Friday, September 04, 2015

Footyball Preview 2015 - El Padrino

"When you jump and then land or begin to run, you need both the quadriceps muscle in front of your knee and your hamstring muscles in the back of your knee to fire at exactly the same time," said Dr. Robert Klapper, the chief of orthopedic surgery at the Cedars-Sinai Medical Group in Los Angeles. "If the hamstring is a fraction of a second off in firing, as you fire the quadriceps muscle, you are literally moving the tibia forward on the femur and it snaps the ligament." - Torn ACL

Welcome to preview. As always these thoughts are that of my own and should not be taken to a betting window or neighborhood bookie even though they are probably 85.8% accurate.

NFC EAST
I mean my god how fucked up are the Redskins. My thoughts on RGIII are, and they never changed, he has to learn to throw the ball from the pocket. Not the moving pocket, not on the run, not on a bootleg but in the pocket created by the line. And his second read decisions are trash. More than half of his picks, career picks, are thrown in the direction of his second progression receiver. I think he could be great. And not with the right coaching staff his arm talent is bonkers. Mentally, not sure he is there and playing for the Skins has just made that worse. Cowboys had a quiet off-season for the Cowboys no? See what happens when you win. Now keep it up. Giants offense is supposed to be great this year. I think that's the only thing you can point to though. Question marks everywhere else. Chip Kelly had a hell of an offseason didn't he? From being called racist multiple times to trading and signing marquee names all the while breaking in a talented but oft injured blue chipper qb to run his complicated fast system.

Eagles (10-6) - 3 seasons 30 wins. Will Bradford hold up? How many times can you tear a knee to shreds? Demarco Murray signing was huge. He's bigger than Shady and just as fast. The depth on this team at the skill position is better this year.

Cowboys (9-7) - Joseph Randle? Cmon son. Running backs grow on trees in this league. But the drop off from what Murray gave them to what Randle and DMC is going to give them is a big gap. Romo needs the running game to produce. I see a slip in production and the Scandrick injury was big.

Giants (7-9) - So long Tom Coughlin. It's been real. You are a hall of famer in my book. And I fucking love you. You hear me? I FUCKING LOVE YOU DAD. BWAHHHAHHHA please don't go. *HEAVY SOBBING*

Teams will prepare for Beckham, Cruz will not be Cruz until Week 8, Randle sucks, the offensive line is still not there, the defense continues to have an alarming number of injuries and Spagnuolo doesn't have Strahan, Pierre Paul and Justin Tuck. Jerry Reese has an uneven record drafting and signing players. I think he's gone too.

Skins (3-13) - This team will be brutal. What they need to do is run Alfie Mo 400 times, blitz a lot and play the field position game. Something tells me that is not Jay Gruden's style.

NFC North
DA NORRIS DIVISION. Fucking Berman. Everyone and their crack mama's are calling this for the Packers. NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND. Corso that bitch. When Corso strokes out and dies I will be mucho sad. Anyway the Vikings are going to feature a power running game, a couple of burners on the outside and two underneath threats for 2nd year pro Teddy Bridgewater. If I said I like the Vikings over team total wins of 8 (vegas line) more than I like my own set of nuts it would be a major understatement and I LOVE MY NUTS. Mike Zimmer can flat out coach a defense. They will be flying around. Packers have always had a hard time containing AP as do many other teams, including the Bears and Lions. Oh yeah the Lions. 11-5 last year yes? What are they dog shit? Because Suh left they regress you think? MMMMM. I don't know. Only the Bears are the clear cut "I know what that record will be" team.

Vikings (11-5) - Remember when Jordan took some time off and came back to win championships? Peterson is of that mold. Purple is the new black.

Lions (10-6)
- This offense is still loaded. Good line, borderline great QB, GOAT WR, good secondary wr's, plenty of tight ends, good backs. Defense will be fine, just not as stingy. I see no reason to grade this team lower than last years 11-5 team. Just throwing in a bad loss for mathematical purposes.

Packers (8-8) - This is my shocking entry. Like I said at the top everyone is picking the Packers even after Rodgers lost his best weapon. McCarthy not calling plays, pretty much delegating them to a guy who will be overridden by Rodgers anyway. The defense is eh. The Vikings are better. The Bears will not be gimmes and the Lions are there as well. I'm also calling a Rodgers injury. Just a hunch.

Bears (4-12)
- John Fox means nothing to me. Without Peyton and the weapons there that first year in Denver would have not been successful. He is fine tuning this roster along with their new GM.

NFC South
I never know what to make of the Panthers. They are either 8-8 or 12-4. It seems that way anyway. The Saints will never go back to those high powered years. I actually think Brees is on the decline. As I write this they are losing their top defensive player at least for 6 weeks (Keenan Lewis). Perfect storm for Dan Quinn in Atlanta. No expectations. A 4-12 year while not optimal will not get you fired unless insubordination is rampant. I think with the pieces he is slowly putting together they will be solid real soon. What to make of Winston. He's super talented. Not quite as dumb as people may think. Actually has a real good concept of the game. Interesting division. Here's how I see it.

Falcons (9-7) - Should be pretty good on offense. Better than anyone else in the division. I mean the Falcons will probably score more points in the first quarters of weeks 1-6 then the Panthers will score all year. Under a new defensive regime, catch a few breaks, this team should be in the hunt.

Bucs (7-9) - Growing pains but flashes of greatness from Jameis. I think he has it all. Pushing the off the field stuff aside including the sexual assault stuff I mean he's so young. I was an asshole when I was young too. Without all the distractions. Two really good WR's. A nice back, few good defensive pieces. Good steady coach. Weak division.

Saints (6-10) - Just not seeing it. Brees in decline. No Graham. Still no defense. When are they going to address that defense? Bring bounties back or something. There is no talent. Mickey Loomis is overrated. They also have a dark cloud coming from ownership hanging over the franchise. Shit is ugly.

Panthers (4-12)
- Turn out the lights Ron Rivera. Cleary regressed from two years ago they went 7-8-1 last year and sneaked into the playoffs. They can't score. For years now they do not score. They never draft anyone sure fire or sign anyone that can change definetly that. I will never understand this. Never.

NFC WEST
So long San Fran. Nice knowing you. Seahawks all day nothing to see here.

Seahawks (12-4) - Right there. With or without Kam Chancellor. Team is still intact and they added a weapon at tight end. Secondary will be fine.

Rams (9-7) - Is this Fisher's first winning season here? I think so. Well if I'm right. Foles gives them some stability on offense and their defense is still very good.

Arizona (6-10) - Lost Bowles who really coordinated a great defense last year. Continuity in this league is important. Palmer is back, for now that will help but no running game. Leaky offensive line and they have a brutal schedule. Brutal. Three cupcakes in a row then lights out after that.

Niners (2-14) - If you can have a worse off-season then the Niners you might be the Redskins. I mean jesus Christ. Police blotter, headlines, acrimonious split from success, weird promotions, terrible stadium planning, bad landscapers, blood-letting of roster and the Super Bowl site jinx. Forget it.

Division Winners
Vikings (BYE), Seahawks (Bye), Eagles, Falcons
Wild Card winners
Lions, Cowboys
Wild Card Weekend
Eagles over Cowboys
Lions over Falcons
Divisional Weekend
Eagles over Vikings
Seahakws over Lions
Championship Weekend
Seahakws over Eagles

Seahawks king of the NFC again. Three straight Super Bowl appearances.

AFC East
I mean Pats all day no? It's amazing the consistency they have been able to produce. Jets enter a new era but they are the Jets. They do not have a quarterback. The Dolphins are everyones other sleeper pick but is that Joe Philbin a winner? I don't know, I kind of just look at him and think "ordinary". He looks like a shitty doctor. Rex! I'm excited for the Tyrod Taylor era. I hope they start him.

Pats (12-4) - Garapolo is probably all like, yo that was close. Thank god. Pussy.

Bills (9-7) - Most exciting team no one will see.

Fins (6-10) - Fire Dr. Philbin already.

Jets (4-12) - Welcome to NY MR. Bowles.

AFC North
Another slobberknocker year for this division. A division that the Bengals have sort of dominated. Could it be they just wear out by the time January comes? No. This isn't a grind like baseball. They just never put together 4 quarters in any of those 1st round losses.  I think they crumble.  For no reason.  Some if it is on Andy but some of it is on the defense too. Rothlisberger is poised for a big time year. I think he leads the league in yards this year. Over 5K. The Ravens have a more balanced team this year. They are always hanging around. Poor Cle. If they were in the NFC south they'd have a shot.

Steelers (13-3) - Ben's best year. And once Bell returns they become borderline unstoppable on offense. Even with the poor play on defense and rash of injuries. Nothing is telling me this is a 13 win team but that's why I like the pick.

Ravens (10-6) - Ravens will be right there. Well coached. Consistency at QB.

Browns (5-11) - They won't win many contests but will be cover dogs.

Bengals (4-12) - Fuck Keef. Someone has to be 4-12. Might as well be them. Maybe they will get rid of Lewis now.

AFC South
I think the Colts have a real shot this year. They got slapped around pretty good in the deflategate game and still taste the blood. They need a defensive star to emerge. Hard Knocks went a little overboard with JJ but can you blame them? He's a super duper star. The Titans will be giving teams problems this year.

Colts (14-2) - Super bowl or bust. Will Pagano finally deliver a defense that can make stops when they have to?

Texans (9-7) - I watched Hard Knocks. Bill O B is hilarious. Just line up Watt anywhere and he'll dominate.

Titans (9-7) - Mariota wins ROY. Dr. Bounty has some fun with a top ten defense.

Jags (3-13) - In the middle of a major rebuild with two improving teams and one great one in their division. 0-6.

AFC WEST
On the heels of that ginormous contract it kind of feels like San Diego's year no? It does to me. Peyton stopped eating chicken parm so he will be spry in December/January. No worries. Oakland is improving to me and fast. I like Del Rio. Lasted a long time in that northern Florida shit hole. Maclin is just what the Dr. ordered in KC.

Chargers (12-4) - Gonna be one of those years where Rivers throws it on everyone and does that stupid trash talking thing he does.

Chiefs (10-6) - Returned all key spots. Have a real WR. They never turn the ball over.

Broncos (8-8) - It's over.

Raiders (6-10) - Growing pains but signs of life in the bay area. They will be better than the Niners at least.

Division winners
Pats, Steelers (BYE), Colts (BYE), Chargers
Wild Card Winners
Ravens, Chiefs
Wild Card weekend
Ravens over Pats, Chargers over Chiefs
Divisional Weekend
Steelers over Ravens, Colts over Chargers
Championship Weekend
Colts over Steelers

AFC Champ Colts

Luck vs. Wilson. Ugh so many stories that week.

Hawks return to glory. 36-24

Super Bowl champ Seahawks. But that's it. The entire defense holds out the next year, Carroll quits due to a sexual assault charge and the 12th man dies.

have fun boys





Friday, August 07, 2015

Who give a fuck about Cecil the lion?

One thing I'll never understand.  Hunting for trophy.  But I'd never ostracize a person for doing it.  Last I checked this was America.  Keep your outrage limited to parking tickets, dirty politicians, scams, Jehovah Witness preachers and kids who fuck up fast food orders.  For crissakes does everyone need to agree on how a person should live or what to believe in?  Social media makes everything 1000 times worse. 

Oh by the way, shit like this still happens all over the world.
"Bangladeshi blogger who criticised Islam hacked to death..."

And we over here stressing about a dead lion in Africa.

So baseball has been pretty fantastic.  Lots of good stories nationally.  Will be a nice end, good pennant races to follow and interesting matchups potentially in October.
That's all I have to say about that.

August = Arian Foster injury month

FOOOOOOOOOTBAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL
is right around the corner.
I draft 8th.  Antonio Brown time

Woodford Reserve is all kinds of delicious. 

Imagine living the life of Aaron Rodgers......Man that guy has it made.  Jeter-esque.  Just pulling out of Olivia Munn and dropping babies on her belly.   All kinds of suite.

Seriously is Rubio related to Alf or something.  Dem some ears bro.

I'm in the minority on True Detective season 2.  I like.

I wish Olympic committee's and FIFA (we know why FIFA does it, obvi) would stop picking third world countries or emerging markets to hold the events.  Brazil, an emerging market, does not have a clean water supply.  It's so bad Olympic athletes cannot even practice in it for fear of catching some mutated disease or virus.  USA is one of the only countries that is equipped to deal with all the problems these games create on day one.  You can hold the World Cup in America tomorrow if you want.  Either all on the east coast or all on the west coast or in between, north or south.  Don't matter.  We got this.

USA USA USA



Monday, July 13, 2015

All Star Break

We needed a fresh post.

The Red Sox suck this year.
Does anyone even watch the Homerun Derby anymore?
What about the All Star Game?
What was the biggest surprise of the first half of the season?
Biggest disappointment?
Any reaction to Greg Hardy's suspension being reduced? Does it affect Brady's case at all.

Discuss.

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

Deflate this

Boston sucks. NEXT!!!

Seriously though, gotta get that deflate bs behind us. It's summertime. Get in the pool. Go stare at ladies in sun dresses. Drink fruity drinks.

Don't forget Miller 64!! /Mize

Houston/Cubs World Series would be pretty suite. You know who won't be in the WS? The Breer's. Or Cincy. Or the Red Sux. Or the goddamn pirates. Or the Rox. Or the Mess. Or the Pale Hose.

I wonder if they call chicks in Sconnie pale hose...

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Deflategate? B.S.

Ok, so you knew this was coming.

I'll start off by saying that I try not to be a Boston sports homer. I try to stay as level headed as possible. I don't always succeed. Do I think the footballs in question were potentially under inflated on purpose? Yes, it is absolutely possible. It would be na├»ve of me to think otherwise. NFL teams, and pro teams in general, always try to push the envelope of the rules to gain any advantage they can. "Gamesmanship" is as old as sport itself. That said, and I cannot emphasize this enough, I do not believe that Tom Brady told the ball boys to break any rules, nor do I think the Wells report proved any intentional impropriety. There are too many holes in the investigative process to justify this punishment. Let's look at a couple key points.

First and foremost, in my opinion, the most crucial piece of information is not included anywhere in the report. What was the exact psi of both the Patriots' and Colts' footballs when measured by Walt Anderson prior to the AFC Championship Game? This info is at the crux of the entire issue and the report relies on Anderson's recollection as opposed to any documentation. I don't know much about Walt Anderson, other than he is a 19 year veteran NFL official and has a pretty good reputation. That said, doesn't he have a vested interest in protecting his professional reputation? If he came out and said he didn't properly measure prior to the game, wouldn't he now be the one under fire? That is a huge issue to me as far as credibility goes. The other issue with the lack of documented pregame numbers is that the report later asserts that the Patriots' footballs decreased in pressure to a greater degree than the Colts' footballs. Again, relying upon Anderson's recollection of the numbers instead of documented fact. It's very easy to manipulate facts without a starting point being written down. Do I think it is a conspiracy and Anderson hates the Patriots? Absolutely not, but I do feel that there is an inherent interest in protecting his own reputation and image and therefore a conflict of interest in his recollection.

The second issue is that Roger Goodell was asked at his Super Bowl press conference about whether the NFL had ever tested air pressure during halftime of any game in the league's history. Goodell replied that he couldn't say whether they had or hadn't, which to me suggests the latter. If it were common practice, then the Commissioner would have said so. That said, there once again is no reference point (scientists call it a control group) for comparison. During the course of a game, footballs are thrown with great force, hit with helmets as defenders attempt to knock it loose, spiked in celebration, and fallen on by very large men, sometimes several of them at a time. How do we know that any of the above don't or can't affect the psi of the footballs? In short, we can't because they've never measured them before and have no way to show the allegedly decrease in pressure was abnormal.

Also at issue is the fact that 2 separate gauges were used at halftime, showing two different measurements for each of the measured footballs (12 Patriots', 4 Colts'). 2 men using 2 different gauges came up with 2 different measurements each time. The report states that Anderson can't remember which gauge he used pregame versus which he used at halftime. He thinks he used one, but the report asserts that he must have used the other. Again, why? If you're going to rely on his recollection for the baseline psi numbers, why are you then going to refute his recollection of which gauge he used? Because it makes the alleged drop in pressure seem more egregious and damning.

Let's move on to the supposedly incriminating text messages between McNally and Jastremski. (Bird and JJ, respectively.) These texts are taken completely out of context, and we're supposed to take them at face value, with no potential for hyperbole or sarcasm. I read those messages as two guys bitching about their boss. We all do it and we all know other people who do to. How does this prove anything? Yes, McNally referred to himself as "The Deflator." Does this mean Brady told him to set an illegal pressure? Is it outside the realm of reasonable possibility that Brady was upset about game balls not being up to his liking, yelled about it because he wanted them at the minimum level, and the two guys joking about that? If he likes them at 12.5 psi and got them at 13.5 or 14 or 16, wouldn't the name Deflator still apply? Why is this nickname taken to mean something nefarious was going on? Also, nowhere in those text messages does it state that Brady wants the balls set at a particular psi, legal or otherwise. In fact, the only reference to a specific psi was when one of them was lamenting how "the refs f**ked us" by inflating the balls to 16 psi, which he found when he measured them the next day. So, are we to believe that the guy who was allegedly deflating footballs after the refs measure them left them at such a high level?

Now comes Tom Brady. The report states that he lied when he stated that he didn't know McNally, whose nickname around the locker room is bird. You all have known me for years as H. If it wasnt for Facebook friendships, many of you wouldn't know my real name. If someone asked you, "Hey, how's Mike Hilario doing, you might think you don't know me. I have had friends from the music and bar scene who had known me for years without knowing my real name. So if they said they didn't know me, would that make them liars?

As far as the cell phone issue, I can understand Brady not wanting to give his phone to investigators. Like all of us, he likely has personal information on there, conversations with his wife and family, and other potentially sensitive, unrelated information on his phone. With the number of leaks that came out of the NFL offices and other sources in this and other recent investigations, I can understand the concern that personal info could be leaked to the public. We all remember the iCloud hack of not long ago. Is it possible that Brady has similar type of material on his phone? That is only one of literally hundreds of possibilities that could make someone want to hold onto their phone. I don't think his refusal is an admission of guilt. Other than this one area, Brady cooperated fully with the investigation, and the report states as much.

I could go on, but I think I've sufficiently poked enough holes in the report on which the NFL relied upon to determine their punishment of Brady and the Patriots Organization. How you can turn around and justify such a steep penalty using this flawed document is mind boggling. I reference again a quote from page 228 of the report. "In sum, the data did not provide a basis for us to determine with absolute certainty whether there was or was not tampering as the analysis of such data ultimately is dependent upon assumptions and information that is not certain." Case closed. The report also states that Bill Belichick and the Patriots likely did not know of any tampering that may have occurred.

This penalty is simply an overreaction and response to public pressure and outcry. The NFL botched the initial punishments for Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson, and Greg Hardy last season. With the Rice suspension specifically, the initial 2 game suspension was only increased after TMZ released the footage from the elevator, which the NFL to this day denies seeing before that day. After the public outcry, Rice's suspension was increased in length. So, rather than risk another misstep, the NFL released the report last week, waited to gauge public sentiment, and then determined punishment. That is absolutely ridiculous and unfair scapegoating of Tom Brady and the Patriots.

I know I'm going to get slammed for this whole thing, but the point is the NFL doesn't have the evidence required for such a harsh penalty. I really hope that this another case where the NFL loses on appeal, but in general I am very disappointed and surprised about what has transpired here.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Draft Day

Man I love me some draft. I was going to do a mock here but mad busy yo so just some thoughts.

Mariota > Winston IMO

Dante Fowler Jr. - best player on the board IMO

Vic Beasly is a project. Projects shouldn't be drafted in the first round (unless they are drafted by the Giants then it's ok because they know better than everyone, example : Jason Pierre Paul).

Think Tennessee is dumb if they trade out of 2, Mariota is clearly the play here. Doesn't matter what the Browns offer.

Also, the Browns don't deserve Mariota.

I hope Amari Cooper develops a british accent. Black dudes with British accents are cool.

Gruden is a god damn national treasure.

Also, I love how he shits on Kiper.

I don't see any corners going in the first round, according to my own big board.

Weak field overall for defensive backs

Big Bud Dupree fan.

Rounds 2-4 win championships.

Random thoughts:

Shame the Clips/Spurs series will be over. Great times so far.

I want to stop feeling tired.

Mayweather is an asshole but he's the best.

Billy D making the jump. Not sure how TP feels about that.

I'm going to miss the shit out of David Letterman

I don't get why politicians try and blame each other for things like the Baltimore riots. It's like assholes, it's not always about red and blue. They are just the worst. Both sides suck.

Things like that always boil down to one thing to me, economics. A stable economy in any city large or small is the key to success. Whether dems or republicans are in charge instead of fighting for lobbyists and special interest groups and political power they should fight for the people of their district. Create jobs.

CNN is a clown show

Fucking Avengers

Apple's first quarter is redonk on HGH.

Be careful with that iCarly chick boys, she's a lying hoe on that show.

Wedding song update : The ginger meiz crushes on is #1 "Thinking Out Loud"
(last year it was All of You, Legend)


Friday, April 10, 2015

El Pad Update

I'm doing fine.

Some topics to discuss.

Ted Cruz is a nut.
Rand Paul, slightly less nutty.

No chance Hillary is president. Bet. 5G's.

Equal pay for woman. Um, but, so, let me... Well first I want to say.....

Nevermind.

Funny how they ignore and by they I mean anyone who talks about it that, equal pay for women or woman as El Pad would say, the fact that it's not the norm in all industries. In most? Probably. But in porn woman get paid more, you don't see a sweaty cock union picketing asking for equal pay for men. Modeling. Hairdressers, especially if you discount the gay men as actually being men. There is equal pay in most government posts, funny how no one mentions that. SEC of State makes whatever it is the Sec of State makes. A frog can be Sec and State and the frog would get paid the same.

Also you know on average males, no matter the color but for this argument white works best, work harder than women, take less time off, spend more time in the office and generally are just better at their job?

Let's talk Iran.

Ending U.S. sanctions on a country that prays Death to America daily is ok with me as long as we never actually allow them to make a bomb. It's like when the kids play with that fake kitchen. They think they are cooking......

Also I'd like to add centrifuge to my annual xmas wish list.

I want to see Furious 7 so I can cry.

Damn shame NFL has a muzzle on ESPN. I need some Pedro Gomez in my life with daily Aaron Hernandez trial speak. I understand why the NFL network refuses to not even acknowledge it but damn ESPN. How does it feel to swim in that programming blood money?

Listeria hummus won't sell well.

CUBA? Sure why not. That country is more behind the times than North Korea.

Fast food pay raises? I mean I guess. Let me ask though what does the amount of money a corporation makes have to do with what they pay their employees? Assembling a burger takes little effort and requires zero skill. Why should they pay anyone anything more than what the job requires. I believe in paying people according to living wage and keeping up with inflation but not basing it on how nice a company's balance sheet looks. And stop having children if you can't afford the ones you already have. What does Ronald McDonald have to do with you being a whore.

John Oliver, we are lucky to have him.

Think I'm gonna get the boys together to watch the draft at an establishment.

Every time Harvey pitches I'm hard.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Runny diary

I was going to do a runny diary of the I heart radio music awards. Then the first award for best lyrics came on and the nominees included Sam Smith, John Legend, Ed Shereen and the winner was Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift won an award for best lyrics. On an actual "awards" show. In real life. I realized at that point that this was the worst show ever made. So I fast forwarded through most of the rest of the show. FF to the layperson. Here are some highlights. Kelly Clarkson don't give a fuck how fat she is. She looks like she ate Kelly Clarkson. Iggy Azalea might be irrelevant in a year. She does the same thing in every song. Megan Trainor is yahuge. Ya.....Huge. I really really really really am trying to learn to tolerate country music. Really I am. But I can't. I'm sorry. Whenever is comes on, I try to "appreciate" it, but I end up changing it after a minute. Sue me.

Beisbol is almost here. Giants won't win this year. I'm picking a Blue Jays/Nationals World Series. Gross. The Yankees and Red Sux will fight for 4th/5th place. The Breer's will finish in 4th or 5th and I will win $30 from Mize.

NBA finals will be Cleveland and Houston. I've seen 7 minutes of nba all season.

NHL finals will be LA and Pittsburgh. I've seen zero minutes of hockey and don't even know if those two teams are in the playoffs.

Kentucky will win the NCAA title.

I'm going to Arlington this week. I hope I see the changing of the guard.

Friday, March 13, 2015

IT'S FRIIIIIIDAY!

So this happened on the Twitter masheen last night




It's pretty awesome

Will Ferrell yada yada yada.  Thus far, I've only seen one piece of footage of him making a play. I want to see more.

I think we've discussed the Eagles slightly less than the national media.  I don't think they'll be any good. 8-8.

TACO TALK

What's your preferred taco at home? Ground beef? Chicken? Steak? Pork? I like chicken best. They feel healthier and kinda fancy.
What are your go-to toppings for tacos? I'm a simple man. Cheese, lettuce, Ortega hot taco sauce. Man, I really hate when grocery stores don't have the big bottle of the Ortega hot sauce. Anyone else tried the retail Taco Bell sauces? If you haven't, don't. They suck. They don't taste anything like they do from Taco Bell.

BUCKS TALK

I love this current Bucks team. The Edens & Lazry are building this team the right way. They're gonna be scary good in a couple years. Making the playoffs this season actually disappoints me. I wanted another high lottery pick/a shot at Jahlil Okafor. Oh well, at least Jabari will be back next year.
Khris Middleton. That dude is fucking good at basketball. I loved when he got "thrown in" the Jennings trade. Turning a shoot first PG with a shit FG% into Middleton, Carter-Williams, Tyler Ennis, and Miles Plumlee is fucking amazing.

BREER'S TALK
The 2015 Milwaukee Brewers will not finish 4th or 5th in the NL Central. Thanks for the $30, Keith. I think I'll put it towards a new pair of sneakers.

POOPWATCH!

It's been a long time since I've had to bail out the the shower in the morning to shit. I know Jug cares.


I bet it's the coolest shit in the world to be a millionaire. I mean, you can pretty much do whatever the fuck you want whenever you want. I don't understand why so many of these CEOs, and top end execs bother to keep working when they've been making a few/several/many millions of dollars a year for the last 15 years. What's the fuckin' point? Just quit.

Shit, if I even made 35 to 40k, I'd be out here stuntin' on motherfuckers. System in the whip, actual furnishings in a nicer apartment(not too fancy though), able to travel for a vacation, sheiit.


THE END  
I wanted to post my favorite Ed Sheeran song/video, but I couldn't find the version I wanted. It's "Don't" off his VH1 Storytellers show. Instead I'll throw my second favorite one. This is "Thinking Out Loud". I dig this cat's music.


Monday, February 23, 2015

Is your diary running? You better go get it.

Back by my demand, live on tape delay, here is my attempt at some humor. Aitch probably won't be impressed. I'm no Dane Cook or Denis Leary. Sue me.
The red carpet show is currently on. I'm making fun of people. Weird. Cmk gave up talking bad about people for lent. What a waste. Right now they're showing Faith Hill and Tug McGraw. Or Tim. Whichever one wasn't the former pitcher. But I've never seen him without a hat so I didn't have any idea who it was.
Lady Gaga side boob. She's still gross.
Patricia Arquette looks like csil looked today when she dropped cmk off from the bachelorette party. Not. Good. She should brush her hair.
The guy who met my mother is opening up the show with a whitey joke. Now he's singing. I've lost interest already. Jeez, this is long. I think they mislabeled this and it's really the Tony awards.  
There's Nicole Kidman and her wife.
This first presenter is baa-lackkkk. Like, a lot. And she's wearing a white dress made of pearls or something. I think they call that contrast.
Best supporting actor goes to the Farmers Insurance guy. Good for him. Those commercials are good. Side note, I want to see Whiplash. Doogie made a funny, "he, won an Oscar, bum ba bum bum bum bum bum.
Side note, I don't want to see Grand Budapest Hotel. I'm not sure if I want to see American Sniper.
Adam Levine. FF
J-Lo always has to wear a dress cut down the middle to the waist. I don't like her or her small boobs. Costume award...FF
Reese Witherspoon and her 7-head is presenting the makeup and hairstyle award. Tem probably wouldn't, but I will...FF
Channing Tatum is so dreamy. He kind of looks like Sean Casey right now. That's not a compliment.
Nicole Kidman and a really black guy. I think they call that contrast. Best foreign film. FF
Side note, I want to see Boyhood. I also want to see The Theory of Everything. I want to see Birdman, like a lot.
Everything is awesome. Apparently. They should have told their song that.
Lisps drive me crazy. I don't know why. Do you know what else drives me crazy? Live action short films. FF
Documentary short subject sounds like an awful category. FF
Governor's award time. The nominees are Ahnold, Jesse the Body, and Jeb Bush. SWIDT?
Doogie is walking around in his underwear. Bilok is drooling.
Side note, I want to see Unbroken.
Jesus is presenting Best Supporting Actress. I thought he'd be too busy for this gig. And the winner is....hot mess Patricia. What is she talking about? She's as big of a mess inside as she is outside.
Anna Kendrick is cute enough. Not hot, but cute. Kevin Hart is just a little guy. Der. Best animated short film. FF
This Zoey chick is cute. Great rack. She's presenting best animated film with aThe Rock, or as he was introduced, Dwayne Johnson. Big Hero 6 wins. Not sure why Lego Movie wasn't nominated. It's not like it was a big year for animated movies.
Time to see who dies this year. Meryl Streep is presenting. She might be on next year's montage. I always feel bad for the people who don't get any applause.
Side note, I want to see The Imitation Game. I don't want to see Selma.
I said Keira Knightly kind of looks like Natalie Portman sometimes. Cmk was offended.
Jennifer Aniston is so hot. She'll be 80 years old and still be hot. But I'll be 70 so it won't sound as weird.
John Legend and Common singing some song about race. Unfortunately I'm caught up on the DVR.  That's racist. I might have said is before, but John Legend's wife is fugly. Can't believe she's an SI model.
Best song, Glory. Yay civil rights. Just lost all respect for John Legend. Get off your high zorse. Don't stand there and talk to me about there being more black men currently incarcerated in this country than there were enslaved on plantations in the 1800s. The fuck outta here with that drivel. Don't even make that comparison.
ScarJo, yes please, still.
Lady Gaga, no thank you, still. Girl can sing, though.
 Eddie Murphy is in the top 5 grossing actors of all time? Goddamn. I wonder how that's calculated. Like, does Shrek's earnings count towards his total? Or does it only count movies where you're the lead actor?
Side note, I want to see Foxcatcher.
Best director goes to Birdman director. Alejandro de Mexicano.
Best actor. I hope it's Mr. Mom. And the winner is, the dude who played Stephen Hawking. He just did the ice bucket challenge.
Best actress. Winner is, Julianne Moore. Fucking gingers. I've never even heard of the movie she's in.
Best picture, presented by Sean Penn. I remember when he was married to Madonna. The winner is Birdman.
Goodnight now!

Friday, February 06, 2015

Pity post

I was thinking about this the other day.  Suppose the Blazers dont fuck up and they draft Jordan.  Would Jordan have been as big of a superstar as he was in Chicago.  I mean I'm assuming he would have been the exact same player, but would he have been as big a star based in a small market?  Now he would have been in Nike's backyard, but would he have had the national draw for Nike to even notice him?  I mean would he have been Damien Lillard?  group text, discuss.

I've gone back and forth on the stupid call in the Super Bowl.  I saw an angle that showed how open lockette was when Wilson started his throwing motion.  I've come to this, it wasn't that bad of a call, but an all time play by butler.  Now, that being said, the likelihood of butler making an all time great play is higher than anyone making a similar type of play on a running play.  This has been beat to death, but I don't think Bevell ever gets a HC opportunity now.  I also believe that Carroll didn't want to deal with having to pay or cut the Super Bowl MVP in the offseason if Marshawn would have won it.

Marshawn lynch and Gronk playing Mortal Kombat on Conan was must see.

Wonder what Aaron Hernandez is up to these days.

Is it just me or are most of the pats great players white?  So Seahawks vs Pats was like black guys vs white dudes?

Apparently you don't fuck with Jordan (the country)

Friday, January 30, 2015

Super Bowl

I'll stick with the tried and true "Defense Wins Championships" but a few points here. Hawks +1

I wonder which weapon Belichick will commit to taking away. Lynch or Wilson's zone read runs/options. Or both?

If the former, will he live with one on one coverage on the outside?

My take is take Lynch out of the game. Revis was a tremendous signing, let the man do his job. Baldwin is average and Kearse is below average.

I'm taking the under 47.5 in this game. All of Pats Super Bowls with the exception of the Carolina one, their first, hit the under.

Part of my reasoning is that the Seahawks offense is pretty bad, statistically the only thing they do well is run. And I have to figure Belichick will take that element away, or try. On the other side Seattle's best weapon is their defense. Even with the ball in their territory 7 times in the first quarter vs. Green Bay they only gave up 16 points. 4 times in the Red Zone.....Bend don't break I guess.

Gronk effect. Pats will be creative in getting him open.

Seattle speacializes in the same defense the Giants have beaten the Pats with in their last 2 appearences. This is truth. Good four man rush, press corners, backers moving back and forth in their lanes and at least one safety.

Brady is the best QB, statistically, vs. blitzes. More specific, big blitzes. You will see no blitzes called from Seattle from the Falcons head coach Quinn.

Seattle has the best kicking combo on the game. Pats have the 4th best.

Sherman's injury is a non-factor. Earl Thomas's injury was more sever and generally heals in 2-3 weeks. Could be an issue, especially the way he throws his body around.

Josh McDaniels was offensive coordinator during the Spygate things and is now the offensive coordinator during Deflategate things. Just sayin.

Take the over in FG's.

Seattle's weakest link is right tackle. I would expect to see the Pats attack that side on passing downs.

I thought Clay Matthews has an all-world game last week vs Seattle. He was fantastic. Played spy on Wilson perfectly and shed multiple blocks when they ran.

Shane Vereen is a sleepy pick for MVP......

On the Seattle side, Luke Wilson seems to score in important moments. Sleepy MVP pick.

Have fun boys and fuck ISIS and Russia.

God Bless America.





Saturday, January 17, 2015

Championship Pickles.

Both games are extremely interesting.

I thought the Colts coming into this playoff competition were the 3rd weakest team, behind the Panthers and Cards. Carolina got the draw of a lifetime and even though they played like trash they won easily. Bengals did what they do best opening the door for a Colt team that lost to every single team on their schedule this year with a winning record. Last week after Carolina met its maker the Colts pretty much rolled a Denver team that pretty much rolled over. I still don't understand how 53 professionals who "love the game" came out to a playoff game with white flags. I think they moved on because the Broncos gave up and their QB turned 45 six years early.

Brady is the greatest QB I think in my lifetime. There I said it. Ok. Leave me the fuck alone. He's zeroed in on this opportunity since the confetti rained down on Eli's second super bowl party. He is a 'scorched earth" type player. He wants a shot at another championship and he will scorch earth to get it. If Andrew Luck has any weakness at all, despite saying he does not, Belichick will exploit it. And if here doesn't he will exploit everyone else. It's not only about Bady though. Gronkowski is healthy, Revis is Revis. Edelman is clutch. Browner is glue. It's too much for Indy who don't have enough playmakers. I got the Pats to cover 7 points (31-23)

If you have Rodgers you have a chance I keep telling myself that. But I can't get over the Seattle's defense. It's so good. It's great. It's better, in my opinion, then the 2000 Ravens team. Same amount of all-pro's. Almost at the same positions. What do you think it's like preparing your offense vs. this defense every week in practice. It's like somehow I forget the Seahawks play offense. It's sort of like, does it matter? Seattle's D is that feared cleanup hitter that always goes yard. It's the ace in the hole. It's 4 back to back Draw Four cards in Uno. It's the can opener in a bomb shelter. It's a force. Packers will hang around until the third quarter. Seahawks will be defending their title, I got them to cover the 7.5. (27-17)

Thursday, January 15, 2015

january temblings

Advice

So on one hand you have never go to bed angry then on the other hand you have sleep on it. Both phrases are said all the time but they never really fly in each other's face. It's like sleep on it isn't for marital issues and never go to bed angry is only for marital issues. Well I am a proponent of the sleep on it idea for almost everything. For instance work is annoying the fuck out of me lately but sleeping on it usually solves the problem. The next day whatever I was pissed about has gone away and there is new shit to do. Plus the time just reminds me that the grass isn't greener on the other side. Jobs suck. So I guess what I am saying is go ahead and go to bed angry, fuck that saying. Sleep on it.

Ohio State

Good fucking Lord. Fans around here are so fucked up. All they will talk about it what are the three QBs going to do next year. They won't even relish the title and enjoy the moment. We are already on to what is Urb going to do with 3 Heisman trophy candidate QBs. If you tell them that any one of them isn't going to be here next year they go apeshit. If you say that you heard Miller is thinking of transferring to Oregon they either tell you that there is no way he'd do that or that he'd never do that because he has to sit out a year (they don't know the Russell Wilson rules). If you tell them Jones is going pro they tell you he can't because he is a sophomore (they don't know the eligibility rules for the draft). In any case it is kind of fun to watch them go apeshit but they have no ability to sanely discuss the 3 QB "problem." The most likely scenario seems to be that Braxton transfers and Barrett and Jones battle it out. It wouldn't shock me to see 2 of the 3 guys transfer. I would be shocked to see any of them go pro. I would be SAS for Barrett and Jones, but only shocked for Braxton. And yeah nobody calls Braxton Miller around here by his last name. Apparently the whole town is on a first name basis with him. Jones gets Cardale and Jones but Braxton only gets called Braxton.


LeBron

Being a player coach is hard.



License Plate

Saw IH8PPL, that was a good one.


Football Picks from Tem

Seattle and New England win. The other teams lose. El Pad can add further analysis.


Oscars

I haven't even heard of half of these movies. I have no idea what Birdman is about. If it is about Koko B Ware then I am in, otherwise not so much. The Grand Budapest Hotel sounds dumb, but again I have no idea whatsoever about the plot. I guess it is about a hotel in Budapest. I don't have time for this movie shit. And I am not going to see American Sniper. That is a drama disguised as an action flick, fuck that shit. Don't try to trick me into watching a movie by showing explosions and guns and stuff.


UFC et al

Jon Jones is legend. Gets popped for coke on a test that never should have been run and then goes into rehab for one day as a damage control publicity thing. That is fucking hilarious. It'd be bigger news if it wasn't for Kurt Busch saying his ex-girlfriend is a trained assassin. America can only handle one crazy ass story from a sport at a time and luckily for these guys UFC and NASCAR get lumped in with a bunch of other sports in the Fringe Sport category. Other Fringe Sports include bowling, tennis, golf, soccer and hockey. These are sports that the average American keeps track of on a macro level (look it up if you don't know what it means) but doesn't delve into a micro level on it. Football, baseball and basketball all get the micro treatment.


Also in UFC news Carla Esparza will meet Joanna Jedrzejczyk in the first ever women's strawweight title defense. Good Lord that is a hell of a last name. Jedrzejczyk? You fucking kidding me? That sumbitch ends with 5 consonants in a row and has a 3 consonant streak in it too.


NFL Draft

I just don't want Winston to the Bucs. Anyone But Winston. He seems like a super talented dipshit. When is the last time a QB with absolutely no common sense made it big in the NFL for more than 1 or 2 years? Maybe in the 70s or something. Cam Newton seems like maybe he isn't so smart but I don't think he qualifies as a "elite" and while he had some trouble in college it wasn't stealing crab legs when you could have asked for them and gotten them for free trouble.

Also I don't really want them to draft Mariota. He seems like a more slender, quicker Tim Tebow.


OK that is enough junk.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino