOR is.

what do YOU say EVERYBODY????

The Rev said...

Temwr posted it before i did. I was gonna bring that up.

Yeah, immediately thought of Shanoff when I saw that. It was definitely a direct shot. Not even a question.

The Rev said...

I like orange because it always tastes good as a Lifesaver.

temwr said...

Damn that Sports Gal. Again it wasn't a bad read.

Simmons gets more points for calling out Shanoff though.

The judges score Round 7, Sports Guy 10, Sports Gal 9

Isiah Thomas said...

Don't forget to say WHY its your fav color. WHY WHY WHY WHY?

anonymous said...

meiz,

thrown on some EPMD. their song "you had too much to drink" is a classic.

Isiah Thomas said...

Put in some Rob Bass Meiz.

HIT IT.

Isiah Thomas said...

EPMD indeed.

May I also suggest a litte Mobb Deep?

temwr said...

Well Dan, purple is my favorite color because it is northwestern's color and they are just awesome. Like you...you are my hero. best.writer.ever. haha. I can't believe you don't have a job.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Mobb Deep isn't wahat I'm looking for right now.

Isiah Thomas said...

tem I've giving you a cyber standing o for that response.

Best.response.ever.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Okay fuck it. Predator then NWA Greatest hits.

Isiah Thomas said...

maybe some BBD then?

Never trust a big butt and a smile....

The Rev said...

I just peeked at Shanoff's blog for the hell of it.

In the comments section, the question is asked who is the worst World Series team ever and why? Yep, total Shanoff question.

But what really got to me is that there are people in that comments section picking teams like the 87 Twins and 88 Dodgers as worst WS teams ever.

Are you shitting me???

If you're going to pick the worst WS teams, I think a prerequisite should be that the team lost the damn series.

I wanna post over there and call them all names. But that would give him another comment.

Isiah Thomas said...

your pic goes along with the intro...

.....bend over, grab your ankles and give me two good coughs.


or is that from Lethal Injection?

Isiah Thomas said...

rev don't mess with the lemmings. Leave them be.

The Rev said...

If Bryan doesn't get his act together, we might have the first ever suicide pool elimination due to not getting your pick in.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

No, that's from The Predator. Just heard it.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Walkin, walkin in my big black boots.

anonymous said...

ahHH!HH! iTs ThE WuRSt TeAm EvAr!!!!111!!

yeah, just like the Mets pitcher last night was called the worst ever (statistically).

say what you will, but he pitched a hell of a game 7. cant ask for much more.

shanoff is officially unreadable, too. waaaaaaay too many knee-jerk reactions, and not enough stuff to back it up.

it just reaks of desperation to stir shit up. make a valid argument/statement and just go with it.. dont just jump from bandwagon to bandwagon.

like "frank thomas for AL MVP". yes, he was good for a stretch there.. but look at the Tigers series. negro pleeze.

anonymous said...

hey rev, is bryan = bryan2857, or the plain "bryan"?

temwr said...

Chavez's catch.

wait for it.......

wait....


best.catch.ever!!!!

Isiah Thomas said...

I did spear head the Frank Thomas for AL MVP train before he did. Just wanted to go on record. And I tried to back it up with some sort of analysis.

Isiah Thomas said...

most.ashamed.feeling.ever.

temwr said...

I'd still vote for F. Thomas.

Under the banner of ABJ.

Isiah Thomas said...

iam you're so right, whenever you read these.type.of.comments - you need to do it with a valley girl accent....extremely funny.

evaaaaarrrrr

Isiah Thomas said...

spear head used incorrectly there....

spear head is one of those words that only works with a few others...

spear head and movement

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I think Ice Cube may have coined "It's on like Donkey Kong". I find that a lot of albums that I didn't think were that good in Highschool are pretty fuckin good.

The Rev said...

It's Bryan2857.

The guy who doesn't have the yellow and blue shirt.

Isiah Thomas said...

Doggystyle.

Best.Rap.Album.Evar

temwr said...

It's on like donket kong has made its way into country music now.

I don't think rappers would want to say it anymore since country stars use it.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I disagree. There are too many great albums out there. I'm not a fan of 'Greatest Ever' music arguements.

The Rev said...

I'll let Bryan have time through tonight since I really don't want anyone going down like that.

But if there's no pick in there tomorrow when I check in, then no dice!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

It Was A Good Day. Sing along, y'all.

Isiah Thomas said...

good pt Meiz, Doggystyle was pret-tay pret-tay pret-tay good though.

Isiah Thomas said...

mama cooked a breakfast wif no hog

anonymous said...

just called bryan, his vote is in...

The Rev said...

A phone pick... that's a first.

I'll allow that. I forgot you two were tight.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I have an Idea. A weekly vote for Meiz's drinking tunes post. I'll submit a group of albums, and, just post your vote. Rev, thoughts?

Martin VanNostrand said...

What up fools? I'm back. Nepal was sic. I've been playing mad catchup at work so I'm just getting back on here. Looks like I missed out on a ton. Miez rock the NWA. Zeke got me rolling with Red Head King Pin though.

Roaches Roaches Roaches everywhere
They didn't even run they wasn't even scared. One of them hit me, one of them kicked me, one stole my wallet and ran away quickly!

Isiah Thomas said...

MV welcome back my good man.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Warren G. "Regulate...G Funk Era."

The Rev said...

Martin is back... let the good times roll!

Meiz, I like doing it in here in the comments. It gets the thread rolling. I say just pop it up here and let us vote in here.

Isiah Thomas said...

if ya smoke like I smoke then ya high like everyday....and if your azz is a busta 213 will regulate

The Rev said...

Gotta roll myself.

See you all on Sunday, bitches!

The Rev said...

The next stop is the Eastside Motel!

Martin VanNostrand said...

I can't believe they've taken Lawrence Welch...

I can't believe there was a TO OD/suicide thing and Lidel died flying a plane into a building. Talked to my bro last night and he caught up on all this wacked out stuff. I could probably spend all weekend reading what I missed here. Glad to see I went 2-1 in FFL while out. I can live with that.

Martin VanNostrand said...

I'm out. Good to be back for 3 comments and get in befor the closing bell.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Jalepeno Poppers!

ToddPacker said...

best line from "It was a good day":
"drunk as hell but no throwin up"

Go Tigers !! Beat the Herpes out of the Cards this weekend

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Good to have Marty back.

Spaceman Spiff said...

you can sit a cup on jessica biel's ass

booty

booty again

Isiah Thomas said...

Sweet Commando Game

temwr said...

I bet infinity dollars that DS writes.

Biggest.Comeback.Ever.

Isiah Thomas said...

Karl Dorrell should be fired immediately. If not put to death.

Isiah Thomas said...

Peter King's skunk patch makes me laugh.

Isiah Thomas said...

DID PHILLY JUST LOSE ON A LAST SECOND 62 YD FG? WOW.

Isiah Thomas said...

we've got siragusa in the booth for the Cards game with someone other no-name! It's a new era of Cardinal football!

The Rev said...

Hello? 911?

I'd like to report an attempted murder!

The Philadelphia Eagles are trying to kill me!

The Rev said...

You want a post today? I just put one up.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino