Monday, April 14, 2014

Right Meow...

I watched Super Troopers for the millionth time yesterday. The "meow" scene still makes me laugh.

NHL regular season came to a close yesterday. Playoff hockey is the best, in my opinion. The intensity is second to none.

Bubba won The Masters™. I don't know much about golf, so maybe you guys will know. Local sports guys are saying Augusta lends itself well to Bubba's game, so he could win a couple more, but he'll never win any other major. Any accuracy to this assessment? If so, why?

Implementation of MLB replay has been smooth, huh? I don't understand why every sport doesn't adopt the NHL's approach of having all replays go through the league office. It would keep them consistent abd remove the emotion or crowd influence. Bottom line, we want to get the call right.

I'm tired. Go comment, you bastards.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Jumanji

So Kate Upton is in a movie.  That's nice.


The worse place in the world is probably North Korea.


Jon Stewart ripped the NCAA a new asshole.


Baseball is great but god damn GET IN THE BOX already.  Fuck with the stepping out after every pitch.


Hard Cider?  The fuck.


My kids laugh at these Bears promos.  Fucking Disney.  Has my family by the balls.


I want to learn how to twirl nunchucks.


You notice the shooting of Sonny Corleone in Godfather that Denzel gets shot up the same way in Training day.  Sans toll booths in Breezy Point of course.


I'd take Jennifer Garner for a walk.

Monday, April 07, 2014

It's Monday... and you're still ugly

Condolences, Keith.

Full fledged panic mode over the Red Sox on the radio this morning. Freaking hilarity. It's been 6 games.

Client is coming out... I'll add more later.

Ok, that was fun. Took me over an hour to go 15 miles. Love Monday traffic!

My newsfeed blew up last night with people reacting to The Undertaker's steak at Wrestlemania ending. These people do know that wrestling is fake, right? We're not talking about 18-1 or a 56 game hitting streak here. It's not really significant when the outcome is controlled.

UConn vs. Kentucky... Who ya got? Kentucky was the preseason number 1, right? How did they end up as an 8 seed? I don't follow college bball much, obviously.

Nice job on the name change, Meiz.

Friday, April 04, 2014

LOVEYOURBUTT.ORG

the draft is so deep this year.  lmc
serious ton of talent out there
watkins, evans, hyde, tre mason, the qb's, ebron, clowne, tons of o lineman to name a few




so many qb's,







EL Padrino, in the villa in Venice sipping vino




I love rap from my days, like it now but nothing like that era I think it's the best in hip hop history, from 95 to 04 maybe? 




San Antonio is so good.  So fucking good.  Popovich man.




fuck marry kill - Tylenol, advil, aleve -- go




TV has never been better now if you say today there is nothing on you crazy.  At the very least you can turn to the history channel and watch that programming




chanel west coast? si or no?




whats the deal with nick cannon now
fuck that guy




F M K with proactiv spokespeople


Julianne Hough, Katy Perry, KAley Cucocoocococo
Fuck Katy, marry Julianne, Kill Kaley




Whitlock nailed the Desean Jackson issue, fucking Richard Sherman is a cunt




Letterman retiring.  He was the best.  Love his give zero fucks attitude.




CNN is tripping over its own dick with the missing plane coverage, they are literally the worst news outlet going.




Brussell Sprouts are in







Las Vegas middle schools are dealing with a problem known as “slap-ass Friday.”


I miss you guys


I'm sort of drunk had some wine not having a godfather (equal parts amaretto & whiskey)


TURN DOWN FOR WHAT (the video is hilarious)


Piece.









Monday, March 31, 2014

Despite Popular Opinion...

...I actually hate drama.

Opening Day for MLB. Remember when we used to get preview posts? That was fun. F'ing slackers. So who ya got?

Bruins keep winning. I'm cool with it. I know, I know. No one cares about hockey. Well I do, so there.

Where does DeSean Jackson land? Media says he has gang ties. He of course says he doesn't. Heard New England is among the 9 teams who have inquired. I'd love to see him here, but I think after the Hernandez situation, they stay away from him. Thoughts?


Friday, March 28, 2014

Chinese people are afraid of black people

Looks like Manziel had a nice pro day.  I haven't watched a stitch of sports outside of a few glimpses of the tourney games.  That makes me sad.  Responsibilities are the worst.  Anyway Manziel reminds me of a douche Jeff Garcia.  Maybe better.  Probably better.




The VCU guy says no a lot.




That is ALOT of rice and beans for Miggy.


Sixers are doing well.


This plane thing is beyond getting ridiculous now.


I'm on antibiotics for a tooth infection so I've been off the juice for 3 days now.  Everything is great. 


SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS


What's the big deal about Ricky Gervais?


Kevin Costner as the GM of the Browns......HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAA


Nate Silver is a thing now.  Officially.  Can he tell us where the fuck this plane is?


Noah?  No ah thanks. 
HA.  I crack myself up.


A peanut is not a nut.  It's a bean.











Monday, March 24, 2014

Is the Tournament Over Yet?

I haven't paid attention to a single minute of it. The Bruins have won 12 straight games. It has sparked the "peaking to soon" debate on local sports radio. Do you think that actually exists? Can a team really peak too soon? Discuss. Happy Monday. I'm tired.

Friday, March 21, 2014

SAY SOMETHING I'M GIVING UP ON YOU

What the fuck are the Carolina Panthers doing?  Why aren't they building on this!!!!!


Jets, woeful.  Sabotaging Rex Ryan.  I've said this before.  I don't mind Rex, think he's a good coach, great defensive coach.  Good head coach.  He knows dick about offense though and hasn't hired the right guy to lead that side of the ball.  And obviously gives zero fucks or knows nothing about what an NFL QB looks like.




Giants like whoa on the free agency tip.  I is happy.  Secondary seems formidable.  O line still has some holes which was the main issue last year so maybe misappropriated funds.




No clue what to think of this Phil Jackson scenario. 




If you are a Wu-Tang fan the Grantland article is ill. 


The Saint Louis guard with the dreads......dreads look uncomfortable.  Like for basketball.  All sports really but for basketball with them flying all over the place.....


ONIONS!


Onions are very important in cuisine.  One of those staple ingredients.


WHAT ARE YOU WEARING JAKE FROM "STATE FARM"?


What is your favorite bug?  I like spiders.  Dominant.


Sisters house in SC - her taxes are $890 a year.  SIIICKK.







Monday, March 17, 2014

Erin Go Bragh-less

Happy "Let's Pretend We're Irish and Get Drunk" Day. It's the one day off the year that EP will acknowledge that's he's more Irish than Eye-talian.

I actually hate "drinking" holidays like St. Patrick's, Cinco de Mayo, etc. Most people can have fun and act normal, but there's always a small segment that has to get white girl wasted and act like fools. I get the whole wanting to get drunk thing, but not to that excess. Those morons usually end up spoiling the fun for everyone.

Denver and New England continued their arms race over the weekend. The edge still goes to Denver, but both teams have to be the preseason favorites to get back to the AFC championship game.

The Cheifs are pissed at Emmanuel Sanders. I'm guessing he DGAF. He ended up with the better team.

That's all I have right now. I might add more later, but I doubt it. Spiff is fired.

Oh, for your viewing pleasure, a song from my acoustic duo.

Friday, March 14, 2014

пятница

I've become enamored with old school cocktails.  Like I'll come home and make myself an Old Fashioned before dinner.  Then maybe after dinner I'll have a digestif.  Like a Fernet Branca or Grand Marnier.  Like where has a solid Manhattan been all my life.  Or a Gimlet.  I've been burying my liver with beer and jack and cokes, rum and cokes all this time while hand crafted time proven good spirits fine recipes have been there all along.  I'm a sophisticant now.


Enjoy the finer things in life boys could be over tomorrow.


Remember when I said I'm not scared of anything.  Or afraid of dying.  Whatever I said.  Well I'm shit scared of my house blowing up from ancient gas pipes.  Just about every neighborhood in NYC has been around for 100 years.  My house was built in 1941.  Gas pipes being old and shit, sewage, the subway is old, electrics are old.  NYC is old.  A disadvantage to some, a historic treasure to others.


Klondike bars are extremely underrated.  Solid thin crunch of chocolate over good vanilla ice cream.  I mean you couldn't fuck that up if you tried.  Just a solid frozen treat to enjoy in the house.  Cheap too.  And neatly wrapped in some cheap aluminum based paper product of some sort.


Easter candy is amazing.  Reminds me of the paradox of things we should eat all year round not just holidays or special occasions.  Like corned beef.  I know keef corned beef is gross.  God you are the worst.  Anyway corned beef is delicious and I will eat it more than just on st. pattys day.  Easter candy is incredible.  I will eat jelly beans all year round and buy those marshmallow egg carton things and freeze them.  Also don't forget the GOAT of easter candy.  NERDS JELLY BEANS.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Tuesday

Insensitive Opening

So, call me insensitive, call me a dick, whatever, but I do not get why this Columbus/Dallas hockey game was postponed because some dude had a heart attack or something on the bench. He didn't die, he was conscious, so it isn't like someone died. He had known heart issues so it wasn't like he found some anthrax and the whole stadium was at risk. I think in football I have seen about 100 dudes get carted off the field and the game continues, in baseball I have seen guys get beaned in the head and drop like a rock and get taken off the field and the game continues, in basketball I have seen Paul Pierce severely hurt himself and the game continues and then later Pierce comes back as if nothing happens, also I have seen a dude get his leg broke in half with the bone sticking out and the game continues (should I link it meiz?) in soccer people get injured all the time to the point of apparent near death and then they play on, why does hockey stop the game? Hockey used to be the tough guy game, but I guess it is not. I truly feel sorry for the family involved and wish the dude all the best, but stopping the game seemed like a HUGE overreaction.



Randomness

I think the plot of Dharma and Greg is from a Mad Lib game.
I think the window is almost closed for any Jen Aniston nude scenes in a movie.
I miss nude Charlize Theron.
CiCi's pizza closed around here. We have no good pizza buffets. Not that Cici's is really good, but it was the best we had. Although they didn't take reservations.


Bucs

Nobody is going to trade for Revis if they all know you are going to release him in a week or less. Stupid Bucs. Good trade to get him though.



Now begins the El Padrinoesque section of the show

Things I think I would have been awesome at if I started trying at a young age and kept with it for awhile:

NASCAR
Baseball
MMA
Math
Acting
Book writing
Water skiing
Dirt bike riding




Monday, March 10, 2014

monday

want to see where all the NFL free agents end up already

Wednesday, March 05, 2014

The way she moved reminded me of a brown stallion horse with skates on, yanno? Smooth like a hot comb on nappy-ass hair.

Just figured I'd post for the halibut.

I can't really say how incredible and important going to see Outkast live is to me.  I wish I could make you guys understand, but I don't think I can.  One my favorite things about this show is that it's at the Marcus Amphitheater at Summerfest.  For it's size the Amp is a rather intimate venue.  I'm so fucking giddy for this.  I apologize if I seem like I'm going overboard with all this, but this is my favorite musical act of all time.

Bron.  Bron dropped 61 on the Bobcats on Monday.  I wish he had gone perfect from outside the arc.  I believe he was 8 for 8, and wound up 8 for 10.  I'm a LeBron James stan.  That dude is amazing.  Twitter's been pretty hilarious and sad with all the Bron haters and Kobe stans talking about Kobe's 81 point game like it mattered.  Did that team even make the playoffs?  Ahh, that's right, 7 seed & knocked out in the 1st round.  Again, I'm a Bron stan.

I think H was on an episode of Chopped I watched tonight.  Related, I'm sick of Chopped being on all the time.  I'm also sick of college basketball being on all the damn time.

I've been digging on this Building Wild show on NatGeo.

Gotta try to get a refund on a Brewers ticket I boat last night.  Having our annual spring holiday tailgate party on April 27(Togo Independence Day. We've hashtagged it #TogoParty on twitter*), and moments after I bought my ticket, a twitter/BrewCrewBall friend offered me his second.  Worst case, I sell it for a 25 cent loss.  These are my favorite tailgates and are a new tradition we started in 2012 with the Easter tailgate, and then last year we did Cinco de Mayo.  Good times.

Here's the song the title of the post is from.


Authentico Pizza Talk:
I have a coupon for a large 3-topping pizza from the Hut. I'll be cashing that in. 4 meals for $8 and change.

I'm running out of steam.

Jug is looking for opinions on Sonos speakers.  The ball is in your court, Blue.

The saga of Rob Ford is insane and intrigues me. 

I'm listening to Southernplayalisticadillacmusic while half-typing this.  Great album.  My Outkast album rankings:

Aquemini
Stankonia
ATLiens
Southernplayalisticadillacmusic
Speakerboxxx
The Love Below
Idlewild

They're all outstanding, in my opinion.  Aquemini is somewhere in my top 4 albums of all time with Abbey Road, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, and Dark Side Of The Moon.


I have nothing else to say at this point.






*Cripes. There's also a #ToGoParty tag. Welp.

Friday, February 28, 2014

HEY BEY BEY

Hey baseball!  Ozzie Smiff take your meds bro.


Fucking Mets.


Dandy Sandy thinks they can and should win 90 games this year.  I'll continue once you guys stop laughing.












































SURFBORT
SURFBORT


My problem with suite potato fries is you can't dip them in catchup* and I want fries I can dip in catchup*.  You feel me?


Oscars?  Yes even though I haven't seent* any of the movies.  Same ol story.  Just hope 12 years a slave doesn't win everything because fucking slavery.  Gravity seems like it should win something.  Maybe like best director cuz that shit look cray.  Christian Bale seems good at his profession.


In wrestling news Hulk Hogan is back at WWE and the WrestleMania 30 host.  Also this WWE Network sounds like it's the shit.  And Ric Flair turnt* 65 this past week.  WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!


Charlotte is a small ass city.  Two lefts and a right and you clear of the city.


2014 Witchita State > 2007 St. Joes


Advice:


Never answer your wife truthfully when asked "would you fuck her".  Especially if you're are me. 


Always make eye contact with the bus driver as you pass in front of his idle bus.


Eat more fruit.  Specifically citrus.


If the opportunity presents itself, get hurt at work.


Watch as much as TV as possible.  Same thing as reading a book.


Have at least 4 ounces of hard liquor daily.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino