Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Gettin down to business...

Just getting this up and on the board the night before so it can be out there for Wednesday.

First of all, I just want to make this statement as to how our little blog/comments board/chatroom/lawless society is doing over here.

I judge by how many visits we get in a day. And according to the site meter, we got about 170 visits last Thursday, 180 last Friday, then 270 on Monday. At last check on Tuesday night, we were on our way to over 250 again for the day.

It's been a week since we started. Most blogs are lucky to get 10 visitors a day after their first week. We already get over 250 a day this week. That's stunning.

I thank you all, contributors, lurkers, and commenters. Your support here is overwhelming, and appreciated.

Now personally, I plan on making my postings more about you readers. I want my postings to be the day that we feature a guest columnist. I'm willing to give my space to some of you who didn't get the chance to be a contributor at first. So I'm going to encourage you to e-mail me if you are interested in doing guest columns. You would send it to me in an e-mail, then I will post it in my weekly entry with full credit to you of course.

My e-mail is mybigfatf_kinhead@yahoo.com if you are interested. I just want e-mails about whether you are interested or not. I don't want columns yet. I will see who is interested, then I will arrange the details.

I do reserve the right to not post a guest column if it isn't any good. But they will be judged individually. You would have to suck pretty bad to not be used. But there will be a standard or two to uphold in these entries. And once we figure out what the standards are, we'll let you know.

Really, I guess there is only one standard... don't suck.

And make at least 50% of it about sports. OK... two standards.

And don't talk about you-know-who... damn, that's three standards. I'll stop there.

Now really, I'm not trying to act like us 5 contributors are big time writers here or anything. Far from it. We're just a bunch of guys looking for a purpose in the blog world. The standards are not going to be that hard to meet.

Let's face it... if you submit an article to us on 10 reasons that you like cheese, we are not going to use it.

And I have some people in mind for the first guest column. Whoever steps up and takes it will get first crack.

One last thing before I get to topics... if anyone thinks a link should be on the right, e-mail me and let me know. I have some sites linked of people who post here. I'm happy to put up more. Just let me know that you want one.

That's all for that. Now I'll get to some topics to start the comments rolling for Wednesday...

- Well this one is quite simple really. I know some of you have already gone out and gotten Madden 07 and have spent the past 24 hours or so playing it. Me, I have played Madden in past years many times but I have never owned it personally. Tell us what you think. Are you into Madden or not? How is this year's version holding up to past years?

- Secondly, there's a sports related movie coming out this weekend called Invincible, which is the story of former Philadelphia Eagles player Vince Papale. I've been waiting over a year for this movie because Papale actually is from my hometown and came from my high school. My family has a connection with him. Mom has known him over the years, and my aunt even had him as a math teacher. I also interviewed him for a radio show I did 11 years ago. So I am jonesing to see it to see how they portray my area of the world and how they portray him. Any of you have plans to see it?

- So now we have a sprinter, Justin Gatlin, banned for 8 years for banned substances. And this statement from the news story on espn.com kills me...

His coach, Trevor Graham, who has been involved with at least a half-dozen athletes who have received drug suspensions, has contended Gatlin tested positive after a vengeful massage therapist used testosterone cream on the runner without his knowledge.

Yes... a vengeful massage therapist.

What the f**k is a vengeful massage therapist?

That has to rank up there with the all-time great excuses in sports history.

That's even better than Floyds Landis saying his abnormally high testosterone levels are natural.

Even better than Rafael Palmiero saying it was just B-12 vitamins he took.

Even better than Sammy Sosa saying he grabbed the wrong bat when it splintered and the cork went flying.

A vengeful massage therapist... I'd like to meet one of those. I bet that rubdown would be just full of energy.

Enjoy your Wednesday, or as thejaywhite affectionally knows it... Hump Day.

177 comments:

thejaywhite said...

I think the best excuse of all time is dennis mitchell saying he wa up all night having sex with many different women and drinking 6 packs of budweiser......this was to explain his high testosterone test in the late 90s.

Landis stole this excuse this year as one of his many excuses...of course no girls have sex with skinny cyclers so this cant be true.

dh said...

I just spent the last 45 minutes catching up on Tuesday ... seriously guys, 300 posts is unreal!!! (even with kc=db posts, which were fantastic).

I can't add much more, as I'm out of town the next few days, but I just finished watching the Tigers and White Sox's.

Seriously, can somebody clarify how a team that has Ozzie Guillen, Joey Cora, and fucking Tim Raines as coaches won a World Series (GM'd by Ken Williams no less).

Granted, they lost to Kenny Rogers, but this just adds to the whole Twilight Zone experience of watching shitty baseball players lead one of the better teams in baseball.

Bob Kaelin said...

Speaking about Invincible, supposedly they don't even mention Papale's hometown of Glenolden or Interboro or anything of that matter. They make it seem like he was just a bartender from South Philly who made it on the Eagles team as a 30 year old rookie. They don't seem to talk about anything before that from what my dad was hearing. Hopefully that's not true but I wouldn't doubt it. I was reading some interview they did with Papale on-line somewhere and it mentioned on there how he took the interviewer to his ghetto hometown of Glenolden and was happy to finally show people how bad he had it as a kid. Come on, Glenolden a ghetto? I could name 10 towns within a 10 mile radius of Glenolden that is worst. I hope this fame didn't go to his head.

Isiah Thomas said...

First off I'd like to say I'm not an aspiring blogger per se so, Rev, if you get a lot of people wanting to guest post they can use my spot also. I'm looking fwd to adding a few columns though.

As for "Invincible", I like the story. The only cause for concern I have is the liberties Hollywood takes. For instance, I grew up in Northern Va. where the HS in "Remember the Titans" was. I really doubt they won the state title with some double reverse with an injured qb.

Anyway, I'm also a Skins fan so a movie about the Iggles doesn't tug at my heartstrings. Also, the clip of Marky Mark running down the field in a helmet that is 10 sizes too big is a little over the top for me. I'll prob wait for the PPV or DVD version.

For those interested Papale has a chat on ESPN Sportsnation at 2:30 EST. You can find the link on the WWL's homepage.

And Paul Girley Shirley has a chat right after that.

As for Sportsnation I got this place mentioned on a comment there and I've tried spreading the word in other places. I encourage others to do the same.

Great work for a Tuesday LOV.

VIVA!

JFreak said...

I also wouldn't be opposed to having someone spot starting for me.

And about Gatlin...he should just be having a 2-year ban right now. Did you guys hear about his first "doping" offense? He took adderall, after being diagnosed with ADD. The biggest bs doping bust ever. I have ADD, and took that stuff for a couple of years. That just pisses me off...completely disregarding a certified medical condition.

thejaywhite said...

jfreak dont kid yourself..adderall is a banned substance for a reason..like ephedrine it definitely increases performance...

gatlin full well knew this was illegal when he was taking it and if you have a learning disability then you can take drugs that arent illegal and are prescribed by a doctor...

when you are an olympic champion you just dont slip up like this unless you are doing it on purpose for the beneficial effect that adderall gives him.

also of note was that he wasnt diagnosed with ADD until after he was caught...

JFreak said...

I guess I'm just pissed because people try to downplay ADD. It's a real disorder with real afflictions, and some people dismiss it as nothing.

Also, it's great to know I could have competeted at an Olympic level...just didn't know how well Adderall could have helped me. Put myself back on that stuff...start boasting about doping. Yeah, I can totally dig that.

Jay Scott said...

just finished watching USA beat Italy... I guess Benedict Arnold, I mean Sheridan, is freaking out, having to write a new article at the last minute about how USA keeps on winning.

ebntx said...

good post rev

like the idea of letting others guest post

temwr said...

Something I always look forward to hearing is the excuses people come up with.

For instance, I am actually giddy about getting to hear Clarett's excuse for his mess. Yes, giddy.

I want to hear E. Robinson's excuse for getting busted pre-SB and post winning NFL man of the year or whatever...I think it was Robinson.

Athlete's excuses are the highest of high comedy. They are just great.

whocares said...

jfreak,

Isnt ADD just diagnost laziness?

whocares said...

sorry, diagnosed.

jugdish said...

It is funny to see the athletes come up with excuses. They should all take a lesson from Giambi. At least he was man enough to step up and admit he took roids. You never see his name in the papers concerning that anymore.

ebntx said...

giambi never gets mentioned anymore because for the most part he sucks now that he not doping

jugdish said...

36 home runs and 101 RBI is not too shabby...

ebntx said...

you have to admit though that when the yanks got him they wanted those higher numbers since day 1

i'll admit he is having a better year than most, but i don't think that is what the yanks were expecting.

jugdish said...

I agree. The Yankees have a habit of signing big names past their prime. Giambi's best year was in 2000 when he had 43 home runs and 137 RBI and he seems like he will better those this year depending on playing time. His batting average isn't as good now as it was then. I'm not sure he is worth the $20 million the Yankees are paying him, but doesn't everyone on the Yankees make $20 million or more?

mound of venus said...

jay scott--sheridan actually said that the US will have an easy time with the preliminary games--something that more or less HAS occured. What he also said--something I agree with him on--is that the knockout round is going to get exponentially more difficult (true)and that the US will lose the tourney to Spain (maybe).

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I thought Giambi never admitted to steroid use. If you go back to his apology, ne hever said what he was apologizing for.

Isiah Thomas said...

maybe the massage therapist wouldn't give Gatlin a happy ending and he got pissed and punched the bitch in the face....just a thought.

jugdish said...

Giambi never mentioned steroid use in his apology, but he testified that he had used them...so even though he didn't say the word steroids in his apology, I think it was pretty obvious what he was apologizing for. He is also still one of the only active athletes, if not the only active one to admit to it. Then we have Palmiero...

ebntx said...

i think raffy's problem was those little blue pills

shouldn't those be considered performance enhancers?

ebntx said...

funny that he never used that as an excuse

maybe the embarrassment finally of making those commercials got to him

Isiah Thomas said...

Giambi is on HGH, remember, MLB doesn't test for that.

Raffy is just a moron. How do you go to Congress and wag your finger in peoples faces then get busted? Complete idiot. He still hasn't come "clean".

Los said...

I haven't bought a Madden game since 2004 - I just never saw enough improvement to warrant the purchase. Plus, now that they have a monopoly on NFL games, the creativity will be even less.

Very excited about the Papale movie!

thejaywhite said...

giambi is totally back on something.

i loved the one winter when everyone showed up back to spring training like 40lbs lighter and said its cause they wanted tobe quicker

mound of venus said...

isiah--where in NOVA are you from? i too am from there originally.....

temwr said...

They should just allow steroids in baseball. Freeze the record books for pre-steroid era and then make new ones for post steroid era. Allow the players to take them and hit 93,837 foot homeruns.

Isiah Thomas said...

Prince William

Isiah Thomas said...

Who saw Kevan Barlow compare Mike Nolan to Hitler today?

Speak your mind Kevan...

mound of venus said...

i'm from mclean--went to langley...you?

JFreak said...

In no way is it diagnosed laziness. This is exactly the point I was trying to make. For a lot of people, ADD is a serious problem that affects their daily life.

http://tinyurl.com/pr6oy
http://tinyurl.com/p5azp

Martin VanNostrand said...

I think Invincible looks to be a good flick. A buddy of mine's pop tried out as kicker during all of that. Didn't even come close. Who wouldn't show up for open tryouts though? Sounds like a nice little Saturday if your not going to Home Depot or Bed Bath and Beyond (if you have the time).

On the flip side I am not too psyched about "Crossover" unless it's the EPMD song. I can handle 30 minutes of And1 but paying $8 for an hour and a half of it is out of the question.

thejaywhite said...

ya its a serious problem for 6 year olds..its called bad parenting

Isiah Thomas said...

I had a friend in college who got "diagnosed" with ADD so he could get an adderol prescription, we ended up popping those things like M&M's and/or crushing them up and snorting them down. That stuff will get your motor going that's for sure.

Honestly, wouldn't 10 minutes of running around outside help a kid concentrate more?

Isiah Thomas said...

CD Hylton HS

The Rev said...

I figured it out...

thejaywhite is actually Tom Cruise.

Screw psychology, just whack the kids in the ass more often, right Tom?

Isiah Thomas said...

I think thejaywhite is onto something...

a good slap to the head will either get your kid to concentrate or give him something to cry about.

"....or you'll taste the back of my hand" is not used enough in parenting today.

GM-Carson said...

Back to the real world for me today. That's right, I'm currently at work. Summer vacation has ended for Mr. Carson, so I trade in my laziness for pain-in-the-ass kids...fun!

Martin VanNostrand said...

I would like to see the And1 crew play an actual game by the rules with real refs against say the D-II college champs. That I would pay $8 for.

The Rev said...

Couple more things...

Bobby Kaelin brought up an interesting point (and he's one of my Glenolden peeps)... I'm going to be interested to see if they portray this area as a ghetto in Invincible. Because even though I come from a town where there isn't a lot of money, it is firmly middle class and most of it is far from ghetto. I'm going to watch that part of it like a hawk. I'll be sure to file a report.

Secondly, I do appreciate some of the other guys willing to give up their slots sometimes to guest columnists. For now, let's just make it for my slot. I need to gauge the demand first. If demand gets overwhelming, then we will divide up more guest slots between us. I got two responses so far. I won't say who. I want it to be a surprise.

The Rev said...

I tasted the back of a hand a few times as a kid. Not fun at all.

But a whack in the head is a little too much. You don't want to scramble a kid's brains. A whack in the ass should still be acceptable.

thejaywhite said...

ADD is a total scam..i also had a roommate who shared his ridilin with us in college, and he only got diagnosed with it so that he could get unlimited time to write exams at college, and what did he do in this extra time during the exam..he used it to pull cheat sheets out of his pants.

Im sure there are some extreme cases of ADD but for the most part its a scam...its like me saying I have been diagnosed with a bad temper so I should be allowed to cross check and trip people all day in hockey eh

Spaceman Spiff said...

landis didnt have high level of testosterone, just very low level of epitestosterone, so his ratio test-epitest was way too high.

Isiah Thomas said...

its either gonna be the cold hand of reality slapping the kid at somepoint or my hand....I think they'd take it better if it was from me..

for the record, I don't have any kids

Spaceman Spiff said...

redskins got duckett. 3rd down short yardage conversion percentage up, check. goal line conversion up, check.

ebntx said...

i have never understand what these athletes are thinking...do they think they won't get tested ever?

ebntx said...

Spaceman Spiff said...
redskins got duckett. 3rd down short yardage conversion percentage up, check. goal line conversion up, check.

clinton portis...damn

Isiah Thomas said...

as a Skins fan I love the move.

Spaceman Spiff said...

as a skins fan, i also love it, as a guy who just drafted portis on my fantasy team, looks like ill get duckett too.

Isiah Thomas said...

re: Madden

I bought an XBOX 360 earlier in the year, but recently sold it. Madden was one of the games I had. It was fun, I hadn't played vid-ye games since N64 for the 360 was an eye-opener.

I didn't play Madden that much because I didn't want to invest the time to learn all the intricacies it takes. Since I hadn't been playing the franchise I had to start from scratch.

I stuck to other games where I got to shoot Nazi's in the head.

I'm still not sure having a sweet vid-ye game qualifies you for the HOF like it did for Madden.

thejaywhite said...

spaceman you are wrong...landis had synthetic testosterone in his system..he came out and tried to cover it up saying it was epitestosterone caused by cortisone...then WADA came out and said no...it was synthetic test..which is not produced naturally so there is no defense for this.

whocares said...

I snorted more Ritalin in college than I care to discuss. That stuff is like crack for studying. Hit a few of those and you could study for three days straight.

Imagine the last scene in Scarface. That was me before finals every semester...

Spaceman Spiff said...

thejaywhite,

sweet. the landis story kind of disappeared, did they strip him of the title yet.

ebntx said...

why doesn't someone come up with some alternative leagues where all performance enhancers are allowed?

at the end of each season the champs from those leagues could play each mlb, nfl, etc. and then we could see who the real winners are...any comments?

anonymous said...

we'll have to give the Rev a 1,000 word limit.

Martin VanNostrand said...

I don't know about ADD but I think Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a scam. I bet most people who "suffer" from it have bad eating habits, don't exercise and have poor sleeping patterns. The lone athletic exception to my knowledge is that chick on the US Womens World Cup squad back in 99. She was oldest team member though so I think that had something to do with it as well.

anonymous said...

i with ebmtnsksdxwhatever.. Big Tex. create an alternate drug league and let's see how crazy we can get with altering the human body. live and learn!

temwr said...

All of my fantasy players get hurt.

I have Duckett.

Don't be too excited about the deal, he will be hurt in 5 weeks.

Roster last year:
Westbrook, D Jax, Moss, T. Jones, Battle, Horn, all were hurt at some time last year. There are more too, but I have successully suppressed those memories.

thejaywhite said...

i had a teammate in collge with chronic fatigue and mono and to be honest i think he was just depressed


as for landis..he has officially been stripped..the only person left is marion and her B sample is tested sept 5

thejaywhite said...

bill simmons mail bag!!!

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spaceman Spiff said...

an italian player told wade "there is only one jordan" haha. yea, but wade is still a million times better than youll ever be and makes a hundred times more money than you.

Spaceman Spiff said...

pat riley is coming back

The Rev said...

Hey...

If you count my words, I believe I'm under a thousand.

I think I'm at 970. I counted the lines and estimated it.

The Rev said...

TJ Duckett...

As a Philadelphia eagles fan, I hate the move.

As a guy who drafted Duckett for my fansasy team as my 4th running back, I'm wondering if this means he gets more touches or less. Anyone have a thought?

temwr said...

The same amount of touches.

The Simmons mailbag was good. B+.

A few stupid ass questions and responses and a few awesome questions. Solid B+.

Isiah Thomas said...

Depends on Portis' and Betts' health.

Realistically those two should be ahead of him, with Duckett getting shortyardage and goaline touches.

He may have lesser touches but more scoring opportunities. As a 4th back he's a good pick-up.

I told some friends the Skins should get Duckett a few weeks ago before Portis got hurt. Have him be the Thunder to Portis' lightning.

When the Skins last went to the Superbowl they had Gerald Riggs and Earnest Byner - a great combo.

Isiah Thomas said...

I think Simmons' best work comes from mailbags and diaries. Some of his columns have lost some steam or get too Boston centric.

Spaceman Spiff said...

betts might be on his way out, they were talking contract extension since hes in his last year, but then a week later they get duckett.

Isiah Thomas said...

and the Rev is an Iggles fan? The news just keeps getting better.

Isiah Thomas said...

maybe Betts' hamstring injury is worse than they've let on too?

how long is Duckett under contract for?

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
temwr said...

This is a contract year for Duckett. So only this year.

temwr said...

Hye the WNBA playoff are going on right now.

Am I the only one who just found out about this today? I didn't even know they were in season.

Bryan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bryan said...

I kinda feel bad for the WNBA, maybe they should play in Bikinis or something.

Look at Beach Volleyball in the Olympics, they had the highest ratings, what else did they have? Girls in bikinis...think about it.

Isiah Thomas said...

if WNBA players played in bikins we'd be able to see the sizes of their cranks'....with the exception of possibly Beth and thejaywhite...no thanks.

anonymous said...

how about making them not huge lez-bee-yuns?

Isiah Thomas said...

I'm all for the win-now mode the Skins are in, but eventually they're gonna have to actually draft some players for the future.

Isiah Thomas said...

unless the WNBA starts turning a profit they are going to have to do something drastic to increase their revenues...

the possibilities are endless, except for the over-the-top level of PC in America, which means the WNBA will be out of here in 5-10 yrs.

JFreak said...

Dang...Duckett got traded?

I'm thinking this'll reduce his effectivness...I sure hope not though.

ebntx said...

i'm all for sweaty, bikini clad women banging bodies, but I am not sure the wnba is the place for it

mound of venus said...

well, yours truly made the mailbag (geoff from austin, tx). that makes me and the rev. part of exclusive company. by the way, he edited my question. i added on at the end "....and my wedding- via my online gaming account--depends on your answer."

Martin VanNostrand said...

Whenever I hear "WNBA" I instantly think of the femanazi ultimate frisbee team from PCU.

temwr said...

How many hot women are in the WNBA? I'm going to guess 5, but I can't name them. 4 of which are probably bench warmers.

ebntx said...

the simmons mailbag was a little weak this time around

i usually rate these on a "would this be a good read while taking a shit" scale...once you are in there it is hard to get up and find something else to read

temwr said...

I made a TMQ mailbag once, but that is it for me. My questions must suck...Well he doesn't call them mailbags...Reader whatever...

Martin VanNostrand said...

I'll raise a glass to you MOV. I've wondered how much Simmons edits his questions/comments. Sent in a few last week but didn't make the cut.

ebntx said...

good job mov...sucks to know that he does edit those a bit

as for myself, he has never posted any of my ?'s...the only thing i ever made was a jim caple chat

Isiah Thomas said...

first the Z at the end of the name now MOV getting in a Simmons mailbag....our street cred is going through the roof.

The Rev said...

Good job, MOV.

Making a mailbag is a higher achievement than making the Cowbell in my book, so I tip my hat to you. You outdid me there.

My entry went in unedited though. So I got that going for me.

ebntx said...

good point zeke, but now everyone needs to remember to add:

sonsofkc.blogspot.com/

to their question to their mailbag. after receiving enough of these this blog is bound to get some mention

ebntx said...

good point zeke, but now everyone needs to remember to add:

sonsofkc.blogspot.com/

to their question to their mailbag. after receiving enough of these this blog is bound to get some mention

ebntx said...

sorry guys, don't know why that posted twice

thejaywhite said...

god..i gotta meet this girl tonite for coffee that i dont know..ive seen a picture and she looks old...and other than that i only know where we are meeting and she will have a brown purse..and i want to do this about as much as i like beth judging how i treat women....the only reason im meeting her is cause its a friends sister and he wants me to meet her for some stupid reason cause we are both moving to the same city in 2 weeks..ive tried to think of some reasonable way I can cancel but i figure its just mean now that I asked to see a picture and it wasnt to my expectations..thoughts on how much this sucks?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

From the mailbag-- Q: Is there a sports equivalent to your hung-over girlfriend asking, "Did we have sex last night?"


Honestly, I ask my girlfriend that question monthly. I can't be the only one.

Spaceman Spiff said...

has she seen you? if not maybe she looks better in person, or you can leave if you spot her and she looks like the pic. you are THEjaywhite, you could just stand her up

temwr said...

Just go in and if she looks bad leave. You are thejaywhite, don't forget that.

whocares said...

No offense jaywhite, but is your friend looking to get his sister finger-banged in a nightclub and then stranded at a 7-11?

Spaceman Spiff said...

looks like a double post, except thats temwr, not me

thejaywhite said...

I really dont see how she is going to look better than in the photo..she is mid to late 20s but looks 40...im not bangin her and who wouldnt want thejaywhite as their brother inlaw...obviously thats what he wants...all i know is when im in the new city other than chance run ins.....there will be no communication for us..this is a giant waste of time but its too late to cancel

The Rev said...

From the mailbag...

The "Black Caddyshack" made me double over in laughter.

thejaywhite said...

90210 is on

The Rev said...

Christ, Jay!

There's starving children in Ethiopia not getting laid tonight, any you're complaining that you're going out on a date with a chick that is not up to your standards?

Suck it up, go out with the chick, and give her the night of her life! You have to now. It is your lot in life.

Of course, you have to make sure she gets a fake cell phone number or e-mail address at the end of the night. And for the love of God, don't buy her any meal that costs more than $9.99. But I bet you knew all that already, because you are thejaywhite.

thejaywhite said...

I liked the comparison of a bunt breaking up a no hitter to recovering from a vindictive friend in a pickup situation...

the break down of the 3 crucial steps to recover and how you can screw any of them up was solid

anonymous said...

what's the rating on the lameness scale for swapping email addresses at the end of the night?

thejaywhite said...

not as lame as when i swap in the morning

Martin VanNostrand said...

To follow up the Hot WNBA player question I did some research. One for the good of LOV and two it's that slow today. I visited every team site and roster. Most of the pics are bad. Like they were taken just after practice so it could be misleading but I only found 2 hot players.

Ann Strother of Phoenix

Anastasia Kostaki of Houston

There were a half dozen average looking players but not hot.

anonymous said...

and i thought THEjaywhite would bang anything with a box. you need to show her that simply cause shes a gal and youre a MAN, that she deserves to take it like a champ.

keepz it reelz, jaywhite, keep keepzin' it reelz.

THE CHAMP. said...

I live in the ATL and I HATE to see Duckett go. I think the Falcons are going to miss him alot. He's not a full time starter, and if Portis wasn't hurt it'd be better for the Skins (obviously). But he's the kind of guy that breaks a 3rd and 2 run into a 40 yd TD. He's faster than he looks. Portis and Duckett would be an awesome 1-2 running game.

Martin VanNostrand said...

Sorry...forgot these

http://www.wnba.com/playerfile/anastasia_kostaki/index.html?nav=page

http://www.wnba.com/playerfile/ann_strother/index.html?nav=page

whocares said...

So jaywhite, you dont like her enough to molest her on the dancefloor then rufinate her into submission?

Who says chivalry is dead...

temwr said...

"looks like a double post, except thats temwr, not me"
-spaceman spiff

Yeah great minds think alike. I didn't see your post when I did mine.

2 hot WNBA players that is it?? No wonder why nobody watches.

Black Caddyshack was awesome, except he casted it poorly in my opinion. Give me a few and I will post my casting for it.

thejaywhite said...

the jaywhite for the most part has very high standards on women...but i do agree almost any girl is molest worthy on the dance floor

ebntx said...

thejaywhite-

just have another buddy call you during the dinner...pretend it is a family emergency and leave...if she is better looking in person you can always stick around

THE CHAMP. said...

the buddy calling you thing is too obvious....just accidentally slit your wrists, she'll never see it coming.

Martin VanNostrand said...

I knew some guys in college that would have "porker night" once a semester. It wasn't a contest but they would intentionally go out and hook up with plump girls. I used to think less of them for taking advantage of these chicks but maybe they were like the Make a Wish foundation for that demographic?

ebntx said...

good point marvin...thejaywhite, just think all could be forgiven for all your past conquests for this one good deed

or maybe you could just have way too much to drink...that always makes the night go a lot smoother

whocares said...

Screwing a fat chick is the best. Every time they have sex may be their last so they go to town!!!

I mean, you know, from what I've heard...

Spaceman Spiff said...

thejaywhite, why dont you try something new, just to get your adrenaline going, challenge yourself, get the girl to ditch YOU.

thejaywhite said...

I have friends who used to try and convince us to have large girl night..and i never did it...it always seemed to just be the uglier guys who never picked up wanting to have porker night so they had an excuse to go for people who look the same as them...

as for the phone call no need..i already told her i dont have much time only like 15 minutes and its just coffee...

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anonymous said...

martin came through with a winner there..

bryan.. i chuckled out loud at that one.. too bad the office was quiet as well.

temwr said...

Simmons casting:
Snoop Dogg as Ty Webb
Bernie Mac as Judge Smails
Sam Jackson as Al Czervik
Jamie Foxx as Carl Spackler Beyonce as Lacey Underall

also I swear the first time I read that it said something like "xxxhot black womanxxx" as Lacey.

temwr87 casting:
Ty Webb = Steve Harvey
Judge Smails = Sam Jackson
Al Czervik = Cedrick the Ent.
Carl Spackler = Dave Chapelle
Lacey Underall = Beyonce

OK Ty is supposed to be older, so Snoop doesn't work. Harvey seems like he can pull off the Ty Webb talk a lot better than Snoop. Smails is pissed all the time, so Jackson seems perfect for that. It seems like Simmons got Mac and Jackson mixed up. I can't see Jackson in R. Dangerfield's role, but I can see Mac. Chapelle as Spackler seems like a no brainer to me. I'm going with Cedric the Entertainer as Czervik, although Mac works good there too. Beyonce is hard to argue with, so I will stick with her. Plus it would be cool to see her nekkid.

OK, so I will retract that Simmons casted it poorly and just say he didn't do too good of a job.

Keith S said...

thejaywhite - This buddy whose sister you're meeting....this isn't the same buddy who always crawls in your bed and wakes you up is he? I've heard of keeping it in the family, but this might be going too far.

Martin VanNostrand said...

I'm trying to get the LOV address in on the Paul Shirley chat. No luck yet.

Martin VanNostrand said...

Wow, some dude got a chat question up mentioning his White-wash NBA fantasy league. Now that's hilarious. That guy needs to comment here.

thejaywhite said...

lol....no completely different group of friends....its not a close buddys sister tonight..just a buddy

THE CHAMP. said...

i need a good team name for my fantasy team. please help.

funny, perverted, twisted, are all good. basically something that makes people look twice and say "did he really put that as his team name?"

anonymous said...

team name = vaginal discharge.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I have friends who refer to "porker night" as just having a good old fashioned Hoggin' Contest.

THE CHAMP. said...

Joe Dumars asked Isaiah Thomas to present him for the HOF next month. How do you think he's going to screw this up?

THE CHAMP. said...

maybe i'll go with "I love porker night"

temwr said...

Your team name should be:

sonsofkc.blogspot.com

El Padrino said...

last season i operated under
BAGZ INC

and my pic was a pair of giant pig nuts, your welcome to use it if need be.

1. i can never keep up in here so i'll make this comment worthwhile

2. madden 2007 is ridiculous as usual, i ran the opening kickoff back to the hizzy with Bush in my first pre-season game, he's fast.

3. maybe i'll guest spot after my nfl previes on my onw page next week

4. invincible seems like rudy but in the big leagues

5. Parcells will stab TO at some point, the Flacons trade was brillant and Barlow is insane

6. Take your seven ribbies and shove them up your ass. Welcome to Queens.

Martin VanNostrand said...

Nocturnal Emission is a great team name

THE CHAMP. said...

EP- "The falcons trade was brilliant" discuss. From the falcons' perspective?

ebntx said...

you know this invincible movie got me to thinking about when i was a kid and that stupid lame ass tony danza movie came out and he was a place kicker...if i am not mistaken wasn't that for the eagles also

Isiah Thomas said...

personally I've gone with "Bruschi is the Devil" for the past 2 years and it hasn't done me wrong.

ebntx said...

could be that is wasn't that long ago...i have just tried to forget about it...never mind i mentioned it...this movie never happened

ebntx said...

bryan-

how about naming the team "i love porker vaginal discharge on my nut bagz inc because bruschi is the devil made me do it and gave me nocturnal discharge"

ebntx said...

sorry "nocturnal emission"

damn...i still screwed it up

anonymous said...

ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
temwr said...

Could it be that this blog lasted 5 days or whatever without 1 Chuck Norris reference...until now??

El Padrino said...

bryan-
sure, you get a good WR that you need who cathes the deep ball as good as anyone else and all you part with is a backup RB who rumbles 4 yds and does a fake motorcycle ride like he just ran through a mountain....
plus Jerrious Norwood has looked very good

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
temwr said...

My favorite is:

When Chuck Norris does a push up he's not pushing himself up, he is pushing the Earth down.

Jay Scott said...

i'm disappointed in all of us for not doing so sooner

ebntx said...

wow...remember when chuck norris used to be an actor taken seriously

iamunstoppable-
how much longer before chuck is the guy in the poster on your site?

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spaceman Spiff said...

chuck norris does not break wind, he obliterates it

Martin VanNostrand said...

The Shirley chat was not having love for LOV today. Nevertheless!

VIVA!

thejaywhite said...

I give a big fuck you losers...to everyone who posted about chuck norris..theres nothing i hate more than lame CN jokes

Isiah Thomas said...

re: fantasy team name

I've always been a fan of

They Ain't Chin Nuts

Beth82678 said...

OK, I'm a little late checking in today but at least I can help one person out - thejaywhite. Jay, have your potential date email me, after my reply you won't have to cancel on her, she'll be canceling on you. :-)

Yep, I'm still judging how you treat women, get used to it... :-)

And as a Falcons fan, I wholeheartedly agree with El Padrino - the Duckett trade was great for the Falcons. Duckett was underused and if they're only going to use him for the occasional Dunn relief run and to score short TD's, they're better off getting someone of value for him.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zeke Fucks My Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
whocares said...

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Keith S said...

An appropriate name for thejaywhite's blog should be "Penthouse Letters"

The Rev said...

One of the greatest things I ever saw was the night I went to see Conan O'Brien live in New York last year, and he chose that night to pull the Walker Texas Ranger lever. I damn near pissed my pants with laughter right in his studio audience.

Walker Texas Ranger as an entire show probably makes sense, but pulling those clips individually the way he did was sheer comic genius. Taking them out of context was hilarious.

ebntx said...

you know being from tx i kind of take offense to the whole walker, texas ranger show...i know a several tx rangers and one happens to be a good friend of mine, they are nothing like that

actually my friend would make for a better punch line on the conan show

temwr said...

"i know a several tx rangers and one happens to be a good friend of mine, they are nothing like that"
-ebntx

Texas Rangers aren't all like Walker and Trivette?!!!!?? My entire life has been turned upside down.

Spaceman Spiff said...

next thing he'll say is miami detectives are not like crockett and tubbs. I call BS.

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ebntx said...

Spaceman Spiff said...
next thing he'll say is miami detectives are not like crockett and tubbs. I call BS.

bs on what?

JFreak said...

I absolutely died every time Conan pulled that lever. I wish they would bring it back.

Spaceman Spiff said...

ebntx,

its a joke, i called BullShit on you saying that texas rangers are not like that, just a joke.

Isiah Thomas said...

I'm 100% convinced Supertroopers fairly and accurately reflects the life and times of State Troopers.

"It's powdered sugar...and it's delicious"

"A LITER...OF....COLA...."

Zeke Fucks My Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zeke Fucks My Mom said...

that is such a great movie...we should change are headline to

"I'm sorry, Bruce. These boys get that syrup in 'em, they get all antsy in their pantsy. "

thejaywhite said...

thanks beth.ill make sure to have all my future dates contact you

Spaceman Spiff said...

what about when jay and beth go out, beth will email herself, and wonder why the hell she's going out with him, but then do it anyways.

thejaywhite said...

thats a good call..i will agree to go out with beth if we bang first...and then go out for drinks after...but she cant expect me to go home with her...if i meet someone else..C'EST LA VIE

JK beth...sort of

GM-Carson said...

Chuck-fucking-Norris...classic!

Beth82678 said...

Actually jaywhite, I'd prefer to go for drinks first, I think I may need the beergoggles. :-)

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