Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Prediction Update

We all know that Tem predictions are generally very unreliable. Even things that are 50-50 I'll score way below 50% on even over numerous tries. So let's see how I am doing so far:

El Pad becomes a Patriots fan out of respect for Tom Brady
H gets a Tom Brady tat
Rev dies
Tyler moves out of CA
Meiz gets laid 3 times
Kod marries and divorces again without anyone here knowing
Beth watches This is Us and cries
Keith fights one of his kids' teachers
Blue moves out of CA
TP takes up fly fishing
Jug catches a raccoon and pisses on it

Seems like I nailed it with Meiz and Beth. Kod I think I got pretty damn close to reality. So far no good on all the other ones. So I'm giving myself 3/11 on this section which I think is solid. These aren't 50-50 items.

Warriors win NBA title
Cardinals win World Series
soccer team wins soccer title
WVU makes suite 16
UCONN wins girl's bball title
North Carolina wins men's bball title
Michigan vs tOSU decides the big 10 title
an NFL team finishes the regular season undefeated
no current UFC men's champ will be the champ at the end of the year except Johnson.
all current women's champs will be the champ at the end of the year except dutch lady.
Mr. T will not win Dancing with the Stars

I've done much better on this one. Warriors won the title, WVU made the sweet 16, North Carolina won the men's title and Mr. T did not win Dancing with the stars. The North Carolina call and WVU were good calls. Warriors was not a tough call. Missed the UConn women though which seemed like a gimmie at the time.

Cardinals winning the WS doesn't look good at the moment.

The UFC picks seem on target so far although Cormier got his title back via a dumb Jon Jones so that might end up costing me.

Rest of them are still up in the air. Except soccer team winning soccer title. Totally nailed that one.

On ones that have been determined I am 5/6 which is outstanding for me.

This could be a new era of good Tem predictions.

I hope the last commenter from the prior post likes this post as much as they did the last post.

Wednesday, March 01, 2017

2017 predictions

We needed a new post. Because we did.

I have no idea what to write about. I wonder if that has something to do with why nobody posts anything any more.

About time for the TCS to ramp up. I think I am the favorite to win this year.

I need to find the damn Brutus and Timmy template so I can post some B&T.

Anyway on to the predictions for 2017:

El Pad becomes a Patriots fan out of respect for Tom Brady
H gets a Tom Brady tat
Rev dies
Tyler moves out of CA
Meiz gets laid 3 times
Kod marries and divorces again without anyone here knowing
Beth watches This is Us and cries
Keith fights one of his kids' teachers
Blue moves out of CA
TP takes up fly fishing
Jug catches a raccoon and pisses on it

Warriors win NBA title
Cardinals win World Series
soccer team wins soccer title
WVU makes suite 16
UCONN wins girl's bball title
North Carolina wins men's bball title
Michigan vs tOSU decides the big 10 title
an NFL team finishes the regular season undefeated
no current UFC men's champ will be the champ at the end of the year except Johnson.
all current women's champs will be the champ at the end of the year except dutch lady.
Mr. T will not win Dancing with the Stars

Until next time when I post about cartoons. Either a cartoon or about them. I miss Calvin and Hobbes.

Tuesday, June 07, 2016

Ok magic, i took the bait

Magic Johnson is on record as saying his showtime lakers would beat this version of the Golden State Warriors. That's a nice sentiment. His argument is "who would guard Kareem, who would guard James Worthy". So I decided to give it a try and break it down.

For those of you that don't know, i'm talking about the NBA, and that's basketball, a sport with an orange ball and 10 dudes running round in sneakers, long shorts and tank tops.

So here is the matchups that I see

Magic Johnson - Andre Igoudala
Byron Scott - Steph Curry
James Worthy - Klay Thompson
Kareem - Andrew Bogut
AC Green - Draymond Green

Billy Thompson - Harrison Barnes
Michael Cooper - Shaun Livingston/Leandro Barbosa
Kurt Rambis - Festus Ezeli
Mychal Thompson - Mareese Speights/Anderson Varejao

So here's the deal. The showtime lakers were really only 7 deep, with Rambis and AC Green being the two bench guys. And really they played a six man rotation for the most part. If you look at the minutes played for the 86-87 Lakers, huge dropoff after those 6 main guys, and the 87-88 lakers had Mychal Thompson play more instead of an injured Kurt Rambis. I had a hard time coming up with 8 guys from the Lakers let alone 9 guys.

Kareem was 40 years old at this point. To think that Andrew Bogut couldn't guard the ghost of Kareem is a little disrespectful to Bogut. Bogut's not awesome, but he can clog up the paint and play defense. Magic in his prime was a beast to guard. But was he better than Lebron James? Seriously, was he? Because Magic was a lot slower, and dude shot 19% from 3pt range, Andre Igoudala is very underrated defensively. Would we assume that Magic would have had a better time against Igoudala than Lebron has? I wouldn't. James Worthy vs Klay Thompson would have been a battle. Kerr might have moved Klay to guard AC green and let Draymond bang with James Worthy, because Worthy was more of a back to the basket guy, and AC was the offensive rebound, and virgin type. I mean seriously, a virgin in the NBA, that's just hogwash. Byron Scott might have posed a problem for Steph, so maybe you Klay out on Byron Scott, who knows. Bottom line, is that the showtime lakers weren't invincible. Flip the script now, how in the hell is a 6 man rotation (or maybe 7) of big slow dudes, gonna keep up with the Warriors. Magic and Byron would be so tired from chasing dudes around, it would be ridiculous. Pace of play seemed like it would be on the Lakers side, right, they scored more points (117/gm) and seemed to be running and gunning all the time. Nope that's not the case at all. Pace of play is almost identical, 101.6 for the lakers compared to 99.3 for the Warriors. Lakers shot about 51% from the field (2pts) vs 49% from the field for the Warriors. The Warriors were basically even in attempts with the lakers 7,245-7,159 (2pt attempts). We won't even talk about 3pt shooting, because the comparisons are ridiculous, Lakers shot 37% from 3 on 447 attempts, lets just say the warriors are better (41% on almost 2,600 attempts).
So that's a lot of data, or whatever. But the truth is, the two teams play a similar style. To say that the Lakers would have pounded and ground down the Warriors is just false. That's not how they played. Magic might have had a heart attack by half-time, or his fake AIDS would have flared up and he would have tapped out. Of all the comparisons to teams of yesteryear, this one makes the least sense to me, and I think the Warriors would have ran the Lakers out of the building.

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

You guys suck!

Seriously, no new post in almost two months???  Leave it to a woman to have to do a man’s job for him/them…

Yeah, I got inspired to do a surprise post for LOV when I stopped by and saw how old the last post was and realized that you foolishly left me with posting access.  Of course since I’m doing the post that means I get to decide what it’s about, so today we are going to talk about periods, makeup, high heels and the Kardashians!

OK, maybe not.  Instead we are going to talk about GOLF.  (That’s why I stopped by LOV to start with, to see if you were talking about The Masters yet.)  In case y’all already forgot I grew up in Augusta and worked at “The Tournament” while in high school, and Masters’ week is still one of my favorite weeks of the year.

Instead of going with my initial idea of listing who I think are the hottest golfers, I decided to give you my rankings for my favorites for this week.  I could go all EP like and spend several paragraphs explaining each choice, but I’m instead doing the lazy (wo)man’s version and just listing my rankings of my favorites with a brief comment or two.  Most of this will obviously be based on how well they’ve been playing lately, but of course is also based partly on woman’s intuition. 

1) Jason Day – He’s won his last 2 starts and 6 of his past 13, including the 2015 PGA, and is # 1 in the world.  A clear favorite and obvious choice as the # 1 favorite this week.

2) Henrik Stenson – This is probably more intuition than based on facts, as even though he is playing very well of late (including placing 3rd and 2nd in his last two tournaments), he has never finished better than 14th in 10 trips to Augusta.  But foreigners always seem to dominate The Masters and I anticipate that he will continue that trend this year.

3) Rory McIlroy – Insanely talented and only needs The Masters for a career grand slam.  My only worry though is that he might want this one a little TOO much (see 2011 Masters final round…)

4) Adam Scott – Everyone thought he’d struggle when he had to switch away from the long putter but it seems like if anything his putting has gotten better.  He’s also been playing amazing so far this year with 2 wins and obviously knows what it takes to win this tournament.  (Spoiler alert, he’d also be right at the top of my hottest golfers list...)

5) Dustin Johnson – I consider this my riskiest pick.  He’s clearly got the talent, and seems to have put the (alleged) cocaine use behind him, but I worry that even if he starts out well he’ll choke yet again at some point.  He certainly has a history of that at the majors.  But I keep thinking that at some point he has to put it all together, and this could definitely be that week.  (Plus, any guy that goes home to Paulina Gretzky gets my respect.)

Conspicuously missing from my list is defending champion Jordan Spieth, but other than his first tournament of 2016 something just seems a little “off” with his game to me.   But then again he always seems to be able to really focus and put it together when the stage is big so he could easily still be in the hunt come Sunday.  A few other random names that I expect to do well this week are Rickie Fowler, Justin Rose and Phil Mickleson. 

Finally, there’s the man I can never predict – Bubba Watson.  I’m still doing Yahoo Fantasy Golf and whenever I pick Bubba to do well he tanks, and whenever I avoid him he does well.  I see him as having an equal chance this week to win his third Masters as he does to miss the cut.

BONUS SLEEPER PICKS:  Danny Willett and Rafal Cabrera-Bello.

And since it appears likely that this post may remain as the most recent one for many months, I’ll go ahead and wish everyone a good Fourth of July!

Tuesday, February 09, 2016

Well that was awesome

It took me a while to come down from the euphoria of Sunday night.  As EP and H know, there's a whirlwind of emotion and activity. I will say this is the first time that a team that I root for has ever won a championship of any kind.  I could probably write for days on this, but I won't waste everyone else's time.  A few things I learnt this weekend though:

  • driving 64 in a 45 at 1:45 am is frowned upon by the Colorado State patrol
  • apparently robert deniro is only a comedy actor now.  pretty sad really, but he's good at it, and can play a great straight guy old man.
  • Straight outta compton is a great movie, but probably only if you were an NWA/gangsta rap fan.  reminded me how much I loved their music, and hard to believe that a couple of those guys became ginormously wealthy, not to mention Dre being a frickin billionaire now. Also gives some context to Dre's song "let me ride" off of his Chronic LP.
  • Coldplay is the worst ever.  I now understand why beyonce and bruno were added because without them, it's the worst halftime ever.  Not sure that Chris Martin even knew there was a football game going on.  Only thing worse would have been a combo of nickelback and creed.
  • I liked the fact they brought out all the Super Bowl™ MVPs.  Although at about #10, cmblue looked at me and said "there are 40 more of these".  It was awesome to hear the crowd erupt when TD and Elway were introduced.  I looked at my buddy and said "pretty good broncos crowd there, huh?"  It became even more evident when Tom Brady was booed, and the guy from the Seahawks was booed. 
  • I never got my hands on a ticket, but my dad went and reported on the awesomeness.
Now for my game observations:
  • Going in, I had a little bit of faith, only because all the talk was about how great the Panthers offense was, and Cam and etc.  And knowing the guys on the Broncos D, that wasn't going to sit well.  But I still didn't think the offense had enough firepower because of that really strong Panthers D.  If I  was a betting man, i'd have probably picked the Panthers, the number seemed a little high though.
  • When Von Miller crushed Cam and forced the fumble the scoop and score, I started to believe the Broncos had a shot.  
  • I've been a Von fan since his first days here, even when he was being a douche.  I was always so disappointed when he would just disappear in big games. Well that's gone
  • Von Miller is going to be the highest paid defensive player in football.
  • Peyton doesn't have it anymore. If he tries to come back next year, that's just stupid.
  • Panther's D was as good as advertised.  
  • I'm pretty biased, but the performance by the broncos pass rushers in this Super Bowl™ has to go up there as one of the best of all time. It wasn't just Von, demarcus ware was getting home, Cam was uncomfortable the whole game, and if you add the performance against brady in the AFC championship, i'll say without a doubt, that's the best 2 game performance by a pass rush defense in history.  (I  love hyperbole)
  • Cam not diving for his fumble is perplexing to me.  Perhaps he thought it should have been an incomplete pass, but at this time on this stage, how can you take that chance.  It looks more like, he was worried guys were going to roll up on his knees so he bounced back.  Now, i'm not going to blame him on this, a lot of people have ripped him up for it.  But i've seen plenty of QBs not throw themselves into a pile (including Peyton Manning) to try and recover a fumble.  Granted, never in the waning moments of the super bowl ™ 
  • And last, I don't have a problem with Cam getting upset in the press conference.  I know he could hear Chris Harris talking about how they destroyed the panthers offense, and it was distracting.  But that's not even the problem.  It takes me back to when I was senior in highschool.  We lost in the California state championship game to Bakersfield.  Immediately after the game we had to go into a press conference thing where we all sat up there and answered questions.  It was the dumbest thing ever, some guys handled it great, but I was pissed and didn't want to talk about it.  It was probably a bigger deal to me than this loss was to Cam though, because that was the end of my career.  So I had a better reason to be pissed. (s) Eventually, i got up and walked out too.  So I get it Cam, your actions get a pass from me, it's totally understandable, and basically just acting like a 17 year old highschool kid who just lost the state championship.
47 days until pitchers and catchers.  (don't quote me on that)

Saturday, February 06, 2016

Super picks


Over in fg 3.5
Panthers -14.5 +350 (in case there is a blowout)
MVP - Greg Olson +750
Thomas Davis +1500
CJ Anderson +1500
Aqib Talib +2500
Ted Ginn +2000

Denver's defense is great. So I've actually considered this for awhile. But Cam changes everything.  He's the flavored water mix in the commercial.  He can run.  He can pass. He can side step rushes.  He can audible. He can dab. I mean Denver has not faced something like this. Alex Smith?  Closest thing. They can't tee off on him because they actually run the ball. Him included. Think he has 10-12 rushing attempts.  Think Denver tries the spy for awhile. Don't think it works.

I see the game close until late third quarter.  Panthers pull away and send peyton into the broadcast Booth with a third super bowl loss.  Panthers -5.5 ..... 34-23.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Championship weekend

I watched that movie Sicario the other day on the plane.  Pretty good movie.  I will say this, I can't think of a movie that Benicio Del Toro wasn't good in.  He gets no love, probably one of the most underrated actors of our time. Apparently he's going to be in the next star wars too.  Who knew that the next star wars was going to have a drug angle, because that's all he's ever in is crime and drug movies.  Also he was born in Puerto Rico, so he's american, never would have guessed that.

I'll be dog manned if Aaron Rodgers isn't the best hail marrier in the history of the NFL.  I think that kids aren't allowed to play 500 anymore at school, so defenders are horrible at stopping those passes.

surprised that all the jobs filled and Josh McDaniels didn't even get an interview.  Even Patricia got an interview.  I would have thought that Tennessee would have been a good fit.  Also surprised that the giants stuck with Macadoo, but whatever.

I didn't make picks last week, but I would have gotten them all right because the favorites all won, and i'm good at picking like that.

Patriots -3 vs Broncos
This one is tough.  I'm sick of hearing all the stats like, the broncos are the only team that Tom Brady has a losing record against, (he's 6-8 all time).  Tom Brady is 2-6 in Denver.  Tom Brady's first playoff loss of his career came in Denver.  Tom Brady and Peyton Manning have never won on the road against each other in the playoffs or something, they've both won their home games.  Peyton has a 2-1 edge in the AFC championship head to head.  Pats are 3-0 when facing the NFL's top defense in the playoffs over the last 20 years...etc.  Stats are stupid. Every year the team is different, and there are like 104 other players besides the two starting QBs.  If the Pats win, they'll go to their 9th superbowl all time, and be the leader in the clubhouse, currently tied with the steelers and the cowboys.  If the broncos win, they go to their 8th all time, and create a 4 way tie.   So in other words, here are two of the class organizations in AFC history, granted the Pats have been only over the last 15 years or so, but that's really fucking good history for both teams. I could go on about this for days.  The bottom line.  Edelman is back.  Gronk is back.  Brady is still there.  The defense is pretty good.  I think you'll see a similar game plan to what they used last week to neutralize the pass rush, lots of quick short passes, and just take 5-7 yard gains all the way down the field.  Broncos defense is really good, and if they can make brady come off that quick first throw, and hold for just a half a second longer, advantage broncos.  Honestly, I think the offense of the Pats vs the defense of the Broncos ends up being a push, maybe a slight edge to the Pats because of Edelman being back.  Looking at the other side.  Broncos offense vs Pats defense, this one isn't close.  Broncos offense has sucked balls all year long.  I don't trust Peyton Manning.  That being said, I would not be surprised if he had his best game of the year this weekend.  Although I think that's highly unlikely.  The first time these two teams met, the broncos were able to run the ball all over the pats.  I think Belichik corrects that, and takes away the run, and makes Manning beat him with his arm.  Broncos receivers have had a horrible amount of drops, and I have zero confidence in this offense if they can't run the ball.  Overall, I think the weather will be fine, and that HFA isn't that big of a deal in this case.  If this game was in New England, the broncos wouldn't have any shot.  At least they have a glimmer of hope.  End of the day, i'm hoping its just a great game.  Pats win 24-20

Panthers -3 vs Cardinals
Kind of funny, all the stats and history between Manning/Brady and Broncos/Pats and all that jazz, and then you've got two teams in the NFC with very little history of success.  Panthers are really tough at home, and their defense is so opportunistic.  Cardinals offense is awesome, just flat out awesome.  I think Carson Palmer has the jitters out, and finally got the playoff monkey off his back, now he can just go out and play football. I look at the panthers offense vs the cardinals defense and it's pretty close to a push.  Both units are really good.  The Panthers can run the ball on anyone, and their passing game almost feels like an old school option team's passing offense.  Meaning that you commit so much to stopping the run, when they do pass it makes it a lot easier.  Carolina just doesn't have any talent on offense other than Cam Newton, and apparently that's all they need. At the end of the day, that's where Carolina gets that advantage.  Cardinals offense against the Panthers defense, is again, feels like a push.  maybe a slight advantage to the panthers, but their dbs are all banged up.  Fitzgerald in the slot is a really tough cover.  Does Josh Norman just follow fitz everywhere, or does he stay on his side and take that part of the field away?  we shall see, but in the end I think this will be a close game.  coming down to the last drive, and I think that Cam Newton makes a few more plays than Palmer, and that's the difference.  I'll take the panthers for the win 24-20

Saturday, January 16, 2016


NE -5 over KC
Who is making a play for KC?  Would have to be that defense because all the playmakers on offense are out.  Travis Kelce will be a non-factor.  Bill will make sure he's contained.  Because he has no one else to worry about.  The Pats are pretty healthy headed into this years tournament.  I keep trying to find a reason KC will be able to knock them off but I can't. 

AZ -7.5 over GB
Arizona is going to wash Green Bay.  That defense will be flying around.  Washington's defense sucks.  Nothing compared to this unit.  Once time of possession goes in Arizona's favor this one will start to get out of hand. 

CAR -2 over Sea
Expecting a great game.  I wonder if Seattle is able to stop the run which they usually do if the Panthers will open it up early or be patient and stick with it.  That's the key.  When will checkers become chess? 

DEN -7.5 over Steelers
Trying to figure out how the Steelers score more than 14 points.  Not seeing it.  Last time Steelers went to Mile High for a playoff game TEBOW happened.  Peyton - Brady one last time for a trip to Super Bowl.  Of course it had to happen like that.  Pro Football writers wet dream.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

NFC Picks

On yesterday's game:

Using JJ Watt as the RB in that situation yesterday was inexcusable and embarrassing.  Fireable offense if you ask me.  This whole building a shrine for JJ Watt who hasn't won a god damn thing except individual awards needs to stop.  I'm sick and tired of hearing about him.  And the Texans coddle it.  Fags.

Bullshit refs in the steelers game the pacman foul should have been offsetting since Porter was on the field running his mouth.  Burfict is a thug.  Everyone knows what that means.  He's lucky he can play football because he would probably be in jail without this beautiful game that he is butchering.  Ruined AJ McCarron's first come from behind playoff win (told you this kid has stones) and ruined Marvin Lewis's career.

Today's games.

Too cold to play this game man.  The medical staff will be busy.

I'll take the veterans over the upstarts.  Seattle.  Two reasons.  To beat Seattle you have to throw the ball down the field.  Impossible in this weather.  Reason two is the experience on this Seattle team.  They will be a handful for Carolina next week and that game I'm predicting to be an instant classic.

Two teams offensively going in the wrong direction but I'm sticking with the best QB.  I think he'll figure out a way to make some plays and I think the Wash secondary is ripe for those plays.  Looking for the disappointing Davante Adams to appear.  Also looking for Dom Capers to confuse the shit out of Kirk Cousins. 

So Seattle, Pack.

Already leaning towards the Pats and Broncos because they are healthy.  Considering Ben/Brown hurt and No Maclin for the Chiefs.

For tomorrow, as a bonus, take Clemson +7.  Alabama won't be able to contain Watson who is an electric college football player.  Only thing that beats Saban is mobile qb's who can throw. 


Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Wild card week picks

I know that EP is a sore loser.  You know how I know, because he tries to make it about money when he loses.  Like "hey if we were playing for money, i'd spend more time on the picks and beat you".  Sore looser*.

Has any other president ever cried in front of the camera?

Apparently Jonah Hill works for the Browns now.  If that character was really based off of depedesto, then why is the dude so fat in the movie.

This johnny football thing is kind of funny.  If it's true that he was in disguise and partying, that is hilarity.  Or maybe it's a weakness/sickness.  I don't know, but it just sounds so crazy yet so believable.

I'm already over the Peyton Manning story.  Dude handed the ball off and didn't play particularly awesome in the 2nd half, and he's back?  I guess Kubiak can roll the dice and play manning, and take the easy way out.  but not sure if you can go back to Brock now in this situation.  If Manning is stinking it up in the first half (which Osweiler was not) do you pull him and put in Brock for a "spark".  What a clusterfuck of disaster.  Maybe peyton's foot will hurt again, i don't know, i'm not a doctor.

So many story lines with head coaches getting fired, not getting fired, resigning, wanting to be traded, just goes to show how NFL is top dog.

How about Stan Kroenke, basically saying that St. Louis is garbage of a town.  Probably true.  But I mean, if Detroit can still have 4 sports, how can St. Louis be any worse.  Bottom line, dude is ridiculously smart, and played his cards right.  He can just write a check and build a stadium in LA, and may just do it despite what anyone else says.  Big talk about the Chargers moving too, who cares.  I've lived here for 8 months, and while everyone has chargers shit on their cars and whatever, 90% of the people you talk to, have no idea if they won or lost last weekend.  Screw the chargers, and go fuck yourself San Diego.

Last week I knocked it out 14-2.  that's pretty close to good.  EP was a respectable 10-6.  I'd take that, nothing wrong with going 10-6 in week 17.  That brings my regular season totals up to 132-101-6 (.566) and EP up to 112-104-6 (.519).  So better than a coin flip for both of us.  Should we start over records for the post season?  Probably.

Wow 4 home dogs in the first round of the playoffs, this should be interesting

Texans +3.5 vs Chiefs
Now, I know the chiefs are the hottest team since sliced bread.  I know that they beat Houston in week 1.  I know that they've got a great defense.  I know that Andy Reid went to 4 straight NFC championship games.  I know Alex Smith is the smartest QB in all of Missouri.  I know that Brian Hoyer is a career journeyman.  I know that the Texans don't have a real running back or attack.  All that being said.  I know that JJ Watt is better than anything the chiefs have on offense.  I know that Deandre Hopkins can catch a football in a straight jacket.  I know that Brian Cushing is underrated and healthy.  I know that the Texans defense has played lights out the last few weeks.  I know that the chiefs have been pretty lucky the last couple of weeks against Oakland and Cleveland (both not playoff teams) and eked out wins against them.  I'm going texans, I just like their moxie.  Texans win outright 24-14, and setup a rematch with the Pats, that Bill O'Brien has to be not to excited about.

Steelers -2.5 vs Bengals
Not sure if Dalton is going to play this week or not.  Not sure it makes much of a difference.  Two teams that hate each other.  Home field doesn't matter in this game.  I think AJ McCarron has made himself some money, Bengals would be smart to see what they can get for him in the trade market this offseason, maybe a 2nd rounder, or a 3rd?  Hell, the Browns should be willing to give up a 1st rounder for him.  Antonio Brown is just too good.  Only way the Steelers don't win this game is if Ben gets hurt, or is constantly sacked.  Bengals would be wise to open it up and throw the ball all over the field.  That's where the Steelers are bad, and where the Bengals have a ton of weapons.  If Dalton plays, he already has small hands which cause him issues gripping the ball in the cold weather, so imagine that, and add in the weak thumb.  Just not sure.  But it should be a good game.  And all that being said, i'm rooting hard for the Bengals, but the Steelers win 38-10 and dreadfully head to Denver.

Vikings +5 vs Seahawks
It's going to be -20 windchill at kickoff.  seriously.  who thought playing football outside in Minnesota was a good idea.  Beast Mode is back, but it takes a little bit to get used to the grind.  It's going to be cold, and nobody wants to hit, or get hit when it's that cold.  Unless you're ADP.  I think dude runs roughshod on the seahawks defense.  I also am a believer in teams that got blown out recently play much better in a rematch.  Did I mention it's going to be cold?  Too many people are pimping up the seahawks right now.  Vikes can play the "no respect" card, and should.  They're happy to be back in the playoffs.  maybe i'm rethinking this.  Maybe the seahawks win, but don't cover. maybe the vikings win outright.  I'm not sure yet.  But i'll take the 5 points.  Seahawks win 13-10 in a cold dreary bitter game, and head up the road to sunny Carolina for another rematch.

Redskins +1 vs Packers
Pack is awful.  Redskins will play the no respect card.  I like the "you like that!!!???" towels that the skins are going to throw out there.  Landover Maryland should be rocking.  Skins defense has been really good lately.  Packers haven't done anything right since about week 6.  The book on them is out, play tight press coverage, and they won't be able to throw the ball.  Eddie Lacy looks like an offensive guard running with the football, and plods along.  On the other side, Kirk Cousins has been good, the offensive weapons the skins have are dynamic.  They seem pretty healthy. I don't think this one is really all that close.  Skins haven't gotten any love from the vegas oddsmakers the last few weeks.  I think they beat the packers handily 27-13, and then get ready to be slaughtered by the Cardinals.

Sunday, January 03, 2016


I guess Blue is better on picking games than me. Congrats Blue. Have to trust the accountants right?

Plenty of scenarios and story lines heading into this week 17. Let's play I wonder.

I wonder if Peyton was healthy who would start
I wonder if the Chiefs winning streak will go for naught in the divisional round
I wonder if Jim Caldwell, Tom Coughlin and Sean Payton will make it past Monday morning
I wonder if Drew Brees is a Saint next year
I wonder if Johnny Football was catching head in Vegas with a concussion
I wonder why the Jags are 6-10 or worse every fucking year
I wonder if Rex Ryan would give up an eyeball to win today's game vs. the Jets
I wonder what is making Keyshawn Johnson so fat
I wonder why my sons breath always smells like the depths of a cows butthole
I wonder if Blue would consider doing this again next year with $$$$ projections
I wonder if Meiz likes men
I wonder if Adam Schefter sucks dick for breaking news
I wonder if the Texans and Redskins feel bad they are in the playoffs
I wonder if the NFC North winner will last past round 1 after beating the piss out of each other tonight.
I wonder if I'll ever get to these picks.

Jets -3 over BILLS
I thought about taking the Bills here but the Jets have too much to lose. They are the better team. I think they have shaken that whole Jets thing so I'll ride with them. Only thing I'm concerned about is that weather. Jets actually throw the ball well, that's gone now with the 25mph winds and snow.

N.E -9.5 over FINS
Pats usually play out and I'm not afraid of the back door cover. Miami stinks, everyone will be fired Monday.

New O +6 over FALCONS
Both teams done, could be last game for Payton/Brees. Some people don't believe that but it's true. I suck dick for scoops.

Bal +9.5 over BENGALS
Cincy should roll and really need that first round bye. But the way the Ravens played last week instead of tanking for Bosa was impressive. I expect them to come out again fired up to be a pain in the ass for their division foes.

Pitt -11 over BROWNS
Browns have already checked out. Boxes in the locker room, post season surgeries scheduled, this is going to be a beating.

HOU-6 over Jax
Seems like every year people expect a bit more out of Jax but they never quite get there. The Texans have had a weird year. The QB situation early on, the Hard Knocks stuff, Clowney, Watt talk, etc. Credit to Crennel who can still coach and Vrabel will be a HC sooner rather than later. The defense has kept that team afloat while O'Brien tried to figure out how to get production out of the offense.

Ten +4 over COLTS
I think Jeff George is playing QB today for the shoes. I'm out on them. They are finished, the staff is finished, the team needs it to rain meatballs for them to make the playoffs. This is dumb. Is mariotta playing? I don't even care. Give me Mettenburg all day.

Skins +4.5 over COWBOYS
Why do I have to pick this game? This is stupid. Skins will sit starters but the Cowboys can lock up a top 3 pick with a loss. Why would they win? It's dumb to win.

NYG -5 over Phi
Odell is back. He's a beast.

Det -1 over BEARS
This game will be played in cold weather. That's all I got.

CAR -10 over Tb
Lock up home field. Go 15-1. I think despite some starters maybe not seeing the field the Panthers will blow out to get back on track and lock up a home game for a super bowl shot.

Oak +7 over KC
Chiefs are sitting some key people. Woodsons last game, get that man a win. Oakland will be a playoff team next year.

