Monday, April 21, 2014

Friday, April 18, 2014

RIP Jesus

Remember that blog I used to do for like a week about what I ate, I should start one for what I drink.  Just so I can see the damage on paper. 

If Carmelo is serious about taking less money.....I don't know what to say.  Would be awesome.  He gets dogged but I watched a lot this year unfortunately.  He played his ass off every minute on both ends.  If there was a WAR stat for basketball he would be close to leading the league, he must have been worth at least 15 wins this year.  I'm a fan.  Knicks roster was beat they had an opportunity over the summer to fortify the team and instead they played it safe thinking they would get another very good year from the same cast that won 54 games last year.  Sort of like what the Panthers did this off-season.  I will put cash money right now on under 9 wins for them this season.

Today is Good Friday.  Jesus died today. 

Mad Men is stupid I'm bailing.  I do enjoy the period though.  Neighbors slapping kids around that are not theirs, everyone smoking, drinks, side pieces.  But its actually a boring show.  I sort of can't believe it is so popular.

I love going out to eat.
This Spring sucks up here up nurf* it's still chilly
Ocean City again this year, solid family vacation never breaks the bank
Fucking Frozen
Amaretto is relaxing and delicious.

Easter menu:

as usual large antipasto with all the dry meats, cured meats, aged cheeses, olives, salad and pizza rustica

main course is whole roasted filet mignon, grilled jumbo shrimp, green beans dressed with ponzu vinagerette, grilled baby lamb chops and rice balls


Happy Easter guys.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

2014 NBA Playoff Preview

First Round:
Spurs vs. Mavs
Didn't the Mavs win a championship a couple of years ago? Now they barely make it into the 8th spot. Crazy. That's how it goes in the West. I don't understand how the Spurs keep on doing it, but every year they're in it to win it. I don't see them having much of a problem with the Mavs, it might go 5, but more likely will end in a clean sweep.

Rockets vs. Blazers
Ok, this one is interesting. Blazers started out hot but faded, and the Rockets have been resting Dwight Howard for a playoff run. I was at the game when they destroyed the Lakers the other week and I was really impressed. Harden just kills you with that step-back, and I was impressed with Chandler Parsons, he made a lot of drives to the basket when I thought he was just going to shoot it (maybe it was just the Lakers defense). They're also pretty loaded, Lin, Beverley (if he can play), and if Howard can't go, they've got Osik, who was a beast when he was starting. Too bad they can't figure out how to play together. The guy that really impressed me was Terrence Jones. He was flying all over the place and was making a lot of smart plays. He matches up against Aldridge and that's going to be the matchup to watch. I want to see what Lillard does, but in the end, I think Harden will take over and just kill them with that step-back jumper. Rockets in 6.

Clippers vs. Warriors
These teams DO NOT like each other. Expect a lot of shenanigans. Clippers love to give away points with dumb fouls and technicals (Blake Griffin tied with Demarcus Cousins for the league lead and had to sit out a game). The Warriors are very dangerous; that backcourt can get hot and destroy you, but I think it's going to come down to their front court. What are Andrew Bogut and David Lee going to give them? Both have injuries so that will be the big question. I'm looking forward to this series, and I'm rooting for the Clippers. I think they'll win in 6.

Thunder vs. Grizzlies
I love the Grizzlies, they are just fun to root for. They work hard to grind out postseason wins. The good thing for the Thunder is, this year, they will hopefully have Westbrook the entire time, and don't have to worry about when to sit him back-to-back games. So the odds are stacked against the Grizz, but the Thunder aren't perfect and have stumbled in the last couple of postseasons. I would love an upset, but unless Westbrook gets injured and can't play, it's the Thunder in a grueling 6 games (I seem to have most these going 6 games).

Pacers vs. Knicks Hawks
I don't care how badly the Pacers played to end the season, the East is so bad at the bottom, this will be a cake walk. The Hawks will do their best to win one game but will fail.

Bulls vs. Wizards
I'm actually looking forward to this one. The scrappy Bulls against the up-and-coming Wiz. I haven't watched a lot of Wizards games, so I really want to see how they do. I know the Bulls are battle-tested but there's something about the Wiz that I like. The Bulls struggle on offense and don't have a guy to close out games, so I think they lose a couple of close games in this series. The Wiz in 5.

Raptors vs. Nets
Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, sometimes I forget that the Raptors are a real NBA team. I haven't watched even one of their games this year. I know about Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan, but outside of that, I have no idea how they got a 3 seed. Seriously, the East blows. This is a division matchup and they split their season series, but the Nets finished just 4 games behind the Raptors, so this is a lot closer than the 3-6 matchup that it is. The Nets are built for the postseason it will be shock and awe when Kevin Garnett ratchets up the cussing and trash talk to playoff levels. If I was Dwane Casey, I would have my assistants just scream and curse at guys during practice to get them used to it. It won't be enough and the Nets win in 5.

Heat vs. Bobcats
The Bobcats FINALLY get into the playoffs (for the 2nd time)! YAY! But they have to play the Heat. NO! They should have just tanked for another lottery pick because they're going to be stuck in this position for awhile. If this series goes 5 games, I will be shocked.

2nd Round:
Rockets over Spurs (because I don't want a repeat of last year's Finals)

Clippers over Thunder

Pacers over Wizards

Heat over Nets

Conference Finals:
Rockets over Clippers

Heat over Pacers

Heat over Rockets

Monday, April 14, 2014

Right Meow...

I watched Super Troopers for the millionth time yesterday. The "meow" scene still makes me laugh.

NHL regular season came to a close yesterday. Playoff hockey is the best, in my opinion. The intensity is second to none.

Bubba won The Masters™. I don't know much about golf, so maybe you guys will know. Local sports guys are saying Augusta lends itself well to Bubba's game, so he could win a couple more, but he'll never win any other major. Any accuracy to this assessment? If so, why?

Implementation of MLB replay has been smooth, huh? I don't understand why every sport doesn't adopt the NHL's approach of having all replays go through the league office. It would keep them consistent abd remove the emotion or crowd influence. Bottom line, we want to get the call right.

I'm tired. Go comment, you bastards.

Friday, April 11, 2014


So Kate Upton is in a movie.  That's nice.

The worse place in the world is probably North Korea.

Jon Stewart ripped the NCAA a new asshole.

Baseball is great but god damn GET IN THE BOX already.  Fuck with the stepping out after every pitch.

Hard Cider?  The fuck.

My kids laugh at these Bears promos.  Fucking Disney.  Has my family by the balls.

I want to learn how to twirl nunchucks.

You notice the shooting of Sonny Corleone in Godfather that Denzel gets shot up the same way in Training day.  Sans toll booths in Breezy Point of course.

I'd take Jennifer Garner for a walk.

Monday, April 07, 2014

It's Monday... and you're still ugly

Condolences, Keith.

Full fledged panic mode over the Red Sox on the radio this morning. Freaking hilarity. It's been 6 games.

Client is coming out... I'll add more later.

Ok, that was fun. Took me over an hour to go 15 miles. Love Monday traffic!

My newsfeed blew up last night with people reacting to The Undertaker's steak at Wrestlemania ending. These people do know that wrestling is fake, right? We're not talking about 18-1 or a 56 game hitting streak here. It's not really significant when the outcome is controlled.

UConn vs. Kentucky... Who ya got? Kentucky was the preseason number 1, right? How did they end up as an 8 seed? I don't follow college bball much, obviously.

Nice job on the name change, Meiz.

Friday, April 04, 2014


the draft is so deep this year.  lmc
serious ton of talent out there
watkins, evans, hyde, tre mason, the qb's, ebron, clowne, tons of o lineman to name a few

so many qb's,

EL Padrino, in the villa in Venice sipping vino

I love rap from my days, like it now but nothing like that era I think it's the best in hip hop history, from 95 to 04 maybe? 

San Antonio is so good.  So fucking good.  Popovich man.

fuck marry kill - Tylenol, advil, aleve -- go

TV has never been better now if you say today there is nothing on you crazy.  At the very least you can turn to the history channel and watch that programming

chanel west coast? si or no?

whats the deal with nick cannon now
fuck that guy

F M K with proactiv spokespeople

Julianne Hough, Katy Perry, KAley Cucocoocococo
Fuck Katy, marry Julianne, Kill Kaley

Whitlock nailed the Desean Jackson issue, fucking Richard Sherman is a cunt

Letterman retiring.  He was the best.  Love his give zero fucks attitude.

CNN is tripping over its own dick with the missing plane coverage, they are literally the worst news outlet going.

Brussell Sprouts are in

Las Vegas middle schools are dealing with a problem known as “slap-ass Friday.”

I miss you guys

I'm sort of drunk had some wine not having a godfather (equal parts amaretto & whiskey)

TURN DOWN FOR WHAT (the video is hilarious)


Monday, March 31, 2014

Despite Popular Opinion...

...I actually hate drama.

Opening Day for MLB. Remember when we used to get preview posts? That was fun. F'ing slackers. So who ya got?

Bruins keep winning. I'm cool with it. I know, I know. No one cares about hockey. Well I do, so there.

Where does DeSean Jackson land? Media says he has gang ties. He of course says he doesn't. Heard New England is among the 9 teams who have inquired. I'd love to see him here, but I think after the Hernandez situation, they stay away from him. Thoughts?

Friday, March 28, 2014

Chinese people are afraid of black people

Looks like Manziel had a nice pro day.  I haven't watched a stitch of sports outside of a few glimpses of the tourney games.  That makes me sad.  Responsibilities are the worst.  Anyway Manziel reminds me of a douche Jeff Garcia.  Maybe better.  Probably better.

The VCU guy says no a lot.

That is ALOT of rice and beans for Miggy.

Sixers are doing well.

This plane thing is beyond getting ridiculous now.

I'm on antibiotics for a tooth infection so I've been off the juice for 3 days now.  Everything is great. 


What's the big deal about Ricky Gervais?

Kevin Costner as the GM of the Browns......HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAA

Nate Silver is a thing now.  Officially.  Can he tell us where the fuck this plane is?

Noah?  No ah thanks. 
HA.  I crack myself up.

A peanut is not a nut.  It's a bean.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Is the Tournament Over Yet?

I haven't paid attention to a single minute of it. The Bruins have won 12 straight games. It has sparked the "peaking to soon" debate on local sports radio. Do you think that actually exists? Can a team really peak too soon? Discuss. Happy Monday. I'm tired.

Friday, March 21, 2014


What the fuck are the Carolina Panthers doing?  Why aren't they building on this!!!!!

Jets, woeful.  Sabotaging Rex Ryan.  I've said this before.  I don't mind Rex, think he's a good coach, great defensive coach.  Good head coach.  He knows dick about offense though and hasn't hired the right guy to lead that side of the ball.  And obviously gives zero fucks or knows nothing about what an NFL QB looks like.

Giants like whoa on the free agency tip.  I is happy.  Secondary seems formidable.  O line still has some holes which was the main issue last year so maybe misappropriated funds.

No clue what to think of this Phil Jackson scenario. 

If you are a Wu-Tang fan the Grantland article is ill. 

The Saint Louis guard with the dreads......dreads look uncomfortable.  Like for basketball.  All sports really but for basketball with them flying all over the place.....


Onions are very important in cuisine.  One of those staple ingredients.


What is your favorite bug?  I like spiders.  Dominant.

Sisters house in SC - her taxes are $890 a year.  SIIICKK.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Erin Go Bragh-less

Happy "Let's Pretend We're Irish and Get Drunk" Day. It's the one day off the year that EP will acknowledge that's he's more Irish than Eye-talian.

I actually hate "drinking" holidays like St. Patrick's, Cinco de Mayo, etc. Most people can have fun and act normal, but there's always a small segment that has to get white girl wasted and act like fools. I get the whole wanting to get drunk thing, but not to that excess. Those morons usually end up spoiling the fun for everyone.

Denver and New England continued their arms race over the weekend. The edge still goes to Denver, but both teams have to be the preseason favorites to get back to the AFC championship game.

The Cheifs are pissed at Emmanuel Sanders. I'm guessing he DGAF. He ended up with the better team.

That's all I have right now. I might add more later, but I doubt it. Spiff is fired.

Oh, for your viewing pleasure, a song from my acoustic duo.

Friday, March 14, 2014


I've become enamored with old school cocktails.  Like I'll come home and make myself an Old Fashioned before dinner.  Then maybe after dinner I'll have a digestif.  Like a Fernet Branca or Grand Marnier.  Like where has a solid Manhattan been all my life.  Or a Gimlet.  I've been burying my liver with beer and jack and cokes, rum and cokes all this time while hand crafted time proven good spirits fine recipes have been there all along.  I'm a sophisticant now.

Enjoy the finer things in life boys could be over tomorrow.

Remember when I said I'm not scared of anything.  Or afraid of dying.  Whatever I said.  Well I'm shit scared of my house blowing up from ancient gas pipes.  Just about every neighborhood in NYC has been around for 100 years.  My house was built in 1941.  Gas pipes being old and shit, sewage, the subway is old, electrics are old.  NYC is old.  A disadvantage to some, a historic treasure to others.

Klondike bars are extremely underrated.  Solid thin crunch of chocolate over good vanilla ice cream.  I mean you couldn't fuck that up if you tried.  Just a solid frozen treat to enjoy in the house.  Cheap too.  And neatly wrapped in some cheap aluminum based paper product of some sort.

Easter candy is amazing.  Reminds me of the paradox of things we should eat all year round not just holidays or special occasions.  Like corned beef.  I know keef corned beef is gross.  God you are the worst.  Anyway corned beef is delicious and I will eat it more than just on st. pattys day.  Easter candy is incredible.  I will eat jelly beans all year round and buy those marshmallow egg carton things and freeze them.  Also don't forget the GOAT of easter candy.  NERDS JELLY BEANS.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014


Insensitive Opening

So, call me insensitive, call me a dick, whatever, but I do not get why this Columbus/Dallas hockey game was postponed because some dude had a heart attack or something on the bench. He didn't die, he was conscious, so it isn't like someone died. He had known heart issues so it wasn't like he found some anthrax and the whole stadium was at risk. I think in football I have seen about 100 dudes get carted off the field and the game continues, in baseball I have seen guys get beaned in the head and drop like a rock and get taken off the field and the game continues, in basketball I have seen Paul Pierce severely hurt himself and the game continues and then later Pierce comes back as if nothing happens, also I have seen a dude get his leg broke in half with the bone sticking out and the game continues (should I link it meiz?) in soccer people get injured all the time to the point of apparent near death and then they play on, why does hockey stop the game? Hockey used to be the tough guy game, but I guess it is not. I truly feel sorry for the family involved and wish the dude all the best, but stopping the game seemed like a HUGE overreaction.


I think the plot of Dharma and Greg is from a Mad Lib game.
I think the window is almost closed for any Jen Aniston nude scenes in a movie.
I miss nude Charlize Theron.
CiCi's pizza closed around here. We have no good pizza buffets. Not that Cici's is really good, but it was the best we had. Although they didn't take reservations.


Nobody is going to trade for Revis if they all know you are going to release him in a week or less. Stupid Bucs. Good trade to get him though.

Now begins the El Padrinoesque section of the show

Things I think I would have been awesome at if I started trying at a young age and kept with it for awhile:

Book writing
Water skiing
Dirt bike riding

Monday, March 10, 2014


want to see where all the NFL free agents end up already

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino