Nonsense From
Tem is a good title to anything I post. Ever. I'm pretty sure all my sentences are structured correctly, it's just that sometimes the meaning of the sentence is nonsense. Sadly, that's just the way my brain works. Everything is technically correct, but the end results are
fracked up. Anyway, let's get to some nonsense.
Shaq rap about Kobe is hilarious. Of course
Shaq stopped being relevant about 16 weeks ago so I don't give a rats ass what he says. The
Shaq era in the NBA is clearly over. I'm not sure what era it is now but I am sure it ain't the
Shaq era. And
Shaq covering it up by saying he was just
freestyling is beyond dumb. Clearly
Shaq hates Kobe. That's fine. I hate lots of people. I hate this chick from downstairs because she is a bitch. She's gotten a little fat lately, added a pouch to her stomach, so now I call her Kangaroo. I think its fucking hilarious, others don't. Whatever. I don't apologize for it. It is what it is. Everyone agrees that she is a bitch, but somehow "kangaroo" is crossing the line. Fuck the line and whoever made it.
In random dream news all of my dreams last night were based on the TV show Simon and Simon. I'm not sure what to make of that. I'm not sure I want to even try. It was nice to see each dream end up in a tidy manner though. Usually my dreams just end with no real resolution in place. All of these dreams (and there were like 5 of them) ended with Simon and Simon catching the bad guy and neither of the Simon brothers scoring with the victimized woman. Oh, and in case you were wondering I was not in the dreams myself, I was pretty much just watching Simon and Simon display mad detective skills.
Melo: Don't trade me, I'm awesome.
Nuggets: OK we won't trade you, but you are suspended for maybe getting a DUI.
Melo: OK well tell me if you are going to trade me.
Something about that just makes me laugh. 85% chance he gets traded.
Meiz, enjoy the Joe Alexander era in Milwaukee, they are drafting him, write it in pen (but keep the white out handy just in case). I know the kid looks just a little retarded. OK, very retarded, but apparently he is not and apparently he has a good motor and a high IQ. Whatever, kid can shoot the ball if he wants to. Of course after you pay him lots of money he might not want to try anymore. $$$ changes folks. Also, don't expect much defense out of him. He used up his defense playing for Huggins.
Why is this Imus fucker in the news again? Let's let him die and let George Carlin come back to life. Or you know, someone else. Pretty much anyone. Bring back Teddy Roosevelt, I hear he was hilarious.
So, I'm running late. Movie Review time:
Get Smart
This is a movie that has just come out, so I know a lot of you, like me, haven't seen it yet. So that will make my review all the more useful to you.
Get Smart stars that guy from either The Office or the Colbert Report. They are really the same dude, but most people don't believe that. Whatever. Anyway, it's also got Anne Hathaway in it, who showed the goods in Havoc. She doesn't show the goods here. It ain't that type of movie.
Basically the plot (SPOILER ALERT) of this movie is that you got a dude who is pretty dumb (aforementioned Office/Colbert guy) and wants to "get smart." That's where Hathaway comes in. She decides to home school his ass and hilarity ensues (think scenes from Billy Madison where the hot chick is trying to teach Billy).
Quick
side note: That chick from Billy Madison is hot as hell. 100 helmet stickers to anyone who produces some nude pics of her. 10 helmet stickers for nip slips. Nip slips don't get 100 stickers, don't even try to argue.
Anyway, so Hathaway is trying to get this guy smart. But he's dumb. Finally they just figure out a way for someone else to take his tests and that dude aces all the tests. Then the government steps in and says "wait how the hell did you 'get smart'?" So they study him. But the problem is that he is still dumb. He never 'got smart.' So the government puts him up against monkeys (everyone loves monkeys) in a series of IQ tests. Hilarity ensues. (Think Hooch outsmarting Turner.)
So the government throws Colbert/Office man out on the streets. He meets up with a retarded homeless person (played by Jim Carey, type casting for sure) and they hang out for awhile, hilarity ensues. (Think Dumb and Dumber). Finally Colbert/Office man and the retard win the lottery and become millionaires.
The moral of the story is two fold. 1, if you ain't smarter than a monkey, then find a retard or Jim Carey, you'll "get smart" then. Smart by comparison counts. 2, if you have enough money nobody cares if you "got smart" or not. You are assumed to be smart (see Donald Trump). Note that this does not apply to people who had their parents give them a lot of money (see Paris Hilton).
4 out of 5 helmet stickers (lots of ensuing hilarity).
The End.