DEN-10 over Sd
Broncos still have some scenarios to play for. Chargers are done, they can't score haven't had any consistency since Kennan Allen went out. Broncos D will light it up today.

Sea +6.5 over AZ

Seahawks trying to get back on track here I think will fight towards the end. Arizona will be playing to win, should be one of the only good games today. AZ shooting for home field throughout (if Car loses).

Stl -3 over SF

Min +3 over GB
You spell redemption ADRIAN PETERSON. With Matthews out and the Packers o struggling all year I like the hungry Vikes. Gonna be a cold one.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Week 17 picks

The last post of 2015.  We fell apart in 2015, and I blame Tyler.  2015 has been an interesting year.  I found out I don't like living in San Diego.  It's a great place to visit, but not to live. I found out that 3rd place in my big money fantasy league doesn't get you any money.  I found out that Bruce Jenner always wanted to be a chick. I found out ISIS is bad, but they are not good at using maps. I found out the French may be assholes, but sucks when they get attacked. I found out Black lives matter. I found out that protesting and rioting still happens and can be scary.  I found out the media likes to blow things out of proportion.  I found out that Donald Trump might be the most fun political candidate of all time.  but most of all, i found out that I don't know shit about anything.  Steph Curry, like whoa in 2015.  Mets and Cubs became real teams again.  Deflated footballs are a big deal, until they aren't.  Some people maybe used HGH.  Ronda Rousey is a fake.  Tiger Woods is done.  Peter Rose is still banned.  hockey something. the SEC is not great at football. Chip Kelly sucks.  your mom sucks.  H doesn't want as much attention anymore.  Keith is less of a smart ass.  Tem has no time for this shit (RIP TCS).  EP is worse than me at picking nfl games.  Jug is no longer an astronaut.  Meiz is good at trivia, until he's not. beth still exists (maybe). Tyler changed jobs and waited a long time for some tools to ship (via twitter, not LOV) And people who like star wars are nerds apparently.

On to the picks.  Last week I was 6-9-1 thank you very much.  Brings my annual total to 118-99-6 (.543).  El Padrino was 5-9-1 bringing his total all the way up to 102-98-6 (.510).  I don't know if he can catch me, it would involve math, and i'm not good at that.  I guess there is always the playoffs too.

Bills +3 vs Jets
It's so Jets to lose this game.  Classic.  Rex may have his team fired up for this game.  I mean it's still the team that fired him, and they have a chance to get to .500.  And spoil the Jets playoffs hopes.  It's a tsunami of positives for the Bills.  Jets probably blow this one because of the high they have coming off of beating the living tar out of New England.  Just classic Jets.  Bills win 17-14

Pats -11.5 vs Dolphins
Last game of the Dan Campbell era.  Interesting to see who the Dolphins get to come coach that team.  Pats still have something to play for, they have to win to keep from going to Denver in the playoffs.  Maybe Belichick doesn't care about home field, but I bet he does.  Pats jump out big and coast with Garapolo in the second half.  31-17.

Saints +4 vs Falcons
Falcons superbowl was last week.  Saints are just playing for pride, and could be the last game with the Saints for both Brees and Payton.  Or it could not be, who knows.  Anyway, i think the saints win this outright because the falcons are garbage.  Saints 31-28

Ravens +10 vs Bengals
one thing i learned last week, division rivalries are no gimme.  Even though the Bengals are far and away the better team, John Harbaugh will have his team ready to play and compete, and if they can go into 2016 having beat both the bengals and the steelers it will give them a ton of momentum for next year.  That being said, they won't win the game, but they'll keep it close.  AJ McCarron is not that great.  Look, they moved the ball in the first half against the broncos, but AJ Green and Marvin Jones each had about 3 or 4 catches on the sideline that were spectacular at keeping their feet in bounds to keep those drives alive.  It's not like AJ was shredding the defense.  Anyway, I like the bengals to win because they're the better team 24-17

Steelers -11.5 vs Browns
Another divisional game, pride on the line...etc.  The Steelers won't be fooled again. It just won't happen.  They need some help to get into the playoffs, but they have to take care of their own business first, and they'll do just that.  38-10 and the Mike Pettine era ends in Cleveland with a whimper.

Jags +7 vs Texans
I know Hoyer is going to play, but I just like Blake Bortles better.  Texans are probably going to win, have the better defense for sure.  But the Jags are no slouch, their coach is coming back next year, and they've done some decent things this year.  They haven't been good on the road though, and that's the sign of a young team.  I think the texans win 24-20 so won't cover that spread.

Colts (off) vs Titans
I'll take the colts here in the battle of who the fuck?  If Hasselbeck can't play, who knows who the Colts will throw out there at QB, but it's still better than Mettenberger.  a lot of talk about Chip Kelly going to the Titans next year, but doubtful.  I like either Adam Gase or Josh McDaniels there better than Chip.  Colts will be looking for a new coach too, and both Gase and McDaniels should be on their radar.  How about that for McD, if he were to go to the hated Colts organization.  Maybe there is too much hatred for that.  I don't know. either way, colts win 24-7

Skins +3.5 vs Cowboys
That line has to be wrong right?  Is it because the skins are bad on the road?  has vegas not been watching these two teams. Kirk Cousins keeps the mojo going, they win 24-14.

Eagles +3.5 vs Giants
One of those, our coach got fired, so now we're going to play really hard games.  Giants may be playing to save Coughlin's job.  I don't know, he's got 2 superbowls and who are you going to get that's better.  Giants did not look interested in playing at all last week, so no reason to think they'll be any better this week.  I'll take the points Eagles win 24-21

Lions (pick 'em) vs Bears
Lions are playing a lot better lately.  5-2 in their last seven games, and one was the stupid hail mary game, and the other was a bogus call against the seahawks or they've won seven straight.  Bears were hot for a bit in the middle of the season, but haven't finished strong.  I'm going with the hotter team right now.  This run may have saved Jim Caldwell for another year.  Lions win 31-24

Chargers +10 vs Broncos
Broncos shouldn't be giving 10 points to anyone. Will be interesting to see how short of a leash Osweiler is on, now that Manning is back as the backup.  Will he be looking over his shoulder after every poorly thrown ball?  I think the broncos win this game because of their defense, but unless they get at least 1 if not 2 defensive scores, they don't beat anyone by double digits.  This has the feel of a 17-10 game, so i'll take that for the broncos.

Panthers -11.5 vs Bucs
Panthers need this game to keep HFA throughout the playoffs. And they looked like stink last week, so they'll be focused and come out intense and ready to go.  I like what Winston has done, gotten a little better each week.  The only way the panthers don't cover is if they get way ahead, bring in derek anderson, and let the bucs get a late TD to cover in garbage time.  Which could happen.  but i'm betting against it.  Panthers win 31-17.

Raiders +7.5 vs Chiefs
This is a game the Chiefs have to have.  They could move all the way up to the 3 seed and host a playoff game if they win and the Broncos lose.  So you know they'll come out motivated.  Raiders last game for Charles Woodson.  They'll play their asses off.  Plus it's a division rival, and you don't just roll over for them.  Raiders win and they get to 8-8, so you know the team wants to hit that magic .500 number.  Chiefs have been riding high, and I keep thinking they'll have an emotional let down and get bit eventually.  This is the week.  Raiders win, in shocking fashion on a Janikowski 58 yard FG in the snow 24-23.

Seahawks +7 vs Cardinals
I like how the NFL messed with the kickoff time of the Panthers and Chief's games so that nobody knows if they can just put it on cruise control and not play their guys.  Cardinals still have a shot at the #1 seed, so you expect them to come out and play hard.  Seahawks need to win so they have a shot at playing the Skins as opposed to going to Green Bay or Minnesota next week.  Plus the seahawks just got embarrassed last week.  They are a championship team, so they rebound hard.  Cardinals might be the best team in the NFC, but hawks win this one.  31-30

49ers +3 vs Rams
I'll take the home dog here.  No real reason.  49ers win 21-20

Vikings +3 vs Packers
Pack has dominated this series. A lot at stake for both teams here.  The winner gets to host a playoff game next week, loser goes on the road, maybe against this same team.  Weird scheduling for the packers if they win, they'll have played at Arizona, then home against the Vikings, then home again against the vikings, and if they win that game, go back to Arizona (assuming the cards don't get the #1 seed).  not much to say about this other than, the packers look awful at a time of year you shouldn't look awful.  Vikings had their best game of the season last week and have been clubbing fools the last few weeks.  I'll take the vikings in an upset here 21-17.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Merry Christmas assholes (and picks) and more picks!

I say Merry Christmas, fuck happy holidays

Was thinking about this the other day.  What is your favorite sneaky xmas movie.  Like a movie that could be on any time of the year, but it also has a christmas theme, but not necessarily obvious.  Like Christmas vacation is great, but it's obvious it's a christmas movie, same with a christmas story...etc. Cmblue's favorite in this category is "love actually".  That's the example.  A movie that isn't necessarily about christmas, but takes place during christmas maybe.  My example, is die hard.  Anytime cmblue makes me watch love actually, we chase it with Die Hard.   Anyway, thought I'd kick that one out there to see if there are any other great ones i can't remember.

On to the picks:  Last week I went 11-4-1 it's a christmas miracle.  I am now all the way up to 112-90-5.  (.554).  That's a good enough week.  EP struggled along at 7-7-1 (not including his miss on thursday night).  Gets his season total up to 97-89-5 (.521).  Hopefully he'll break the 100 win mark this week.  Maybe?

Raiders -6 vs Chargers
Christmas Eve game.  Both teams are hoping santa brings them a new home next year. The Chargers blew their load last week.  Can't believe I missed the "last game in San Diego" undertones coming from that game, and should have known they'd come out fired up.  Rookie mistake.  Raiders played the Packers pretty tough.  Raiders are the better team, and here is to two teams that next year could be sharing a stadium.  Speaking of which, how shitty would it be if the NFL only allowed the chargers and rams to move, and the raiders were stuck in Oakland.  I'll take the raiders to win outright 36-24.

Redskins +3 vs Eagles
muy importante game for the nfc least.  skins win and it all but locks up a playoff spot for them.  or maybe it does lock up a playoff spot, i don't know.  Skins have been playing well the last few weeks and have figured it out a little bit on the road.  Desean Jackson always likes to play in Philly, and maybe kirk cousins is the new santa claus.  I'm riding the skins here because I haven't picked them right pretty much all season (you're welcome eagles fans) Skins win 31-28.

Pats -3 vs Jets
These games are usually close.  I wouldn't put it past belichek (i can never spell his name right), to throw this game just so the JETS can stay alive in the playoff hunt.  JETS have to win out to get in, and hope the Broncos, chiefs, Steelers, lose one more.  And since the chiefs and steelers aren't losing again, it would only be the Broncos that would get left out.  So do I think that Belichek knows this? of course I do.  Do I think he'd create some shenanigans to keep the broncos out of the playoffs, you bet he would.  All that being said, consipiracy theories abound, i'm still taking the pats 31-24.

Texans (off) vs Titans 
I'm guessing it's not on the books because nobody is sure if Hoyer will play.  Who do you hate more, Brandon Weeden or Zach Mettenberger.  I'm going with the team here that has something left to play for.  Also, I think Hoyer will play.  And the texans have a stout defense.  So that's my pick, who do you have?  Texans win 31-10

Chiefs -13 vs Browns
Never thought i'd lay 13 points with the chiefs.  Does Johnny Football have a miracle left in him?  Chiefs control their own playoff destiny.  Pretty sad that the wildcard teams in the AFC, even though on the road, will be favored no matter who their opponent will be.  Chiefs have opened up the offense, and all of a sudden Alex Smith thinks he's back at Utah.  Gary Barnidge rented out a theater for his teammates to watch Star Wars tonight (christmas eve) at 7:30.  Apparently, he invited anyone else who wants to come, on twitter, to join him and his teammates.  I'm sure this will go well.  This game won't be close, i'll take the chefs to win big 38-10.

Colts +2.5 vs Dolphins
No idea who is playing QB for the colts, doesn't matter.  Dolphins packed their season in a long time ago.  Pagano will be playing with his grandkids back in Idaho, this time next year.  I will take the colts in a rout.  17-10

49ers +10.5 vs Lions
Lions have been playing a lot better here in the second half of the season.  makes jim caldwell look all that much worse of a coach in the first half though.  49ers are what they are.  They're tough enough though that they keep games relatively close.  I'll give Tomsula credit for that, they haven't quit on the season yet.  I had this game picked the other way, then decided I can't lay that many points, so while I think the Lions win, it's only by a TD.  Lions 24-17

Cowboys +7 vs Bills
This is one of those games that neither team has anything to play for but pride. Bills seem to be in a little bit of turmoil here down the stretch, whereas the Cowboys are just trying to keep it together.  Shady McCoy is out for the Bills.  I give the advantage to the cowboys.  Kellen Moore will make his first NFL start, which shouldn't scare anyone, but he's gotta be better than Matt Cassell.  Cowboys win in a shocker 21-17

Bucs -3 vs Bears
Lovie will have his team fired up to beat his old team.  Bucs still playing to get to .500 which would be a great accomplishment.  I actually think the Bears are the better team, but for some reason they just can't figure it out.  I'll take Winston and his boys 24-20

Panthers -7 vs Falcons
I could see the panthers losing this game, but I can't see the falcons winning it.  i'm gonna ride the Cam Newton wagon until I fall off I guess.  My aunt has season tickets to the panthers so it's been insufferable to hear about how great they are.  Nobody has season tickets to the falcons, maybe they should move to LA.  Rumor started.  I think Cam and the boys get it done early and don't fall apart late like they did with the giants.  Panthers 38-21.

Steelers -11.5 vs Ravens
Lots of home dawgs this week.  or maybe just two in a row, I don't know.  That's a lot of points for two divisional rivals who usually play tight close games.  But the Steelers are just that much better right now.  Ravens don't even have a QB.  Maybe Mallet, maybe Flacco, maybe schaub.  who knows.  Steelers were impressive last week against the broncos.  Honestly broncos should have won that game, can't seem to figure out how to move the ball in the 2nd half of games though.  Steelers passing game is pretty frisky, but really it's just AB.  the other two are jokers.  I'll take the steelers 38-10

Jags (off) vs Saints
I'm guessing brees doesn't play.  Why would he.  If you're hurt, just heal up man.  I'll take the young upstarts in Jacksonville.  And the end of an era in New Orleans.  I'm betting no Payton and either no Brees, or a really reduced priced Brees, next year.  Jags win 28-17

Rams +14.5 vs Seahawks
Seahawks have been red hot, like fire.  But don't have a running back. and play against a division opponent with a good enough defense.  I still like the Seahawks to win the game, but the rams and headCase Keenum keep it close enough.  Seahawks 31-17.

Cardinals -4.5 vs Packers
How is this not the SNF game of the week?  I'm guessing this was a game that Fox protected or something.  I'm not believing in the Pack.  While I almost took the packers because of the veteran experience in games like this, and usually a let down when a young team clinches a playoff spot (cards), i'm still believing that the packers really suck, and have been staying afloat with smoke and mirrors for the last 3 weeks.  In the end, where there's smoke, there isn't fire, just mirrors, so i'll take the Cards 31-24

Vikings -5 vs Giants
I guess everyone figured out, you can get into OBJ's head.  What a fucking douche man.  Totally a horrible representation out there last week.  Guess what, now that you've taken him away, the Giants literally have no offense.  Giants can't stop the run, can't stop the pass.  It was a hell of a comeback last week, but the vikings are playing for their playoff lives.  (or have they already clinched, i don't know).  Maybe they'll have already clinched by the time they play though.  I do think they're trying to play up and get to that 5 seed though, so they have to keep winning.  I'd rather play the skins in DC than the Packers again in Lambeau.  Although that would make next week interesting considering it would be a preview of the following week.  or it would make it awful to watch.  Anyway.  I'm taking the vikings 31-17.

Broncos -3 vs Bengals
Broncos might need to be ahead by 40 points at halftime.  Fuck, not sure what happens to them in the second half.  I guess that's a sign of piss poor coaching if you can't make adjustments in the 2nd half, or don't expect the other team to adjust.  Frustrating part is that their defense is rock steady (except for covering Antonio Brown), and all they need from their offense is some continuity in the second half.  Just quit going 3 and out.  Fuck.  Vernon Davis has a huge drop in the last two games that would have kept big drives alive.   Osweiler can't throw the ball 45-50 times and expect to win, not at this stage in his career, so they've got to pound the rock.  Miraculously, they've still got a shot at the #1 seed in the AFC.  All they need to do, is win out, and hope that Belichek is playing possum and throws the game against the jets, and then pats get upset in week 17 against the dolphins....so you're saying there's a chance.  Most likely, this game is for the 2 seed in the AFC.  Although if the broncos lose, they could be in trouble making the playoffs, as discussed earlier.  So in conclusion, AJ McCarron sucks donkey dick.  I'll take the broncos 42-7.  Merry Christmas

El Pad
Wash +3
NE -3
Hou -3.5
KC -11
Indyy +2.5
SF +11
Dal +7
TB -3
Car -7
Pit -10
NO -3
SEA -12
GB +4.5
MIN -7
DEN -3

Saturday, December 19, 2015


Jets -3 over DAL
Something keeps telling me Dallas is going to win because the Jets need to win. But common sense says there is no way Dallas is going to be able to move the ball enough to win.

MIN -5.5 over Bears
The Bears are not very good, nobody thought they would have the amount of wins they have so it's over. Party over you proved your point, no go quietly into the off-season there are teams that actually need these wins.

JAX -3 over Atl

ooopph. 5-0 to being the underdog vs. the Jaguars. Yikes.

Hou +1 over IND
Just add these two teams to the NFC East

Car -4 over NYG
Cam is gonna destroy the Giants defense. Worse defense I've ever seen the Giants have.

Ten +14 over PATS

Why not.

Buf -2 over WASH
Vegas is sneaky.

Kay Cee -7 over BAL
Don't worry the Chiefs WILL lose soon. Round 1.

SEA -15 over Browns
The way Seattle has been playing I would be ok laying 21

OAK +3 over Green Bay
Love home dogs. Especially a cocky young home dog.

Den +7.5 over STEEL CITY
That's a lot of points to give to a defense that travels. Osweiller will put up points, the Stillirs are terrible in pass defense.

Mia +1.5 over SD
The real interview for Dan Campbell, can he keep the team motivated when all hope is lost. On the road, long trip. Short week.

Cincy -5.5 over SF
Plenty of weapons for two time national champ AJ McCarron.

az -3.5 over PHILLY
19-3 when Palmer is the QB - cool stat

NO -3 over Lions
Wow another Monday night banger.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Week 15, you mad bro?

You mad bro is still one of the funniest things to me.  Maybe i'm juvenile.  Probably

I wanted one of those hoverboard things, but now you can't buy them because they all catch on fire or something.  The danger and intrigue makes them more desirable.  I won't get one this year for christmas.  Santa is afraid of fire danger toys i guess

I will say it's very odd getting ready for christmas and it's 70 degrees everyday.  going looking for a christmas tree in shorts and a t-shirt just feels wrong.

Company christmas party tonight.  Time to get wicked smashed.  or not, i've got to drive like 30 miles home afterwards.  In my younger days that wouldn't have scared me off, but i'm not younger anymore.  I will report back with any cool pictures or interesting food offerings.

I tried to watch the GOP debates last night. It's hard, not that it's any worse than the democratic ones either, just watching debates is hard.  It's hard not to laugh at the idiotic ideas.  It's just hard.  So drink whisky and enjoy being alive, that's what I say.

On to the picks....last week I was 9-7 (again), not to shabby, EP started out weak 1-8, but finished strong in the afternoon games and SNF and MNF to finish 7-8.  What could have been a disaster was sorted out. Overall season i'm 101-86-4 (.540) and EP is 90-82-4 (.523).  So overall if you'd have bet based on all of our picks, you'd be in the money.  I take this very seriously, i don't want anyone to lose money.

Bucs +2.5 vs Rams
Sorry Tem.  I don't get the bucs.  How do you not hang 35 points on New Orleans at home?  Especially when there is an opportunity that you could still make the playoffs?  Well, that opportunity is gone now, so now you're just playing for crab legs. I guess they could still finish over .500 which would be quite the accomplishment, so not a bad season.  But the NO loss and the skins loss derailed what could have been.  Oh well.  Rams are a disaster.  Fisher is probably getting fired.  The team is moving to LA.  They don't have a QB.  I really think they aren't that far away from being competitive if they could just get some quality QB play.  Maybe they can trade for Johnny Football, or pick up Jimmy Claussen.  Bucs win the game 21-20, sorry tem

Oh by the way, I did win last week and made the final 4 in my big money fantasy league.  So I've got that going for me.  I'm glad I sat Amari Cooper.  I ended up not taking anyone's advice and played Ryan Mathews, since I know you're all interested.

Jets -3 vs Cowboys
On a saturday night?  I mean it's christmas come early.  Jets have been red hot the last few weeks.  You know that Brandon Marshall has a TD catch in 10 games this year. I know this because he's on my fantasy team...booyah.  He'll probably suck now though when I need to win to get in the money.  Eric Decker has like 9 games with a TD catch.  How about 2 former broncos doing it up nice in New York.  I like this Jets team, they could be sneaky good in the playoffs...but then I remember they have fitzpatrick.  Jets are playing for their playoff lives.  3 teams tied for 2 spots, it's sad that either the Jets, Chiefs, or Steelers won't get in the playoffs, but the Colts, texans or jags will.  Stupid. That's about all I have to say about the cowboys, other than Darren McFadden has been a great pickup in fantasy, but he's going to struggle this week.  Dez might explode after this game.  Like literally his head might just explode with brains and blood going everywhere.  Jets win 31-10.

Vikings -5.5 vs Bears
Vikings have had some extra time to prepare.  The vikings are pretty much locked into the playoffs.  Would have to be a disaster finish to not get a wildcard at this point.  That being said, they still need to keep winning.  If they can keep pace with the seahawks, then they'll get the winner of the NFC least as opposed to having to go to Lambeau.  I liked how they rebounded against the cardinals, even if they didn't get the W, they still kept it close.  Good teams like the vikings don't lose to the bears.  I like the Bears though.  Cutler has actually played pretty well.  It'll suck for him when Gase becomes the head coach of the Colts next year though.  (sorry jug).  Bears really need to overhaul that defense, and I see AP going off again for like 175 yards.  The game earlier this season was close.  But this one won't be.  Vikings win 31-20.

Falcons +3 vs Jags
I know the falcons have been bad lately, but c'mon, dogs to the jags?  You know the Jaguars technically could still make the playoffs?  I heard a stat that the Falcons haven't scored a rushing TD in like 7 straight games.  This all seems like bizarro world.  Matty Ice has thawed and now he's matty water or matty steam.  What's the opposite of having ice water in your veins? like you have shit in your veins, or drano or something.  Maybe he's Matty Drano now.  Either way, I like the Jags next year, but not this year.  Should be a shootout, except the falcons don't score a lot of points.  I don't know, i'm all over the place here.  I'll just say that the falcons finally do score a rushing TD or 3 and win the game 42-41.

Texans (off) vs Colts
TJ Yates vs Charlie Whitehurst.  How did this game not get flexed to SNF?  I mean the winner here has the inside track to the playoffs.  Colts win and they basically clinch the division, one game lead with the tie breakers with 2 to go.  I'm making this prediction assuming Luck doesn't play, which I think is a pretty strong assumption.  You know that the Colts haven't had a game where a back has rushed for over 100 yards since like 2012?  That's a real stat. JJ Watt didn't seem super comfortable with his broken hand.  I mean who would, but at least he played through it like a boss, instead of being a pussy (ahem...Andy Dalton).  Texans defense is the difference in this game.   I don't think that TJ Yates drops 51 on the colts like my man Blake Bortles did, but he'll put up 30, and that'll be enough. (by the way, how smart is Adam Gase to not take the 49ers job last year, and yes, he turned it down, now he could be coaching Andrew Luck next year, as opposed to Blaine Gabbert). Texans win 30-10.

Giants +5.5 vs Panthers
Giants seem to be a thorn in the side of undefeated teams.  Panthers have everything locked up, so motivation could be an issue.  Giants always seem to rise to the occasion here.  Giants beat the broncos in 1998 when they were 13-0.  Giants beat the Bears in 1985 when they were 12-0.  Giants almost beat, and then did beat the patriots when they were 18-0.  Actually if you go back the last 30 years, in almost every season, they've given a team their first loss.  So while none of that has any bearing on this game, it's a fun story to tell.  And I like the Giants.  Although, I do hope Josh Norman shuts down OBJ and keeps him to like one catch of 7 yards.  #fantasyplayoffreasons.  Panthers may win, but it's been coming too easy.  I like the Giants to actually pull off the upset, 24-20. (Sorry EP)

Pats +15.5 vs Titans
This one isn't even fair.  That's a gigantic number, but as I told you last week.  Mariota doesn't play well when he's pressured and against the blitz so far this year.  It hurts the pats to keep losing players some defensive tackle that I haven't heard of got hurt, and LG is out for the season now too.  But the pats are a masheen.  I trust in Belichick that he's gonna destroy a young QB.  Gronk is back-ish.  Pats have the #1 seed right in front of them, so I don't see them letting that slip away again.  Don't see how the pats don't steam-roll for this win.  42-10.

Bills (pick'em) vs Skins
Bills are just an up and down team.  One week they are great, the next they suck.  Last week was the suck week.  Skins to me are still smoke and mirrors, can't figure them out one bit.  They've been pretty good at home though, and Kirk Cousins has made him some money the last few weeks.  But I think Rex will try and confuse him some.  I don't have much else on this game except go Shady McCoy.  Throw it to him and let him run all over the skins.  I think the bills win this one straight up, 17-14.

Chiefs -7.5 vs Ravens
Chiefs are red hot right now.  Ravens are a red hot mess.  I think the seahawks killed the morale of the ravens last week, so I don't see the ravens bouncing back this week.  I'm secretly (or maybe openly) rooting for the Ravens to win this game, but that seems ridiculously unrealistic.  Chiefs offense has seemed to figure it out, unless they're in a driving rain storm.  This is a realistic AFC championship game team now that the bengals are going to go in the tank.  I'll lay the points here and let Alex Smith be the savior, 31-10 chiefs.

Browns +16 vs Seahawks
That number is just too high. I know the seahawks have been murdering fools lately.  But c'mon...that's a ridiculous number.  Seahawks are definitely hot, hottest team in football not named the Panthers.  Rounding into form to make another run.  Johnny Manziel actually can play.  He's not too awful when given the chance.  This is a little tougher game, going on the road against a much better defense, but I still think he can keep it kinda close.  maybe i'm wrong, maybe i'm right.  who knows.  Final score seahawks win but don't cover 35-24.

Packers -3 vs Raiders
I like the raiders, but don't love them.  They had no business winning that game last week against the broncos. Drop in the endzone by DT, and Osweiler missed a wide open Virgil Green in the EZ (threw it about 10 yards over his head).  Both of those convert and the broncos win by 8.  Lowest yardage total to win a game in like 20 years or something.  But i digress.  I feel like the Pack kind of figured things out last week.  They can run the ball and throw it to Randall Cobb, they'll be alright.  This is like a home game for Rodgers too, Northern California kid.  Bet you didn't know that, or you probably did.  I like Amari Cooper to have a big bounce back game, especially without a good CB on the packers.  Overall though, the packers are the better team and should win by a TD.  Pack win 24-17.

Dolphins +1 vs Chargers
Chargers shouldn't be favored against anybody.  The dolphins aren't that bad. Can't believe that the dolphins are in a tie game against the Giants on Monday night, and they only give the ball to lamar miller two times in the second half.  Twice?  seriously.  Anyway, McCoy is getting fired in San Diego.  The chargers are moving to LA (although i did hear a guy here suggest that when the chargers move to LA, the jags will move to San Diego).  You know the chargers have scored only 3 points in 3 of their last 4 games, I know that, and now you know, and I do know that you know that knowing is half the battle. So we've got that going for us.  Chargers could get the #1 pick, it's within their grasp.  Although I'm not sure who you take, apparently some defensive players (according to mcshay's first mock draft), but that's not really San Diego's problem (see the 3 points scored stat).  Anyway, dolphins have more talent and the better team...win the game 24-20.

Bengals -4.5 vs 49ers
AJ McCarron is good enough to beat the 49ers.  I like that he basically just looks to throw it to AJ Green.  There will be a lot of young player mistakes like the 2 INTs he threw last week.  But he was in a tough spot.  I mean, he compared himself to Tom Brady in the post game presser last week, so yeah.  I mean he's got confidence, which is not a great thing in a young QB, he thinks he's better than he is.  Fun stat, an Alabama QB hasn't won a start in like 25 years or something.  HA.  fuck alabama.  But that streak ends this week, because the 49ers are that bad, and the bengals have too much talent everywhere else.  Bengals win this game 31-17.

Broncos +7.5 vs Steelers
This is a pretty high number for the steelers.  That defense that denver has is the real deal.  Will they completely shut down Big Ben?  Probably not, but they haven't given up a 300 yard passing day yet this year.  So there's that.  Believe it or not, the steelers defense isn't as good as the Raiders.  It's true.  True story.  If the broncos can run the ball and protect Osweiler (he can't throw it 51 times a game) they'll at least keep it close.  I'm going with the steelers to win here, but they won't cover.  Steelers 20-17. (and I really need Ben and Antonio Brown to have shitty games for fantasy playoff reasons)

Cardinals -3.5 vs Eagles
Eagles seem to think they've got something going.  rough deal for them.  Cardinals are just the better team, and they're hot (maybe with 2 t's?).  I think the cardinals could win the superbowl this year, that's how good they are.  Eagles suck.  Cards win this game 34-10

Lions +3 vs Saints
Lions 35-31 because nobody cares

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino