Thursday, February 16, 2012

TPS sucks...

...that is all for now.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

linsanity continues

everytime i hear the word linsanity, it makes me think of Lindsay Lohan...yep.

This little asian kid has been a great story. Can't wait for 20 years from now then they do a "behind the music" or a where are they now, and Jeremy Lin is working as computer software programmer.

Whitney Houston died

Jason Whitlock used to be a good writer. Then he got famous for something, i don't remember why he was on Oprah. Maybe whitlock should hold off on the cheeseburgers, and yes, i meant to make that plural.

Pitchers and Catchers report this weekend, i think. A lot of talk around the league about how awesome the Mets are going to be. A lot of changes this year, pujols, prince, angels spent a boughtload. phillies will suck, so will the yankees and sawks.

i know it will never happen, but the NBA should just go to this 66 game schedule every year.

for everyone's viewing pleasure, and on topic from yesterday

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

no surprise

This shouldn't surprise anyone, but before yesterday I could only name 1 Whitney Houston song. I knew the one from the Bodyguard. Cmtem said that she also sang I want to Dance with somebody then she was out. So, for me I know Whitney as a singer of 1 song from a movie I never saw. And that song was a remake. I also knew she got beat up by bobby brown. Anyway, feel free to tell me more Whitney songs because I am not going to look them up and I figure you all can't sit there and let me only know two songs.

So I got into a debate with Cmtem. I told her that the medical industry could easily find a vaccination for lots of diseases but they don't because there is no money in vaccinations. The big bucks are in treatment. So even if they found a vaccination for cancer they wouldn't sell it because they couldn't make enough money. I mean each person that gets cancer probably rings up at least 500K in medical bills. If you had a vaccine and tried to charge that much for it you'd be run out of the country. In any case Cmtem said my argument was dumb.

I don't know if any of you read the mark titus power rankings on Garland, but I do. He isn't too bad. I might even go as far to say that he is entertaining. He is a complete tOSU homer, so he basically reminds me of a young Simmons from Ohio. Apparently he lives in Cubs. I might have to stalk him. Just kidding, I'm way too lazy to do that.

Oh, I wrote this on my phone, so autocorrect probably fucked something up.

Ok, well I should go to work and do work things.

Monday, February 13, 2012

A diary runs through it

Here we are again. I told cmk she has to be involved in this episode, so we'll see.
All times MST

Whitney Houston died????? Whoa.

7:03 The Boss opens up the show. He has some earrings that would make deluxe proud. I've said it before, I'm not a fan of Springsteen. But hsil is a ya-huge fan if his. Cmk said that hsil is probably jizzing right now. It's weird that he's singing "I Will Always Love You" though. (s)

7:07 Lady Gaga is wearing a wrestling mask or something. Tyler would know.

7:08 LL Cool J is hosting. It's good to see that he has bolth pant legs down to his shoes. He starts with a prayer for WH. Amen

7:10 Man oh man. Whitney was a hot piece of ass back in the day.

7:11 I just thought of a new drinking game. Take a shot every time LL licks his lips. I'm drunk just thinking about it.

7:13 first performance of the night is Bruno Mars. I don't like him. Cmk is going OFF on him. "He's so ugly. He's so ugly. He's so ugly, ew gross. And he's like 5 foot". Awesome

7:24 Alicia Keys & Bonnie Raitt on stage to sing an Etta James sing. Weird pairing. I guess they wanted to pair someone I would have sexy time with and someone tem or jug would have sexy time with. Makes sense when you think about it.

7:25 first award if the night, best pop solo. I bet Adele wins. I hope it's not Gaga. Suite, it was Adele. LP is masturbating to her right now.

7:28 LL just licked his lips 4 times. Shots shots shots shotsshotsshots!!!

7:29 Chris Brown performance. I agree with mize, I would punch this guy in the face. But then I'd axe him to show me how to dance. Butnott in a gay way

7:37 Marc Anthony and Fergie's penis are presenting best rap song. Tem is on the edge of his seat...to hear the winner, not to get closer to to Fergie's penis. Some song I've nerve heard from Kanye & Hova won. Congrats, black people.

7:40 Country music performance. Time to go pee.

Oh snap, cmk is in the kitchen making some mafuggin rice krispie treats dipped in chocolate. No, I wasn't going pee in the kitchen.

7:46 Jack Black introduces the Foo Fighters. TP has FF chills right now. I'm not a fan of their new stuff. This song is alright, though. It seems he's learning to walk again.

7:54 Rihanna & Coldplay. Another weird combo. I guess they wanted to pair someone I would have sexy time with and someone mize would have sexy time with. Makes sense when you think about it. But it looks like when they announced Rihanna with Coldplay that what they meant was Rihanna would sing first and then Coldplay would sing. Sneaky.

7:58 Wait, nervemind. Rihanna is helping Coldplay sing. You know, because she is known for her grate* voice and all.

8:02 Now Coldplay gets the stage alone. I like this song. I don't know what it's called, though. He does whoaohohoooohoooohoohwhoaohwhoa a lot in it. Maybe it's called Paradise, he says that a lot too.

8:11 Manningham & VCruz presenting with some ugly bitch with a ginormous mouf. Manningham wears his sunglasses at night. And he wears a picnic table cloth as a shirt. They're presenting best rock song. And the Grammy goes to...FF. TP just jizzed hisself*.

8:14 Maroon 5 singing some Beach Boys now. I hate Maroon 5. put Adam Levine at the top of my "I want to punch that guy in the face" list. If murder was legal, I'd punch him in the face til he was dead and gone. So angry.

8:16 Foster the People singing Beach Boys now. If bgas wasn't standing here dancing to the music I would be fast forwarding it right now. I like Foster the People, but like jug, I'm not really a Beach Boys fan.

8:19 Now the Beach Boys singing Beach Boys. Cmk "this is awful. Awful. Sad." And she's a BB fan. I can't watch these 90 year olds anymore. But this song reminds me of Vegas Vacation.

8:31 Stevie Wonder on stage. Can't believe he has 22 Grammys. Wow. Apparently Stevie also wears his sunglasses at night. He doesn't want Manningham getting all of the attention. He introduces Paul McCartney. I'm going to get some dessert now. This song is awfuler than all of your faces, combined.

8:35 Common and some black chick present best R&B album. And the Grammy goes to...Chris Breezy. look at me now. I'm gettin paper. So much for that whole women* beating incident.

8:39 country music. Fuck yeah! I've been waiting all night for this fucking shit. Ladies & gentleman*, it's....TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT!!!!! All 57 lbs of her. And her John Elway lip. I really don't understand why she's so popular.

8:50 NPH presenting song of the year. 3 of the songs I've nerve heard of. Adele wins. LP is masturbating again. And why shouldn't he be? What with her yearglass figure and all.

8:54 Good God, that's Kate Beckinsale's music! I heart her. A lot. She introduces Katy Perry and her blue hair. KP has a nice little camel toe going. And her boobs are jiggling. Everyone wins.

8:58 Adam Lambert's sister and Dirks Diggler present best country album. Tem and jug are jizzing right now. And the Grammy goes to...Lady Antebellum. Good for them, they are the best of the crap.

9:06 LP, better get your lube out again. Skineth Paltrow introduces Adele. If you average the weight of these 2 chicks, it would be 125 lbs.

9:07 We could of* had it all. LP is pounding like a carpenter right now. Aitch is over this by now. However, it is nice to see someone actually sing when their* onstage.

9:07:30 ohohohohohohahahahahahahfuckfuckfuck ahhhhhhhhhhh. /LP

9:10 Standing O for Adele. LP gave her a laying on his back O.

9:16 Taylor Swift's 1/2 lip is introducing Glenn Campbell. She just said "last year, Glenn announced he was facing Altheimers disease". Altheimers disease is the worse. I rewound it 5 times to make sure, and yeah, it's Altheimers disease.

9:19 Way too much country Muzak tonight. Glenn Campbell singing Like a Rhinestone Cowboy now. Good to see that Altheimers disease hasn't let him forget the words to this song yet.

9:32 Goddamn, Carrie Underwood is a fine human being. That's all I have to say about that.

9:35 Best new artist. I remember when Picasso won this back in the day. /TP

9:36 and the Grammy goes to...some dude I've nerve heard of. Ron Iver and his male pattern baldness.

9:42 Time to show everyone who died in the last year. Big names this year. Winehouse, Nate Dogg, Don Cornelius, Heavy D, Whitney, Steve Yobs, Etta James, Clarence Clemons.
Hey keef, can you throw Etta James a bone? /Jug
Why aren't any white folk dying? /mizelock

9:47 JHud gets onstage and belts out I Will Always Love You. I'm impressed.
I can't believe they wouldn't get Dolly to sing that. WFT? /Jug

9:53 Chris Brown &FF perform again in some tent outside Staples. I ax why they're having the same people perform again. After CB gets off stage and FF start their song, cmk says "why are they having the same people sing again?"

10:10 Nicki Minaj performing on stage now. Maybe she'll sing the song that says "kiss my ass and my anus". She was introduced my mize's bf Drake. Nicki is a weird chick. She's a pretty suite rapper, but she's Lady Gaga crazy. This performance is dumb. Let's get on to the next award already.

10:14 Lady Antebellum giving out record of the year. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Adele will win and LP will jack off again. And the Grammy goes to...LP's spanktravision. Big night for Adele. Did anyone else notice that she says "Fank you". Stupids Brits.

10:22 Diana Ross' hair is awarding album of the year. I'm trying to guess who will win. Adele was nominated for 6 Grammys and she won 6. She's like a modern day version of the Monkees, who were a big influence n the Beatles. I bet you didn't know that.

Good night.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Growing up Italian

Need to kill an hour? Watch Ultimate Warrior videos. Jesus. The one where he says he's gonna take down Hulk Hogan's airplane.

Seriously though, we all might have a different opinion on alot of different things and really, we are all right for the most part (because it's our own opinion), but hot damn it's fun busting chops while talking through an opinion. Nice little levity from the stresses of work.

This NYC guy keef is seeing sounds serious.

Coolest sea creature has to be the Octopus.

The Sebastian Maniscalco Showtime special is HILARITY. I suggest watching it. I relate.
He has a bit on his mother having a cake in the house just for company. My mother did this ALL THE TIME. Because when I was growing up people would just come over ya know and it was like the doorbell rang and good things happen. Now door bell rings everyone takes cover. But serious my mom would buy an Entemann's crumb cake and just leave it on the counter and no one was allowed to touch it. And if company never came over and the cake went bad so be it. Laws of Italian Life.

Another Italian law, pasta every Sunday. No matter what. Every Sunday. Pasta, meatballs, sausage, pork neck bones. Every Sunday.

Thursday, February 09, 2012

::BITCHSCREAM::

I already miss football. I don't even mind the Manning talk that much. I'm looking forward to the draft, although I preferred it when it started on Saturday. Softball is starting up in a couple of weeks and I play on Thursdays.

A lot of stuff going on in the Jug household over the next two weeks. I'm getting the house ready to sell. Got someone here painting everyday, had some landscaping done, I think my washer broke. No woe there, if I replace it it'll be one less thing we have to buy when fmjug and I get a house later this year.

Keef was talking about vacations today (Wednesday). Said he planned some vacation "time" in November, but doesn't have a trip on the horizon to look forward to. I'm going on my honeymoon at the end of June, but that doesn't seem close enough yet. I need some kind of trip, even an over nighter out of town in the near future. Its nice to have something like that to look forward to...and it would score points with fmjug after the "are you having a bad day" debacle.

Weekend update: I'm working this weekend. Got a deal at church with fmjug on Friday night, and going out for a friend's birthday dinner here, and then after dinner we are going here.

Big Bang Theory is funny.

So is your face!

::BITCHSCREAM::

GO!

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

whose on your list

No not that list. The list of people who if you saw in real life you'd try to kick their ass.

I'll give you a sampling of my list:

Mario Lopez
Josh McDaniels
Any guy who has been on the Bachelor
Dan Shanoff


you get the point.

So long Chauncey Billups you magnificent bastard.

I like the idea that if the BCS won't make a playoff, the conferences will just have their own playoff. The Big-10 is thinking about a 4 team playoff to determine their champion. Maybe it's stupid, or maybe it's genius, i don't know.

For whatever reason, i've been waking up at 5:30 to go to the gym.

EP, if you want your beer, email your address to me ben@tuckertown.com and i'll hook you up.

Now that football is over, i guess i'll pay a little more attention to the non-nugget portion of the NBA.

Tebow took his offensive line to Vegas (but made them do some community service while they're there). Come to find out, Tebow doesn't fly commercial, and hasn't for like 3 years. He's that popular i guess.

This "bradying" thing is catching on.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

What?

Freaking tuesday sneaking up on me.

I am pretty broken up about Brady's wife dissing the WRs. I hate it when mom and dad fight.

How long would you go without pooping before you called a doctor?

I have no idea how far into the season the NBA is. I don't think they had an all star game, so I'm going to guess less than halfway.

Hockey had an all star game though, so I'm going to guess past halfway for them.

A buddy of mine is trying to go to the Olympics in London. No. Neither winter nor summer games suck me in. It is all sports that I don't care about. If swimming was cool people would watch it on the weekends instead of college basketball. Here's a hint, if your sport can't beat out women's college basketball in the ratings then your sport is not good. Same goes for the x games. If that shit was cool wouldn't ESPN air competitons of it instead of Taylor vs Somebody?

Remember when poker was on tv 24/7? That was fun.

Them health update: apparently now I can't eat fatty foods because gallstones block something and then my gall bladder spasms. Shit hurts. I was totally against this surgery, but I'm starting to come around. By the by, post was late because I was talking with Dr. Nick. Well not really, but seriously I would not be shocked if my doctor was a C- pt worse student.

Monday, February 06, 2012

Mediocre Bowl

It definitely wasn't a super bowl. It was ok. The last few minutes were decent. The rest of the game was zzzzzzzzz. I did have the Giants 9 Pats 0 square, though. So that was cool to win the 1st quarter & halftime. Although, the squares were only $1. But I'll take a $33 profit over a $12 loss.

$33 would set me up comfortably for 3 months. /mize

I'll say it. The halftime show was ok. I mean, it wasn't awesome, but it wasn't the worse* performance ever. Old school Madonna songs are alright. And MIA giving the bird was funny. Cee Lo is an ugly motherfucker, though. Looks like he has downs or something, too. Did anyone see that one dancer dude that was on the top right part of the screen when Madonna was walking down the bleacher steps. He was swinging his leg around and it looked like he didn't have any knee ligaments or something. It was creepy.

The commercials were really awful. I really can't remember seeing one that I thought was funny. There was one that I thought was decent, then it ended with some Star Wars shit, so that made it terrible.

Congrats to LP. Must be nice! Just don't be rev, please & thank you.

I wish I had taken today off. I really wanted to party last night, but I knew I had to work today so I only had 3 beers. Note to self: in future years, request the day after the Super BowlTM off. I don't know why I've nerve* done that. Just about everyone else at the party I was at has today off.

Kod, what does my name/pic even mean?

Typing a post on a PC is >>>>>>>>>>>>> than typing a post on a touch screen. I really can't put enough >>>>>>> in this statement.

Friday, February 03, 2012

Super Friday

Gonna be alot of

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA--nnng around here if the Giants lose I imagine.

This Gronkowski ankle is a big deal. The Giants front four, if they can get pressure, oh boy.

My anxiety is already off the charts. I can barely breaf*. Drama.

ITS THE SUPER BOWL!!

I'm making wings. My wings are famous. LMC.

My uncle is making chili. It's the best I erve* had. Shit is competition good.

He makes it every year. People travel from everywhere to have a taste.

I'm gonna eat my cornbread.


McNizzle said Brady is the best ever. but I think he was counting this game as a win cuz he mentioned him tying Montana. O:FP might have just snuck in here.


The Giants lost to the Redskins twice. Twice.

John Parry better not fuck this up.

I may go to the pa----

Nevermind.

Enjoy the game everyone. The Hate Bowl is sure to please.

CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ

Eli face is $8000 to win MVP.


Take the under.

Tails.

National Anthem, under.

Madonna outfits, over.

Can't believe we are still talking about Madonna performing at the Super Bowl halftime show.

Anyway, Woodhead MVP has nice odds.

So does Jacobs.


Remember, Brady gives out Uggs to teammates. Slippers no less. And calls dudes babe.

He also does this during the off-season.






Thursday, February 02, 2012

Super Thursday!

Freak looks like he is having fun this week up in Indy...I bet it is good times. Peyton Manning has been a much bigger story than the game this week. I'm surprised he isn't singing the national anthem and doing the coin toss before the game. It would be funny if he was in all the commercials during the game. I have listened to a fair amount of sports talk this week and not one interview doesn't mention him...and oh yeah, there is a game this weekend I think.

Is keef going to do a runny* diary of the Super Bowl?

I saw the movie Courageous last weekend...I recommend, especially if you're a dad.

I should be putting my house on the market towards the end of the month. I'm not looking forward to the process of selling, and will be glad when its all done. fmjug doesn't want to live in that house, which is fine. She is also adamant that she want us to have a house to move into by the time we get married. I can't dictate the housing market and how fast mine will sell, but I'm adamant on not having two mortgage payments.

I'm bummed my brother is leaving for Kuwait this weekend. He is actually leaving Sunday. He goes to Gulfport, MS for a week, then to NJ for a month for training first.

TPS will suck for the next few months...as in through August.

That's all I have...go!

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

it's a super wednesday

I guess everything in Indy this week is "super". Have a "super" day. Hope you have a "super" time here at the waterpark. This weather is "super"...etc.

Denver is trying to bid for the 2022 winter olympics, so they're using Indy as an example or some crap. I'm not buying it. Denver kicks indy's ass at everything but speedracing. Even our mom's basements are better here.

Is the superbowl in NYC next year, or is that 2014? I'm too lazy to look it up. I hope they have one of those noreasters that week.

I've been trying to think about other cool places to live. I can't, this is the best city in america. We just don't have a beach. That's the only drawback to Denver.

Pitchers and catchers report in like 18 days (go ahead and correct me with the right amount of days keith, i don't care).

In case you guys missed it, the groundhog saw it's shadow so keith is going to be an ass for another 8 weeks.

I found out cool tidbits about snack food from some newspaper article this last weekend. Like Guacamole was i guess invented in Denver. Nachos are named after some kid that was like a busboy in Mexico (whose nickname was Nacho) who was out of food to serve people so he whipped up some "nachos especiale". Pico de Gallo is named after some pico guy. see what you learn when you read.

Have a super wednesday

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

fucking mountaineers

Another WVU loss. Goddman Turkish guy. Turns the ball over too much and shoots too poorly. He looks like some sort of bear hunting lumberjack.....plays like one too. WVU has NIT written all over them.

This year seems to be going by slowly. February has one day more too, so that'll slow it down more. For the first time in 8 years a recruiter called me. Should I call him back? I suppose so. You never know when you'll want to jump ship. Speaking of that, how is Blue's search going? I got a call from a lady in Denver asking me questions about an old employee. She put me on the spot. He's trying for a job in grand junction or grand something. She was tossing interview questions at me about him. I suck at answering them for myself, I'm sure I did bad answering them about someone else.

I'm sure some sports shit happened, but I didn't watch after WVU pissed me off. X-games do not suck me. I can't get into them at all. I view most of that shit as rich people sports. Growing up the only people with skis and snowmobiles and snowboards were the rich people. I always hated rich people sports. Hockey was a rich kid sport so I never got into it. Also practices are at like 5am. No. Fucking. Way.

I wrote this post on my phone. I have no idea what autocorrect did to it.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Ninjas in Paris

That shi cray

I think there was a footyball game last night. I didn't watch one, but I heard about it. It wasn't the Super BowlTM, though. Although I really don't care about that game this year. Like I said, the only thing I'll be rooting for is my square. But I'm not spending $100 on a square. That's nonsense, LP.

I ♥ the winter X Games. Shaun White is a fucking beast. Did anyone see his last run of the night last night? He had already wrapped up his 5th consecutive gold and he was the last one to go down the pipe. All he does is goes out and puts up a perfect 100 out of 100 score. He's probably better at the super pipe than anyone else in the world is at anything.

I watched a little golf yesterday. Next week the PGA is gonna be here, which is always a good time when I go. But yesterday was grate. Dude was trying to win his 1st PGA tourney and he's up by 3 shots going to the par-5 18th. He hits his third shot from aout 130 yards,puts too much back spin on it and it rolls off the green into the water. Then he three putts for triple bogey, sending it to a playoff. Then he loses the playoff. It was hilarity. For me. Probably notsomuch for him. He still made more money in 4 days than I've made in my life. So I guess the joke's on me.

We had a bday party for bgas. this weekend. Cmk made a ton of cake pops, cupcakes, and a suite bundt cake. That means I'm gonna be eating suites for the next week or so. Hello 200 lbs, it's been a while.

Did anyone see the Lebron dunk yesterday? I hate that guy, but it was a suite dunk. Not Vince Carter over a 7-footer suite, but suite nonetheless.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Rain makes people run late.

But why? Why is rain so disrupting? It's just water. People are nuts in the rain. They speedwalk speedier, all manners go out the window it's like a free for all to get to work. It's insane. I hate people. Generally speaking.

Bugs Bunny vs Donald Duck
WHO YA GOT!

Hype week next week.

Did you see the contract the Tigers gave Prince?
s

But seriously Miggy at third is HILARITY.

I got jungle fever. And the only prescription is some purple pussy.

Wow.

Anyone like this band called Rise Against?

My son has been alive a little over 13 months and not only has he never slept the whole night but he wakes up, on average, 4-8 times a night. What a pain in the ass.

Fuck you keef.

Can we do the summit like in May? October is busy.

Take the NFC and the over.

Pierce.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"


"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem


"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug


"joba rules my ass" - L Padrino


"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino


"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H


"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino


"I have no qualms with sharing a bed with another man" - Mize


"Telling a RB not to score is like telling an ocelot not to kill. It just can't be done." - Tem